It’s been a while, hope it stays that way.
Cosimo Galluzzi
YOU ARE THE REASON

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Janaina Medeiros

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@oceaneater
It’s been a while, hope it stays that way.
I sit on a rock
Cannot be touched by struggle and confusion
I reclaim my space inside my structure
Look at this point
All is about nothing, everything comes near
The remotest parts of the world
I never thought I’d expirience suicide first hand. As I sit and comfort a family I haven’t known in years, there’s a thousand things running through my head. I’ll never get to see one of my oldest friends again. His mother won’t. Hearing her trying to keep her composure just to tell me was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to sit through. I feel an immense sympathy for this family, but as strange as it is, even more so with the person I cared about, who ended their own life.
-
This all makes me feel two sides of everything. I myself have thought of ending my own life. Some times I feel like it’d be easier than living. I wouldn’t be afraid of an unexpected end, I’d bring it to myself. Tonight, though, I saw what that brings to people who love you. That is even scarier than ending your own life, I think. I don’t blame this person for ending their own life, but this clarifies to me that I mean more than myself. It may not feel that way quite often, but it’s true. I would crush somebody.
-
I don’t resent this person for his decision, but it’s a terrifying feeling that somebody I grew up with is gone. Years of memories, laughs, and connection just gone. He’s just a memory now. I do not like this. It gives me a terrible, haunting chill down my spine that I can’t shake. A lot of things have happened recently to give me this old familiar feeling. One thing after another it seems. Yet here I am, doing my best to keep moving forward. As hard as I try to do that, I can’t stop looking backwards. It’s difficult, but I never had to deal with it like this kind of tragedy.
-
I hope you are free of your pain, Matt, and I don’t hate you for giving me mine. This pain is from love, and this pain is one that is almost comforting.
I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
I don't like illusions
I can't see them clearly
I don't care; no, I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually
What you'll do
I don't mind
I don't care
As long as you're here
Go ahead, tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same
her (2013)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) dir. Michel Gondry
I hear you've been telling all your friends
That you're done with me
Like you always knew things wouldn't work out
And I've been hearing things from people
That I don't want to talk to
Like it matters who you're sleeping with now
Can I erase from my mind anything that you said or
Any time that we spent with each other?
I don't want to waste away another cell on a memory
When you're just another meaningless lover
Forget the nights that we spent laughing
Till the morning on your bedroom floor
Without a thought about your roommate
Asleep down the hall
Forget the days we'd waste in bed, tangled
The smoke still on your breath
Undressed and pinning you up to the wall
And I swore I heard you talking when I was tossing in my sleep
You were always trying to walk in circles around me
I was out one night when I saw you
And you froze me where I stood
I would hate you, I would hate you if I could
Forget the nights that we spent laughing
Till the morning on your bedroom floor
Without a thought about your roommate
Asleep down the hall
Forget the days we'd waste in bed, tangled
The smoke still on your breath
Undressed and pinning you up to the wall
I would hate you
But I'm not finished yet
Even you, up on that pedestal
The time will come
When you will deconstruct yourself
And remake what you are
When it does you'll remember me
And the words I spoke
And wonder how you ever could have strayed so far
Head in the ceiling fan goes rolling
And missing like bullets slamming into deer skin
Glued my green eyes to your face
I'm blind
Follow footsteps
A bleeding bloodline
Head in the ceiling fan goes rolling
And missing like bullets slamming into deer skin
Creature From The Black Lagoon Directed by Jack Arnold (1954)
I realize that it is myself I am the most afraid of.
How could I find out the answer in time
I wanted to unlock every puzzle with you
Instead we kept them closed
If the earth didn’t spin
We’d take our place I’d find you again
And bottle up the laughter we let go too free
And keep it next to me
‘Cause I
I thought I had nothing to lose
Running in circles for you
I thought I had nothing to lose
”I’m not gonna walk you in, okay?” -Okay. “I don’t want you to miss your plane.”
1985 (2018), dir. Yen Tan
“I just feel so alone, even when I’m surrounded by other people.“ (Lost in Translation, 2003)
“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.”
Her (2013) Spike Jonze
𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎