I guess I knew I'd feel this way again.
I hurt you. I thought I was protecting you and I thought it was right at the time. But I still hurt you.
Now I know the truth. Ever since I lost you the first time I couldn't live with myself and couldn't do anything without missing you. So everyone that came into my life I was too scared of getting truly close with in case you came back so I could drop them for you. I didn't stop that mentality when you did come back, and I did it to you.
I stayed distant and afraid, and told you I was scared. I never stopped caring about you, if anything more when I lost you. I didn't realise you were all I had until you were gone and I was alone.
You say I'll go to the next and just tell them you were crazy, that you hurt me and I ran. But that's the opposite of the truth. I can't get myself to take anyone in anymore.
There are no excuses left. You told me to stay out and I will. You told me to never talk to you again and I will.
I just wish you cared as much as you said you did.