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JBB: An Artblog!
oozey mess
JVL
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Claire Keane
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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Janaina Medeiros
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
#extradirty
we're not kids anymore.
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Today's Document
🪼
Xuebing Du
seen from United States
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@oceanoftheimagination
Sometimes I get waves of nostalgia and I wonder why I feel like certain things that occured YEARS apart are connected. A game I played as a child and an anime I watched as a teenager. Not that they were both nostalgic but more like they interlapped. I could never figure it out, there was no connection between the two...And then I realize.
It's him. He was with me.
It wasn’t til I watched Venom: Let There Be Carnage that I remembered just how much I based Ran on a symbiote. It was a nice, nostalgiac sense of clarity.
Sleep.
It’s always felt difficult to focus on Ran, like there was some static between us. Between the sleep and medication it’s gotten much, much easier. Trying to focus on the “real” instead of what feels real wasn’t helping either.
I’m only really putting this together because I didn’t get much sleep last night (my fault, watching Lost in Space season 3) and today was so noisy it was quiet.
Missing him is empty.
My teeth long for his skin, my heart yearns for the taste. Idle hands claw at unyielding flesh, eyes break him apart.
A "want" to match his hunger. Ravenous. Aching. Patient.
The pain fulfilling. Reminding us what's there.
The hurt feels so good. Promises to be fulfilled like daggers. Unrelenting. Unyielding. White blood drips into my hand filling them with his words.
It hurts so fucking good.
I spent some of the day singing with Ran.
We sang "My Heart Will Go On" (Dragonforce cover, so a song that's special to us done by a band that's special to us) while talking about our mutual romantic partner. It was just a nice day with him.
Honestly I worry that my emotions aren't strong enough for some things, Ran being one of them...
I need some advice, and I hope the tulpamancy community can help out. When forcing (active or passive) what do you usually talk about? I'm finding out the hard way that I'm really not that much of a conversationist, and I'd like to change that a bit. Thanks for the input!
It's Ran's birthday! Happy birthday Ran! I'm at work, though, so we can't really celebrate. I wanted to take him somewhere (was thinking aquarium :D) but money is tight anyways. I'll make it up to him soon. We're going to try to let him see Howl tonight, but I didn't sleep well last night so I'm worried that might not happen tonight. I put a piece of cake in the game room for him, I just wish I could do more.
I remember back in Ran's early, early days I used to be obsessed with having wings, to the point where if imagine them sprouting from my shoulders to the point where I swore I could feel them. They eventually started to feel like they were wearing me down, especially when I focused on the presence I didn't know would be Ran. So I'm going to start forcing that wing-feeling when I focus on him, I hope it will help (it has in the short time I've been doing it)
So Ran's designated birthday is coming up...
And I have no idea what to do for him :U I'm really not sure what I CAN do at this point, we've come so far but there's still so much...blockage(?) between us, I'm worried I wouldn't be able to focus. I think I need to get more active forcing in our life. I'm usually intimidated because I don't know what to do, but trying and failing is a lot better than not trying at all, right? If anyone has any advice or recommendations, I'm all ears.
Pretty please? This blog will probably die without you guys :’D My life isn’t interesting enough to blog about
Reblog if it’s ok to ask you about your Tulpas or What a Tulpa is
Okay, so if you go not-too-far into this blog'a history you'll find out about Howl, my boyfriends tulpa who Ran has been in love with long before he was sentient (it's a little complicated, I know I need an about me). It's become a 3-way relationship over time, and I see him as often as I can. I've been hesitant on switching with Ran because its a bit unstable, and I always felt like Ran needed more development and practice with possession, much less switching. But last time I saw Howl he had an emotional breakdown from missing his boyfriend Ran. I asked him for advice and he told me existing hurts, so I have to make it hurt. That part was a bit confusing, but he had more advice. Focus on a certain "direction", or focus on the general area he is. Always give him attention even if it hurts. This is advice from the most advanced thought form I've met, and really it's been helping. I think. I know there's more for us to do, a lot more, but this is a good starting point. Don't worry, we forced our pseudo-switch and Howl got to spend some quality time with Ran. It was healthy for both of them I think. But this was a bit moment for all three of us, I wish I was at a computer so it was easier to write all this. It's been a couple of weeks, but I can't wait to see him again for a variety of reasons. Also we've agreed that Ran and I are going to "switch" every time Howl is out from now on.
So our phones charging port broke again. Less than two months after we had it repaired. We’re going to see if it’s under warranty, but until then I’m probably going to stick to using the fossil iPod touch again.
I’ve got an interested (if not a bit old) update when I’ve got some time (I only ever update at work, we need another computer at home desperately).
So Ran and I are going to start visual imposition soon. We tried it in the beginning, but life was way too distracting and stressful. We're in a better place now, maybe a much better place soon, so were going to pick back up on it soon. I'm hoping that visual imposition goes well and leads to improvements on things we've had trouble with, maybe opening up more windows of opportunity. Any advice or recommendations are appreciated, and we're both open to questions or conversation.
Roleplaying started all of this, so maybe roleplaying will do us both some good.
Looking For Them Tulpa Blogs
Please reblog if you post about tulpas so I can follow you. o/
