I’m not really sure what an oc introject is and I’m vaguely familiar with what a kin is but I’ve been reading on these asks and they hit home with me. I’ve been changing a lot, I’m about to be 19 but I don’t feel at all like it’s appropriate. I’m the oldest of my siblings and cannot relate with my mom, as she was already engaged at this point, whereas I am single and just beginning to fledge into adult life.
I have this oc that just. Happened one night. I was in the car, I sort of had Zachariah kull from that old Disney channel movie Scream Team on my mind for some reason and was vaguely interested in that actor. That’s been happening a lot. Anyway.
This oc just. Materialized. I bonded to him immediately, faster than I had with any oc before and he quickly took the place of the former head oc. But he feels so different… so potent, so real. I can feel him, in my soul, like his is a part of mine. It was physically painful, almost, when it happened. Now I’m COMPLETELY aware this guy is NOT REAL. Not physically, at least. But he’s so… intwined with me. I mean, this guy comforted me and kept me from dying of an stress-induced heart attack in July. I’ve heard him speak in my deep sleep, heard him say things to me that kept me from making horrible decisions. I’ve felt his spirit glow beside me as I ride across my boss’s pasture on the atv. He brings me peace in my darkest moments.
I don’t know what this means, I’ve never felt it before. All I know is that I have never felt closer to a sort of “synthetic” spirit in my life. He’s the main character in the novel I’m writing, and the words just pour out of me.
I know that I suffered some brain damage in July from stress and overworking and heat stroke. But it doesn’t feel like it’s coming from my head. I’m a Christian, I believe in God, but in a more individual and imaginative way… sometimes I feel like he’s speaking to me through my baby. I do believe that I am loved and that this sweet fellow was a gift.
I don’t know. I just want to know if what this is falls into one of the categories here.
Hello there! While the system behind this blog can't claim to be too knowledgeable in medical things — and I admit we're a little out of our depth when it comes to the full scope of kin terms — our opinion is that yeah, it could fall into something like osdd/kinning! When we first started realizing we were a system, it started as having an oc the host felt was really real and then our awareness of the system grew from that.
What I think is important for you to do is research (though I'm sure you're already working on it especially if you found our little blog :>); looking into did/osdd, or kinning, and even other medical reasons this might be happening (it's better to be safe than sorry). There are resources for both kinning and did/osdd around (and if any of our followers have any to share please do) including Pluralpedia, which kinda defines a lot of the system terms the community uses.
Basically just look around and see if anything resonates with you! No one knows what you're going through better than you do. even if it's scary or confusing to figure out what exactly that is, remember that labels can change and brains are Weird so don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. You are more than welcome to use this blog while figuring it all out ^ ^
