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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

tannertan36
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
art blog(derogatory)
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Claire Keane
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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trying on a metaphor
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@octoberwinds
Pappy is part of whatever aguefort has going on with plug and lapin send tweet
Fabian Seacaster is an enigma to me, not because of who he is, but because how I feel about him. Fabian Seacaster is entitled, spoiled, self-absorbed, rich, rude, and worst of all, a teenage boy. He believes he's the coolest person in the world and deserves everything good and cool to happen to him. You're supposed to like him, but want him to be humbled, go through character growth and realise everything isn't about coolness. Yet. Yet that's not the fucking case. Every single time Fabian tries something cool I want him to succeed. I want him to win all his fights even when it's unreasonable that he should. He starts PvP with Pete fucking Conlan, the sweetest guy ever. A trans man from New York with a pet butterfly who lives with five roommates and is best friends with a goth and 60 year old, he's always dressed in a cowboy hat and fishnet shirt. And I love him. And I'm still rooting for this entitled little shit to win. He doesn't deserve to. And yet.
Lestat: whoring around as a rockstar, telling his life story
Armand subplot:
i will die on this hill
With Louis the tale seduces you
With Lestat the tale fucks you six ways from Sunday
BloodyMary where Simon wakes up on the Hail Mary before Grace.
Like, the universe blinks and some space/time phenomenon runs afoul of Simon's elder god moment and the next thing he knows, he's waking up inside some kind of space ship(?) that appears to be running on autopilot.
It's weird and the tech looks both dated and brand new, expensive and advanced but also extremely retro, like someone using a diamond-encrusted rotary phone to check their emails. Luckily it's all mostly in language that Simon can comprehend, unluckily a lot of the equipment still seems like it would require several degrees of expertise to operate. But eventually Simon figures out enough to find the ship's crew, and... it's not looking good for them.
Two of them are dead. Have been for a while. Whatever stasis system(?) they have has preserved the corpses pretty well, but it's past the point of being able to try and revive them. The other is still alive, but Simon's not sure how to safely wake him up or what to do if that starts to change. He decides to just keep an eye on the situation, presumably there's a system that will wake the guy up whenever the ship reaches its destination, and if he starts to look bad before that point then Simon can always try to manually revive him and hope for the best.
Anyway, the ship has medicine and supplies, which he desperately needs. He figures the other two crewmen weren't planning on dying, so they can probably spare enough of said supplies for him. He figures out the AI well enough to start asking questions and eventually puts together that he's time traveled(?) or crossed into another dimension, that this ship is on a mission to figure out why the stars are going dim, or rather why there's one star that isn't, and he's not sure what to make of it but it seems he's also landed on another one-way trip.
When Grace wakes up, confused and without his memories, Simon panics and because Grace assumes he must've been part of the crew he just... goes with that. Grace thinks that he woke up from stasis early and that his weirdness is a result of isolation. He's a little surprised that there's an amputee aboard but it would be insensitive to ask, right? Not that a one-armed guy can't be an astronaut, yeah? Although Simon is also weirdly cagey about what his specialty is supposed to be and seems vague on the mission too, Grace assumes his memory also suffered some kind of an issue from being in stasis, he's just glad he's not alone.
Then they run into Blip-A and they're even more not alone, Rocky moves in, everyone does science, Simon still doesn't really seem to have an area of expertise per se, Grace keeps waiting to remember the part where Simon joined the mission (he's sure he'd remember him), Simon's kind of sweating bullets still wondering how he's supposed to explain anything, and then the whole fishing trip on Adrian goes pear-shaped and Simon uses like. Eldritch blood magic...?
Grace is having trouble computing that but he definitely saw it. So. Guess that explains why he's on the mission, if someone found a literal space wizard they would want them on the Mankind-saving mission, if ever there was a time for some kind of secret cult society of wizards living under the radar to come out in the open it would be now, yeah. But Grace can also see where explaining that to an amnesiac would be awkward and seem too hard to believe.
He has connected the dots!
Anyway he doesn't really notice that his Simon Joins the Mission and Reveals Wizards memories never arrive, he's too distracted by the revelation that Stratt forced him to go on the mission and he didn't volunteer, and then there's the whole issue with the taumoeba breaking containment and turning back to rescue Rocky and save Erid, which they both agree to do. By that point Simon has established himself as a presence in Grace's mind and Grace no longer considers him that much of a mystery to be solved (Simon's abilities are, Simon himself is not), whenever Simon lets slip something about like, competing for food or being in prison or in a cult, Grace just assumes he himself was pretty sheltered from how bad the situation on Earth was getting due to being in the Project Hail Mary bubble, and is like yeah okay Stratt double fair play to you, I didn't realize it was getting quite so Mad Max out there.
Now up until this point, Simon has done a good job of staying out of Grace's logs. Grace has mentioned him but in such a way that everyone on Earth probably thinks he's hallucinated an imaginary friend in the isolation and stress, like well damn he's cracked but at least the science seems sound.
Yes sure Dr Ryland Grace, your good friend Simon the One-Armed Blood Wizard is up there with you and the aliens, and for that matter so are all of us in spirit. Godspeed and thank you for your noble sacrifice.
Grace himself thinks that Simon is making his own reports, but when they go to send the beetles he's like, no we should do one together to make it clear that we're both agreeing to this and have come to this decision as a team. At which point Simon is just like, well... okay? Still just kind of avoiding conflict by going with the path of least resistance. So he smiles and nods and waves at the camera, and is like Hello Earth, Simon the One-Armed Blood Wizard here. Um. Yeah I'm good with going back to save Rocky and Erid too. Best wishes, and all that.
Grace doesn't find out until they're on Erid and they get the first long distance transmission from Earth that essentially amounts to him discovering that not only did he make first contact with aliens, he also made first contact with interdimensional blood wizards.
One of my favorite things about Armand as a character is how much of a hypocrite he is like. It’s this combination of being one of the more empathetic characters in the series (ironically. And this doesn’t mean he feels sympathy to be clear) and a staunch refusal or inability to examine or face anything he’s been through that leads to like. It’s complicated but in the books (spoilers) he gives his children, who TLDR of The Vampire Armand are human kids who remind him of himself as a human child (again I don’t know if he ever notices this) to Marius for safekeeping and is fucking shocked and horrified when Marius hurts them to hurt Armand (turns them). Like. He has this whole crash out at Marius for doing to these kids exactly what he did to him but he could never see it for what it was until it was done to others like him. In IWTV he makes some mention of like oh Claudia was made too young how tragic her life will be so hard and Louis (understandably) frames this as Armand not knowing Claudia and like ofc being generally a dick responsible for her death which like yeah all true but also like would (book) Armand maybe know something about being made too early? And in TVL Armand fucking HATES Gabrielle like HATES her and it’s like oh ok so there’s this parental figure with a very predatory relationship with her child which ofc Armand would know nothing abt duhh except here he immediately is like wow this woman is the worst. And yeah I think a lot of it’s framed as like he’s obsessed with Lestat which right true but. Come on. Like he’s always the first to clock something being genuinely wrong for other characters when it mirrors his own trauma but also he staunchly refuses to examine any of his own trauma or the fact that it exists. Like idk man it’s so interesting.
Lestat: "Lelio! Not Harlequin!"
Armand: "He also loved to wear these btw"
Page 23
MEANWHILE..... the goofy goobers! not as goofy goobering as one would think, but alas. silly only comes in waves. also, an extra mini on what rocky was hearing \/
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close ups \/
You should draw ryland, rocky and Adrian as that like "OUR THIRD" "NOT WITH THEM" or something of it
he just doesnt like the attention ok
furthest we've ever been
Imagine being an Eridian scientist tasked with maintaining a mass biodome to ensure the health of AN ALIEN LIFEFORM that breathes poison and is made of organs inside and out (top of the food chain on his planet, btw...)
One day, you're observing this creature as he smashes apart a slab of ochre, SPITS ALL OVER IT, and then rubs his hand into the concoction. He then PRESSES THAT HAND into the side of your METICULOUSLY sythasized cave terrain (which you made specifically for him!!!)
To Grace, it's a testament to human survival on an inhabitable planet. A reminder of how far humans have come. Ancient graffiti. "I did this. I was here. I was alive. A human made it this far."
To the Eridians watching: it's some gross bullshit that makes them look at each other the same way Jim eyes the camera in The Office.
Like "Are you seeing this shit? What the actual fuck???"
I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH OML!!!!! So fucking beautiful and so funny when you think about it. God bless.
furthest we've ever been
gonna need armand x louis to start a support group for themselves wherein they start hooking back up out of shame and horror from watching "rock" "star" lestat crash out from afar because neither of them can look daniel in the eye to try to get the exquisite (pity?) fuck from him that they truly want because he's the only one who knew better all along.
funi in my head, stupid in execution. Anyway, happy pride.
"Grace doesnt have enough food on the jorney to Erid" yeah but Rocky does. Rocky has plenty, in fact, Rocky had enough food for 23 eridians for a bit over 30 years (because they were also expected to make the jorney back) Rocky has so much food, and he cant give any to grace because it will kill him. Every meal he makes he can hear Grace's body slowly collapsing in on itself from hunger. Rocky has to sit there, with way more than enough food for 2 and still watch his best friend starve to death.
It’s never Loumandover for me, because they are my parents and im delusional! Next please!