i am harboring a great sadness!

20 / he/him

[odaat3]

about me!

helloooo this is my mental illness sideblog xP

i will disappear for a while sometimes

started t nov 2024

tw weight tracking below the cut

height: 5’6”

sw: 207

cw: ???

lw: 146

gw1: 200!

gw2: 195

gw3: 190

gw4: 185

gw5: 180!

gw6: 170

gw9: 160

gw10: 155

gw11: 150

gw12: 145

ugw: 140

please message if you want to be friends!

[odaat3]

hey team! i’ve gained 20lbs! i can’t stop thinking about it! i feel it constantly! ive gotten so much bigger it is deeply upsetting!

[odaat3]

chat i have found ,my scale!!!!!!!!!! unfortunately ,, i am unhappy with the consequences of my actions..

[odaat3]

hey gang i am back again xP i moved like three weeks ago and still cant find my scale and i feel like ive been eating so much im so worried ugghhhh im praying im under 145 god bless hashtag jesus

[odaat3]

WAAHH I CAN’T STOP FUCKING EATING ASRRGDDEFVMUEFUJEWEF

[odaat3]

leaving the function early is so embarrassing like sorry i gotta go i have to binge eat in my room

[odaat3]

*bashes head against wall* *bashes head against wall* *bashes head against wall* *bashes head against wall* *bashes head against wall* *bashes head against wall* *bashes head against wall* *bashes head against wall* *bashes head

[odaat3]

UGH i feel so stuck right now. even though i worked on it with three health providers literally thursday i haven’t done anything.

wtm

die

suffer

Voting ended onMar 31, 2025

[odaat3]

do u guys have a limit of how far you can go over ur cal budget. is 30 too many??

[odaat3]

AAURHRHDBRBRGRGH IM SO UPSET

[odaat3]

i think i’m doing relatively okay w a cal deficit but im not moving enough cuz my schedule is so busy arghh

[diary-of-losing-it]

Things I do instead of eating...

Sleep

Listen to music

Organize closet

Drawing

Play with pets

Go for a walk / jog

Skin care routine

Paint nails

Vaccum

Dishes

Create Pinterest board

Read

Yoga

Puzzles

Journal

Learn a new skill

Crochet

Origami

Brush my hair, try new hairstyles

Try learning a new language

Go to the library

Sudoku

Make jewelry

Play video games

[n3bula-xr999]

♡♡♡

[odaat3]

oh anyway i got some of the store brand halo top and it’s really good! and some low cal foods n snacks AMD i flossed mouthwashed AND brushed . so basically cutting was free tn yippee

[odaat3]

HE STILL HASNT SAID ANYTHING and had to see them i took the bandage off and washed and let it air dry this morning but got distracted and forgot to put another one on and then i went straight to his when i got home and there’s no way he couldn’t have felt them at least because he always grabs my hips/thighs hhhgfdryhngdsafu but i found out that both of my knives are much duller than i thought so i must venture to get regular blades

[odaat3]

wah idk if he saw/felt the bandages on me he hasn’t said anything about it

[odaat3]

“officially” relapsed 😋 (cut where i wanted to)

[llosetheweight]