[haleyatwell]

THE STEPFORD WIVES (2004) dir. Frank Oz

[ode-to-meee]

I get the whole thing about not taking advice from people who don't have what you want and I agree with it to an extent but I also think you should be wary of taking advice from people who have never had to work for what you want or who because of one thing or another clearly have an easier path than you. obviously there's nuance here but it rings true, at least to me. this whole pull yourself up by your bootstraps culture has gone so far as to pretend that someone who was put on a pipeline for success and someone who was set up to fail can both easily arrive at the same destination and its simply not true. mind you it is perfectly possible to for the person set up for failure to easily outperform someone set up for success but there is still something to be said of someone who has no obstacles being able to get to where they want to go quickly and quite frankly it is very easy for people like that to underestimate what it takes and then give out advice that does little to nothing for someone who isn't in those shoes. if you're poor and trying to be wealthy you should only take advice from self-made millionaires not because nepo babies aren't financially literate but because they'll never know what its like to actually be in poverty or how to escape it, the same way someone who grew up in a almond household wouldn't know how to go from living like amberlynn reid to living well and healthy.

[loveletters2myself]

[ode-to-meee]

you need to be doing all you can to gain and maintain motion. bring your levels up no matter what you do or where you are. volunteer, go to community college, get a membership, join a sorority, take the trip, start the degree. make sure some aspect of your life is proceeding along well, if you feel career stagnant then work on your appearance, if you feel academically stagnant then work or volunteer, take what every interesting experiences you can and make the rest and whatever you do, do not stop moving.

[ode-to-meee]

if you're not white and you have ambitions of moving up in the world and changing your lifestyle I would genuinely recommend that you focus on making connections with successful members of your own community before trying to enter others . This is especially true if you have no experience with diverse groups of people and you haven't acclimated to cultures different from yours.

It is insane to genuinely think that an african american working class woman who has never interacted with anyone but other african american working class people can immediately make her way into circles filled with rich white people who have been surrounded by people exactly like them their entire lives with no culture shock on either side. this also doesn't just apply to black people but any kind of minority.

If you're black and see yourself in a different kind of life you should be focused on making friends with the "oak bluffs every summer, mom is an AKA and she dragged me to jack and jill every chance she got" types first before you go trying to be an old money trophy wife or whatever.

its different when you have to cultural capital, or you grew up in the suburbs or in more diverse environments or you're naturally someone who doesn't embody certain stereotypes but if that's not you work on working your way up within your own culture and community, thats how it works.

[bigmouthbuffalo]

[trailerheaven]

two headed calf filet crochet doily (chart, border) - my work (learn filet crochet)