I DONT HAVE ANY FUCKING MONEY

My New Years resolution is to delete this blog

[ambidisastrous]

People who work within a system: okay so studies show that the normal system works 90% of the time, but because it’s very bad when it doesn’t work, we’ve set up a process to manage those outliers. We need six well-trained workers to run the system 100% of the time without any serious incidents.

CEOs and politicians, every time: Well i just saw it go right twice in a row which means the normal system which you say works 90% of the time actually works 100% of the time. We’re cutting the team down to one person pulling 18 hour shifts without breaks

[deervsheadlights]

[pipshinwhatever]

what they dont tell you about strategy based games is that its hard if you’re stupid

[peachfromcmbyn]

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

[nixpunk]

[the-technicolor-whiscash]

Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

[whumpster-fire]

Now in handy infographic form for Tumblr users:

[verygoodcomments]

[mini-wrants]

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

[rubyvroom]

[rubyvroom]

Yeah, it's time to get this post out again

[mtsodie]

genuinely so obsessed with this twitter post

[evilnermal]

there was another update

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

couldn't find a thread with both the followups together

Not on purpose!

[yorgen-sh]

[utopians]

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

[markadoo]

one time at boarding school the woman from the office was taking some prospective-customer parents on a tour and came into our classroom and asked me in particular what i thought of the school. and i said i more or less liked it but also that i know she picked me because im literally the only one here who likes it. so i'd like to give the floor to the other students. and everyone started shouting about how terrible a place it is.

[gaylor-moon]

[grippy3000]

fun fact one of the world champions in pepper-eating contests is a trans woman and she actually faced significant backlash because people somehow thought she had a biological advantage. to eating spicy pepper

[grippy3000]

update bc i went back and checked: her name is brianna “the chilli queen” skinner and she set a record in 2017 by slamming back 23 carolina reapers consecutively. she only stopped when told to by the referees, and the next year she stepped down out of boredom. queen

[pettyartist]

Here's a picture of her, by the way

And her super supportive wife

[nentuaby]

The championship, it should be noted, is unisex. Apparently being a trans woman gives you an innate biological advantage over both cis men and cis women.

[vexwerewolf]

The innate biological advantage of being cool as fuck

[criminalmindsverse]

CRIMINAL MINDS 2.21 — "Open Season"

[knitmeapony]

Yes yes yes this scene thank you for the tag, heehehehe

[kalindashepard]

It’s funny because this scene must be based on the memoir Special Agent by Candis DeLong. In it she describes being out looking at clothes at a department store on lunch break with another female agent and overhearing a conversation between a man and a woman in which he says he’s an FBI agent. They peer around some clothes racks thinking that they’re going to see one of their fellow agents trying to get a date, and when they don’t recognize the guy they go over and pretend to be interested in the big strong FBI agent themselves and ask to see his badge. The guy actually pulled out a fake badge, whereupon they said “Huh, that doesn’t look anything like ours…”, produced their own badges and arrested him for impersonating an FBI agent. (I remember this bit from a 25 year old book because I actually stole it myself for a fic)

[knitmeapony]

Exquisite. Glorious. 10/10 thank you for sharing.

[amrv-5]

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

[daysleftofsecondterm]

My main account got @-ed on this scam (no I won't say which one), and it occurred to me that some of the people here might not realize this is a scam.

It is. Do not click any mystery links. DO NOT give them any personal information. And DO NOT respond to messages like this.

[beardedmrbean]

thankfully most of us would rather see this place burn to the ground than hand over more information to staff so this kind of thing isn't going to do any good

[daysleftofsecondterm]

I know, but considering the chaos the gaza bots caused (and are still causing) I figured it’d be best to say this out loud early on

[sugar-petals]

hot take in a roundabout way i think that's also why so many of us opt out of becoming parents ourselves