I whipped up a quick PSA regarding the relationship between smell and food for the Congenital Anosmic community. Its astonishing how many people get this small distinction mixed up!
Find a larger version here
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@odourlessreality
I whipped up a quick PSA regarding the relationship between smell and food for the Congenital Anosmic community. Its astonishing how many people get this small distinction mixed up!
Find a larger version here
Like my work? Find more at my portfolio!
Sodium Citrate Study
So I've kept this one pretty quiet, but I'm taking part in a medical trial tomorrow. This isn't one of those ones where they give you a mystery drug and you stay overnight and the pay you lots of money; in fact, I'm not getting paid at all, but it should be worth it as it could possibly give me the opportunity to smell for about half an hour. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but if you think about how long a meal lasts for... I would be able to taste the whole of that meal. Properly. I could taste my graduation celebration dinner, or Christmas! It's properly exciting.
Basically, I go along and they do a blind smell test with four base smells, which I'm assuming will include rose, menthol, some strong chemical and vinegar. Then I get a nice nasal douching with either a 9% sodium citrate solution, or sterile water. Obviously. getting the actual thing would be best rather than the placebo, but I know all too well just how effective psychology can be. I believed I really could smell after my surgery, even thought it turned out that there had been no real improvement whatsoever.
Through a complete co-incidence it turns out that the study is actually being conducted through my university, which makes me feel very proud to be going to uniofeastanglia right now. They reported that "previous research has suggested that sodium citrate improves hyposmia by decreasing mucus calcium levels in the nose". Even if it doesn't necessarily work for me, even if I get given the water.. I feel happy to know that I am doing something to help the research into treating and managing those with anosmia, or hyposmia.
I am not getting my hopes up that it will definitely work. I've been down that path before and it just made it worse when it didn't. But it would be really cool if it did.
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Hooray! Everything has now finally been transferred from my old blog onto this one. I'm busy with university finals, but over the next few weeks I'll get a decent theme and all the rest. Please pass this blog on, just because it doesn't maybe look very pretty at the moment, doesn't mean the content isn't good.
Me after surgery to rectify my deviated septum and hopefully cure my anosmia.
Okay, I know I'm not even half way transferred from my blogger and the theme is rubbish and I don't even have an icon yet, but I'm sleepy and have to be up early tomorrow.
Sweet scentless dreams everyone x
Home Alone
For the first time in my life, I have been left alone and in charge of an actual proper house for two weeks. I like to think that being a responsible 'grown up' isn't something that I'm new too, having lived away from my parents for most of four years, but I've generally lived with people. Being by myself really doesn't bother me, and I've actually quite enjoyed the freedom of having my own place; it's reassuring to know that I could manage my own flat in London somewhere in the not so distant future. However, it has made me more aware than usual of my anosmia. I think living alone when you don't have a sense of smell is actually pretty terrifying, especially when you've grown up with it like have, as you have no idea what stuff is supposed to smell like to know if it's okay. Normally, I would ask my housemates to smell food that was out of date (just to make sure), or I rely on their reactions if anything around the house smells bad. I've also been doing a lot of physical exercise every day (as I'm doing a stage combat course) which has meant a definite increase in showers and washing clothes, just in case. I'm suddenly very paranoid about the fact that we have a gas cooker, especially as the other day I tried to light it and nothing visible happened (it turned out that actually we'd run out of gas money, but nevermind).
A lot of things seem might seem fairly trivial to the working noses out there, and I'm sure they are to a lot of people. However, these are things that I'm constantly having to be aware of and will always have to be for the rest of my life. Which is a bit rubbish, really. I'd quite like to be able to relax when I'm cooking or opening my fridge door; or to be able to smell the flowers I bought for my little student room to cheer it up a bit. I don't mean to moan, and I'm desperately trying not to sound like I'm complaining, because I'm not. I've resigned myself to it now. As ever, I just want to raise awareness and understanding for what life is like for someone like me.
Whilst you're here, I'd also like to direct your attention in the direction of Olfaction Collective. They are aiming to use art to create awareness of anosmia, by collaborating with artists and sufferers alike, and try to make it much less of an invisible disability. A few weeks ago I met a brilliant young woman who is a design student at Central St Martins, who is doing her final piece on anosmia. She sent me a questionnaire to fill out about what my life is like with anosmia and how I would describe it, as well as some more creative tasks, that were very therapeutic to complete. I'm very excited to see the final piece and hope that it has some impact on our cause!
Statistically Speaking
I went to London today and for the first time in my life, met other anosmics. It was a bit weird really, because not having a sense of smell doesn't leave any visible mark on its sufferers, so it was fun trying to guess who was anosmic and who was moral support. It was a pretty inspiring evening, listening to other peoples experiences and how they cope with the lack of odour in their life.
I spoke to one woman who is pretty much the pioneer of smell training, which, as I've mentioned before is the process of smelling different essential oils every day in order to reawaken the olfactory nerve. I have some more information from her that I'm going to read through properly later, but the thing I found most interesting is that she recorded her findings, so she could make a chart of her progress (or lack of). I think that this is something that I might start doing as it might make the whole thing seem more productive rather than disheartening. I know that my last blog post was pretty sad and angry, but now I've had a bit more time to come to terms with it, I think I'm ready to start being proactive about it again.
There was another woman who had lost her sense of smell in an ice skating accident; shed fallen on her backside and then the back of her head. Her partner assumed that it was rapid movement that had been the trigger; an MRI scan proved that it was in fact nerve damage. Another lady described herself as 'in remission'. Her sense of smell had gradually faded and now it was gradual coming back. She didn't want to be too excited about it however, as she said that she wasn't sure if it could just go again. Also, she didn't want to feel like she was being unsupportive of other anosmics.
This last point kind of struck a chord with me, and it's s pretty big and important one. You don't have to be a sufferer of anosmia personally to support those who are. My parents have been a great help and positive influence in my personal struggle and neither of them have it. This is the attitude that I would like to change. Something that came up quite a lot over the course of the evening was the fact that if it was a disability that could be seen, then there would be a lot more sympathy and a lot more being done about it. Raising awareness of anosmia is a real challenge, because the people that have it just look like everybody else. They don't have hearing aids, or dark glasses, or walk with a limp. Perhaps if you were to cut off all our noses (because why not? They don't do anything for us anymore) then we would have the sympathy and the research that we deserve. Here are some statistics from a surgery conducted in December 2013;
There are 3.25 million anosmics in the UK.
60% of anosmics feel alone or isolated because of their disability
45% suffer from depression
55% have difficulty with relationships with family/friends/partners
94% no longer appreciate food
How is this okay?
Please, spread the word. Just bring anosmia up one day as a fun discussion to have with your friends and family. Think about the impact not having a sense of smell would have on your life. Spend a day with a clothes peg on your nose to understand what we go through on a daily business. Don't remember people or places. Eat cardboard. Accidentally drink gone off milk. Anosmia isn't even in the Microsoft dictionary. Get angry, get upset, get confused. Just whatever you do, please do not write this off as a minor thing that some people are vaguely complaining about. Anosmia is a condition and a disability the same way that anything else you can think of is. I'm sorry that you haven't been made aware of it from an early age like you were other things, but believe me, I am too am very aware of how inexperienced the medial profession are when it comes to this. I just don't understand how can you ignore something that, despite being an issue within itself, is such a large trigger for so many other recognised problems.
"Sometimes a thing gets broke, can't be fixed..."
I think I was a little bit wary about writing this post. I was worried that it would come across as too self-indulgent and miserable. But then I remembered that the point of this blog is to share my experiences of being anosmic. So that is exactly what I am going to do. What I would like you to do, for the purposes of this post, is to forget that you know me (if you do). I want you to think of me as just some stranger on the internet whose story you are reading. I don't want you to judge me or think that I'm trying to get sympathy from the people in my life. I just want you to understand what someone, anyone, feels like when they are told that they can never smell again.
Yesterday I had my final check in with Mr Philpott, just to see if maybe the surgery was taking a while to work. It was the same old smell tests, the same old endoscopy and what is now becoming the same old story of being told that there has been no improvement. If there was going to be any, it would have happened now. So that's pretty much it. During the first round of smell tests (think marker pens) there was possibly some improvement in sensation (the back of my nose tingled) but nothing so substantial as to give Mr Philpott much hope to my future. He suggested that it was probably not worth my while to see him again as he couldn't think of anything else that would help me. I thanked him for all of the time and effort he has given not to just to me, but to so many other anosmics in the country.
I know technologies may improve in the future and I know that I should think positive that at least I tried. But somehow that doesn't really make me feel any better. Fine, there might be better treatments in the future, but why should they work for me? Why should they work at all? It's taken us this long in the 21st century to even get this far. And trying to remain positive after my first set of smell tests after my surgery has only made this news that much more heartbreaking to hear. Don't tell me it's going to get better, because that isn't going to help. It might do if there was more than one doctor in the country working on it, but there isn't. This is the reality of the situation; I will never be able to smell.
It shouldn't make a difference, I know that. I've gone this far in my life without having a sense of smell, why should I be so upset that the rest of my life is going to be the same? I guess it's because last year has been such an emotional roller coaster. And there was that moment, that one brilliant shining moment, where I thought that maybe, just maybe, it would all be okay. Anyone who knows me knows that it is not in my nature to not try and find the best of a situation; I am a very positive person. But right now, I'm finding it really difficult. I think my mum described it best by saying that it's a grieving process. And I suppose really I am mourning for the things in my life that I have missed, will continue to miss and will never know to miss. A key part of my body does not work and it can't be fixed. It is not too dramatic to say that I am disabled, because in all actuality that is exactly what it is, no matter how over the top you think it is to say so. I would just like re-iterate the impact that being anosmic has on your memories, your relationships and your sense of taste. You can rubbish that all you like but it's been scientifically proven; if you would like further information on how it affects all of these things then please see previous blog posts. I bet you anything that if it was an impairment that could be seen, then there would be a lot more understanding and recognition of it. My nose has purely become an aesthetic. Fine, I can breathe through it, but I can also do that through my mouth just fine thanks and I don't miss out on anything doing so.
I honestly don't want any sympathy for this. I am sad, but more than anything I am angry and I am frustrated. I'm sorry if this post has come across as being negative and passive-aggressive, but I have had too many conversations lately with people who just don't get it. And I know that's not everyone and it's not even the majority, but it still makes my stomach get all knotted, especially when it's people close to me. That's why I wanted you to try and forget who wrote this. All I want is for people to understand what a huge deal this is for me (a stranger on the internet) and for so many others like me. That's all.
Annual Update
I've been running this blog for just over a year now and although it maybe hasn't made any lasting impact on anyone's life, it certainly has helped. I know that is has made a difference to some people's understanding of anosmia and it's given me a constructive way to share my frustrations. A lot has happened in the past year with regards to my own knowledge of this disability as well as how it effects other people.I know that perhaps it hasn't been the most successful year for me in terms of any medical improvement but I definitely do feel that a lot of emotional progress has been made. This time last year I didn't even know the cause of my anosmia, let alone if anything could be done to try and fix it. Now I know why and have had one attempt to bring my sense of smell back. Although it was unsuccessful, I think it's important to definitely see it as a step in the right direction and a very progressive year. I'm beginning to fully understand the impact that it's had on my life up until this point and how it's going to affect things in the future, but also I think I'm beginning to make my peace with it. Of course it has it's days where you forget about it almost entirely and then it has it's days where it's the most frustrating and upsetting thing in the world. But I think that it's okay for me to be sad about the fact that I can't smell and to get annoyed when other people take it for granted; so long as it's not all the time. After all, it's a natural reaction when something doesn't work right, especially when it's your own body.
I have another appointment with Mr Philpott in three weeks for a third round of smell testing, just to make sure that the surgery isn't simply taking it's time to make any difference. I've been trying to do my smell training daily, however it's becoming increasingly frustrating. I cannot tell the difference between any of the essential oils I'm using, which range from peppermint to magnolia. Sometimes I can tell if there is a smell apparent, but I've realised that this is only when I'm focusing entirely on what I'm doing. The times when I've done the smell training in front of the television, I haven't even noticed when I've got the bottle right under my nose. It seems to be coming more and more obvious just how much of it is psychological.
Christmas!
I'm a member of various groups on Facebook that I suppose act as a sort of support network for anosmics worldwide and for the past few weeks they have been full of messages of fear and sadness. You'd be amazed at the amount of people that can't smell that worry about poisoning all of their family and friends with their Christmas dinner. It's not as silly as it sounds, really. Anosmics can't smell when food is burning or if it's gone off and quite often our sense of taste is impaired as well, so we can't try the food before we serve it to our loved ones. Similarly, many can't then taste the result of having spent the majority of the day slaving over a hot stove (hopefully an electric one to minimise the risk of an undetectable gas leak).
What about that idyllic image of sitting in front of an open fireplace, whilst the weather outside is frightful? What's more frightening to an anosmic is the possibility that the fire hasn't completely gone out by the time they go to bed, the smoke detector might be faulty and due to being unable to smell everything burning, they don't realise until the house has gone up in flames.
By the way, I don't want to boast, but not only can I not smell Christmas trees, but I also can't touch them because I'm allergic. My life is terrible.
Don't get me wrong though, I love Christmas and I'm sure many other anosmics do too. Not being able to smell it doesn't take away from the main joys of opening presents, being with your family and it being acceptable to start drinking alcohol at ten in the morning. However, it does also make it quite a stressful time for a variety of reasons. I know that there are obviously much worse people off during this period, I just wanted to write about some of the stuff that affects me and hundreds like me that other people may not have thought about.
Although, just because I might not be able to taste Christmas dinner fully still does not mean I will eat brussel sprouts.
November Blues
It's kind of weird how since being told that all my improvements in smelling were purely psychological, they've stopped. My life has completely reverted back to what it was before the surgery, only now I've just sort of stopped trying to worry about it. I don't want to say that I've given up, but probably more just that I'm pausing. I've given it one shot at trying to sort it out and that didn't work, so maybe now it's time to just rest a while with the knowledge that I am still completely anosmic. It was pretty emotionally draining and I don't really feel like going through it all again. Especially with Christmas coming up.
I was so looking forward to the possibility of being able to smell Christmas this year. I know it's still only November and too early to be thinking about that time of year but tough. As far as I'm concerned, Christmas is the only good thing about winter. The rest of it is cold and dark and miserable. I know there are much more important aspects to care about, but it's just one of those things that I was really looking forward to. But I suppose really I was just silly for getting my hopes up.
Mr Philpott is seeing me again in February to see if there continues to be little improvement after surgery. You never know, it could just be that it's a really slow recovery process! Which would be pretty weird, actually. Maybe I'll be learning to smell without actually realising it? Although having said that I've been surrounded by paint and wood stainer all weekend and haven't had a single whiff so maybe not. I must remember to keep up with my smell training, but I have to admit that I have lost heart somewhat.
On a much more positive note, the responses that I've had for my young people's anosmia project have been amazing. I've sent an email with all of them in earlier this weekend, so hopefully I'll get a reply soon with an update of when they'll be available on the Fifth Sense website. There have been so many messages telling you not to worry, to learn to embrace the weirdness and realise that you have something special and unique about you. I think sometimes I lose sight of that because I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself and thinking of anosmia only as a disability. But I suppose also it's a part of my identity, and there is a community that goes with that too. I just wish it was more easily accessible, that I had friends that I could turn to and talk about it too whenever I needed to. But I suppose really, that's actually what I'm trying to create. I really hope it works.
4 Points / 100% Anosmic
I went back to see Mr Philpott at the Spire hospital yesterday to have another smell test. This was exactly the same as the one that I had at my initial appointment with him to gauge the full extent of my anosmia; a number of 'sniffin' sticks' done blindfolded and a few with a visual stimulus to see if that could prompt any olfactory reaction. I thought I did rather well at this bit and there were many that I answered confidently. It was interesting to note that half of the images I was told the smell could be I have no memory of smelling, so a lot of it was done by me assuming that the smell would be similar to the taste. These images included various fruits, honey, wood, leather, smoke, wine etc.
I then had another nasal endoscopy to have a look at the inside of my nose to see if everything had healed well from the surgery; which it has done! Mr Philpott then discussed the results of my smell test with me. I had improved by four points since before the surgery. Which is nothing, basically. Especially as three of those were fluke; I had simply managed to match the smell to the right image accidentally. The only one I got right was peppermint. This means that I am still what they would call 100% anosmic. I needed eight more points in order to move into the next category which is 'diminished sense of smell'.
Mr Philpott said that there was nothing more that they could do for me. He would be interested to see me in another three months from a purely academic point of view, to see why the surgery hadn't worked, which I think I will do. Because quite honestly, I would quite like to know too.
I don't really want to go into how obviously disappointing this is for me. I will keep at my smell training with the essential oils and I keep an eye on any medical advances that are made in the anosmia field in the future, just in case another alternative presents itself. I know I said before that I thought I could smell sometimes and even though that turns out to now be purely just psychological and not real, it's better than nothing at all.
Under 25 and anosmic?
I know I've already posted this on my main blog, but I thought I'd include it here, seeing as though so many people on tumblr messaged me with their stories.
This one's kind of a big deal, so I wanted to give it a post all to itself. As I'm sure I've mentioned before, there is a website called Fifth Sense, which is a site dedicated to anosmia and anosmic support.
The one thing that I always felt was missing from it, was advice aimed specifically at young people. Even on the anosmia page on Facebook, the youngest person I have ever come across, apart from myself, was 34. This may not seem like much of a big deal, but the concerns that are shared are those to do with burning down their house, or what their spouse thinks of them, or their children. These are issues that are way above the head of someone under the age of 25 who is also suffering from anosmia. They are having to deal with the constant teasing from their friends, who cannot take it seriously or understand what a big deal it is. In a time where all you want to do is fit in, you are already feeling so completely isolated from the world around you that it just makes it really, really tough.
So I decided that I was going to change this, and I was going to create a support network for anosmics under the age of 25. I emailed Duncan Boak, the man that runs Fifth Sense for advise and after some discussion, he offered me a subsection of the Fifth Sense website itself to do this. This is better than I ever could have hoped for, especially as Fifth Sense itself is continuing to grow and aiming to become an internationally recognised charity, the groundwork has already been done for me. I am spearheading an international support group for young anosmics.
I have been posting on Facebook, on twitter, on tumblr... anywhere I can think of to ask young people with anosmia to come forward and tell me their stories and any advice they wish they had been given, or that they feel that they could give to other young anosmics. I have already had so many replies from all over the world, and it is incredible. We are not alone. There are people out there who are going through exactly the same thing as each other and I want them to know that, to know that they have the support of so many others just like themselves.
So please. If you, or anyone you know is under 25 and ansomic please get them to message me so I can include their stories on the Fifth Sense website where it can help so many others.
I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to post. I've been unbelievably busy, so I'll try and update you in everything that has happened and I will try and keep it short.
So... the plastic splints! They ended up looking something like this, and ended up reaching right to the back of my nose) and were basically horrific.
There was no magic moment in regaining my smell, once they were out, more just relief that I could wiggle my nose again. I could then also stick a finger up it and prod around my septum so I could figure out exactly what the damage was. And basically, I had a massive chunk taken out of it. If you could see up my nose you would be able to see the most impressive scarring ever, but luckily you can't and so it's impossible to tell that I ever had surgery!
And now, 3 months later? Well, there has been some improvement! Which is pretty amazing actually. It will be a very gradual process, and I have an appointment next Thursday to go back and see Mr Philpott to have another smell test so we can gauge exactly what improvement there has been. Smell is weird, because I still have no idea how much of it is psychological. So I don't know if I am starting to smell things, or if I'm just thinking that I can because I know I should be. I'm doing smell training every day, which involves smelling different essential oils, and some days I can name them, and some days I can't. But most days I can actually detect when there is a smell under my nose, which I could never even dream of doing before.
I had giant plastic things sewn into my nose
Firstly, I would just like to say thank you to everyone for your kind messages of support and wishes of luck for my surgery last Friday. I was overwhelmed by the response from both friends and strangers and I am so grateful to you all. I would also like to extend my thanks to Spire Hospital and to Mr Carl Philpott for looking after me so well.
Although it is too early to tell if the surgery has been a success in terms if any anosmia improvement, there were no complications during theatre and I am making a great recovery. I am now able to take minimal painkillers and go without a lovely moustache-esque bandage under my nose. I am able to breathe through it, although I do have two large plastic splints inside each nostril holding my nose apart so I am not able to breathe quite as clearly as I would like to be able to. These are also proving quite annoying and I frequently wake up in the middle of the night wanting to tear them out, but I am seeing Mr Philpott on Friday where these will be removed.
Surgery!
So tomorrow, on July 26th, I will be having surgery that may hopefully cure my anosmia. The actual procedure is called 'endoscopic septoplasty and restoration of olfactory clefts'. I think it basically means that they make holes in the cartilage in my nose to allow air (and smells) to reach my olfactory nerve.
I'm being really very good at not getting my hopes up that this will be the end of my anosmia and I will wake up able to miraculously smell again. I think that's mostly because I'm too busy being nervous about the procedure to actually give any serious thought as to what happens afterwards. I've been reading a lot about having to 'retrain my brain' as I haven't used that part of it for so long. It's all a bit bizarre, to be honest, but I'm not going to worry about it until tomorrow.
I think it's definitely fair to say that I'm having mixed feelings about the procedure. I've never had surgery or general anesthetic before in my life and I don't know if it's because it's do do with my face but I'm mostly feeling incredibly anxious. I don't think it's the procedure that's worrying me (although I have been very careful to not find out too much about what that actually involves) but more not knowing exactly what it is I'll be waking up to. I've been warned that I will be in a lot of pain, as well as feeling incredibly nauseous as it's obviously going to effect my sinuses. I'm expecting to have a couple of brilliant black eyes and a sore throat as well, as they have to stick a tube into my windpipe to ensure I can still breathe during surgery. I have moments where I panic and try to convince myself that it's not worth the discomfort and the money and this whole thing is really quite un-necessary, especially as I've now been anosmic for so long. But then I read how other people without a sense of smell also had surgery and it was 'the best decision' of their lives. What's a few weeks discomfort and 48 hours of nerves beforehand compared to getting my life back?
I don't want to go into how incredible it would be to be able to smell, just in case the surgery doesn't work, but after all, that is the reason for doing this. I won't be sad to see my anosmia go, although it has somehow (weirdly) actually become quite a big part of who I am. I've had to do more research on it than a lot of the doctors I've seen and I've had to cope with the massive frustrations that come with it. I've comes to terms with the fact that since I was at least 10 years old, I was and am always going to be completely alienated from my surroundings. Which is a pretty horrible thing to learn so young. I'm nearly 21 now and it's still an awful thing to deal with.
If I do get my sense of smell back I want to smell freshly baked bread and my mum's perfume and my boyfriend's shirt. I want to smell freshly mowed grass and petrol and how you know when it's going to rain. I want to travel back to all of the places I've been to in the last decade just to see what they smell like and form brilliant, vivid, actual memories that I can clearly hold on to. I want to smell my own shampoo.
Wish me luck!
The Smell of Success
Wow. I don't even know where to begin with this one. Today I finally had my consultation with Carl Philpott at Spire Hospital. I purposefully made an effort not to get my hopes up for anything to happen, or have any expectations really. In my mind, I had decided that I would turn up, agree that I was anosmic and then plans would be made for me to come back in a few weeks time for some more in depth tests to establish a course of action.
Instead, within an hour of me being there, I was told the cause of my anosmia and also what could be done to treat it.
I'm still struggling to absorb this information.
Carl Philpott is a beacon of hope for all of those without a sense of smell. So many doctors have no idea about anosmia or the effects that it has on those suffering from it. Within minutes of me turning up for my appointment I was given a questionnaire that didn't just ask the basic questions like how long I had been unable to smell, but also how I felt I was coping with it and did I ever feel ostracized for it. I immediately felt such a sense of relief that here was a medical professional who completely understood what my life was and how serious this disability is.
I had the most intense blind smell test I think is possible to create; over 60 different smells were placed under my nose. By the about the 40th time I had said 'nothing' I have to admit that I began to give up hope. My anosmia was so blindingly apparent surely there was nothing that could be done about it. Next followed another nasal endoscopy (basically a camera stuck up my nose) which revealed that my left nasal cavity was considerably smaller and narrower than it should be, although this alone was not enough to explain why I don't have a sense of smell. After these tests, Mr Philpott recommended that I should be put forward for an MRI, bloodwork and possibly a CT scan. At this point I explain that I've already had a CT scan from Salisbury District Hospital.
Within 30 seconds of looking at this image, he finds the cause of my anosmia.
It's literally just the way my nose has grown. The inner cartilage has expanded to cut off the air from my nasal cavities reaching my brain; meaning that my olfactory nerve is getting no signals of smell to process. This also explains why I never really realised becoming anosmic, as it just sort of happened as I grew. And it can easily be solved by surgery to widen the gap, meaning that the air from my nose reaches my brain so it can recognise smells.
So now I'm just waiting to get a date for this surgery and that's hopefully it. Blimey.