I'm Odysseus (100% Real Not Clickbait)

Odysseus of Ithaca Trust Run by @louisthiccsexyglitteryass

[big-wooden-horse]

How did Odysseus get the wood for this without the Trojans noticing?? I’m so confused…..

I asked the guy and he said that he’s “a man of many ways” which is both terrifying and unhelpful

[odysseusbigdick]

Wood 👍

[big-wooden-horse]

Hey, Odysseus, if you die can I marry your wife?

Passed the message on to the man himself and he threatened to rip my tongue out and feed it to the dogs so they may amuse his son with my foolish words… so I’m gonna say that’s a no

[odysseusbigdick]

It's a no :(

[big-wooden-horse]

Odysseus winning a race because a goddess tripped his opponents is cheating.

Oh man wait until you hear what happened to big ajax…..

[odysseusbigdick]

I WON BY MY OWN MERIT

[big-wooden-horse]

does anyone have any oil

I would ask why but I think we all know the answer

[waxwingwhore]

well do you have any

[big-wooden-horse]

No but I know for a fact that that whore diomedes does

[odysseusbigdick]

Diomedes does?

[odysseusbigdick]

if you are a lair,,,, does that mean the username is a lie and,,,,, odysseus actually small penis?!?!?!

I am not a liar! My cock is huge. Just ask your mother.

[waxwingwhore]

you are known for lying??? your penis is small.

[odysseusbigdick]

My penis is literally the biggest penis in Ithaca. I measured.

[odysseusbigdick]

if you are a lair,,,, does that mean the username is a lie and,,,,, odysseus actually small penis?!?!?!

I am not a liar! My cock is huge. Just ask your mother.

[big-wooden-horse]

(loudly, from outside the horse) I don’t trust this gift, WHAT IF THE GREEKS ARE INSIDE?

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP I THINK THEY HEAR US

[odysseusbigdick]

i blame nestor

[big-wooden-horse]

Someone hold down Odysseus and Agamemnon, I don’t think they’re handling Helen’s trick well.

It’s not your wife! It’s Helen tricking us!

Nahhhhh pretty sure it’s my wife, but an order is an order and I gotta stay here

[odysseusbigdick]

it's her............

[big-wooden-horse]

It’s so dark in here but I am 90% sure that agamemnon and odysseus are frotting in the corner

[odysseusbigdick]

LIES AND SLANDER I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN

[odysseusbigdick]

it's dark outside, that means the sun is not in the sky, instead it is Lady Selene

[hellionsheart]

damn if only there was a word for it

[odysseusbigdick]

It is I!

[odysseusbigdick]

In the darkest, deepest corners of the ocean, not much can survive. The pressure is crushing, and the lack of light and oxygen makes survival extremely difficult.

...okay???? Thank you???

Who is this...

[odysseusbigdick]

i miss my wife... everything reminds me of her... like the clothes peg i just saw...

[odysseusbigdick]

Hope you sail off into the distance and don't come back

telemachus is this you

[odysseusbigdick]

Hope you get trampled by a stampede of horses

i almost did saving patroclus...

[odysseusbigdick]

I hope you drown

Who is this??? Show yourself!

[big-wooden-horse]

Odysseus, why did you insist on giving the horse a barbaric horse shlong? What if the Trojans set it on fire?

Look, I tried asking the guy and all he said was “I am a many of many ways” whatever the fuck that means. Personally I think he’s just into it

[odysseusbigdick]

I am NOT into it :(