[ofallthingsspicy]

this is goodbye

I wish I could stay. But I just flipped over to check this account last night, and started crying. That’s kind of a sign.

Thanks to all of you for the time I had here. I did have a good time, and there were good things. I’ll miss this.

To everyone I didn’t tag -- you’re great. I followed you because you are great. Don’t let anyone, even yourself, tell you different. If we got to write, and I didn’t tag you, I’m sorry, I’m still thinking of you. If we never got to write, well, I wish we had, it would have been amazing.

If I hurt you, in any way, through indifference, or careless words, or anything at all -- I’m sorry. It’s hard to be aware of the effect my words and actions have over the internet. Please know I never wanted to hurt anyone. I never meant it. That means little against the fact that you might have been hurt, but I am sorry.

Things happened last week that were a bit not good, and if you had to put up with my crazy over that, thank you for doing so. My only, pitiful, excuse is that my meds had gotten off-kilter, and I was underdosing badly without knowing.

I’m closing out this account. I won’t be logging into it again. If you wish to keep in touch with me, my sk*pe is naienko, and my other account, where I will be from now on, is @iamthefirechild. Please feel free to contact me there.

@iriswestisirisbest -- thanks for exploring a totally different ship than I’d ever looked at with me

@theoreticalguardianangel -- I’m so glad you came back. You do such a wonderful Barry, and thank you for pushing me to explore Linda and Barry’s friendship instead of their romance

@reverberations-ramon -- I’m sorry for bolting out on you like this. We’d just gotten started, and it was looking very interesting

@geneticiism -- you’ve been so patient with me when I got stuck, and it was so much fun to write Linda and Caitlin a little flirty and a lot friendly

@vpyourarsenal / @jax0falltrades -- keep on being sweet. I sincerely appreciate your advice and help. And our threads were awesome. I’m going to miss those sharp plots of yours

@crimsonscomet -- I don’t know where we were headed, but I’m sure it would have been great. Thanks for trying with me

@scarlxtspeedster -- bb, you are perf. You gave me the best Barry/Linda, and I loved it. Every minute. I’m going to learn Spanish so I can read your back threads.

@medicaitfrost, @ciscotoymakervibe -- I’m sorry to go right when we were getting to know each other. I know you’ll find other great partners in this fandom.

@icecoldsnart -- writing with you was awesome, and I loved the banter and snark. You do an amazing Len, please don’t stop.

@doctorfortheheroes / @oflaptopsandlattes -- you’re adorable and awesome and I wish I had made the effort to write with you instead of just chatting with you. Don’t give up. 

@origixalsin -- thank you for the fun, random threads that pulled me into another part of the fandom. I loved learning about Sin and doing crazy things with you.

@scarlctspeedster -- Abi, you’re amazing. I know you’ve struggling with Barry-muse, but good luck on any of your muses. You’re a great writer.

@thats-my-bad -- You have such a good handle on Cisco, his sweetness and snark and whole attitude. I’m sorry we won’t get to explore farther with these two.

@barryallenxflash -- I know you’ve been struggling. You’re wanted here, I know you are. So don’t stop. You do a great Barry, and I loved our threads a lot. 

@callme-speed -- I missed you. We had the best AU, I really loved it. I hope you’re doing well at school.

@backinaflcsh -- I tried to say I’m sorry, and I am. I always will be. I made a mistake, I made several mistakes, and I only wish now that I could tell you myself how sorry I am. We had a brilliant thing, and you are still the best Barry I’ve seen. Be well, Trevor.

@mrbarryallcn / @supcrgiirl -- Fabian, all I can say to you is the same I said to Trevor -- I’m sorry, I will always be sorry. I hurt you, and I was wrong. Your Kara is amazing, and our Barry/Linda was so much fun. I will miss it, and you.

@nothavepowers -- be well, Dulcie. keep being Patty for real, and keep writing her so brilliantly. thank you for listening to me be crazy and stupid, and thank you for the trioship, and the romance between Linda and Patty.

[ofallthingsspicy]

Pssst. Just a quick little message to tell you how wonderful you are and that you are loved. ❤️❤️❤️

You’re very sweet, nonnie. I wish I believed you. 

[iamthefirechild]

I see you. I know you check here; I’m an it professional and I put a tracker. I know it’s you.

What I don’t know is why. You want more of an apology? You want to watch me crack into little pieces and flee tumblr over this? Not happening. I gave you my honesty, and this kind of hovering over me in silence is an awful lot like stalking instead of the courtesy I asked for.

If you have something to say, say it. Don’t hang around looking for signs of something you haven’t earned the right to see.

[ofallthingsspicy]

All my life I've tried to make everybody happy While I just hurt and hide Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide

Sara Bareilles

[ofallthingsspicy]

You're not awful and needy. Jealousy happens to everyone. Don't think such things about yourself, you're loved. Truly.

That’s really sweet of you to say. I’m not in a place where I can believe you right now, especially since you’re on anon.

[ofallthingsspicy]

Still on mobile. Still no fucking internet. Still in pain.

[ofallthingsspicy]

I'm 35 years old, and I am supposed to be better than stupid jealousy at watching three people I like very much get on like a house afire But I'm not Linda and I can't do it so I need to just walk away for a while and pretend that it doesn't matter that I won't be missed. If I tell myself I'm okay long enough it will be true. I'm just so tired of standing on the outside knocking; I have to give myself a break before I hurt someone on my sharp edges. I'm sorry I'm such an awful needy jealous person. I'm sorry. I just wanted to be as important instead of the bottom of the list, and that's wrong.

[ofallthingsspicy]

I should not even be on here when I am being this irrational and emotional.

My internet is still out.

I might take an actual break for a day or two and see if I can get my head on straight about stuff. I have no right to be jealous over people or anything and

if I keep trying it’s all just going to spill out in text and I won’t care who I hurt ant that’s not okay so

yeah

[ofallthingsspicy]

@supcrgiirl

Okay, so Linda was really grateful to be able to accept a position at CatCo, with Cat Grant of all people – but it was. Not Central City. Where her life had been.

She didn’t actually want to move to National City. There were boxes everywhere in her apartment, and she didn’t have the energy to unpack them, to turn the apartment into a home. Especially not right now, because Ms Grant was not an easy boss to work for.

Fortunately, Ms Grant’s assistant was adorable and sweet and very good at smoothing over the rough edges, and hilariously oblivious to how many of their co-workers followed her around the room with their eyes. Linda perched on the edge of Kara’s desk with two cups of coffee one day, holding one cup out to the blonde.

“So, how long are you going to leave that poor cute IT guy to pine after you?”

[savedsuperman-blog]

There was someone new every now and again and Kara had taken it upon herself to welcome the newest member of Catco, Linda seemed nice enough. She wasn’t out to steal Kara’s job or stomp on her with a high school mean girl type of attitude.  A smile erupted on Kara’s features as she was offered a cup of coffee. “Thank you, Linda.” She smiled warmly as she held the cup in both hands, taking in the warmth. It was a good thing that she hadn’t taken a drink just yet, because there would have been coffee sprayed everywhere. “Winn?” She questioned, pushing her glasses upward on her nose. “He’s not —- he’s over me.” She glanced over at Winn who was pretending to do work and ignore her. 

[ofallthingsspicy]

Linda really, really didn’t think so; there was definitely unfinished business there, and that was like saying she was over Barry -- ain’t so. But she shrugged, sipping her own coffee. “He watches you a lot. A lot of the guys watch you a lot, actually. Some of the girls, too. If you’re into that.” It was pretty clear why -- Kara had that super cute high energy, always smiling and trying to make everyone feel good. Linda wondered if she ever lost her temper.

[naragun-deactivated20161113]

I highly recommend you follow the person I reblogged this from.

[ofallthingsspicy]

“Don’t,” Linda whispered, almost inaudibly, kissing Patty’s temple. “I’m a reporter, I know how dangerous your job is. How dangerous life can be.” She shifted enough to start trailing kisses over Patty’s face, the freckle by one eye and the dimple at the corner of her mouth. All the little places that mapped out one of the faces she loved so well.

Then she set about touching and teasing, kissing and stroking all the places she knew that would make Patty moan and whine and plead.

[goodbyebarry]

She was glad that Linda understood. Patty never had to sugar coat things for her. She could honestly describe an awful day without having to skim over why it was terrible to make sure Linda wasn’t intimidated at the horrors she faced daily. She smiled at the little kisses the brunette left across her skin, lightly skimming her hands from Linda’s knees to her hips. A good move really, considering she then had something to grip at when her girlfriend turned unfair in the most intoxicating way. “Maybe we should have just skipped to the steam room…” she whispered breathlessly, biting her lip to keep from from letting any sound slip out that the spa workers might here. “Lin,” Patty protested, regrettably pulling out of the reach of those perfect lips, “our massage therapists are about to walk in - I don’t want to get kicked out the minute we get here because you’re too sexy.”

[ofallthingsspicy]

Linda smiled, lashes low. “They’ll knock first.” She pulled Patty back in, hands still wandering. “I promise we have some time.” Smile becoming lascivious, she pushed Patty back onto the table, squirming her way between the blonde’s legs. “Let me help you start relaxing,” she murmured, and knelt.

[ofallthingsspicy]

@supcrgiirl

Okay, so Linda was really grateful to be able to accept a position at CatCo, with Cat Grant of all people -- but it was. Not Central City. Where her life had been.

She didn’t actually want to move to National City. There were boxes everywhere in her apartment, and she didn’t have the energy to unpack them, to turn the apartment into a home. Especially not right now, because Ms Grant was not an easy boss to work for.

Fortunately, Ms Grant’s assistant was adorable and sweet and very good at smoothing over the rough edges, and hilariously oblivious to how many of their co-workers followed her around the room with their eyes. Linda perched on the edge of Kara’s desk with two cups of coffee one day, holding one cup out to the blonde.

“So, how long are you going to leave that poor cute IT guy to pine after you?”

[cfmusings-blog]

                 JUST GO                                           i’m used to it. 

[ofallthingsspicy]

Fucking comcast. My internet is STILL out. I have a business account. I cannot even get an explanation as to what is going on.

[amasians]

New Instagram photo: Malese Jow and her sister, Makenna.

[ofallthingsspicy]

"Do I even matter to you?!" (Liris is my crack ship if that's okay)

“Iris, for real? We have to have this conversation now?” Linda closed her eyes, resisting the urge to smack her head on her laptop keyboard. “Yes, you matter to me. Quite a lot, actually. Would you care to explain what brought this on, or am I supposed to guess?”

[iriswestisirisbest-blog-deactiv]

She sighed in relief, “Okay, that’s good. I’ll grammar check it for you later.” Iris grabbed Linda’s arm lightly, puling her from her seat and grabbing both their purses. She then dragged her to the car and sat in the driver’s seat, driving them home and walking inside.

[ofallthingsspicy]

Iris was being super insistent – not that Linda felt like she had enough brain to resist. She was so tired, now that the driving force was gone, that just speaking was hard, and she stumbled over her own feet getting up the stairs. The couch welcomed her in, and she closed her eyes.

[iriswestisirisbest-blog-deactiv]

Iris watched Linda fall onto the couch and smiled, now Linda could get a nice nap. The poor girl needed one. To be completely honest, Iris felt a little tired, too, so she curled up next to Linda and went to sleep, breathing softly and feeling the warmth of her girlfriend beside her. 

[ofallthingsspicy]

An aborted attempt to roll over woke Linda up after a couple of hours, and she realised she was a) sleeping on the couch, and b) Iris was right there with her. She smiled gently, looking over at Iris, and pulled a strand of hair away from her girlfriend’s sleeping face. Nobody would ever guess how fierce Iris was awake from how innocent she looked asleep.

“Wake up, queen,” she whispered against Iris’ cheek. “Let’s go to bed.”

[ofallthingsspicy]

I find I desperately need to know what Cat Grant makes of Barry Allen.