Humiliate the sun, make him despair, And bind up sorcerers in your musky hair. Make men abandon sugar for your smiles, And perfumes for your tumbling ringlets’ wiles; Make hearts forget their loves, so that they turn Coldly away where once they used to burn.— vis and ramin |twenty-six| blackity black🫶🏾
Although Tomi Adeyemi’s experience in the book industry reeks of classic misogynoir (that we should indeed call out with nuance) I don’t personally sympathize with her🤷🏾♀️ sooooooo many people saw this coming when Amandla was casted and she was so nasty about criticism of her books. She also stood on the casting (cough similar to The Hate U Give) It’s why standing for nothing ends up biting you right in the ass — especially because we ARE black women - you are never bigger than the program in these spaces
I'm answering anons about the racial aspects of the characterization of Lucien and it got me thinking. Lucien's action post-UTM are often touted as moral failings that his character should atone for (i.e. "Lucien tried to take Feyre back to her abuser"). His inability to wholly protect Feyre from Tamlin's abuse (despite the fact that he was a victim of said abuse) is thrown around - yet there's no discussion into the similarities between his role then, and Elain's role at the beginning of the story. A lot of the people who are pro-Elain read and interpret Nesta's actions in the cabin as abusive, but they somehow believe Elain is not complicit in that abuse.
If anything -- it's the strongest byline between Elain and Lucien (if you're interpreting within the story). Both were passive in Feyre's time of need, yet only one gets touted as an abuse apologist. Even after years of being complicit in Feyre's abuse, Elain only has to say one remark and thats enough for her to atone. She doesn't have to raise an army, bring Feyre and Rhys back from the dead, fight in missions without pay, etc.
I genuinely can't believe the students I had since freshmen/sophomore year are graduating and going into the world. Those are my babies. They gave me so much hope for the next generation. I refuse to believe the myth of 'bad' teenagers. They can be so loving and kind. I was a 22- 23 year old teacher who lost her mother at the beginning of my first year teaching and providing intervention. And I was nervous and scared - and now I wonder I why I was ever.
The love they the gave - the respect, the growing love for words and analysis, ugh it is a high like no other. Like they listened and loved me. Ugh I love being a teacher. I love seeing teenagers grow into young adults. I love seeing them learn from their mistakes and grow as adults. I am always so proud of my little teens. To my upcoming generation - you will learn and grow and your wings will fly. They genuinely make me love aging and imparting knowledge. Did they always do their homework? No lollolol, but as the year went by they did. They started asking to read aloud, and for socratic discussions. One of my lowest students who moved out of SC (self contained) asked me if I could give him a book of poetry to read over the summer. I literally cried at that. By the end - all of my students were in regular classes. My babies are going into the world. Oh how I hope it is gentle and kind to them. Beautiful and inspiring. And that goes to all my upcoming graduates!
Oh wow - I did NOT see SJM evade that Breonna Taylor question (the insta post question). Wow…so much to say abt that. Like…the laugh?? SJM..you’re not active on instagram. There’s only ONE post she could possibly be talking about. And to laugh it off — oh she’s aware aware
telling me that it’s Elain’s s’aide of the fandom is racist but nothing for Gwynn. I know what you are..
I guess I knew you'd guys would be quick lmaoo
Not a ship account, srry. But I would like to expound on this quickly.
Elain and Gwyn operate differently in the story, I'm sorry. Elain was initially introduced by villification. A lot of the defensiveness around her character was borne of that. I think initially, it started as reminding people that femininity is not inherently 'useless' or 'negative' -- to which I agreed (in the beginning). Like it was...a criticism to how Elain was written and interpreted. But as the story progressed (i.e. ACOWAR), she became a commodity for the ship wars. And I think the initial defensiveness became something else entirely. It became a distinction. A currency--and that's when it became extremely racialized.
Like...some of us were here for that shift. It wasn't always like that with Elain. And I'm not saying Elain's side as like all people who like Elain. I'm specifically talking about the communities both on here and twitter. There's a specific kind of fanon baked in racism and misogyny. It started as a way to differentiate Nesta and Elain. The discussion between Gwyn and Elain, in my opinion, is an extension of that conversation, because Gwyn is staunchly aligned to Nesta. You have to understand that a lot of people used to hate both sisters. Like there was no differentiation it was a joint hatred lol.
Like does anyone remember that? I know I do - because you used to have to defend both sisters. But as they became fodder for romance, thats when the distinction begins to start. You start to Elain v. Nesta all the time. This 'distinction' ends up following us into the current ship wars.
Is Gwyn's side of the fandom the same? In some ways, yes, in other ways no. I don't think Gwyn side of the fandom has had to make these 'distinctions' because she was never written to be villified. She has present, autonomous friends, and the romance is not centered around Gywn's softeness, or defensive about her faults or proving herself. Gywn's side of the fandom doesn't have to villify Lucien and Azriel because they are the central romances. If you want Gywn with Az, you want Lucien with Elain. There's no point in having to distinguish because you want them to get their story.
Elain stans have to vilify Lucien, as he's the mate. They have to argue against the fatedness of it all. And they tried to shove Lucien with the other queen (Vassa? I believe her name). But it ends being funny (funny ew) because they argue how much of a monster is for Elain, but deem the woman of color deserving of all of the negative traits they placed on Lucien.
Also...just go through the tags for both women and see the difference in the discussions and how the arguments. A lot of Elain stans approach these conversations through delegitimization. Because they have learned to argue these points through distinguishing Elain. So - Gwyn didn't actually win the blood rite, she's got too much explicit trauma to be a character and blah blah blah. And these distinctions are actually for Nesta...but they trickle down to Gwyn. Just go look at the difference...it is jarring.
I also think - one day, one day - we will have to have a discussion into the black/brown women in these communities, and their attachment to the specific power fantasy. I think there's a lot of self/racial hate somewhere in there.
I think there's a specific, weirdly-racialized (imo, people can disagree) type of fanon that is built around the character of Elain. And while I think SJM created the climate for it, I think its something much bigger than her. Like - I think the racism within Elain's space of the fandom is actually quite...sinister? And I think it's a bit divorced from even the racism SJM usually writes? Like its definitely influenced by the dynamics in the story, but its kind of taken on a life of its own. SJM gives us this: Elain, a quiet character with a limited POV, who offers the story softness without any deep interrogation. I think fandom has intensified that identity, moralized it, and then defends that interpretation.
Because Elain ends up being underwritten compared to Feyre and Nesta, she has been fashioned into a specific archetype: gentle, forgiving, aesthetically soft (flowers, light, warmth, the sun), nurturing. And these are not bad traits on their own. They aren't negative or even inherently racial. But they do begin to look like a very familar cultural archetype: the 'safe' palatable, non-threatening women.
And I think the Nesta v. Elain debates that end up happening exemplify that: Despite the fact that both sisters read as 'abusive' in the beginning, Nesta is characterized as angry, sharp, confrontational, and volatile. And the consequence is that the fandom demands accountability, and frames Nesta as underserving of redemption. Elain's passivity ends up being excused, protected, and reframed as trauma and or gentleness.
Another HUGE piece of the Elain fanon (and one of the biggest racialized aspects aside from the twins) is the way Elain's bond with Lucien is discussed. And this is where it gets...very sinster. Like - don't even take it from me. Just go through the anti-Lucien/anti Elucien tag - it literally reads like a newspaper article from the 1950s Jim Crow era. And I'm not exaggerating that. And on the flipside, I'd argue that even the discussion around Elain/Azriel reads the same way. He's an exotic sex doll whose ambiguous enough to be desired, but not to be explored in totality. It's why a lot if Elain stans often want it to be an Elain book with Az as a side character. He's another fantasy for them to live through.
Elain is characterized as someone who needs to be protected from Lucien. He's 'ugly, scary, a coward and a monster. He 'reminds Elain of her trauma' (which reads EVEN more sinister when you consider that a lot of people considered what happened to Elain an allegory for rape). He makes her uncomfortable...like its getting weird out here. Mind you - Lucien was explicitly SA'd, abused by his best friend, and then abandoned by said friend, and MAIMED.
And again - while I think SJM developed the climate - I really think its kind of even more racialized than even SJM initially wrote? Maybe?
And don't even GET me started on Nuala and Cerridwen and the absolute INSANITY of that dynamic in fandom spaces (I will link the post here when I find). It's actually so much more racist than the dynamic we even get in the books. I have more thoughts but its extremely interesting
Ugh my sisters in Nigeria — you go through so much. So much. To be Nigerian is to have both love and shame for your country. I pray the universe listens to our cries. Tradition is not consent. It isn’t right because it’s been allowed. Because it’s baked in our history.
It’s so sad - the state of both my communities. Both Black and Nigerian. So much pain and suffering and the women who have to suffer it all.
Nearly blocked someone for a vaguely annoying reply they made in 2017 then remembered 2017 was 9 years ago. They will live. We can change *opens their blog* nevermind they got worse. Guards
It's actually quite crazy that Azriel is allowed to pine after Mor for years -- long enough that Morrigan admits that it makes her uncomfortable....SO uncomfortable that she forces herself to sleep with another man, despite (maybe--her coming out scene is a mess) not even liking men. She has had to use Cassian as a buffer for hundreds of years because she is uncomfortable (and the 'use' of these men is a whole other conversation). She has felt so responsible for Azriel that she basically has to alter her own behavior to create distance. And its crazy because - in all the shipping nonsense we get - Morrigan and the baggage she's had to carry for Azriel is never even considered. Azriel gets to move on to another women (whether that be elain or gwyn)--and get a sweeping love-story where he potentially stands 'up' for them, or make them feel safe. And Morrigan has to live with years of altering her own behavior, forcing herself to lay with men she's not even attracted to. And I'm supposed to take their 'we are all about choice' seriously. It's okay for Elain to be given grace, space, and understanding.
Morrigan has been living with a chip on her shoulder for hundreds of years - balancing Az's emotions over her own happiness. It's implied that she has taking men home specifically with the purpose of getting Az to leave her alone. And the only reason it stops is because....there's yet another woman he's projected his insecurities onto...not because he realizes the problem of his behavior.
okay but this is actually such a brutal read and it makes a lot of sense.because the way she writes tamlin isn’t how authors usually write a permanently condemned abuser. instead he’s left in this weird limbo where he does terrible things but is constantly given “outs” — so guilt, moments of help, saving people, living alone in the ruins of his court.that’s how you write a character when you want the option of redeeming them later.it feels like the abuse is written in a way that can be walked back if she ever changes direction. so tamlin ends up condemned by the narrative, but structurally still written like someone the story could forgive if it wanted to. oh you cooked cuz i never thought of it that way but i clicked whn you said that
Anon!!!! Omggg yessssssss!
This is exactly what I meant!!! Literally exactly. Sometimes I never know if my point is clear because I love a good ramble! It's like you scanned my brain! It's why I've always said, a failure to condemn the abuse just recreates it! The fandom is living with the harsh consequences of this.
The reality is that Chapter 54 gave both Tamlin and Rhysand an out. Once SJM extended the grace to Rhysand, she inadvertently extended it to Tamlin.
She attempted to combat this by simply not giving Tamlin a written explanation, but she already did by giving Rhysand one. Tamlin is so similar to Rhys in his abuse that SJM wrote outs for it. Because she always has...look at all of her characters, even unfavorable ones. All of them are written in contingency, because she doesn't plan, she leaves one foot in the door, and one foot out (*cough* Eris). Like Eris was literally given the Rhysand treatment after being established as an abusing, crazy guy who left Mor in the woods to basically die. But look at how the narrative chooses to rehabilitate him.
Now Rhysand stans are stumped because the same arguments they used for years are being used against them.
A failure to adequately and objectively comment on the reality of abuse with Rhys has left them deadlocked into a constant, evergoing conversation. That's why I think the fandom leans so heavily into labels (i.e. abuser) and not the behaviors that constitute it. It's why they use tangible language with Tamlin (he 'threw a table at her' he 'forcibly' bit her, he 'abused' feyre, 'he locked in the house'), and but lean into vague descriptors for Rhysand (he 'was afraid' 'he was 'protecting her' 'it was complicated). Notice how the intention is at the forefront, and the behavior is hardly ever mentioned. Once the label 'abuser' is put out - people stop engaging with the conversation in good faith because they don't believe it needs nuance. Every action taken becomes proof of that label.
Now - everyone throws the word abuser around to end the conversation, rather than starting one. It's taking something so important, and using it as a currency to end nuance, when it should be the exact opposite. So - instead of focusing on patterns of harm, dynamics of abuse, and more, the word abuser gets thrown around tos stabilize the moral hierarchy of the story. Tamlin gets the label and the conversation stops, Rhys avoids that label and the conversation remains open for context and justification. So ironicially it shuts down the very conversation this story is trying to tell -- how fear, trauma, protection, and access to power can distort and disrupt dynamics. Because the story spends so long trying to avoid the nuance, it stops readers for examining the behaviors themselves. Because then -- you can't control that narrative.
The disconnect between what SJM writes and what she thinks she writes is wild.
The Call Her Daddy podcast interview was yet another one that shows she has no idea what she's actually doing.
"... the super powerful dude wants to get on his knees in front of this lady, like she is in control of him 100%..."
The power dynamic is always the men over the women. Nowhere do we see what she's describing here.
"....they want a lover who is also like a best friend that like they can be equal with and speak to on an honest level."
The narrative shows the couples are not equal and can't have honest conversations, over and over, at different times in different ways.
Feyre and Rhysand :
“You promised—you promised no secrets, no games. You promised. [...] I don’t want to hear you explain how you assumed that you knew best, that I couldn’t handle it [...] I don’t want to hear you tell me that you decided I was to be kept in the dark while your friends knew, while you all decided what was right for me—” (ACOMAF, Ch. 50)
Feyre began shaking. “If I die …” Her gaze drifted to one of her tattooed arms. She lifted her head, eyes bright with tears as she asked Amren, “You … all of you knew this? [...] Rhys knew?” Tears spilled down Feyre’s cheeks, smearing the paint splattered there. (ACOSF, Ch.46)
Nesta and Cassian :
“This isn’t coming out the way it should. We argued about whether to tell you, but we took a vote and it went in your favor. Because we trust you. I just … hadn’t gotten a chance to bring it up yet.” (ACOSF, Ch. 45)
“[...] And I knew what that meant, what had happened, even though you didn’t, and I didn’t want to scare you. You weren’t ready for the truth—not yet.” (ACOSF, Ch.62)
Elain and Azriel :
Elain said, “[...] I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today. [...] Find me when you wish to begin.” (ACOSF, Ch.21)
Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.” (ACOSF, Ch.29)
So when she says the men are "respecting and honoring" the women—
Literally, where?
Rhysand subjected Feyre to reproductive abuse along with the revelation she doesn't have a support system. She holds an empty title that nobody in the IC actually takes seriously. Rhysand has meetings and makes decisions without her, sometimes even acting expressly against her wishes (HOFAS bonus chapter). Azriel was told something by Feyre and looked to Rhysand for confirmation. Cassian has directly just ignored her wishes to do what he wants.
Nesta was subjected to physical and mental abuse on that hike that was actually a full-on grueling trek. With Rhyand's gleeful approval and Azriel's packing of the bag, Cassian used extreme physical activity to break her down, the way cults do to make their victims vulnerable to brainswashing. He wanted to punish her, was angry and taking it out on her with the labor and silent treatment, ignoring her struggling – physically to exhaustion and dehydration, and mentally with passive suicidal ideation – behind him for days on end. Learning about "alpine divorce", I thought immediately of Nessian.
Azriel couldn't take the hint in hundreds of years that Morrigan is not interested in him. He keeps Elain on a pedestal, disregarding the fact she willingly stepped up to fulfill the IC's goals and wants to be taken seriously. He infantilizes her, doesn't think of her past his libido, and foremost sees her as a reason to feel left out that his brothers have mates and he doesn't.
"...[Rhysand makes] perhaps a bad call..."
Perhaps??? 🙈
This woman writes what amounts to patriarchy propaganda (boys will be [500 year old] boys), poorly masquerading as "feminist healing stories", and it's crazy to me that so many people can't see that.
you guys are sooo kind and nice!! id only been looking at the new anons but im seeing all the old one’s and i really want to say thank you!!!! some of you say such beautiful kind things!!! it really makes this community worth it! thank you for making this a safe space again - I can’t describe what it means to me after all this time and all the hate!! you guys rock!!!
Opinion on Sarah’s thoughts on Tamlin in then interview?
Hey anon!!!
(long post)
Her inability to have an tangible, solid opinion on Tamlin has always been interesting. I think the problem with Tamlin's character is this: SJM expects us to always hold Tamlin to a 'standard.' MAF plays out this way, recreated specific moments and showing how Tamlin erred. SJM uses Tamlin is a pre-emptive defense for Rhysand. The only difference in their behavior is how the story asks the reader to interpret it And it knows that. There's no difference in what Rhysand and Tamlin do to Feyre.
The problem became the people also began to hold Rhysand to the same standard and she didn't plan for that. I believe Tamlin was written initially-- and when Rhys 'walked on to the page' -- she didn't rewrite the beginning, she just recontextualized Tamlin's actions. So, instead of framing Tamlin as someone who is making complicated decisions under duress (sounds...similar), those moments read as rigid moral failings. This creates a rift in the series because the text hasn't changed, but the framing does. It has to jump between Tamlin always 'having' these signs of abuse, or Tamlin developing them over time. Scenes that were neutral become moments of cruelty and control. Instead of earning this interpretation, it leans on reinterpretation via sympathy. SJM's recent discussion is an way to rehabilitate a characterization thats been pushed too far into moral absolutism. I think she began to realize that sustaining narrative dislike becomes difficult in a long-form series because it freezes the characters and the plot within a single moral logic.
And this is where it falls apart. When you've locked certain characters, plot-points, and labels into a villainous role, you'll find quickly that the plot has no where to go. Tamlin can't evolve as a character because the narrative has already decided what he represents inherently, but an actual reading from the beginning novel doesn't support that representation. Tamlin becomes a convient foil for Rhys; its why the story keeps coming back to Tamlin, humilating, condemning him, and... then awkwardly softening the condemnation when the plot needs him.
WAR immediately begins to walk-back the perceived severity of Tamlin's actions because the plot had nowhere to go after MAF. It's contingency writing - I've always said that. SJM wrote Tamlin so that he could be redeemed. She has always written an out to his abusive behavior. SJM doesn't actually hate Tamlin. He's a convenient foil for Rhys; even if Rhys does something negative (SA, Pregnancy), its forever held in opposition to Tamlin. I'm saying plainly that SJM sees Rhysand in Tamlin. Too much negative discussion into Tamlin says something about Rhysand.
I've always upheld said that SJM 'hate' for Tamlin is superficial. It's a much more intricate version of what is established with the sisters. SJM didn't write them with the intention of being dubbed abusive...she just wanted people to like Feyre via pity. Once the like was established -- she walks back the seriousness of what happens in the cabin. MAF wants us to like Rhys...the means to that end is Tamlin's abuse. And I think SJM own track record kind of supports this. She wanted people to like Rowan, so she vilified Chaol. It's the original instance of this happening. Once she felt comfortable enough, that people liked Rowan, she walks back the severity of Chaol's actions. And it worked! People hated Chaol, despite Rowan being physically and mentally abusive-ish to Aelin.
SJM will never have 'strong' opinions on Tamlin because he's a mirror. A convenient one, but a mirror all the same,
I watched the podcast and was horrified by the fact that SJM spent minutes talking about the traumatic childbirth she suffered while simultaneously downplaying what Rhysand did by taking away Feyre's autonomy and omitting the risk of death. This is not a "mistake". It's something SERIOUS (And it qualifies as obstetric violence).
I can't stand this woman talking about abusive relationships in books while simultaneously making excuses for AN ABUSIVE CHARACTER. She could have written Rhysand in many different ways to avoid these discussions. But she chose to write him this way. A disgusting and deceitful manipulator abuser.
This is gross and hypocritical. But what can I expect from ACOTAR, which reeks of an abusive, rich CEO smut book disguised as a fae?
Hey anon!!
This! If anything, everything that she described is antithetical to what she wrote in the story. In the novel - there isn't a broad, overarching patriarchal system (as SJM's experience suggests) contributing to Feyre's complicated pregnancy. We don't get scenes showing Feyre coping with the realities of pregnancy. We don't get Feyre showing how the inherent process of pregnancy is deadly, complicated, and not a glowing mirage. It would have been easy to mirror Feyre's initial hopefulness/brashness to get pregnant with the harshness of pregnancy. The story invents a whole other problem - with a assured 100% mortality rate, yet doesn't discuss supports like abortion. Hell -- even ASOIAF has an abortion alternative. It never even comes up!
Nothing she said actually made any sense, given what she wrote. It wasn't a system harming Feyre -- it was her family. Madja suggests things, but Rhys mandate them; he takes Madja's suggestions at face value, and never considers reassuring Feyre or filling her in. He doesn't...trust Feyre. It's not a tangible, hegemonic system informing these beliefs (though they literally exist in the story!). And if Rhys was an actual character - it would easy to believe that a 500-year-old Fae male, though 'progressive' still subconsciously subscribes to negative tenements of Fae society. Position Rhys as someone who changed for Feyre, but is still an entirely different race, with an entirely different set of beliefs. But she can't do that because she moralized so much. It's why she's walking back her vitriol for Tamlin, because it simply...isn't sustainable.
Pregnancy is already hard! It's already deadly--a traumatic experience. There's so many ways SJM could have portrayed her dissatisfication with pregnancy, while centering the integrity of her characters, specifically the one she wrote experiencing a partner who previously tried to control her bodily autonomy. You hated being pregnant...why not show Feyre...hating being pregnant? Show her being crabby, mean, emotional? How about she's got her own problems and she could give two fucks about what her sister's got going on?
Pregnant Feyre almost glorifies being pregnant. You write a scene where her husband is gloating (while not telling her she's actually about to die) about her 'baby-rich scent.' She's wearing her UTM/CoN look, she's stuck in a protective bubble, doesn't leave her house. Rhys goes as far as to suggest glamoring her pregnancy. These aren't societal failures being propagated by the wider court - these are fear-induced decisions Rhys intentionally makes. SJM talks about being left in the dark and not knowing that she was cut horribly...and then you write that same experience for Feyre, with the stagnating force being her husband, not society. It's terrible. When she finds out Rhys and the IC conspired to leave her in the dark - she's not angry, she doesn't speak out, she doesn't get to take control. And then she punishes only Nesta - not the system that was set in place (i.e. her husband).
