born to sleep forced to work

25 he/him australian

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

all guys have a shirt which is their best shirt. that's just guys for ya...

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

(muttering to myself as i put on an outfit which is my best shirt with my best pants) i didn't need to go this hard...

[magicfriend1000000000000000]

[crazy-brazilian]

[speedette]

Me and my Warhammer collection

[threedollarsdotcom]

letd go eat parts of that guys car

[depsidase]

[chillyfeetsteak]

wheeeeee wahooooo lalalala

[damazcuz]

friend: please drink tonight you're so weird when you're sober

me: i promise i'll be regular

friend: okay as long as you promise

me: (zero beers in) (unprompted) the humble mole can dig up to 100x its body weight in soils each day. The humble mole can survive on a single worm for 80 nights. The humble mole can meditate for 1001 moons uninterrupted. The humble mole can forgive.

[24x81]

im not the same person i was when I pulled that meat out of the freezer this morning. I've changed. i don't have that in me anymore. ive moved on

[elexecution]

if i was born 500 years ago i would have been speculating that the two dudes who went to get firewood together were fucking

[neaborealis]

chat, how long do y’all think 500 years is. Romeo and Juliet was written in the 1500s. 500 years is not the Stone Age.

[elexecution]

why do u think people stopped collecting firewood after caveman times

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Many such cases

[indigosfindings]

im on a "eat food" diet. i eat a food i eat it

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[blossposs]

[crispylilworm]

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[theboost]

Why don’t we let the guy whose every plan could be reasonably construed as an abstract suicide attempt take a crack at it

[kitto-paint]

If you give your sicarians hands, they will become youtubers

[arachnixe]

Every single cursed amulet is my precious child. I put them out into the world to offer good advice that helps people discover their true selves. The only reason you struggle to take yours off is because deep down you know it's good for you.

[diabolicalevil]

[diabolicalevil]

[teathattast]

[bunjywunjy]