수채화

Choi Jimin. 20. ❝With a clear color, you seeped into me. A love light filled up our times together. When we colored each other the love that was clear in my heart. The color is fading I’m walking in the darkness alone. Our memories that were so clear, are now just a faded black-and-white picture. Now we’re faded.❞

[skamgif]

[ofchimchim]

Jimin allowed himself to face her instead, he stood up. “I didn’t really see anything. I just heard, a lot.” A breath escaped him as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Listen we don’t have to talk about it or anything. Just let me take you home? I don’t have to carry you or anything.” Jimin honestly wasn’t really aware of what had went down. He had just heard the scream and suddenly Bomi was in front of him and he just wanted to make everything better. Even if she didn’t want to tell him what the problem was at all he didn’t need to know what had happened. If she never wanted to tell him he would be fine with that entirely as long as she got better. “Why? Are you hurt? I mean I know I can’t really do anything to help now but...” He trailed off after that because he genuinely didn’t know what he was supposed to do or say. The only other times he’s ever had to help someone was whenever one of his ‘friends’ had gotten high and they weren’t feeling the best afterwards. He would get off the buzz fast and would help clean up whatever apartment they had trashed that day so the parents wouldn’t be too mad when they came back to see the party they had so obviously thrown. He didn’t really like the parties too much, only going for the free supply. Maybe he would end up in some ones bed by accident the next morning, but it was never more than that. He never really helped much unless there was alcohol involved and ultimately there were hangovers to be cared for. Whatever Bomi was going through he didn’t know the extent but he could look past it and help her. As best as he could of course.

[ofchimchim]

“What?” Jimin practically squeaked out. He didn’t know why the other was being so persistent and while he had nothing against him he just didn’t really know who the fuck he was. And well, that was a little nerve racking for Jimin. He wasn’t really on the verge of having a mini episode but he was a little nervous all together. Which was exactly why he couldn’t really get himself to really say anything in response other than the pretty dumb response he had jus given. He also couldn’t exactly move that much either. Should he follow this complete stranger? Or should he start running? While the latter option seemed a bit extreme he didn’t really know what to do. He allowed himself to nod slowly at him though. Still, he stood blankly staring at him for awhile before, “Are you saying we should break in?” Hearing the way he had asked it, it was a little harder to imagine how Jimin of all people could be considered in a gang with the innocent way he went about things. He just wasn’t made for it, he couldn’t really adapt to it much either.

[ofchimchim]

CHOI JIMIN; A MOODBOARD

“Strangely, these days, I like things easy. But still, I like Corinne’s music.”

[qdramas]

[ofchimchim]

Jimin had blinked a few times, not getting the point really until he noticed the redness of her cheeks. With a small frown on his face he continued, “That doesn’t matter. We can just clean up together, but we need to get home.” Jimin didn’t know exactly what he should be doing in a situation like this. Should he address the problem? Probably not in the middle of where the scene took place, probably not. Even if Jimin didn’t really know what he was doing he wouldn’t use it as an excuse to not help her. He had to, any way that he could. “Just get on my back or something. I’ll draw the bath and then we can order pizza or something.” He seemed to love that phrase, ‘or something’. Although a lot of the time that was more of an automatic reflex to add that to the end of a sentence for any person. Jimin knew it just showed his hesitance towards going about this whole thing. He still willingly tugged at her hand to put on his shoulder as he squatted, backing her. “Just please get on my back princess. It doesn’t matter to me.” Because it really didn’t.

[ofchimchim]

Jaehyun and BamBam are both drowning and you can only save one of them. Who do you save?

Jimin had to take a moment to think about this. Really think about this. It seemed pretty irrational for this situation to take place. Bomi...She would never willingly go near the water. He had learnt that the hard way and he hoped he’d never have to see her experience that again. Not in her life. Jimin had never thought of being the one who would save another or protect them in any way. With someone like Jaehyun, he felt safe with him. Even if he was a supposedly dangerous person, he still managed to keep Jimin feeling protected. A feeling he’s never been acquainted with until Jaehyun. No one had ever made him try to choose between two of his most favorite people. He could barely choose a favorite genre of music, or an artist. When it came to Bomi and Jaehyun. They were both people he needed with him. He could only hope he would never actually be put in this situation.

“Well that uh...No matter what I say I’m fucked right?”

[ofchimchim]

[ofchimchim]

Jimin didn’t really want to tell Jaehyun about it. And he had hoped he had gotten the hint but the way he took his time to even consider answering him. He didn’t want Jaehyun to know about how much he regretted every second of his life spent on this sick addiction. It wasn’t something to be proud of at all. That was for sure. If he could, he would sit down and give him the whole story. A bit in an angry customer yelp review way, 1 star and all. The real problem was that he didn’t know what would happen after he opened up. He couldn’t fully show his feelings, as if he was just setting a shuffled deck of cards onto the table to choose from. But was it because it was Jaehyun? Not really. It wasn’t as if trust was an issue with him. Jimin didn’t need or want someone to cradle his feelings like a baby. And while he wasn’t expecting a sort of Ahyeong-esque response out of telling Jaehyun anything relatively serious. He would appreciate it more if he didn’t treat it as a joke. There were so many things stopping him. He could sit here in silence and continue to list them off in his head until he ended up locking himself up in his room. He took a glance towards Jaehyun and suddenly he allowed himself to speak, “I doubt anyone cared though.” The source of all his problems. “No one ever really cared.” The reason he had started really was on accident. The reason he continued was because he wanted attention. Jimin was sad, all the time. Jimin never felt happy about things. His childhood left him fucked for the rest of his life. He had always depended on that little bit of warmth he could get any chance given and it wasn’t right. It wasn’t right but he didn’t care at the time. And while he thought that he was getting the warmth he had always wanted. It was just that short high that would go away later and leave him not only wanting more, but feeling worse than before he had taken that first hit. “And it made me feel better for a little bit.” At least he thought it did. “But then it was gone and everyone went back to not caring about me.” He was struggling to come to terms with it. He had never really realized how effecting it was. Until after the withdrawl. “I was just being an attention seeking whore. It wasn’t supposed to get too serious, I just wanted someone to pay attention to me. Even if it would be gone in a moment, it made me feel nice.” But only for a moment.

[ofchimchim]

If Jimin could he would have jumped up at least 10 feet in the air from the sound of the other’s voice. Pushing the headphones off of his ears he was contemplating acting as if he hadn’t heard him but considering the other was basically at the back of him that wouldn’t have worked in the slightest. Instead he turned to face the other, “Uh.” Great answer. “I just saw it and I...Yeah. I wanna swim.” No reason to lie really. It wasn’t as if this guy had a key or some shit and was going to miraculously open the door for him to swim without trunks or any shit like that. “But, like you said it’s closed. And it’s not like I have swim trunks anyways. So I’ll just be on my way.” He gave a curt nod and forced smile towards the other. Jimin just really didn’t like having to actively speak to others. It was really more of a chore than anything. Especially when the other was a stranger and Jimin couldn’t tell what their intentions were. So if the chance to end the conversation ever came, he would gladly grab it and use it. And he has nothing against people really. He just doesn’t like talking. It was always something he hadn’t been the best at, conversing was anxiety inducing for him. It seemed that even ordering for himself was a bit of a struggle. It was just that bad.

[ofchimchim]

It was hard to miss the scene that was unfolding in front of him. It was at the last minute, when Jimin could feel himself begin to pick his feet up from the ground to walk away. But the screaming had stopped him, what would you do in this situation? Jimin had never been the type of person who went out of their way to help others. And while he hated this fact, Jimin was the by stander. In any story involving bullying there was always the person (or persons) who would always be aware of what was happening. But they would never the mouth to speak up, whether it was because they were too scared of being involved or whatever reason they had for it. Jimin was that person. He was just so scared of the unknown that he never dared look for it. The moment that had got him thinking however, seemed to have passed. And he was left facing, Bomi? He furrowed his eyebrows a bit, instinctively pulling the rather light cardigan off of his body to place onto his obviously shaking girlfriend. Jimin obviously had no real idea of what was going on right now and while a part of him was telling him to walk away. The other part of him, that ultimately overbeared the scared part of him, just really wanted to help. He didn’t say anything for a while. “Do you want me to carry you?” The most rational thing was to get her out of whatever happened. 

[cheolshu]

Visit Original Link

M.O.L.A.- CHILLIN’ (+K, VERNON) (Remix)

[wirtgay]

[leebxmi]

@gpjaehyun @gpjimin

[choijaehyvn]

Summer was almost over, and yet Jaehyun couldn’t think of one memorable thing he did this season. Well, aside from what happened to the Ivory Hotel. He doesn’t even think he can take credit for that, considering he didn’t actually do it and he didn’t think any of his members did either. Aside from smashing people up like watermelons, he hadn’t actually been able to make use of his freetime. He’d been volunteering at an animal shelter, but that wasn’t really a social or summer activity. Jaehyun was sprawled on his back, staring at the screen of his phone with dead eyes in the accompanying silence (aside from the TV) that came with hanging out with Jimin. Maybe they could do something together. Make some memories together during what remained of their summer and get closer. But he didn’t really know where to start.

“Yah, Jiminie. I know when you first moved in, you said you had some problems with drugs, but I never asked which ones?” He put his phone down flat on his chest, directing all of his attention to Jimin sitting on the other end of the couch. When he and Eunha had still been together, once in a blue moon they’d snort a few lines together in Jaehyun’s room- but he had never thought about how inconsiderate it might’ve been to Jimin until now. “It wasn’t cocaine, right? ‘Cause if it was, can’t say I blame you. It’s a nice buzz.”

If there was a thing called tact, Jaehyun did certainly not possess it. But how were you supposed to go about having a conversation like this with someone anyway? He could only be blunt. “Sorry if I’m asking too many questions, but we’ve never really talked about this stuff before,” he says, picking his phone back up to tear his gaze away from Jimin. He didn’t want to make Jimin uncomfortable, and this was a heavy thing to talk about (if Jimin humored him by talking about it all), so he didn’t want to make it worse by staring at him too.

@gpjimin​

[ofchimchim]

The sound of Jaehyun’s voice filling the rather quiet room (aside from the tv) had startled Jimin a bit. Setting his book down he was ready to talk about whatever Jaehyun was trying to talk about until he had heard the dreaded words and suddenly he was tensed up. Jimin didn’t like to think about his drug problem. He thought about it a lot and it was almost always on his mind but to verbally say something regarding it was more than a simple problem for him. Jimin was the type of person who you needed to be gentle with. He was a bit child like in that factor. Feeling as if he needs to be protected or cared for in a way, he liked the attention. Otherwise he was a sensitive guy. Being blunt wasn’t his thing and he had thought after living with Jaehyun for awhile now he would be able to get over the way it ticked at him but it seemed it didn’t. Not when it came to this topic. So he didn’t answer him at first, wanting so desperately to go back to the book he had been reading before so he didn’t have to talk about it. But the mood had already shifted, at least for him, it would be hard to just ignore it. Jaehyun was right though, they never talked about things like that before. Serious stuff like this, personal things. They just weren’t friends like that. Although being in a gang together Jimin didn’t go around telling anyone and everyone about his problems. He was still recovering, it wasn’t as if he was a 50 year old man and it was some rebellious teenage phase. No, it was something that had happened and was still happening. It was going to take a lot more than just wasted time in rehab before he fully recovered. A few minutes had passed before he decided to say something, “Yeah, it was coke.” He began, looking down at his lap. “And it did a little more than just give me a nice buzz.” His voice had become even more quiet than usual. It seemed that he had already set the tone.

[ofchimchim]

The first time Jimin ever decided he was a Percy Jackson wannabe and was in love with the water was the first time he had gone to the beach. It was a family vacation and by law his parents had to drag him along, or else he knew they would have probably left him at home for the hell of it. He knew this wasn’t the same with everyone but he thought the water was beautiful, peaceful. No one was really paying attention when he had cranked up the volume on his headphones and began walking towards the body of water. He didn’t realize it until after there was yelling and Jimin’s 7 year old body was being dragged from the water and he was coughing up a bit more than just sea water. After catching his breath he had realized something, he had been drowning. He had been so out of it that he was willing to drown himself to experience the beautiful water. He had to crack his piggy bank open when they got back home to buy himself a new pair of headphones.

 For most people that was probably a reason to never go near the water, to be afraid. But for some reason Jimin had decided that this was some sort of new opportunity for him. So he got lessons, he wasn’t looking to be some expert swimmer but he wanted to be able to at least breath underwater for a second or two, or at least be able to float in the goddamn pool. It wasn’t the same as music to him but it was something he could do to zone out. He didn’t have to be aware of his surrondings in the water. If he blasted his headphones on the bus the person beside him would try to talk to him, or in class he would get detention. It depended really. But if he could just step inside the indoor pool (where no one liked to go to) and float there for a few seconds in thought. Play with the clear water not having been touched until end of the year activities came. He hadn’t been in the water since he graduated from high school. It wasn’t private for him anymore.

Nothing was private for him anymore. Nobody left him alone at all and these days people were trying to pick a fight with him left and right. He had learnt how to keep a poker face pretty easily and that seemed to piss the other off even more. He’d have to pay more attention, but Jimin couldn’t help it when he would zone out and walk into the wrong alley. Or some teenager thinking they were in some sort of gang wanted to fight him. He’d either get hit or be able to walk away at the last minute. This time that he had walked in the wrong direction he had come across something. A pool. A public pool, one that wasn’t open at all but Jimin couldn’t really lift his feet from the ground to walk away. So he just stared into the clear still open body of water, rubbing at his already roughed up hair. Knowing that there was a growing bruise beginning on his cheekbone. He looked like a mess but he was too entranced with the water that he didn’t even notice when his phone had died and when the music in his ears had suddenly stopped. He wanted to go in.

[angstmemes]

Bold what your muse has done in the last twelve months.

[ofchimchim]

angstmemes:

Been so sick you were bed-bound for at least three days. Gotten so drunk you did something you really shouldn’t have done. Celebrated your birthday with a cake and presents. Had family over or went to family for Christmas. Had something stolen. Cried yourself to sleep. Made a new friend. Met someone you wish you hadn’t. Laughed so hard you couldn’t get off the ground. Had a fight with someone that’s still unresolved. Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Held a gun. Used a gun. Performed/presented in front of at least twenty people. Bought something that cost at least a thousand dollars/pounds. Watched at least one full season of a show. Broken something in anger. Told someone something you were really afraid to admit. Updated your Facebook status. Read or written fanfiction. Been on a plane. Been hospitalized for anything at all. Broken a bone. Been in a car accident. Bought a new item of clothing. Left the country. Prayed to God. Been so disappointed in something you cried. Had sex with more than three different people. Stolen something from a shop or from someone. Kept a diary/journal for the majority of the year. Seen someone die. Killed someone. Got into a fist fight while sober. Seen someone famous. Slept outside involuntarily. Been assaulted by someone. Threatened with a gun or a different weapon. Played an instrument. Played a video game all the way to the end. Finished a whole bottle of wine on your own. Smoked. Went out for meal with someone. Petted an animal that isn’t your own pet. Went to a swimming pool.

[teddywestside]

[choijaehyvn]

@bomigp @gpjimin