*✦ Smile Flower

❝For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse. crumble. This is not your destruction, this is your birth.❞ Byun Minah. 21 year old destruction. The Ivory Hand's security chief. 

[allyofrps-deactivated20170129]

archetype series: the teen queen

it seems as if everyone knows her, like she’s touched all of their lives in one way or another. her fingerprints are littered on everyone, each of them telling a different story. surely one person couldn’t possibly be so many people all at once, but when you meet her you begin to have your doubts. just seeing her smile is like taking a breath of fresh air, like the slight raise of her brows could change the way you see the world. but there will always be an air of mystery about her, something she’s not telling you. she’s so many people all at once, but she’s also just a girl with a secret.

[ofminah]

I guess you can also kiss this ass goodbye. I don’t want this to come off as me just following along or whatever. Because I’ve wanted to leave this rp for the longest time. And it’s mostly because I need to focus more on school, and writing for me, it was supposed to be a hobby. Just something to do on the side and I enjoyed it and it helped me become a better writer as well. Being in this rp has helped me become a better version of myself in terms of writing and I am so thankful for that. I’ve been worrying on my activity and bubble rping, plotting and such. It’s not making me happy anymore and I guess it took me awhile to realize I could just leave. I honestly love you all and I wish I had plotted and threaded with you guys more but it’s just not a happy thing for me anymore? And I shouldn’t do that to myself. So a bit of self care right now, this is me saying bye. Feel free to hmu. I have my main blog which isn’t related to rping at all at @symphonymay and I have other rp blogs which I don’t really use. I’ll be changing my urls as well as maybe editing my blogs. I won’t be on here for a bit though because I’m extremely busy for school and my concert coming up on Sunday. I’m going to try my best and go out there and experience things more. Be happy I guess.

A quick sorry to the admins because I know me and my activity has been like shit for the past few months. Also sorry to anyone who I never really got to rp with. You guys are the real mvps for dealing with my inconsistent ass. 

[ofminah]

“That’s shit.” Minah figured it was harder for her to get drunk simply because she had built up some sort of tolerance herself. Well, considering she was an actual middle aged man who got drunk every night just to cheat on his wife, she would have figured she had a higher tolerance. That just meant she was tempted to take even more alcohol. Which wasn’t exactly the best thing and she should definitely not be doing that. But she couldn’t stop it much. “Hey, heard what happened.” She didn’t really know what she was trying to say to her. “I don’t really know where I was going with that but. Another round of shots? I’ll ask for the hard stuff.” She said as she slid another one towards her and downed another again. Already ready to order for more. “I’m pissed too so we could get drunk in each other’s presence. Like one of those group circles shit where they talk about their feelings, but with just us and less feelings.”

[ofminah]

“You’re very...I don’t know thoughtful? You basically just gave me a bunch of hope for something that isn’t going to happen. But it’s the thought that counts right? Reminds me of this girl I think is hot.” Minah had already apologized for talking to much but she was already finding it difficult to stop talking. “I’m sorry if I’m taking up so much of your time but I was ready to leave but I’ve already started talking y’know? It’s like once you start you can’t stop. Like the first time you try weed or something. I’ve never tried it before so I don’t know if that comparison works at all. Maybe the first time you try something that’s kind of weird but good at the same time? Yeah, that works better.” Minah has decided that she wasn’t really good at talking. But she was good at rambling enough until it seemed as if she was some quirky girl who was always talking. Which she kind of was, but it got even worse when she was drunk. “Oh you thought that was personal?” She was already shaking her head. “I’m sure i’ve told about a good ten other people something similar after a few drinks. But I guess that was less controllable than now? It’s like I got drunk off of talking. Or it’s just because you were there to listen. You’re a good listener dude, keep it up. I think that’s endearing or something to people.” There was a nod of her head before she began talking again. “Oh! Also I’m not buying this anymore.” She was handing the bottle to him. “What’s your name by the way? Don’t people get like a raise if they give really good customer service? I mean it doesn’t look like anyone else works here but whatever. I mean I may have just cut off a little bit of your sales but you kind of just cured my alcoholism for today. Or at least distracted me from it for a few moments.” There was a small smile on her face and it felt good. 

[ofminah]

Do you ever think about what you'd be like if you weren't in the gang life?

“Well I mean, fuck yeah.” Maybe that was a little too aggressive. “It’s not like I was a 5 year old wanting to be Ivory Hand’s Security Chief when I grew up. It’s not like I was dreaming of how I was going to abandon my entire family.” She was getting a little too sentimental now. “But well sometimes I think about falling in love, which I might be in already, or doing fashion like my mom since that would be fun. But I threw that possibility away a long as time ago so I’ve just learnt to let it go. Nice to think about from time to time but I try not to make myself even more fucked up by thinking about how sad my life is. Ha.” 

[ofminah]

There's a zombie apocalypse, and you can only take three people to travel and survive with? Who do you choose?

“Well the key to any survival team is to first have a badass team of ladies right? I mean the ultimate wet dream is a bunch of girls ready to kickass, I mean I’m pretty sure I’ve had that one before.” There was a joking tone to her voice, although she was being completely serious. “And don’t tell anyone but I obviously have my favorites. I have to have Dohee with me because I love her. Hands down, if I had anything close to a right hand girl or whatever that shit is it would be Dohee. I don’t know I just imagine her being that bitch one day. You know what I mean? Yeah you know what I mean.” A shrug of the shoulders later, “Hyemi is a medic as well so isn’t that like some sort of need? But don’t worry if she can’t kill the zombies because she’s too nice or some shit I’ll just shoot them in the head for her. She can even dress up in a makeshift nurse costume for fun you know?” There was some excuse of a laugh afterwards. “I don’t really give a shit about the third person? Maybe Kyunghee because I know she’s fully capable but I have a feeling she wouldn’t leave Qian behind so there’s another person just like that. And I technically wouldn’t be taking her, that would all be on Kyunghee. There’s my team.”

[ofminah]

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

“Well fuck, wouldn’t me telling you go against the whole point of nobody finding out? Regardless I haven’t done shit.”

That wasn’t a total lie but it wasn’t the whole truth. Minah knew to keep things to herself, even if she did overshare with pretty much everyone she spoke to. There were just certain things that she couldn’t find even herself accidentally revealing. It would take a lot really, for her to not completely fuck things up. Even in this situation where everyone was at each others throats and it didn’t seem the same chill atmosphere everyone once held for each other was going to stick for long. Minah would have to learn to control herself just to not draw attention to the Ivory Hand. And if you knew Minah, you knew that would be more than just a simple struggle. And although Minah hasn’t done anything recently she would hope even her partner in crime Dohee wouldn’t find out about. She knew it could happen anytime. She could lose herself at any time of the day. Almost as if she was a ticking time bomb. It was inevitable that she would go off.

[roseiys]

rosé with flower crown 👑

[ofminah]

[choideokhye]

Ever since the attack on the gambling halls, Deokhye’s paranoia and anger had only heightened. It was almost as though the other gangs were becoming more and more untrustworthy. Who could she even trust anymore? Not that she’d ever really trusted Seung or anyone in the Nameless to begin with, but now it was as if they had given her a reason not to trust them. While she was close to people in the other gangs, the betrayal from who she assumed to be the Nameless had made her question everything. Did she really trust any of them? She loved Dohee, but could Deokhye trust that she wouldn’t betray her at the command of Kyunghee? Would Liau and Qian really cling to their ties with the Bloods if the Lost Boys declared war? Would Soonhee forget her origins and demolish them without bias? She didn’t know anymore. She couldn’t figure out who to trust anymore and with her rage at an all time high with a hair trigger, nothing sounded better than drowning the hours away at the bar. She was already halfway into her fifth drink when the presence of another caught her attention.

[ofminah]

Minah didn’t really trust people. After joining the Ivory Hand she was the type who didn’t go out of her way trusting people who weren’t in her gang. While it was a natural instinct of hers really she still let herself open herself up for people like Minseok or Hyemi. And while Deokhye and her were getting...better. They weren’t 100% trusting of each other. Still they were civil to an extent, more or less whenever they just happened to be drunk together with Dohee in the same room. And while right now probably wasn’t the time to go out being buddy buddy with each other, it was a simple coincidence that Minah happened to want to go to the bar and Deokhye was around. She still skipped a seat or two when she was ready to order, sparing a glance or two in Deokhye’s direction. She didn’t not notice how the girl practically fumed with anger which was a large contrast to the rather calm and well mellow vibes that Minah was sporting. She slumped in her seat, welcoming the line of shots sent her way. She looked over to Deokhye a few times before deciding, ‘fuck it’. Sliding one of the shots in her direction, Minah proceeded with downing one of her own.

[ofminah]

Minah pretended to think about his words for a second, even going as far to tilt her head as if she were in deep thought. After a few seconds though, she gave up on the act. “Well, I dropped out of school years ago. It’s just not as fun as it used to be y’know? Now it’s like, you can’t make money unless it’s benefiting to the economy. And I’d love to learn about medicine to better the world but it’s just not my thing. There’s also not a lot of money going into the arts, explains why we have so many suffering artists trying to sell their mixtape while making conversation in the uber.” She shrugged. Another thing about Minah was that she lost interest quick, she liked fashion like her mom. But there was always a thing about it for her. Was it something she could really pursue? Something she even wanted to pursue? “I’m also the least creative person you could meet. I get drunk to numb the pain and I’m always trying to sleep with someone.” Minah didn’t know what it meant to not be the party girl. It was almost like it was her brand, her permanent label that was forever printed on her forehead. It was so much easier to go through life being who people expected you to be, but it was also tiring. Sometimes she wished she was creative and hardworking enough to be a dancer, or good enough to be anyone else than who was right now. But that seemed almost impossible with how she was going about her life. “You know how people say you should get a hobby? Well mine is drinking. And I’d love to try something new but I don’t really know how? I get what you though. It’s sometimes hard to change really.” It was like she was drunk already. “Fuck sorry.” First time she’s genuinely said that. “You’re not my fucking therapist. I’ll just leave you to it yeah?” She gestured towards the book that he had been reading. “I’ve started talking like a grandma already. Didn’t mean to tell you my entire life story, damn.”

[ofminah]

Minah knew that after it happened there would be shit. She also knew that Kyunghee was pretty good at staying relatively calm about things like this. As the leader, she had to. While everyone else was losing their shit and practically pissing their pants about the incident and the backlash that was to come, the backlash that was already there. Kyunghee had to be the level headed leader to prevent chaos from erupting. But Minah knew her a bit too well to know that it wouldn’t last for long. For the most part, the one that would throw a fit would be Minah. And while Minah would like to think of herself as a complex character there were two sides of her character really. She either didn’t give two shits or she cared too much, resulted in her making various mistakes in a row. But it seemed when you took alcohol out of the equation Minah was suddenly more out of it than usual. It took her a minute to take in what was happening. And while she would have happily shut them all up she was stopped by Kyunghee. “Right. Sorry, I forgot it was irrational to threaten them with guns right? I just hate yelling, they’re giving me a headache.” They weren’t doing much, but the constant complaints and angry glares was enough to irritate her, she placed a hand onto her head for dramatic gesture. “Right so the Wildlings because they did this right?” Of course Minah was bitter, she was always bitter. “You know what, it was probably those fucking Snakes. Always stirring shit up.” It was always easier to point fingers. Especially in a situation like this.

[angstmemes]

Bold what your muse has done in the last twelve months.

[ofminah]

angstmemes:

Been so sick you were bed-bound for at least three days. Gotten so drunk you did something you really shouldn’t have done. Celebrated your birthday with a cake and presents. Had family over or went to family for Christmas. Had something stolen. Cried yourself to sleep. Made a new friend. Met someone you wish you hadn’t. Laughed so hard you couldn’t get off the ground. Had a fight with someone that’s still unresolved. Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Held a gun. Used a gun. Performed/presented in front of at least twenty people. Bought something that cost at least a thousand dollars/pounds. Watched at least one full season of a show. Broken something in anger. Told someone something you were really afraid to admit. Updated your Facebook status. Read or written fanfiction. Been on a plane. Been hospitalized for anything at all. Broken a bone. Been in a car accident. Bought a new item of clothing. Left the country. Prayed to God. Been so disappointed in something you cried. Had sex with more than three different people. Stolen something from a shop or from someone. Kept a diary/journal for the majority of the year. Seen someone die. Killed someone. Got into a fist fight while sober. Seen someone famous. Slept outside involuntarily. Been assaulted by someone. Threatened with a gun or a different weapon. Played an instrument. Played a video game all the way to the end. Finished a whole bottle of wine on your own. Smoked. Went out for meal with someone. Petted an animal that isn’t your own pet. Went to a swimming pool.

[ofminah]

💭IMessage;; Minah Unnie(???)

Qian: oh

Qian: that sounds stressful

Qian: i'm so sorry unnie💔💔

Qian: we don't have to go out in that case

Qian: we can just chill in my apartment

Minah: yeah that'd be for the best probably

Minah: i need to stop myself from drinking myself into a coma

Minah: because it'll probably happen one of these days

[ofminah]

‘That’s cute’ Minah thought, not in a Qian way. Qian was cute because her eyes lit up when she got excited about something and she just loved to talk about the most random things. That was what made her cute, in Minah’s opinion. Not in a Hyemi way because she was cute like one of those disney princesses. Minah didn’t really know what about him came off as cute but it was endearing. And while she would love to get more than a word or two out of him in response she decided it’d be better to get her alcohol and do what she had been wanting to do for weeks now, get drunk. If you knew Minah at all you knew she was a bit of an alcoholic on the down low. And while it may be a bit surprising, she was trying to well, end that. Minah was young and developing this title to her name was something that had just dawned upon her recently. And while she couldn’t just quit on the spot she still wanted to give it a try anyways. Her dependance on the anti depressant was revealed the second she had decided to not drink for more than two or three days. And maybe she shouldn’t be buying another bottle full but temptation had gotten to her. And it was hard to deny temptation when you needed it so bad. “You don’t want to talk do you?” She was already fishing out the amount needed, a slight hesitance in her movements when she handed it to him. “I mean, I know you’re working. But even the convenience store cashier is trying to make conversation when I’m just trying to buy my strawberry milk.” She shrugged, continuing her one sided conversation. “Besides I’m trying to convince myself not to drink this whole bottle in one swing so distraction would be nice. I seriously don’t even need us to talk for hours just a few more minutes before the next bum walks in here after being treated like a charity case just to buy alcohol. Maybe that was a little too descriptive.” The thing was, when Minah was anxious she seemed to talk a lot more than she should. And the only reason she was anxious anyways was because of the substance held in her hands. A sigh left her lips afterwards, “Good talk? I think I’m just gonna hide it under my bed for safe keeping now.” 

[wyjooheon-blog]

CHANCES WERE  that if Siwan could quit his job and solely focus on the gang life; he probably would. Green apron hanging loosely around his small frame as he stood tiredly at the cash register the sleeves of his jet black, cotton sweater pulled over the palms of his hands. It wasn’t like the convenience store was a booming place, located somewhere in between one of the richer neighborhoods and the downtown area, he thought that he’d see a lot more crime. A few fist fights, a couple of robberies which would give him a decent enough excuse to use the gun that the owner of the shop kept hidden under a dirty beige cloth on one of the shelves beneath the register, maybe a murder or two. But it seemed the only people he ran into weren’t the type of criminals he really looked forward to seeing. thick fingers play with his earring, bored eyes set on nothing in particular until he hears the door bell chime, brain going into it’s usual routine of bow, greet and smile. “Welcome to GS35, let me know if I can help you with anything.” It was the formality, mostly, that was his problem; while he was always polite and kind when he needed to be, he didn’t like having to repeat the same phrase over and over, especially when people seemed to shit on him while he was working. At least as a weapons Technician, he was addressed with the same respect he gave out.-Speaking of which, he digs in his back pack for a small book, sitting crossed legged on the bench behind the counter as he opens his book and takes a temporarily glaze in the direction of the customer, “Don’t bother trying to steal.” He warns, skimming the book on sniper rifles for useful information.

[ofminah]

You probably shouldn’t trust Minah with weapons since she had a habit of picking it up and testing it out and well, if she’d never held something like it in her life then she’d probably cause a lot of unnecessary damage. Maybe if you’re too close you’d better have a medic on speed dial. Which she’d finished scolding the newer members on as she watched them train, because she ‘Couldn’t even begin to shit on the idea of nursing the pussies back to health’ But after awhile she had learnt to be more careful in that factor. And well, she had become Security Chief for a reason after all. And while she couldn’t be bothered to actually buy more weapons herself she liked to look at them still. Probably one of the only things she could do on days like these. And while she liked to, as cliche as it was, keep her pistol hidden in her stockings when she wore them, she didn’t ever even think about using anything else. Believe it or not Minah was not a guns type of gal. You can prove that with the long list of bar fights she had been in involving nothing but her gut stabbing heels and drunken punches. The reason Minah wasn’t too fond of guns was because it involved killing and well that almost always ended with death. And death was a sensitive topic, and while most of her job did involve the same gun she couldn’t care to ever seriously use, she still didn’t exactly like having blood on her hands. Figuratively, compared to when she scrapes her knuckles a few times and does end up with blood on her hands. But she still admired the process that went into making the weapon and it seemed to be the only real thing she was interested in besides hard liquor. Politely, she had bowed back without the smile (it was getting harder and harder for her to force something like that) and went about her business. The comment made after had her chuckling though, “Kay.” Was her reply, eyes glancing towards the worker who had occupied himself with the book that she couldn’t help with getting curious about. “Good book?” She had no idea what the cover or title had shown at all and soon she was giving her attention to the light emitting from the selection in front of her.

[ofminah]

Minah didn’t really know what had happened to Lux and while she would have just loved to ask around about something like that she had decided not to. She had also decided that maybe asking Lux right now at this moment was probably not the right move and instead she stuck with her original plan. Where she would talk about anything and everything except the one thing she really wanted to talk about. Mostly because she was probably the last person who would know how to have a conversation like that. For the most part Minah was always being violent with someone. Almost like it was an instinct for her. She couldn’t even begin to be the soft and gentle person she had seen so many of her close friends be. That was just how they were and well Minah wasn’t like that. She was blunt, straightforward and just so harsh about things. It was hard for her to be anything but that. Besides, why would Lux want to talk to her about something as serious as that? As far as she was concerned, Lux couldn’t care less about Minah and any shit that flew from her mouth. And it was fine, really. She had to stop getting close to people she could easily hurt in the blink of an eye anyways. “You’re right I didn’t, should I just eat them all then?” She joked, “Even if I didn’t have to doesn’t mean I didn’t want to. It’s sincere accept it, but I’m still gonna eat another one if you don’t mind.” She picked another small sugary sweet, almost like a mini cake and began taking small bites of it. “Oh, that’s good. Then I can stop worrying about you babe.” She smiled. “It’s hard to see someone you care about in this sort of bed though.” It was an offhand comment, she had never felt that sort of dread fill her heart before. She should probably get used to it quickly. “Hey, don’t do shit like that again okay? It’s a bit much for my little heart.” Another chuckle. It was easy for her to keep the conversation lighthearted for now.