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@ofcigarettesmoke
( hi i’m still alive so is gavin but i just wanna say it’s hilarious and Kind Of Weird to me that detroid become human has a character named gavin reed in the same story line as connor.... when i’ve used bryan dechart as a fc for another character of mine for years also and he knows gavin
( not returning but i noticed tumblr deleted some of my old rp blogs so i’m doing this just to not get deleted lmao. also gav is still being written n he’s doing good. i am doing good also. )
First of all, I apologise to all of those I had just begun plotting with, just begun writing with - but this is something I need to do, and something I am doing for several reasons. Yes, I am leaving the Tumblr RP scene; I am leaving and archiving my blogs so I and my RP partners can look back on them and look back on amazing development, but I will no longer be writing around here. Reasons are simple, really, but I’ll state them either way.
I no longer feel at home around the Tumblr RPC. It’s a toxic environment for me, I’m sad and anxious and I feel pressured to live up to a lot of standards I simply can’t live up to, which all make me feel awful and guilty. I also recently started college/uni, and getting in was hard enough. It’s a demanding programme, and I won’t have time for RP blogs if I want to do well - I’ll feel guilty if I can’t do replies, and I really don’t need those things in my life. Lastly, I spend ALL my free time on Tumblr. If I’m not here but have time, I feel guilty about not being on; I feel like I always have to be here to make others happy and actually be a good RP blog, and I’ve been neglecting all my other hobbies. I need to put myself first, my mental health and my school and my interests, and it’s for those reasons that I am leaving the Tumblr RP scene.
Now, I’m not going to be completely gone. I’ve made a PERSONAL you can find me on, I’m always going to have my TWITTER, and if you shoot me a message at either of those, I’ll happily give out my Skype or email if you wish to continue writing with me.
Thanks so much for all the great times, guys, but I need to do what’s best for me, and that simply is - leaving. I hope to see you all elsewhere, and if not, thank you and have a great, great future. I wish you all the best.
( Belsel. )
Belsel nods at the request, turning to smile at Gavin with a shirt in his hands. ❛Totally. I love sushi. Let’s do that. And just let me buy you one thing, and I’ll be a thing for me and a thing for Raph. Everyone gets a thing. Do I have a deal?❜
❝Yeah, ‘kay, deal. ‘m pretty sure y’ain’t gonna return home without buyin’ me, anyway,❞ laughs Gavin, and then he turns to leave the room with a tiny smile. Once in his room, the boy takes off his clothes and quickly puts on a dark grey Fall Out Boy shirt, clean black jeans and his signature leather black jacket, and he runs a hand through his hair again before he returns to his brother’s room. ❝'m ready t’go.❞
( Belsel. )
❛I know. I just like you to have things.❜ He’s smiling even though it’s kind of SAD – Gavin deserves everything he can get, in his opinion. He gives him a final fond look before turning to his drawers to find something to wear. ❛We’re gonna look good, go out, and have an awesome time.❜
❝I know Bel, but I have things. Thank you for all you’ve been gettin’ me.❞ His words are SO sincere, so genuine - while he may be bad at ACCEPTING all that the angel wants to give him, he IS grateful for everything his brother does. ❝I’ll be back in a few minutes, ‘m jus’ gonna get changed. Can we go for sushi later? I mean, if y’wanna go for food, I’d like tha’. ‘m good with whatever, though.❞
( Belsel. )
❛Oh, I know, Gav. Sorry if I do too much, but – you just deserve it, and I like doing it. Stop me if it really makes you uncomfortable, but if there’s something you’d like, then I’m getting it for you.❜ He gives Gavin a grin and a wink in the mirror before turning to mess up his hair. ❛I’ll just get changed into something less slept in and we can go out into our wonderful city.❜
❝'m jus’ - not really used t’it, ‘s all. I... I don’t want too much, y’know? Jus’... jus’ what I need, n’ then ‘m happy enough.❞ He raises his brows again before he frowns, and then a hand moves up to SOMEWHAT bring his hair back to a less messy state -- though with his hair, that’s a nearly impossible task. ❝'m gonna get changed too, ‘cause ‘m pretty sure my clothes’re messier than my hair.❞
( Belsel. )
❛I’m going to get you things that you really need and want. I want to. It would make me happy. And I will get things for Raphael and I, too. I’ll get myself something silly and you’ll regret telling me it’s okay.❜ He grins, ruffles his brother’s hair, and then gets out of bed and goes to look at himself in his full-length mirror.
❝...jus’ remember I’ve got more than ever, ‘kay? I don’t need much more, ‘m serous, Bel. I can’t even think of anythin’.❞ It’s not that he’s trying to put the angel DOWN, he simply doesn’t want Belsel to be WASTING anything. Gavin is happy with what he has, he appreciates all the little things but already thinks of it as too much - he doesn’t want more, doesn’t want to have to feel guilty about getting anything, even if the angel wants to and can easily afford it. He watches as Belsel gets up and checks himself out in the mirror; is brows raise and he shakes his head in mild amusement before he walks up behind the angel, pulling a weird face that is only JUST visible in the mirror.
( Belsel. )
❛Yeah, yeah – trust me, kid, I don’t have any money issues. I’ve been saving since the dawn of time, and I run a successful bakery – I can afford to get you some nice gifts.❜ He won’t take no for an answer unless Gavin genuinely doesn’t want something, and he’ll be able to tell. ❛I’m sure there are things you need, and things you want, and you can have them. Don’t worry, I’ll get things for myself too, and I’d like to buy Raph a gift.❜
The boy shrugs - Belsel may have a lot of money, he STILL doesn’t want him to spend too much on him. ❝I still don’t want y’t’spend tha’ much on me, Bel. ‘m good with what I have - really. ‘s more than I’ve ever had, so, ‘m happy enough.❞ But the boy knows, too, that these words are useless, because Belsel is Belsel, and he’s going to buy him things whether he WANTS them or not. Just LOOKING at them would probably be enough. ❝Y’should get Raph somethin’, though. ‘n yourself, too.❞
( Belsel. )
❛I’d like to go out. I’ll take you shopping and we can get dinner. I’ll treat you to something, because I’m feeling generous and I forget how rich I actually am sometimes.❜ He laughs, sits up and runs a hand through his hair to flatten it down. ❛I guess we won’t be sleeping much tonight, but that’s okay.❜
❝I’d like tha,❞ Gavin replies, mirroring the other and running a hand through his own hair. He’s never wondered about how much money Belsel has, never realised that the other might be really RICH. The boy’s always been poor - he doesn’t know better than to not be able to afford clothes, to barely be able to get food for four persons; it’s probably because of that that he HARDLY ever asks Belsel to buy him things. ❝Jus’ don’t spend too much on me.❞
( Belsel. )
❛You did, and this is great. I’m glad about it. If this can happen more often, I think it’ll really be very good for you.❜ He doesn’t mind being there for Gavin to help him sleep. He likes sleeping with him, especially when he’s that adorable. ❛We can do anything you want – I want to spent time with you. Because you ARE the cutest.❜
❝I hope it can happen more often,❞ replies the boy sincerely, because he REALLY does; though he may JOKE about it a lot, he knows not sleeping is bad for him, and he truly DESPISES it, despises being so tired all the time. But now he’s slept, peacefully at last, and he feels GOOD. ❝I wanna do somethin’ fun. Maybe go out for a while.❞
( Belsel. )
❛Hmm – few hours, and then a few more. Most of the day, I suppose. I slept too.❜ He yawns a little, too, and then sits up; his hair is messy, sticking up some, but soft, like a bird’s. ❛You needed that, so I’m glad you got it.❜ He smiles, gaze affectionate as he looks at his brother. ❛You are the cutest when you’re asleep.❜
❝...y’always think ‘m the cutest,❞ comments Gavin, brows raised questioningly, but expression revealing the playful nature of the comment. ❝’m kinda surprised I slept tha’ long, though. ‘s -- been a long time.❞ His expression seems faraway for a moment then - stuck in the past for a moment, but then his smile returns, small as it may be ❝I feel good, though. I really needed it.❞
( Belsel. )
Belsel wakes a little after, and he’s aware of the change in the sounds now, in Gavin’s breathing. He’s probably awake, and not wanting to show that yet, so Belsel too remains that way for a while, enjoying the pure peace and comfort of the moment. Finally, though, he stirs, smile appearing as his hand moves to ruffle the boy’s hair. ❛Hey,❜ he mumbles. ❛Awake, sleepy head?❜
He smiles despite the fact that his face is practically HIDDEN from Belsel’s sight, and then he lifts his head, rubs his eyes, and nods. ❝'m awake. Wasn’t sure if you were,❞ he mumbles in response, and then he YAWNS - he’s still a little sleepy, still not FULLY awake, but he’s slowly getting there. ❝How long was I out for?❞
( Belsel. )
There really is nothing more precious than this. Belsel watches Gavin for a little while again, before closing his eyes and allowing himself to drift off, too, because being this comfortable and relaxed has made him tired, and he may as well sleep too, because Gavin seems to be sleeping well, and he knows he’ll wake the instant anything is off, anyway.
He sleeps for a little while again, peacefully and soundlessly, and when he wakes up a few hours later, he’s not so sure Belsel is awake himself, so he remains silent, head still resting comfortably atop his brother’s chest and the blankets comfortably wrapped around him. He curls up a little more, making himself even SMALLER, and although he’s pretty sure he’s awake for REAL this time, he chooses to enjoy the warmth and cosiness a little longer.
( Belsel. )
❛You don’t have to wake up,❜ replies Belsel. ❛You can stay asleep. I’ll just sleep too. All day. All week, if you wanted. And whenever you need to sleep again, you’re doing it, and I’ll help you. It’s not so bad, huh?❜ He shakes his head. ❛No need to thank me. It’s my pleasure.❜
Gavin simply NODS, or tries to, anyway - though moving is too much effort right now. He mumbles a few inaudible words; words that probably don’t even make that much sense to the boy himself, and then he drifts off again, back into his dream- less and peaceful sleep that he so seldom gets to enjoy. It’s nice, sleeping next to his brother, knowing that whatever bad will happen will be chased away by the strong and powerful angel that, somehow, has become Gavin’s reason to TRY – and NOT just try to sleep.
( Belsel. )
❛You are sleepy,❜ he agrees, still with that smile on his face, ❛and adorable.❜ If he wants to stay like that all day, Belsel would be completely happy about it. He’s precious, and he’ll be there to give him this peace and comfort whenever possible. He loves to see Gavin like this. ❛You slept, and I’m glad.❜
❝Don’t wanna wake up yet,❞ he responds softly, and he keeps his eyes closed, enjoying the simple warmth and comfort of the bed and his brother being there. It’s not often that Gavin ENJOYS sleep this much - he can’t even RECALL it has ever been this nice in his life. He slept, and it was something he’d been needing BADLY. ❝...thank you for stayin’ here.❞
( Belsel. )
Well, if that isn’t the most ADORABLE thing he’s ever seen in his whole entire LIFE. He’s feeling sleepy, too, but he’s awake enough to run his fingers through the boy’s hair, smiling in the way that only truly beautiful things get him to smile.
❝'m still sleepy,❞ he mumbles, fighting to keep his eyes open. ❝But I slept.❞ Gavin glances at his brother for a moment, and then he closes his eyes again as his breathing slows down a little - he’s not quite ASLEEP, but not entirely awake, either, and it’s a NICE feeling.
