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@ofcteddy
@caslinne: @hugteddy i’m not going to give you an aneurysm, don’t worry! i’m just being honest. i’ll wipe away the tears teddy, don’t worry
@hugteddy: @caslinne you ARE going to give me an aneurysm ok my head is going to fill with so much love and adoration that it is going to explode and then i will be DEAD cas, DEAD, so you have to stop you are a menace.
@hugteddy: @caslinne wait i take that back i am so sorry you are not a menace you are the garden of eden
@xaviroj: @hugteddy oh you betta don’t, darlin’. xavi is such amazing name and it think it suits him just so well!! and belive me, every single time i watch this, my day is gonna be made and all thanks to the lovely kid in curls.
@hugteddy: @xaviroj xavi is the best name for a bear hands down and to be fair the whole thing was inspired by that guy with the luscious locks
It’s so horrible. Why can’t everyone just love each other even if there’s one part of us that is different than what people consider ‘normal’.
Even people that think we're going to some version of Hell for our "lifestyle choices"—just, I dunno, we're not dragging them to Hell with us? What's the point? Why do they care?
—- — I — Jesus, Teddy.
I should probably apologise for being cheesy but, like, I'm really not sorry about it.
@stfukaena: because that’s what babies do @hugteddy
@stfukaena: love the world, shit their pants and give these terrifying, toothy smiles at everyone @hugteddy
@hugteddy: BABIES SPREAD JOY AND WONDER AND LAUGHTER @stfukaena
@hugteddy: and i don't think not being jaded and cynical means i am somehow underdeveloped i just like to believe in people and in the world around me because bad stuff happens sometimes and that's all we hear about but we hear about it 'cause it's an interruption in the good stuff happening all the time. but nobody shares things that are the norm and maybe we should @stfukaena
find me here | teddy & ollie
Ollie wasn’t all that sure what he had actually been expecting, but it was a bit refreshing to realize that Teddy was actually just as he had presented themselves’ online. Well, that, and that there was definitely no reason for Teddy to worry about trying to be attractive. It was a surprise to realize that he actually had to look up a little to meet Teddy’s eyes, but that made him actually want to laugh. If not pout just to see what their reaction would be.
It did take him a second or two, though, to come up with a proper response to all of Teddy’s (far too sweet) ramblings. “Car accidents are far more frequent so, really, the train was the way to go. And, well, so long as you’re thinking about sneezing you usually can’t manage it so I’d say you’re safe.” It was the last part that pleased him the most, although he felt like a giant idiot for it. “If I’m wonderful then you’re lovely. I’m fully prepared to wage a war of the adjectives with you over this.”
Because Teddy was lovely and about everything else under the sun, bloody hell.
It was impossible not to perk up at the mention of cookies when he stepped inside, though, especially not when they came with extra sweets already built in. “If you get the cookies then I’ll sneak awkwardly through your fridge long enough to get some milk.” He shook his head, huffing a laugh. “I’m gonna have to do my best to figure out what your favorite sweet is after this to repay you, you know.”
Which implied that there would be a next time which was safe…right?
"Oliver Watson," Teddy said once they'd closed the door behind Ollie, voice silky-serious and vaguely appalled as they turned back to him, "If you attempt to wage a war of the adjectives with me, you will lose."
It was a joke, mostly; Teddy did smirk around the words, enough so that the dimple on their left cheek revealed itself, but they weren't entirely kidding. Teddy could wax poetic and philosophical on Ollie's endless charms—the glint in his eye, the soft shine to his hair, the achingly endearing way he talked about his daughter. Teddy was fully prepared to go there.
"But actually, I think you can be wonderful and I can be lovely without either one being compromised, love," Teddy shrugged, lightly tapping the tip of Ollie's nose with their index finger, "We don't need to make it a whole competition. Now then! Cookies! And feel free to go through my fridge and all my cabinets and everything. It's really not awkward. We don't keep the bodies there, so. We do, however, keep like, four different types of milk, so if you're feeling coconut or almond or soy instead of plain old cow, you can indulge yourself."
Actually, Teddy's fridge probably did have a lot of food that wasn't in most people's fridges, like flaxseed and kale and romanesco and starfruit and a whole heap of imported and often strangely colored fruits and vegetables, but they were so accustomed to those that they didn't really think it might've been odd for someone else to encounter them. Everyone kept bizarre, fractal-esque green foods in their fridge, right?
But Teddy lit up like the sun when Ollie mentioned an after this, trying and failing to not look too pleased by it as they grabbed the box of cookies, somewhat-freshly-baked not by Teddy (because then the cookies would be inedible) but by the grocery-deli-bakery 'round the corner, whose cookies had never once failed Teddy in a time of need and indulgence. "Well, I like all sweets a lot," they said, feigning nonchalance as they arranged the cookies onto a plate, "Like, a lot, but I'm also really into cupcakes."
Yeah, it’s a very traditional type shop and I don’t think he even reads any of the books in there. Oh, that sounds really cool! I’ll definitely check that out the next time I go there.
Oh. I kind of—I'm getting kinda burnt out on hearing about all these people shutting people out just because of something that's really, like, trivial and none of their business and doesn't have anything to do with them and I'm just. I want people to be happy and safe all the time.
I have to use Urban Dictionary far more than I’d like to admit. I know like, no slang.
I’ve never watched porn of any kind. But I have heard about that Two Girls One Cup thing. And just hearing about it made me wanna puke.
I promise most porn isn't that upsetting. I mean, it's kinda a weird thing and like, I get anxious thinking about it because sometimes you're just like, "I'm not sure how much everyone involved is enjoying this," but it's always an interesting land to wander into when you're curious about something.
Maybe it’s when they like…bump them on the dance floor? I agree, slang is confusing.
I don’t think so…scissoring doesn’t seem bumper-y.
Now I really want to know what it means, but Urban Dictionary isn't being very helpful for once.
I think I might have to test it out via the porn route. Hopefully I don't stumble across anything too problematic or upsetting.
I can 99.9% guarantee that I’ve never looked at a dot of Arabic or Urdu. At this point, it’ll be much harder to learn even more languages, but a linguist could only dream…
Really? That's so upsetting. Here I thought it was all cool like, oh, the more you know the better you are at learning more, like there's some exponential learning curve. And I've only read a translation of the Qur'an, but they had the original Arabic on the other side of each folio, and it's really so magically lovely to look at. You should check it out, even if you can't learn it.
I want one.
That is like, the cutest thing I have ever seen. Oh, and the puppy's alright, too.
Je suis tellement putain énervé! I’m not allowed to go back to my favourite bookstore because the owner doesn’t ‘agree with my lifestyle’. I also fell on the pier today and cut my knee. This is not a happy day.
The bookstore owner? Gosh, I always thought, 'cause of where I grew up, that the literatti types were, like, very socially progressive. If you're in London, there's a bookshop called Gay's the Word that I really love. You should check it out.
You’re a well maintained —- - twink?
I like to be prepared and hygienic!!! I don't know if I'd call myself a twink, but like, body hair can get so unsightly if I want to wear a dress or cheekies or something.
why would you look it up…?
And as if I have a clue, old people have problems seeing. They’re basically blind sometimes.
I just said I don't know why!!! I have a morbid curiosity. When someone tells me they've seen something horrible, I feel like I need to see it too. The problem is that I think I am a bit sensitive. It was so awful. This has to be a hoax. Though it would make sense if the grandfather had poor sight...
@caslinne: @hugteddy of course i remember teddy! i remember basically everything about you, actually. and sounds good! i’ll see you soon then :)
@hugteddy: @caslinne you can't just say stuff like that im gonna have an ANEURYSM i literally just wiped a tear of joy you are the sweetest and the best my darling cas
I think it’s about sex, but not sure about the butt sex part? I heard it in like a lesbian context. But yes, it is weird.
I mean, as far as I know, lesbians still have butts... I don't know. I'm not good at decoding slang. Everyone should just say what they mean.
Is it like scissoring? But that's called scissoring. I don't know what a bumper is.
find me here | teddy & ollie
It was a bit difficult to explain to Elaine that Daddy was heading out for the night so it would be Mrs. Fitz that would be putting her off to bed. It took a promise of extra cookies to go with a warm glass of milk and a number of hugs that bordered on clinging for her to let Ollie leave. Even Mrs. Fitz continued to see eye him, insisting that he call once he got the chance to ensure her that all had gone well.
Apparently signing him up for a dating service had seemed like a good idea until she realized that it meant most of the people he met would be able to evade her usual, rigorous inspection. Thank God his laptop was password protected or else he would have to have a very awkward sit down later (although she probably would have seen the cookies part coming).
It was a bit of a trek still to get from Islington over to Camden, but the tube system hardly ever failed him. Mrs. Fitz technically had a car he could use, but the thing tended to be broken or on the fritz (pun only slightly intended) more often than not so it was rarely used except when one was feeling determined. The tube, at least, could be counted on not to be too expensive, just like the bus system up above.
It wasn’t like he had to move far out all that often. Just for the places Elaine might need to go from the bakery, like the doctor’s, or over to…
But, no, he didn’t want to be thinking about that tonight. Not when he was actually going to be with someone he actually liked without the hassle of haggling a price or being shooed away afterwards (at least he hoped on the latter).
The text message pushed away the last of his nerves, at least, making him laugh loud enough for people to eye him on the street.
well I’m at your front door, he fired back, so best get any sneezing out of the way and arrive down at least somewhat decent.
Teddy had started Google searching 'london tube accidents' on their phone when they received Ollie's reply text—not because Ollie was taking a long time (he wasn't), but because Teddy wanted to make absolutely sure nothing had happened to leave Ollie dead or otherwise injured all because Ollie was coming to visit them. He had a child. Death was not allowed to befall him. (No train accidents as of that moment had been reported. All was well.)
Of course, that only meant that when the text did arrive and Ollie was, lo and behold, safe and sound and at Teddy's front door (!!!!!), they felt kind of ridiculous for Googling. Except not, because you never know. They hopped up from where they'd sprawled across the couch and slid on socks across the floor's smooth wood paneling to the front door, resting a hand on the doorknob in case, in a horrible fit of irony, they did have to sneeze right in that moment.
When no sneezes came, they opened the door, almost hesitant at first before finally just throwing it open and beaming at the person on the other side. Ollie was adorable in person—online, too, but overwhelmingly so in person—so blond and cheeky and sweet. Shorter than Teddy was, not by much yet they hadn't really expected it, but Teddy liked that. It was like they could bundle him up. "Did you know that the last tube accident was in 2010," they blurted out, wholly graceless, "A train was being towed for maintenance and it got detached from the towing train and just totally ran away. Also, I didn't sneeze, so don't worry, crisis averted. Also also, hi, you look wonderful, you are wonderful, come in, um, this is my flat."
After that very intelligent and articulate string of rambling, they stepped aside so Ollie could actually come inside, and—that was it. This was it. Whatever it was, it was happening right then. Hopefully Ollie would still want to be their friend, after, and it wouldn't just be some weird cookies-and-snogging-and-maybe-more thing. "Do you want anything? Like water, or food, or... I set out the cookies! As promised. With chocolate chips."
