「影よ!それは君が求め続ける故、それは君が人たる故」 ☆
📂 TRI ! ! she/him 20 𖦆 eng/esp
→ m.list | rules | carrd | backup account
→ recent work: you & me - childhoodfriend!scaramouche x fem!reader [oneshot]
anons: 🎸, 🎀
© offbrandkyoya - don’t repost/steal my work
Today's Document
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement
Not today Justin

titsay

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Kaledo Art
Game of Thrones Daily
d e v o n
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
Misplaced Lens Cap

if i look back, i am lost
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@offbrandkyoya
「影よ!それは君が求め続ける故、それは君が人たる故」 ☆
📂 TRI ! ! she/him 20 𖦆 eng/esp
→ m.list | rules | carrd | backup account
→ recent work: you & me - childhoodfriend!scaramouche x fem!reader [oneshot]
anons: 🎸, 🎀
© offbrandkyoya - don’t repost/steal my work
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING MY REQ IT WAS AMAZING!!! :DDDDDDDD and it seems like other people liked the idea too hehejrwhw ^_^ srsly thank uu!!!!
YW YW!!!!!!!!! I’m so happy you like it !!! ❤️❤️
Ik so many of you cried like omg…am I that good LMAO much love though
as someone who constantly lurks in the scaramouche x reader tag, seeing your posts are like finding gems 😭❤️ first the girly reader x scaramouche and now this childhood friend reader x scaramouche. i’m not even done reading it but it’s so good wthh
AW THANK YOU SO MUCH ☹️☹️☹️ that means so much to me !!!!!!
umm whoopsi ;; i just remembered i forgot a few details on my req HSJSJSH sorry!!
reader has really liked scaramouche for a long time, scara has known—but in hs since scara began to grow more popular and stuff a lot of people would wanna ask him out and there’s some rumors of him dating ppl, so reader gets sad from hearing these things
but actually it’s not true. !! and one day scara tells her that he only likes her and she was worrying about false things ^_^
okok fhank you!!
yall really love when scaramouche hates you
childhood friends to lovers trope w fem reader who loves cute things and scara whos an asshole? lol except it kinda goes wrong for a bit ..? hhsjssjd okokok so basically,,
reader and scaramouche have been friends for a long time, since childhood basically and they’d always do things tg and give small gifts! scara gave reader a gift, like a plush for her to cling to whenever she was down in elementary school (maybe a cat plush bc.. it reminds her of scara.. cause he’s cat coded) and reader has stuck with it for years bc it was so special !! but then from the shift to middle school to high school, scara began to change and sought out validation from others—he knew that a lot of people liked him-so he kinda abandoned reader for the crowd and popularity and sometimes would even make fun of her a bit (even if he doesn’t mean it truly)… hwhwhwhgh
and reader ended up becoming more timid bc she was always around scara in the past and without him she’s more shy. basically the only thing that could bring comfort was the plush that he gave her and it’s what she’s always stuck with, but scaramouche notices that she still clings to it and makes fun of her for it
reader doesn’t even have a place in the cafeteria to sit bc she doesn’t feel welcome/is too shy so she just walks around the halls or finds somewhere quiet and alone to sit while hardly eating anything and then scara on some days, …. he finds reader and sits with her. and sometimes would even do small acts for her. he doesn’t say it out loud for a long time but it’s a way to show that he still cares. he doesn’t say it until a long while later :3
AGGHHH GHIS IS TOO LONG I FEEL LIKE im sorry 😭😭 whatever you write is just so enjoyable to read and i really like your oneshots.. THANKS
You & Me - Scaramouche (genshin)
best friends last together, don't they?
contents: fem!reader, scaramouche is the devil, jkjk, angst towards the end im sorry.., you fell first he fell harder yadayada, I wrote this while ovulating and you can tell 💀, readers mom is the number one shipper, ei is NOT terrible in this, proofread a bit
word count: 9k
a/n: um I think I accidentally changed some stuff. IM SO SORRY THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS WHEN I LOCK IN😞 I made scaramouche too much of an asshole and I tried to fix it..tbh I kinda had a hard time tying it all together so the end portion is so awful you can kill me 😭 I wanted to get this done before my birthday so yeah KILL ME. im sorry this isn't great like at all but I hope you enjoy it anyway!
a/n 2: I wrote all the above the day before my birthday so lets just ignore the fact I lied and that this is two days late 😁
You weren’t sure why, but the empty house next door had suddenly started attracting visitors. Boxes were constantly being carried in and out, and cars came and went throughout the day. When you asked your parents about it, they explained what was happening, but you quickly forgot after becoming distracted by watching the activity through the window.
It was the winter season, arguably the worst time for moving, but you didn’t comprehend that. Your curious eyes lingered on the people until you spotted a small boy exiting the car with his mother. He appeared to be of the same age as you, and you were instantly captivated. After staring for so long, the boy noticed you, prompting you to duck down.
"Y/N, what're you doing?" Your mother asked.
"Nothing, Mommy!" You answer and squat for another 10 minutes. Slowly, you lift your head up and see that the boy is long gone.
Letting out a sigh of relief, you head to your room to go back and play.
The next day, your mother interrupts your Barbie playtime and rummages through your closet. "Come on and get ready." She tells you, but you pout.
"But why, mommy? Where are we going?" She turns to you with your coat.
"We're going to say hello to our new neighbors."
"New neighbor?" You get up, and she helps you get dressed.
She nods, "Yes. Your daddy already said hello before going to work. Now, it's our turn."
Your mom places a hat on your head and wraps a scarf around your puffed jacket. You hadn't realized she was already dressed for the snow. "There's a boy just your age." She says. "You two could be best friends."
Your heart thumps. There weren't many kids around your neighborhood, and if there were, they were much older than you. There was a mix of excitement and nervousness in your belly. You weren't sure what to expect from this boy. Still, you tried to remain composed so you wouldn’t scare him off. Maybe he was just as nervous? Only one way to find out.
As you stepped out of the house, the snow had once again fallen, and you could hear your mother muttering to herself about the need to shovel. You watch as the door closes carefully, then notice the neighbor's door open. Fearfully, you clutch your mom's pants. She looks at you in surprise before following your gaze. She smiles widely, "Oh, hello! We were just about to see you!" She shouts with a wave.
A tall, scary-looking woman with long hair stood on the steps. She was quite gorgeous but intimidating. Despite your assumptions, she smiles kindly and waves back. "That's very thoughtful of you." She says without raising her voice. It shook you at how you were able to hear her.
Your eyes glance down, and you see the boy again. He stood next to his mother, and his face was just as scary as hers. You shiver and grow closer to your mom. She holds your hand and carefully walks down the steps. The two mothers reach the middle of the snow, both holding their children's hands for safety.
"This is my daughter, Y/N." Your mom introduces you, and you wave shyly.
"Hello." You squeak, and the other mother smiles more.
"My, she's adorable." She comments before looking down at her grumpy son. She gives him a gentle shove, "This is my son Scaramouche. Say hello, dear."
You couldn't help but stare. His cheeks were round and rosy, and his jacket wasn't as thick as yours. He wore a scarf, earmuffs, and gloves, though. Scaramouche did not look happy at all, and it scared you. You hold your mom's hand tight, not wanting her to disappear from you. Scaramouche looks to the side, then at you, almost in regret.
"Hello, Y/N." He replies roughly.
Your cheeks immediately flush. You ignore his mom scolding him for his attitude. Your gaze is relentless because this single interaction marked the beginning of it all. Not only did he respond, but he even mentioned your name. That's crazy for a five-year-old.
Even though you kept staring, kind of creepily in some ways, you were amazed by him. The only kid your age, along with the fact that he's also a boy? You didn’t realize it at the time, but that feeling would follow you for the rest of your life.
The winter snow was enough for the two of you to bond by him throwing snowballs at you. It was an attempt for you to leave him alone, but you saw it as playtime, so you threw back. It was irritating at first, but Scaramouche found himself having fun in the end.
When he went outside again, he noticed that you weren't there waiting by your door like always. He assumed you were running late, so he, slowly, walked down the steps to your home. With his tiny little body, it looked like the snow was devouring him, but he pushed on. Scaramouche dusts off some snow clumps that stuck to his jacket and knocks on your door.
It was your father. He was caught off guard seeing Scaramouche, then smiled because he put together what he's here for. "Sorry, Scaramouche," He begins. "But Y/N can't play today. She's sick." The boy's eyes widened a little, then vanished to that angry face of his. It got a chuckle out of your dad.
Scaramouche walked back down in dissatisfaction and waddled in the snow to his home.
Your father watched him get home safely before closing the door. "Who was it, honey?" His wife asks, and he turns to her. "It was Scaramouche. He was looking for Y/N."
She frowns, a bit saddened. "Aw, poor boy. Those two have really been hitting it off lately."
He nods, "I'm sure our daughter will get better soon."
You did not get better soon. The next two days, Scaramouche was told you were still sick. From what he heard from his mother, you had a bad headache. He wasn't quite sure what a fever was, but he assumed you were dying. Bad headache, running nose, sweating, and feeling intense heat? That sounded like a complete nightmare.
Scaramouche had never gotten sick, so he thought this was life-threatening.
When his mom finished telling him the symptoms, she was taken aback at seeing that her son was crying. She crouched down again and pet his head. "Scaramouche, it's okay. Y/N will be fine, most kids get sick this time of year." She says in a soothing voice. As sad as it was seeing her son cry, she did find it quite adorable. 'To think this boy finally found someone to care for.' She thought as she held him.
Suddenly, an idea came to mind. Gently, she pulls her son away so she can see his face clearly. "How about giving her a small gift?" She suggests. "When she sees it, it'll give her the power to get better." Scaramouche never thought of doing something like that. He never really gave anyone a gift before. But at 5 years old, he believed that this was the answer.
"Like magic?" He asked, and she nodded.
Scaramouche wiped his tears and gave his mother a determined expression. "Okay!"
Throughout your sickness, you've been lying in bed all day, every day.
You were so exhausted and hot that it was making you sad. You really wanted to play with Scaramouche. You kept having dreams about him and how you'd win the snowball fights when in reality you're the loser. All these dreams and scenarios just make you miss him even more. A tear slips down your face as you bury yourself deeper under your blanket.
'Time to take another nap.' You thought with a sniffle.
The bedroom door squeaks open, but it's not enough for you to uncover. You can faintly hear footsteps approaching you, then stop. A hand shakes your body, but you don't move.
"She's asleep." It was your mom's voice. "I'll put this here." She begins to whisper.
You can sense something being placed next to you.
"Get better soon, baby." She says as she pets your head. "Someone is waiting for you."
Then, she plants a kiss on top before quietly exiting the room. Once you hear the door shut, you peek out and see a stuffed bear staring right at your face. It was brown and fluffy-looking. It even had a red bow on its neck. It was quite big but cute. You continue to stare at it more. The most notable part, in your opinion, was the frown it wore. It kind of reminded you of someone.
'Someone is waiting for me…' It repeats in your head. A small smile appears on your face as you nuzzle into the stuffed animal. For the first time ever, you slept well.
The next day, you got better, but you weren't allowed outside. Though you were sad Scaramouche didn't come. You stare at the bear sitting on your bed. "Maybe he's sick too?" You stood up from your rug and climbed onto your bed. You pet the bear's head, "It's okay, Scarabear." Then you kiss its forehead. "Mommy and daddy give me kisses to get better." Suddenly, an idea pops into your head.
You grab one of your plush bears, much smaller than your gift, and run towards your mom. "Mommy, mommy! Scaramouche is sick!" You say, and both your parents were confused.
"What? Why do you think that?" She asks, and you immediately get sad.
"Because he isn't here…"
Your parents look at each other. They know why he wasn't here. It was because you can recover better without getting him sick, too. They didn't expect you to get so upset about it. Your dad puts his coffee down to explain, but you speak up.
"So, I'm going to make him feel better!" You exclaim and show them your bear. "If he gets one, he won't be sick anymore! I need to give it to him, please?"
Your dad was beyond bewildered, but your mom laughed. She kneels down to you, "But there's a lot of snow. Are you sure you can handle it?"
You nod with determination. She laughs again, "Alright. Put your coat on."
You hurriedly run to your room as your mom watches with amusement.
"Honey, she just got better." Your dad intervenes.
"I know, but it'd be good for her. Besides, I can't say no to young love."
"What…?"
After you and your mom get ready for the winter, much to your dad's dismay, you head over to Scaramouche's home. Your mom is the one who knocks on the door as you stand there nervously. You kind of regret doing this now, but it's too late. You squeeze the teddy bear, hoping it will provide some comfort. A few more seconds, and the door swings open. Scaramouche's mom stands there with a smile, and you can see Scaramouche peeking behind the staircase.
The two of you made eye contact, which caused him to run up the stairs.
You pout a little, and the women clearly notice. "Y/N, what do you have there?" She asks while pointing.
You shuffle your feet shyly. "Um…it's for Scaramouche…"
Slowly, your arms stretch to show her the stuffed animal. Scaramouche's mother smiles even more. "That's very kind of you. He's going to love it." Your smile reappears again. The mothers giggle. 'Children cheer up so fast.'
You're about to hand her the bear, but you remembered something. You plant a kiss on its head, then hand it to her. "So, he can get better!" You say without realizing how much of a big deal that kiss was. The women stare at you, stunned, and to top it off, Scaramouche witnessed it. You didn't notice him, but he did end up coming down again because he was curious and relieved that you weren't dead.
When he saw what you’ve done, he instantly freaked out.
Scaramouche has only been kissed by his mom and no one else. He had seen couples kiss in movies and TV shows, so he knew it was a big deal. He's more knowledgeable on that part than you. Scaramouche couldn't wrap his head around it. Why on earth would you do that?
"Scaramouche?"
He snapped out of it to find his mother standing right in front of him. He glances to the doorway, and you are gone.
"Why didn't you come say hi? She was looking for you." She asks sharply
Scaramouche looks down in shame. "Sorry, mommy."
She lets out a small sigh before showing him the bear. "Here. It's a gift for you. Isn't that sweet?"
Scaramouche inspects it all over before staring at the spot you had kissed it on.
"Say thank you when you see her, alright?"
She walks off, leaving him standing there alone. He replays the scene in his head. From what he heard from last night's movie, if a girl kisses you, it means they love you. But it's much more different than the love a mother gives. Scaramouche is a bright kid, but he's stupid when it comes to love.
He can feel his heart pump with his cheeks turning red. He pulls the bear close to his chest and nuzzles its head.
'Y/N loves me.'
You were still surprised when you saw Scaramouche transfer to your elementary school.
Winter had passed, and spring had arrived. During one of your playdates, you overheard your parents talking with his mother about his education. Your mom mentioned that you could show him around and assured her that the school was good overall. Of course, you barely paid attention—you were too busy trying to beat Scaramouche at Jenga.
When Scaramouche was introduced, he was told to sit next to you because the teacher had heard you lived next door.
"It'd make you feel more comfortable." She told him.
Scaramouche listened and sat right next to you. You didn't say hi, though, because you felt everyone was watching. You didn't really have many friends and played all on your own. You knew the teachers pitied you, but you never did anything to change. So, seeing that all it took for Scaramouche to appear for them to notice you, it really made you want to cry.
When it was time for activities, several kids tried to talk to Scaramouche. He responded with short, one-word answers and showed little interest in interacting with them. Eventually, the others gave up and went off to do their own thing. The class was doing arts and crafts, and although you tried to focus on your project, you could feel him staring at you. The attention made you incredibly nervous, leaving your palms sweaty.
"Why didn't you say hi to me?" Scaramouche asks with a gruff voice.
You shrugged, and you could just tell he was wearing that angry frown of his.
"Fine. I don't care." It was a complete lie. He obviously cared since he asked in the first place.
Arts and crafts was miserable since you both ignored each other. You felt terrible, but you were scared. You didn't want Scaramouche to have no friends because of you.
Since the weather was nice, recess took place outside.
Scaramouche was invited to play soccer, and he immediately left you alone. It was an instinct to follow him, but you stopped when you remembered what you did in arts and crafts. Sadness washed over you again, and you went to play with the chalk.
Since everyone had friends, they'd play at the playground, but not you. You would draw chalk all on your own in a little corner. It didn't bother you at first, but with Scaramouche here, you felt like a loser. Still, you hoped drawing your favorite cartoons would make you feel better. It worked as you blocked out your surroundings.
After drawing the fifth flower, you were happy with your masterpiece so far. You look in the chalk box to grab another to color in. However, you ended up dropping a couple, and one rolled close to where the boys were playing soccer. You hadn't realized and were just focused on getting it back. You got up, ran to it, and successfully picked it up. You were about to go back when you heard a shout.
"Watch out!"
You look up, and it was like a flash. The soccer ball collides into your face, tumbling you to the ground. The teacher and kids ran over to you to see what happened. You sat up and started to cry when feeling the intense pain. The teacher scolded the boys while trying to comfort you.
"It was an accident!" One of them said.
"She shouldn't have been there in the first place!" It was the boy who hit you. It was clear to Scaramouche that he felt no remorse and would do anything to avoid apologizing. He felt the anger boil inside him, and if he wasn't angry enough, he was about to be.
"Teacher! There's something coming out of her nose!" One of the girls points at your face.
The teacher gasps while you touch what she's talking about. There, through your misty tears, you can see the stain of red on your fingers. That immediately made you cry even harder because you really felt like it was the end of the world. Well, it was the end of the world for the boy who hurt you because Scaramouche swiftly turned to him and punched his face.
Everyone gasps, and the teacher stands up. "Scaramouche, why did you do that?!"
He didn't answer and watched as the boy tumbled to the ground. "Say sorry." He told him. "Or I'll hit you again." The boy bursts into tears, which made Scaramouche go on top of him, lifting a fist. "You have to say sorry!"
The teacher immediately picks him up, but Scaramouche grabs his t-shirt to prevent being apart from him.
"Scaramouche, let go!" She screams, and he shakes his head.
It was a struggle, but she got him to let go and placed him far from the other kid. Crouching down, she told him, "Scaramouche, you can't hit another classmate! That's wrong." Scaramouche wasn't happy about that statement. He crossed his arms in protest. "I'll have to tell your mom if you don't apologize." His eyes widen in disbelief. He hated it when his mom was angry; it was scary.
"Scaramouche!" You cried and stood up.
"Yn, stay there! I'll help you to the nurse's office." The teacher stands, but you ignore her and run to Scaramouche in tears.
You hug him tightly, the blood messing up his uniform. "Scaramouche!" His heart swells as he hears you cry in sorrow. What he did was dumb, but he believed that guy deserved it. Still, it ended up scaring you. You never want to see him hurt another kid for your sake.
Scaramouche hugs you back, giving a pat on your head. "Don't cry, Y/N. That's for babies."
"Scaramouche!" The teacher scolds him again, and recess got ended much earlier than it should have.
When it was time to go home, your teacher had to talk with your parents, Scaramouches' mom, and the boys' parents. The adults were engrossed in a heated argument, leaving you children to sit and observe. Scaramouche was blamed a lot, not surprisingly, while the other boy was seen as a victim.
"My daughter was hit because of your son!" Your mom argues. "Scaramouche was only defending him like a good friend!"
"By punching him?!" The mother screams.
"Well, he kicked a soccer ball to her face, so he got it easy."
"What?!"
"Honey, calm down." Your father tells her. "You're scaring, Y/N."
Scaramouche's mom coughs to gain their attention. "My son is known to react before he can think. I'll make sure to give him a lesson." She looks down at him and says, "Apologize, Scaramouche."
He looked away from her. It's that attitude of his that really gets under people's skin. She knows what button to press to get him to talk.
"If you don't, say goodbye to playing with Y/N."
He stiffens and immediately looks back at her. "No, mommy!"
With a stern look, she orders him to apologize again. Much to his dismay, he did. The other boy ended up apologizing to you after that. You forgave him, but you wanted to cry again. You have never seen Scaramouche look so sad before.
The adults talked a bit more before finally going home.
"I'm so sorry about this." Scaramouche's mother tells yours. "He gets angry easily, but I didn't think he'd go that far."
Your mom smiles, "He was just protecting his best friend. Isn't that right?"
Scaramouche nods slowly, gripping his mom's hand.
"Still, he knows that fighting isn't the answer. I'm going to have to implement that to him even more."
"I'm sorry, mommy." He mumbles, and to you, he really did look like he was going to cry.
You let go of your mom's hand and go give him a hug. Then, you pull away and pat his head. "Don't cry, Scaramouche. Crying is for babies." You tell him with a cute smile.
His face flushes red, and he pushes you away. "I'm not crying! And I'm not a baby!" He runs off to the car in utter embarrassment. He was acting all tough until now. That was so uncool. His mom apologizes on his behalf and runs after him.
Instead of feeling hurt, you laugh and run back to your mom. "Mommy, Scaramouche is a baby, isn't he?" She bursts out laughing, too, "Oh, sweetie, when did you learn to talk like that?"
"Scaramouche told me!"
She grabs your hand and begins to walk to your car. "Hm, you really like him, don't you?"
You nod with enthusiasm. She smiles down at you, "That's good. Promise me, you two will remain friends, okay?"
You nod again. "Yes, mommy!"
The following day, many children no longer wanted to befriend Scaramouche.
He really didn't care, and he honestly found it ridiculous.
When he sat down next to you, tired already from everyone staring at him, he was greeted by your presence. "Hi, Scaramouche." You said, smiling widely. You were so happy, and it made him feel a wave of relief.
He smiles too, not as big as yours, but it means something. "Hi, Y/N."
With Scaramouche in your life, you finally felt joy and companionship.
It was just you two in your little world. You'd always be by each other's side, playing in one or the other's home. You guys even celebrated holidays together. This led to a habit of many, many gift-giving. Scaramouche mostly saw it as a competition to upstage you, but you didn't see it that way. He'd often get disappointed that you liked the gift, no matter how spectacular it was. He couldn't comprehend that all you wanted was him right next to you. It just felt right, even if he was grumpy most of the time.
However, as you reached the end of elementary school, you began to panic.
Scaramouche and his mom came over. Immediately, you dragged him to the couch to watch T.V. His mother went to the dining table where your mom had prepared drinks and snacks. You were focused on the T.V. until you overheard them discuss which middle school you'd be attending.
You immediately begin to panic. 'Does that mean Scaramouche is going somewhere far away?' Your lip begins to tremble as you feel your entire body shake. Immediately, you throw yourself at him in tears. Scaramouche's face flushes, but he tries to pry you off.
"Y/N, what are you doing?!"
"Scaramouche, don't leave me!"
His eyebrow raises, and he stops pushing you. "What are you talking about?"
You sniffle, "Next year…you're going to leave me!"
Scaramouche was beyond puzzled. 'What on earth is this girl talking about?!' He starts petting your head to try to calm you down. "I'm not leaving. Stop saying dumb things!"
"It's not dumb!" You cry and finally look at him.
He can feel his heart tingling upon seeing your tear-soaked face. It really did suck seeing you cry. He's always trying to prevent you from feeling so sad because that's what he thought his purpose was. But what he hated even more was when you were mad at him.
"Scaramouche, aren't you my friend?!" You wipe your eyes using your arm. "Don't you want to go to school with me?"
Scaramouche sits there still, taking in his thoughts. 'This girl…' He lets out a huff before holding your hand and getting you off the couch. He leads you to the front door, "Mommy, we're going outside." He says, then leaves. Scaramouche forces you to follow him to his own house.
You wait at the steps as he goes under the mat to grab the extra key. You weren't crying as much as before. You started to become amazed at how smart he was. It made you feel foolish for crying in the first place.
Once the door opens, you both walk inside and to his room.
"I was waiting until it was the first day of school." He begins when rummaging in his closet.
You watch him closely and notice him pulling out a stuffed cat. “Here.”
Slowly, you grab it and observe its cute features.
"So, you don't have to be lonely."
You look up at him, and his cheeks flush red.
"I'm always with you, Y/N. So, I don't want you crying."
You smile a little and look at it again. Closing your eyes, you kiss the cat's forehead. Scaramouche's eyes widen as he remembers the time when you kissed the bear. However, you're both in the same room, and he's so up close. He can see clearly the faint blush on your cheeks and the way your eyes sparkle with affection. His heart beats rapidly, almost nervous about what you'll say next.
"Thank you." You say, holding it close to your chest. "I promise I will be brave."
Scaramouche blinks, mildly disappointed by your response. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but this was lackluster. He sighs, "Okay, well, can we go back to watching T.V. now?"
You giggle and nod, "Yeah. I'm sure our moms are waiting for us."
You exit his room first, but he stands there for a couple more seconds. He lifts his hand that held yours. Scaramouche's heart beats fast again as he remembers how soft you felt in his touch.
"Scaramouche!"
He jumped and quickly lowered his hand, trying to look less suspicious. You stared at him in confusion.
“Aren’t you coming?”
Scaramouche nods, "Yeah. Thought I saw a bug."
You squeak and look around. "W-Where?!"
"I don't know."
You jump up and down before running out of the room in fright. Scaramouche laughs to himself, then follows right after.
'She's so dumb.'
When entering middle school, you two remained two peas in a pod.
For the first few weeks at least.
Scaramouche had always been popular, largely because he was considered the cutest in your class, and that still seemed to be true here. Back then, though, his attitude made him difficult to like. Now, however, people seemed to see it as cool and “badass.”
You had two classes together and often hung out at lunch, but something had clearly shifted.
Sometimes, people intrude on your guys' conversations because they want to talk to Scaramouche. He really didn't care at first and would shoo them off. He told you that they were just trying to pick fights. But what was supposed to comfort you only made more damage.
He started to bond with some of his classmates, which didn't bother you at first. He even introduced you to them. You tried to get along with those guys, but they always looked at you funny. You weren't as anxious as when you were little. Thanks to Scaramouche, you made your interests known by reading your favorite piece of media, wearing merch, and hanging keychains on your bag. Unfortunately, his "friends" found that silly.
It started with a small comment.
"Aren't those for kids?" One of them asked.
You could tell by his tone he was poking fun, but you remained firm. "Um, no, anyone can enjoy anything."
Their snarky grins were wiped off with a frown.
"No one likes a smartass."
Their words didn't hurt as much as seeing Scaramouche stay silent.
You knew that he'd make new friends, considering the small amount of time you see him, but you didn't think it'd be with such assholes. You would always see them cause mischief when you're walking to class. They were complete jerks, causing messes and poking fun at people who couldn't defend themselves. You couldn't understand why he'd befriend those types.
After school, it also became harder to talk to him because he was so busy with his studies. You were, too, but when you suggested studying together, he'd turn you down.
During the middle of the first semester, you went down to get a snack after studying for a few hours, and saw Scaramouche's mother having tea with your mom. Of course, you politely greeted her like always, but she was surprised to see you at all.
"Oh, Y/N, you're here. Scaramouche didn't invite you to go with him to his friend's party?" She asked you.
Your heart drops. "No…I wasn't aware of that…"
You can see the flicker of anger come across her eyes. She forces a smile, though. "That's alright. You're a good girl for having school as your number one priority."
You can only nod as you make your way back to your room.
You never felt so betrayed before. Why didn't he tell you he was going somewhere instead of lying to you? You couldn't study any longer, as you curled into a ball on your bed to cry.
Scaramouche was confronted by his mother about this, which led to a horrific argument. You could hear it all night, and you felt bad that it might've been your fault. Even though you should be sleeping, you peeked through your curtain at his bedroom window. You see both their shadows, waving their arms around as they scream. Scaramouche was definitely the loudest, but you knew his mother could match his tone if she wanted to.
She can be scary sometimes when she's angry; you've witnessed it before. She never hit him or anything, but she always made sure he apologized. You guessed this was different this time because Scaramouche kept yelling curses like crazy.
You couldn’t take it anymore, so you closed the curtains and hid under the blanket. Squeezing your eyes shut, you clung to your cat plush for dear life, wishing you would wake up from this nightmare.
Scaramouche only started hanging out with you less and less as the years went by.
His new friends kept inviting him to clubs or school events. Sometimes, you'd see him walk with them home even though you live in the same area. You thought you had grown out of your nerves, but it slowly started to resurface. The fewer classes you had with him, the lonelier you got. You weren't close with any of your classmates because you always had him. Now, he has completely tossed you aside.
Unfortunately, you couldn't prepare yourself for how bad high school would be.
You and Scaramouche had stopped hanging out completely. Stopped talking, stopped calling, it was like you guys were never friends to begin with.
You've seen many movies where people just grow apart, but you didn't think they'd be true.
Lately, he's been more rebellious, as sometimes you can hear him argue with his mom before getting in his friend's car. You didn't know why this was happening, and it hurt that you couldn't give his mom a straight answer. Your parents, especially your mom, worry about you. You brushed them off, though.
You already felt sorry for yourself; you didn't want your parents to feel it too.
You didn't want to make his life worse by bringing up how awful his friends are, but you suspect his mom already knows that. Even though you were alone again, you were used to it. The name-calling, the way Scaramouche looks at you nastily, eating lunches outside by yourself, no one to confide in, group projects, or task work.
You just had to pull through on your own.
One night, your parents went out to celebrate their anniversary, leaving you home alone. They didn't want to go because they were worried about your well-being. However, you convinced them after saying, "I'll be fine" a hundred times.
You took this time to rehearse a presentation for your class the next day. It was late at night, and you were getting a bit tired of reading your note cards. It was starting to get stuffy in your room. You get off your bed and go to your window to open it, letting some fresh air in.
Resting your arms on the bottom, you stare up at the moon. 'How pretty.' You thought. You wished to be as beautiful as her. Shining radiantly and being admired by others. It brings a peaceful atmosphere, and the night feels like an escape from your problems.
Your thought process was interrupted by the window across from you opening as well.
Scaramouche had his leg out and was looking at you in shock, with the same expression as you were displaying, too. You open your mouth, but his finger rests on his lips, shutting you up. You watch him jump down and land on his feet quite well. He freezes for a moment before sighing in relief that his mother hadn't heard him.
"What're you doing?" You ask quietly.
He looks up at you in anger. "None of your business."
It's pretty obvious that he got grounded again. You heard from your mother how much he's been getting into trouble just to see his friends.
You shake your head, "Your mom's going to be angry."
"I don't need a lecture from you." He says, clearly irritated.
"This is the first time you're sneaking out! You can get in big trouble!" You try to reason. "Your punishment can get even worse!"
He scoffs to the side. "Whatever."
Your lip quivers, then you huff. "At least let me come."
Scaramouche looks at you in shock. "What?"
"Then, you won't be in trouble!"
You start to put your foot out, paying no mind to his urging you back inside.
"Y/N, stop! You're being ridiculous!" He tries to scream, but it's all whispered to save his own skin.
He was too quiet for you to hear. You managed to get both legs out, but you weren't strong enough to stick to the wall, and ultimately, you lost footing and your grip. You gasped as you realized you were going to fall.
Scaramouche quickly rushed over to catch you. You collided with him, which helped him break your fall. His arms wrapped tightly around your body, and you tried to get up, but he forced you to stay put. You realize he's probably listening to see if his mom will come. Your whole body freezes at how close you are to him. Your head rests on his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat. Your face flushes while your hand clutches his jacket.
After a while, his grip loosened, and he let out a sigh of relief. You feel his hands move down to your hips, which makes you go even redder. It's not like you two weren't intimate before, but now that you're older, it feels different. This is more serious than childhood love.
Slowly, you lift your body up to see him, still clutching his clothes as if he'd disappear. You can see his cheeks are red too as you stare into each other's eyes. It's been so long since you saw him up close. It was giving you butterflies like when you first met.
You weren't sure what was happening, but you didn't want to leave him. Your breath hitched as you leaned closer. You were sweating and blushing like crazy, but so was he. You can see him lift his head up towards you until your lips touch.
This felt like a dream, and you loved it. You missed him so much.
One hand runs up your back as he kisses you passionately. Scaramouche flips you so that you're the one lying on your back, not breaking away for a second. His kisses become more intense because of how desperate he is for you, how much he wants this to happen. It surprised you, but it felt so good. You let out a small moan, which drives him crazy to say the least. His hand grips your waist as he continues to kiss you, wanting to hear more.
In the end, you pull away, and he immediately stops.
Your breathing is heavy as you continue to stare at each other. His phone buzzes, and he groans in irritation. Scaramouche looks at the message and scoffs. He stuffs it back in his pocket before looking back at you. He didn't say anything, but it seems he's waiting for you to speak.
Nervously, you sit up, pushing him away slightly. "A-Aren't you going to your friends?"
"No."
You look at him in shock.
"Do you want me to?"
Slowly, you shake your head. Then, you say, "You can stay in my room."
You didn't see his surprised face.
"S-So, you won't get in trouble…"
"You're still on that?" This time, he was being sarcastic.
You stand up, and he follows suit.
"I'll lift you up."
You whip your head towards him. "W-What? Are you sure? Can you pull that off?"
He nods, "Uh, yeah. Who do you think you're talking to?"
You weren't quite sure of this, but you didn't have a spare key as he did. So, you climb on top of him, and he lifts you up. You try to stretch your arms higher, but you can't grab on. "I-It's too far!" You say, which makes him click his tongue.
"What're you trying to say, huh?!"
You didn't answer, which pissed him off even more.
"Okay, how about this? I'm going to toss you."
"W-What?!"
"Just brace for it!"
You couldn't even get a second to think because he throws you just like that. Somehow, you managed to grasp the edge and climb back into your room. Without taking a break, you went to pull him up, but he was quite heavy. Still, he practically climbed up the wall as you pulled to make it easier for him at least. You felt like your back was going to break.
Finally, he made it inside, and you both lay on the floor in exhaustion.
"Seriously," He props himself up with his arms. "What were you thinking, jumping out like that?! You could've gotten hurt!"
You turn to him, frowning. "Sorry."
Scaramouche sighs, "Just don't do anything reckless like that. Promise me."
You nod, and he pets your head. It felt comforting that he still looked after you. In his weird way. In the back of your mind, you wanted to ask him why he changed. However, you didn't want to ruin this moment, so you remained silent.
"Were you studying?" He asked while standing up.
You nod again and move your note cards to your vanity. "I have a presentation tomorrow."
“Oh,” He said, kicking off his shoes and plopping onto your bed.
You were hesitant, but you sat next to him. You wonder if he's going to address the kiss. You move his bangs to see him, and he side-eyes you.
Your hand flinches back. "S-Sorry…"
His eyes widen a little, then glare. "For what?"
You tense up and shrug, looking down. 'Maybe I should ask him right now?'
Then, his hand lifts your chin up to him. Your face flushed, and you couldn't process how fast he kissed you again. You're not sure where to put your hands, so you rest them on his chest. He moves your body down so he can hover over you as you kiss.
This was definitely something out of a romance movie. The bad boy sneaks out to kiss the girl he likes. Sure, what happened to you is totally different, but the same concept.
He pulls away to catch some air, then notices the cat that's sitting right next to your face.
"You…still have that?" He asks, picking it up to inspect it.
You sit up, crossing your legs. "Of course I do. I love him."
Scaramouche flinched but couldn't face you. "I see."
He places it back down, then lifts your blanket to cover you up.
You stutter, "W-What?"
"You need to rest." He tells you, forcing you to lie down again.
You're not sure what you did to cause him to change. You really wanted to ask, but you were scared. You didn't want to strain your relationship even more.
You didn't argue and got yourself comfortable under the sheets. "Goodnight then." You told him.
"Night."
Scaramouche goes and switches off the light, then walks back to sit on the edge. He watches you drift off to sleep and smiles. It was always easy to get you to take a nap. He pets your hair softly before planting a kiss on your forehead. He goes to lie right next to you, trying not to disturb your slumber. He stares at the plush cat before closing his eyes to sleep too.
Scaramouche was acting a bit more friendly, which surprised you. He'd wave hello or sometimes say hi. When he wanted to get away from his friends, he'd always hide with you outside. You really wanted to question him because he kept acting as if nothing had happened. At home, your mom told you how happy she was that you two were friends again.
'We are?' You thought.
Apparently, Scaramouche told his mom you guys patched things up, and, of course, she told yours.
You were conflicted. You wanted to be happy, but you were a little angry. Was the kiss really all that was needed to happen for him to like you?
Of course, you enjoyed it, but other than him saying hi to you, nothing much happened.
Scaramouche still had those friends and, sure, he started seeing them less, but they were still in his life. You really didn't know how to feel. If he kissed you, doesn't that mean he likes you more than a friend? It didn't make it any better that he was loved by other girls. Even in middle school, you had heard about him getting asked out. Though he never once accepted.
Maybe it was time for you to stop waiting? You loved Scaramouche, and you didn't want him to slip away again now that he's close with you again.
After school, you begin to try to find him. You're 99% sure he's at the school's gym since his friends are kind of athletic. As you make way down the halls, a pair of groups pass by and say,
"Did you know Scaramouche has a girlfriend?"
You stop dead in your tracks.
"Whoa, really?"
"Yup! She confessed to him a while ago."
Your heart sinks as you grasp your shirt with anxiety. 'Scaramouche has a girlfriend? This whole time. That kiss…was it a lie?' Your eyes well up.
'What am I to him?'
You wipe the tears away and go back to searching for him. You were right about the location, but you started to get scared with his friends there. They immediately notice you and laugh.
"Look, it's the puppy." One of them says.
You stand there confused. 'Puppy?'
"Y/N?" Scaramouche walks up to you. "What are you doing here?"
"I-I want to talk to you about something." You stutter but try to remain cool.
"Scaramouche, come on, we'll be late to karaoke."
'Karaoke?' "I thought you didn't want to hang out with them anymore?" You ask.
His eyes widen, "What are you talking about?"
"A few days ago, you told me-"
"Yo, Scaramouche, what's this bitch saying?" His friend asks, and they're all agitated by your presence. You know you're not wanted here, but if only you could just get Scaramouche alone.
"Nothing. She's leaving." Scaramouche declares.
You shake your head, "But Scara-"
"I said you're leaving!"
You jump at how high he raised his voice.
"Yeah, get lost, puppy dog." His friends laugh.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" You mutter.
"Because that's what you are! Following Scaramouche everywhere like one!" They explain.
"He's my friend…"
"Is he?" They laugh again. "Why would he be friends with a little kid like you?" They say, pointing at the charms your bag carries.
Your lip trembles along with tears. "T-There's nothing wrong with liking cartoons!"
"Let me guess, you sleep with a nightlight on?" They laugh again.
'Why isn't Scaramouche saying anything?!' You think, trying to keep it together.
"Tell us, Scaramouche! Is it true she sleeps with a stuffed animal or something?"
He balls his hands into a fist. "Yeah."
You gasp, "Scara-"
"There's this stupid cat toy I gave her when we were kids. I thought for sure she threw it away, considering we're adults now."
Your chest starts to hurt like your heart has been completely ripped out of you. You tremble upon hearing his words and can't stop the tears from falling.
"Why would you say that?" You ask.
"Because it's true." He says, "I'm not always going to be there for you, Y/N. So, grow up!"
Your head begins to spiral. All you could remember was how he would protect you when you were little and reassure you. Now, here he is, pretending that none of it happened. To make it worse, he has a girlfriend and kissed you for no apparent reason. Only that you're a girl he can play with.
"I can't…believe you…." You whisper.
"Well, believe it!" His voice grows louder. "You were nothing more than a pain in my side and a leech preventing me from having a basic life! You're nothing to me!"
He was interrupted by a smack on the face.
The gym gets quiet.
Slowly, his hand touches his cheek, then he looks straight at you.
Endless tears stream down your face as you hyperventilate. "I hate you, Scaramouche! I hate you!"
You turn around and run out of the room.
Scaramouche's gut twists.
'I fucked up.'
You locked yourself in your room, ignoring your parents' concerns.
Throwing yourself on your bed, you cry into your pillow.
'Why would he do this to me? I thought he loved me.'
It was all so awful. You really cared for him through it all. To think he was such a jerk to treat you like this. He doesn't care about you anymore, and you feel like an idiot for taking this long to realize it.
'I'm sorry, Mom. I couldn't keep your promise.'
You only left your room to eat or use the bathroom. You were just so depressed. All you did was lie on your bed, hiding your face on your pillow. Crying was all your body could think of doing.
The day passes, and before you realize it, it's night.
You tired yourself out completely as you start to doze off. However, you hear a thud at your window. You sit up in fear. 'Is someone breaking in?'
You know the best course of action is to hide and get help, but you felt like a deer in headlights. Another thud and you jump. Through the moon's light, you can clearly see that what you thought was a rock that hit. Slowly, you get off your bed and tiptoe to your window. You peek through the curtain and frown.
It was Scaramouche.
He sees you right away and calls your name.
You weren't in the mood and backed away. He throws another rock, and you huff. You crawl back to bed only to hear another thud, and you really weren't trying to have a broken window tonight. You storm right back and open the window in fury.
"What do you want?" You ask harshly.
"I want to talk to you." He says, and he looked like an utter mess.
You cross your arms. "What's there to talk about? You said what you said!"
"I-I know, and I'm sorry!" He pleads. "I want to make this right!"
"By making out with me and forgetting this all happened?"
"No, no!" He shakes his head. "Y/N, I'm really sorry for what I did! Please let me see you!"
You shake your head. "No! I hate you!"
You're about to close the window, but he continues to speak.
"Please, Y/N, hear me out! I-I don't want to lose you!"
Your lip trembles, and you turn to him, already about to cry again. "Go grovel to your girlfriend! I don't care about you anymore!!"
Scaramouche looks at you, stunned. "Girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend!"
"Sure, whatever"
"Wait, Y/N-"
You shut the window and go back to bed. 'What a jerk.' A tear slips down your face. You thought he left in silence, but then you hear tapping. Reluctantly, you get back out of bed and stomp to your window again.
"I said, I hate-" You let out a yelp when you see Scaramouche's face right at the window. 'Did that crazy man climb up?!'
You lift back up the window.
"Please, Y/N." He says with desperation. "If you let me talk, I'll leave you alone for the rest of your life."
You're not sure what the right choice is. A part of you did want to hear him out. Sighing, you step out of the way, and he climbs inside. You walk over to flick the light on. "Why didn't you use the front door?"
"I tried." He says. "But…your mom wasn't really happy to see me…."
You let out a laugh. "Oh." You sit at the edge of your bed. "Sounds like her."
Scaramouche nods and stands in front of you. You've never seen him so nervous before. He's always trying to act cool and nonchalant.
"Look, I understand why you hate him." He starts. "I wasn't really fair to you."
You look down at your feet. "Why did you change?" Finally, you're going to get your answer. "I thought…we'd be together forever…"
His lip wobbles. "I just…I just wanted to impress you…"
You blink, processing his response. "What?"
"I know that sounds weird, but it's true…" His cheeks flush. "I wanted you to think I was cool, but it only made me an asshole. It doesn't help that I was friends with awful people…" He sighs and sits down on the floor. "I was too deep into my persona and thought that it'd be better if I pushed you away, maybe it'd hurt less. I didn't want you to be associated with a person like me…" He lowers his head. "When we kissed, I realized that I hated being apart from you. I want to be with you."
He looks at his hand, the same one that always held you when you were kids.
"I wanted to be yours."
Your cheeks turn pink at the sudden confession.
"I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. As I said, I just…wanted to look cool."
"You were really mean." You say. "You don't know the number of times I cried because of what you did."
It was almost like he was stabbed in multiple areas. Scaramouche gazes at you apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."
"But you did!" The tears escaped you as you hunched over your bed and cried. "I hate you." You say again.
"Y/N-" He reaches his hand but pulls back. Scaramouche knew he had messed up. What he did was unforgivable, like, who does that to the girl they love? Scaramouche apparently. He stands up and sits right next to you. Your body trembles as you hiccup every cry.
Suddenly, you hear a high-pitched voice.
"Please, don't cry, Y/N." It said. "Don't cry, don't cry."
You can feel something soft petting your hair. "You don't look pretty when you're sad. Let me see that cute smile."
You try to shake it off and hide your face deeper in your arms.
"Please, Y/N. Turn that frown upside down! Come on, smile for me! Show me that pretty smile of yours!!"
You shake your head as you sob.
"Please, Y/N. It makes me sad that you're sad."
You didn't answer.
"Y/N, stop crying. No more crying." You faintly hear the voice start to crack.
"It makes me sad that you're sad." The soft hand petted you again. "There, there."
You feel your body relax, but you refuse to look in Scaramouche's eyes.
"Y/N." The voice cracks again. "Don't cry. If you cry, I'll cry too."
Slowly, you turn your head to the side, peeking out with your arm. Your eyes widen slightly when you're face-to-face with the plush cat. Scaramouche had been impersonating it to cheer you up.
"No more crying." He sniffles as he makes the cat wave his hand.
You blink the tears away and sit up. You push the cat down to see his head lowered to cover his face. He looks up at you, and to your surprise, sees him crying.
"Please don't hate me…" He says as his tears spill out more.
You move his bangs away to see his tears, then wipe them with your thumb. His lip trembles as he hugs the cat plush for comfort. Scaramouche was full on breaking down in front of you.
'So he does cry.' You thought. Maybe this was the proof you needed all along. You smile softly, resting a hand on his cheek.
"Don't cry, Scaramouche. Crying is for dummies, you know?"
He stares at you in awe before chuckling. "Right, I'm sorry."
You laugh, then rest your forehead on his.
"I really am sorry." He whispers. "I love you, Y/N. I've always had. There's no girlfriend. If anything," His hand rests on top of yours. "It's you."
Your face flushes, but you smile even more.
"I love you too."
You both lean in and kiss, cupping each other's faces. This time, the kiss was gentle and timeless, not as rough as before. Scaramouche let his warmth seep through you because he wanted you to know how serious he is about you two.
The kiss only lasted a few seconds since your mom walked in.
You were so embarrassed, but your mom was too busy lecturing Scaramouche about how to be a good man. Your dad ended up pulling her away, only for his critics to be harsher than hers. After being grilled by your parents, he went home the right way.
As you got back into bed, he texted you, saying he would make it up to you tomorrow.
Wondering what he meant, you went to sleep right away.
On the school day, you witness Scaramouche declare his love to you to his former friends.
"I'm done hanging out with you guys." He says. "Y/N is all I need."
Your heart flutters, and you couldn't help but enjoy the look of utter disbelief on those guys' faces.
Scaramouche held your hand throughout it all, and you were glad that he wasn't going to let go this time.
Hi guys! I was supposed to upload today but it’s my birthday so I unfortunately can’t and will be having a day off! It’s already finished I just need to proofread :3 I’ll try to post it tomorrow so I’m sorry for the wait!!!! but yeah have a good day everyone!! ❤️
I’ve been working on the new smau these past few days..but I have to lock in and finish these requests before I post 😖😖😖
hey hey hey! so before I post the next smau, I will be finishing requests that were sent first. after that I do plan to organize my masterlist a bit and then work on the smau. it might take a while but it is what it is ✌️the next smau is NOT haikyuu but it is from a fandom I''ve already written before! anyways that's all I wanted to say...thank you so much for the support!
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m.list
that's a wrap!
sorry this is a bit lackluster but...I did NOT wanna write anymore
anyways I hope you enjoyed this !!!!
im so so SOOOO touched by the love and support you've given me and for hanging in their when I disappeared during my rough moments in life!
on spam (soon) I will talk about the plan for the future so stayed tuned for that!
um idk what else to say.........
thank you for enjoying this journey hope to see you soon in the next smau!!!
@karma-gisa @cosmiicdust @abcdefghijklmzopqrstuvwxyz @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @xmagik @tnazips @zhochikennugget @makkir0ll @asp7n @hrkdlsjz @lucky-chars @azharyy @gigiiiiislife @ahnneyong @rouzuchan @bakarinnie @djmoyolehuani @rinheartshyunlix @weirdowithaphone @luvvmae @diorzs @stefnarda @whimsybloom @samvagejkflxhrt @fishrene @goldenchildee @empress-pug-pug @muskratlove @krak-jj @romyoia @yukii-1 @lovingvi @muyyie @asher-muffin @drvgsndior @tired-jaz @loveelylacey @yumiaur @vrxouei @fictionalmenarehot @zazathezaer @littlekohai7 @judithregulus @eccedentesiast-sapphic @luvvvamy @adrnmyknight @kageyamayukina @ilovemarvel12 @nscuit @tobiofy @adagio4strings @divinityghoul @erosxcupid @kunikame @mr-crawlings-wife @channelle @luvvvivi @lily-cheese-xoxo @midnights-with-him @annispamz @leemoonss @x3nafix @mirakingsley @tobiosgirlhehe
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m.list next
You accompanied Kageyama to the boys’ club room so he could grab his things. Earlier, he had mentioned that his friends wanted to meet you. You were a little nervous, but he reassured you they wouldn’t antagonize you or anything. You followed him up the stairs and into the room while he gathered his belongings. You watched as he picked up his bag, changed his shoes, and slipped on his Karasuno jacket. Once he finished, Kageyama turned to you. “I’m done. Let’s go.” You nodded and followed him out of the room.
"Yn," He says as you head down the steps. "Why’d you stay after school?" You look up at the sky. "I usually help in study sessions, but today I was too sad, so I just roamed the halls." Kageyama frowns, head lowered. "Sorry..." You laugh. "It's okay, Tobio. I was being dramatic, huh?" "No," He answers firmly at the bottom step.
“If anything, you weren’t angry enough at me…” He mutters to himself, but you still hear him. Humming, you wrap your arms around his neck, resting your head on his back. “I was already angry at you the first time we broke up.” You say. “Being angry at you again won’t fix anything, you know? We’ve already dealt with a lot of anger in the past. I wanted us to have a fresh start.” Kageyama stands there in silence, letting you express yourself freely.
“I know you aren’t the same as before. I can tell by the way you act around others.” You squeeze him gently, showing the trust and comfort you still have in him. “I love you, Tobio. I always will.” Kageyama’s cheeks flush. The two of you stand there quietly for a few moments while he thinks over what to say. Words have never come easily to him, but he wants you to know how much you mean to him. He feels undeserving of your forgiveness, yet he refuses to let this slip away.
Kageyama shifts, making you let go and meet his eyes. His hands settle on your hips, making you blush. "Yn," He says, cheeks redder. "I love you. I want to be with you— through college, marriage, and when we're old. I need you by my side." His grip tightens as he pulls you closer.
“I love you,” He says with a smile. “I love you, Yn. I’m happy you’re mine.” Your face turns bright red, and your hands clasp together. Your heart races, but in a good way. Relief washes over you, knowing this is real and that Kageyama truly found his way back to you. You smile and rest your hands on his shoulders. “I love you too, Tobio.” Then the two of you lean in for a kiss, as the rest of the world has faded away.
"HOLY SHIT!" Someone yelled, and you both pulled away immediately. The two of you face the direction that the scream came from, and once seeing who it was, Kageyama instantly got angry. The whole Karasuno team was watching from the window while Hinata, Yamaguchi, Yachi, and even Tsukishima were peeking from the door. Of course, that noise was coming from Hinata himself. You were a little embarrassed, and so was your boyfriend.
“HINATA, YOU’RE A COMPLETE IDIOT! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” Kageyama shouts, his face burning red, but his hands don’t leave your body. They remain firm, almost as if he’s claiming you as his and his alone. Hinata jumps with a squeak, “I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY!” They continue to yell at each other, which makes you giggle. Since they’ve been caught, the whole team walks out to congratulate Kageyama on getting back together with you.
"Kageyama, I'm so happy you didn't die!" Sugawara bursts into tears as he pulls him into a hug. "Yeah, Kageyama, you really scared us…" Asahi says, and the others nod. Daichi pulls Sugawara from the boy since he was practically being squeezed to death. Then, Daichi crosses his arms with a stern expression. "So, this is for real this time?" He asks, glancing between the two of you. Kageyama stiffens, then nods. "Yes, I'm not letting them go." You gasp with a slight blush while Hinata gags. "That's very romantic of you, Kageyama. That's surprising." Ennoshita says. Kageyama blushes in embarrassment.
Daichi studies Kageyama for a moment before sighing. “Just take care of yourself. I don’t want you getting hurt again, okay?” Kageyama nods. Sugawara leans against Daichi’s arm with a pout. “Daichi, don’t ruin young love. That’s low!” “I’m not—I’m just giving him advice!” Daichi stammers. “Bad advice,” Nishinoya adds, earning him a glare.
Kageyama realizes you've been standing at the stairs for so long and moves out of the way. You smile at him and finally make your way down to the grass, standing right by him. "Aren't you guys practicing?" Kageyama asks after smoothly wrapping an arm around your waist. Tsukishima cringes, and Yamaguchi answers the question, "Well, we were, but we were all worried about you, so we couldn't really focus." "I see," Kageyama replies.
Suddenly, Yachi steps in front of you, startling you. “U-um…” She stammers before suddenly hugging you tightly. “I’m sorry for acting like a jerk!” She cries, pulling back. “I didn’t listen to you at all, and I was really immature—I’m so sorry!” You try to respond, but Kiyoko cuts in. “I’m sorry as well. I reacted too harshly.” “Oh, um—” You start, but get interrupted again.
“I’m sorry too!” Hinata shouts, hugging you immediately, which Kageyama clearly does not appreciate. “I thought you were some evil person who broke poor, stupidyama’s heart!” Hinata blurts out. “Why are you insulting me while defending me?!” Kageyama snaps, yanking him off you and smacking the back of his head. “Ow! You’re so annoying!” Hinata yelps, rubbing it. “Yn, what do you even see in this idiot?!” You laugh, but don’t answer.
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Yamaguchi and Tsukishima whispering. Tsukishima looks visibly uneasy, while Yamaguchi gently encourages him forward. With a reluctant sigh, Tsukishima steps up to you, still avoiding eye contact. “Sorry, Yn…for being rude to you.” You blink, and the others react with surprise and confusion. “What do you mean by that?” Tanaka asks, hands on his hips. Tsukishima’s cheeks turn slightly pink as he looks away. “I might’ve said something to them. That’s it.” Yamaguchi nods in confirmation.
“What?!” Hinata gasps. “What did you say?!” “None of your business,” Tsukishima snaps. You smile. “It’s okay, everyone. I’m not upset with any of you.” “Really?!” Nishinoya and Tanaka exclaim in unison. You nod. “Yes. If anything, I’m just happy. I’m glad Tobio has such good friends around him.” Sugawara covers his mouth, teary-eyed. “Kageyama, they’re an angel!” Hinata nods eagerly. “They really are!” He tries to hug you again, but Kageyama immediately shoves him away.
You laugh. “I’m just stating the facts.” “I guess Tsukishima does have a heart in there,” Ennoshita comments as Narita and Kinoshita nod along. “You know, Ennoshita, you can be pretty mean sometimes,” Asahi says. Yachi nervously reaches out and takes your hands. Kageyama instinctively stiffens at the sight, though the feeling quickly passes. It’s only Yachi. She’s nothing like Hinata, who always manages to get on his nerves. "So, we're cool?" She asks you, carefully. You tighten your hold on her hands and nod. “Mhm. We’re totally okay.” Yachi’s smile brightens instantly, and she wraps her arms around you again. You return the hug just as quickly, and the last bit of Kageyama’s jealousy melts away. He’s just happy to see you smiling with your friends again.
"We wasted a lot of your guys' time. You should get going," Daichi says. Yachi lets go of you, a little disappointed, but she smiles anyway. "You need your rest." He finishes, and Kageyama nods. He reaches to hold your hand. "Sorry for causing you guys trouble." He says, and Sugawara waves a hand. "You're fine, Kageyama. Take care, okay?" Kageyama nods again and turns to you. "Let's go." "Kay." You respond, and the two of you leave with others shouting and waving goodbyes.
Inside the gym, Ukai and Takeda had been spying as well once the guys went outside. Takeda had tears streaming down his face because of how pure Kageyama's affection for you was. He felt like a proud father during that moment. "I'm so glad everything worked out!" He tells Ukai. "I was worried Kageyama would be in a slump! It was scary when he collapsed like that!" Then, he gives Coach a harsh expression. "By the way, you should've given him a break! He could've seriously been hurt."
Ukai lets out a small huff. "Maybe, but he wouldn't have approached them anymore. It's best for him to face his fears rather than pretending to be fine with it." Takeda stares in awe. "So, you really planned for him to pass out?" "Well," Ukai scratches his cheek. "Something like that. Anyway, Kageyama finally got it together, and that's all that matters." Takeda smiles, then looks back out the window.
"Love isn't so bad after all, huh?" He says out loud. Coach doesn't say anything for a few moments before smiling too. "Guess not."
one more chapter and its the end...
I can't believe we made it..
I do have a couple of ideas for the next smau but I will talk about that later!!!! :>
@karma-gisa @cosmiicdust @abcdefghijklmzopqrstuvwxyz @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @xmagik @tnazips @zhochikennugget @makkir0ll @asp7n @hrkdlsjz @lucky-chars @azharyy @gigiiiiislife @ahnneyong @rouzuchan @bakarinnie @djmoyolehuani @rinheartshyunlix @weirdowithaphone @luvvmae @diorzs @stefnarda @whimsybloom @samvagejkflxhrt @fishrene @goldenchildee @empress-pug-pug @muskratlove @krak-jj @romyoia @yukii-1 @lovingvi @muyyie @asher-muffin @drvgsndior @tired-jaz @loveelylacey @yumiaur @vrxouei @fictionalmenarehot @zazathezaer @littlekohai7 @judithregulus @eccedentesiast-sapphic @luvvvamy @adrnmyknight @kageyamayukina @ilovemarvel12 @nscuit @tobiofy @adagio4strings @divinityghoul @erosxcupid @kunikame @mr-crawlings-wife @channelle @luvvvivi @lily-cheese-xoxo @midnights-with-him @annispamz @leemoonss @x3nafix @mirakingsley @tobiosgirlhehe
i really do enjoy reading your works!!!! qqqewwwwjahsh i wanna send a req soo bad but i feel like im overdoing it bc the details might be rlly long 😭😭
Don’t feel bad! Just send what you wanna send :>
[61]
m.list next
Kageyama jolts awake, gasping for air as tears stream down his face.
His mind was racing, overflowing with information he once hid away. Kageyama sits up abruptly, ignoring Yachi and Kiyoko's worried words. He scans the nurse's office, eyes darting from bed to door, searching desperately for the person he's missing.
“Kageyama, are you okay?!” Yachi asks, panic sharpening her voice. Kageyama doesn’t answer. Instead, he swings his legs off the bed, ignoring the warning look from Kiyoko. “Kageyama, you need to lie down and rest,” She tells him firmly, stepping forward as if to stop him. But he brushes past both girls in obvious desperation. He nearly stumbles as he shoves the nurse’s office door open, catching himself against the frame before breaking into a run. 'Please be here. Please still be here.' The thought pounds through Kageyama’s head like a second heartbeat. If you leave before he finds you, he knows he’ll regret it. He has to fix this somehow.
He struts down the hallway toward the first year classrooms, reckless with urgency. One after another, he slides classroom doors open without warning, scanning faces before moving on again. When rooms are occupied, he only has time to glance through the windows before sprinting to the next.
The one time Kageyama finally stops avoiding you, you’re nowhere to be found. The realization makes him even more frantic. He rushes through the halls faster than before, nearly tripping over his own feet more times than he can count. It’s embarrassing, but Kageyama doesn’t care enough to stop. He keeps going because he finally understands the truth. You were never the one at fault.
Kageyama jogs another lap around the first year floor, weaving between students as he looks for you. Out of breath, he slumps against the wall, closing his eyes to steady his breathing. 'If not here, then where?' He wonders, glancing toward the stairs. He suspects you might have gone to practice, but since his friends disapprove, he doubts it. Thinking over his options, he nods to himself: 'I'll check the upper floors.' He stretches his arms overhead, cracking his back and neck, then dashes up the stairs determinedly. 'I'll find you, Yn,' He thinks.
Unfortunately, Kageyama had no luck finding you. You weren’t in the classrooms or hallways. He kept retracing the places you usually went, hoping he had somehow missed you. 'Please don’t leave yet.' The thought stayed in his mind as panic slowly started to settle in. If he didn’t fix this now, he was scared he’d lose you for good. Even after getting dizzy and tired, Kageyama continued running through the halls. A few teachers eventually stopped him, annoyed by the noise and his reckless behavior.
“Enough. Go home,” One teacher says firmly. “I just need to ask something,” He says quickly. “Have you seen-” “We’re not discussing other students right now,” Another teacher cuts in. “You should be at home.” They keep urging him toward the exit, refusing to answer any questions. Frustrated and desperate, Kageyama looks back down the empty hallway one last time before slowly heading for the stairs.
Defeated, Kageyama descends the stairs and, overwhelmed, bumps his head against the wall in frustration. 'This is what I get…' He thinks, rubbing the sore spot. 'I really am stupid.' He stands there, face pressed to the wall, thinking about texting you, but dismisses it as insufficient. He straightens himself, sighs, and trudges toward the exit—until a sudden sight makes him pause.
He stops dead in his tracks and sees you walk out of the bathroom. 'Of course! Why didn't I think of that?!' Kageyam curses to himself. But he notices how sad your expression is, and that aches his heart. He stares, almost like a trace, until you've finally noticed him. You blink in surprise, unsure of what to do next. "T-Tobio?" You question, watching him intently.
Upon hearing your name, Kageyama couldn’t hold back his emotions. Your voice carried a mix of hurt and fear, reminiscent of the past. He couldn’t believe he had made the same mistake again. Tears welled up in his eyes as he recalled his actions and the consequences they had brought. Now that he understood the gravity of his actions, he felt a deep sense of guilt and responsibility. Your shock at seeing him cry made you cautious and wary. “T-Tobio?! What’s wrong?!” You exclaimed, your voice trembling with concern. As you spoke, his shoulders shook, and he slowly took small steps toward you, his eyes filled with a mixture of fear and vulnerability.
"I'm sorry…" He says, hanging his head low. Your eyes widen as you rush to him. "No, it was my fault." You reassure him, but he shakes his head. Kageyama grabs your shoulders, looking straight into your eyes as the tears fall. "No, it's all mine!" He says and looks down again, gripping onto you in desperation and pain. "If only I had told you…why was I so mean to you?" You didn't even realize that you began to cry, too. "I'm so sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean to leave you all alone." He sobs, sinking himself lower and lower. "I just wanted things to be normal again."
Gently, you cradle his head and rest it on your shoulder. As you soothe his back, you place your chin on top of his head. You guide him to the floor, holding him as if he were about to vanish.
"It's okay, Tobio." You whisper through the tears. "I don't hate you. I never did. I was only confused about what happened, that's it." Kageyama embraces you tightly, forcing you to stay put, almost like you were his tissue. You can feel your uniform getting wet, but you didn't care right at this moment. You simply wanted to provide him with the comfort he had been yearning for all these years.
It took some time, but Tobio Kageyama eventually calmed down. By then, the two of you had already been scolded by the staff and told to leave the school for the day. Unfortunately, you had to find out the hard way that Kageyama was causing trouble during his search for you. In any case, you both sat on a bench near the school entrance as a refresher.
There was some silence. One being the fact that Kageyama was a little embarrassed that he cried in front of you. On the other hand, this was your first conversation after the breakup, so there's a lot of awkwardness. You admire the scenery of the trees blowing with the wind and the sun setting. Kageyama sits next to you, contemplating what to do or say, even. He did apologize, but Kageyama was too emotional to explain himself properly, so his apology ended up scattered and hard to follow. After a long silence, he speaks up, his voice a bit shaky. "I was going through a lot."
You turn to him, gaining your full attention. "I had found out my, uh, my grandpa wasn't feeling well." He gazes down at his hands, clasped together. "I didn't…" He pauses for a moment to gather some strength. "I didn't know how to deal with it, so I…" He exhales. "I acted like an asshole. I thought he'd get better but…" He shrinks himself. "It was just wishful thinking." He whispered and dug his nails into his skin, almost like a punishment. You place a hand on top of his, making him look at you.
Giving a soft smile, you tell him, “It’s okay.” Kageyama’s lips tremble, but he looks away to prevent himself from crying again. “…I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He confesses. “I was just overwhelmed by what was happening to me and brought you down to my misery…” Kageyama looks back at you with a deep expression of regret. “I’m truly sorry. For treating you so poorly and for completely forgetting about you.” Carefully, he holds your hand. “…about us.” He finishes his sentence, and you feel the tears welling up once more.
You sniffle and quickly wipe your eyes with your free hand. “I didn’t think I’d see you again here,” You say softly. Kageyama looks away. “I wanted to go to Shiratorizawa,” He admits after a moment. “But I got rejected.” His voice tightens slightly. “It’s where my grandpa went. I thought I could follow in his footsteps.” Your expression softens. “I’m sorry,” You say gently, reaching out to lightly pet head. “I didn’t know.” He exhales, guilt settling deeper. “Because I never told you,” He says. “It’s not that I didn’t trust you…I just couldn’t back then. Everything was already messed up, and I didn’t know how to explain it.” His words break off as he brings a hand up to cover his face. In the movement, he tightens his grip on your hand without meaning to, holding on as if letting go would make everything worse.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Kageyama says quietly. “I’m here telling you all this without freaking out now, but years ago...I pushed you into a dark place.” You slowly move his hand away from his face, finally seeing the distress written so clearly in his expression. Your hand rises gently to rest against his cheek. “I blamed myself every day,” You admit softly, your eyes drifting down to the grass. “I kept thinking I must’ve gotten under your skin somehow, even though I didn’t know what I did wrong.”
Your chest tightens as the memories resurface. “I thought I just wasn’t good enough for you anymore.” Your voice grows quieter. “No matter how sad it made me, I still loved you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, even when I tried to.” You swallow hard before continuing. “I kept wondering if you moved on with someone else. Someone better than me. Someone who cherished you more than I did…someone who understood you in ways I couldn’t.” Your thumb brushes lightly against his skin. “I thought maybe I failed you somehow.” A small, painful smile crosses your face. “Like I just didn’t live up to what you wanted anymore.”
Suddenly, he grabs both your hands and leans them to his chest. "Don't say that," Kageyama says as he looks at you with sorrowful eyes. "You did nothing wrong at all, and I'm sorry for ever making you think like that!" He moves your knuckles to his lips. "I never want to hear you say something like that again. I don't want my actions to ruin you anymore. I'm sick of running…" Kageyama gives your hands a small squeeze. "Yes, I love you, and I never stopped loving you. I know that you might not forgive me for everything, but I want to make it clear that you have nothing to be sorry for." He looks up at you, and you can see how much he regrets the past.
"Yn, I really am sorry. I want to say I’m not like that anymore,” Kageyama says quietly. “But I’m scared the old me is still inside me somewhere.” He lowers his head again, unable to hide the guilt in his expression. “I don’t want to see you cry anymore.” You slowly pull your hands away from him, only to gently cup his face instead, guiding him to look at you again. His eyes hesitate before finally meeting yours. “Tobio,” You say softly, a small but sincere smile appearing on your lips. Your thumb brushes against his cheek in slow, comforting strokes, grounding both him and yourself.
“You went through a lot of pain,” You tell him quietly. “I understand that now.” His eyes shake slightly, but he doesn’t pull away. “The fact that you’re worried about hurting me already shows you’ve changed.” Your voice softens even more. “You care now. That’s why you’re scared.”
"I wish you had told me." You say, and his eyes glance down. "But.." His eyes look at you again. "…I'm happy that you were always there inside." You finally finish, then lean to kiss him. Kageyama stares at you in awe. He was a little bewildered that you were so calm about this. He was half expecting you to yell at him or something. When you pull away, your hands remain holding his face.
"Um, so you're angry at me?" Kageyama asks, warily. You hum and tilt your head to the side. "Maybe a little." He freezes, which makes you chuckle. "As much of a relief I feel hearing your reason, I'm still upset I was left in the dark, you know?" "I can make it up to you." He blurts out, catching you off guard. His hands grab yours, and he moves them to his lips. "Please…?" Kageyama is giving you those puppy dog eyes of his, and unfortunately, it's working.
You giggle with a nod right after. "Alright then." Then, your expression softens, and your eyes gloss when you ask, "And me?" There's a beat of silence. "Do you forgive me?" You ask nervously, your eyes fighting to look at his. Kageyama plants a kiss on your knuckles and moves his body closer towards yours. Your knees touch as he lowers your hands and presses them to his heart. "Yes, I do."
After a longing stare between you two, you kiss once again, and this time, it won't be the last.
AYEEEEEEEE A HAPPY ENDING
wait this isn't the last chapter ..
YET
oh my gosh I THINKKKK there's two more left?? or one? I have the check the layout again LMAO
anyways YAY I hope this apology is okay..I never experienced something like this so...
out of character kageyama EAT IT UPPPPPPPPP
sometimes making your fav do something they wouldn't do in canon is funner than being a robot
sorry for abandoning you guys btw im addicted to tomodachi life teehee! 🤭
@karma-gisa @cosmiicdust @abcdefghijklmzopqrstuvwxyz @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @xmagik @tnazips @zhochikennugget @makkir0ll @asp7n @hrkdlsjz @lucky-chars @azharyy @gigiiiiislife @ahnneyong @rouzuchan @bakarinnie @djmoyolehuani @rinheartshyunlix @weirdowithaphone @luvvmae @diorzs @stefnarda @whimsybloom @samvagejkflxhrt @fishrene @goldenchildee @empress-pug-pug @muskratlove @krak-jj @romyoia @yukii-1 @lovingvi @muyyie @asher-muffin @drvgsndior @tired-jaz @loveelylacey @yumiaur @vrxouei @fictionalmenarehot @zazathezaer @littlekohai7 @judithregulus @eccedentesiast-sapphic @luvvvamy @adrnmyknight @kageyamayukina @ilovemarvel12 @nscuit @tobiofy @adagio4strings @divinityghoul @erosxcupid @kunikame @mr-crawlings-wife @channelle @luvvvivi @lily-cheese-xoxo @midnights-with-him @annispamz @leemoonss @x3nafix @mirakingsley @tobiosgirlhehe
everybody get naked new chapters out
let's freaking go chat
😦
okay ur new chapter made me think of something also similar to me
there used to be a time in school where we had to change to our gym clothes and APPARENTLY... i had flashed everyone in the locker room but the thing is I have ZEROOOO memory of it.
my friend told me that if an event is traumatic and embarrassing enough the brain will try and protect itself but making you forget and well... it worked
so hey! 10/10 for the accurate brain psychology 🥹
HELLO that’s actually insane …😭😭😭😭
but thank you!!!!!! I also have heard of that and that’s why I thought of this idea for the smau 🤭 I also lwk based it off of my experience because I have like…such bad memory…..like I cannot remember a THING when I was a kid so I applied it to kageyama. He suffers WITH me 🤞
[60]
m.list next
this contains spoilers from the manga
In the first year of middle school, you already had a crush on Kageyama Tobio.
He was handsome, athletic, and widely liked, though he never showed interest in anyone. You shared a class with him, but you were too shy to talk beyond brief exchanges. Even though you had friends, he was the one you wanted to get closer to. After hearing how many people he had turned down, you decided to let your feelings go. Still, during study time, you caught him staring at you when you weren’t looking. You sat next to each other in silence most days, only speaking when he asked about classwork or borrowed something—nothing more than that.
This time felt different. When you glanced up to check the time, you caught him staring directly at you. You found yourself wondering how long he had been looking before you noticed. At first, you thought you might be imagining it—but then Kageyama’s cheeks flushed pink. He quickly looked away, scratching the back of his head as if nothing had happened. Still, he couldn’t help stealing glances at you, only to tense up each time he realized you were still looking. You caught the nervousness behind his usual composure, and it made your chest feel oddly light. A small smile tugged at your lips as you lowered your gaze back to your paper. ‘How cute.’
After that incident, you worked up the courage to befriend him. Your first real conversation started with volleyball—he had just joined the team, and you asked about it to get closer to him. Kageyama opened up more than you expected, happily talking about it, and you couldn’t help but enjoy seeing him like that. From there, the two of you started spending more time together, both at school and occasionally outside of it. Your feelings deepened as you got to know him better, and he seemed just as comfortable talking to you as he was with anyone on the team.
Over time, you both learned about each other, and eventually, your connection naturally grew into a relationship.
You were the one who confessed first. It was a simple “meet me after school” kind of moment, but your nerves had been building all day. You wanted to do this properly, even if your hands wouldn’t stop shaking. When Kageyama finally stood in front of you, he looked confused—like he couldn’t figure out what you’d called him there for. Without giving yourself time to overthink, you shoved a small bag of chocolates toward him. Your face burned instantly, and you quickly bowed your head to hide it. “I like you, Kageyama!” You blurted out, louder than you meant to. “Please go out with me!”
Silence followed. He didn’t move right away, and the pause felt unbearable. Your heart pounded so hard you were sure he could hear it. Panic started creeping in. 'Oh god am I going to get rejected?!'
After what felt like an eternity, Kageyama finally responded. “Okay.” His voice was so quiet you almost weren’t sure you heard it. Your ears perked up anyway. Slowly, you lifted your head. Kageyama’s face was bright red—flushed all the way to his ears. He scratched the back of his neck nervously. For a second, neither of you moved.
Then your face broke into a wide smile. You straightened up and, without thinking twice, threw your arms around him in a tight hug. “Thank you so much, Kageyama!” His entire body stiffened at the sudden contact, his face going even redder as he struggled to process what was happening in real time. After a moment, you pulled back just slightly, but your arms stayed looped around his neck.
“I’m in your care,” You tell him softly, still smiling. Kageyama blinks at you, the tension in his face easing little by little. Slowly, his expression softens, and a small, fond smile finally appears. “…So am I,” He replies.
News spread of your newfound relationship.
In middle school, everything seemed to be a big deal, and all eyes were always on the two of you. Not only were you both first years, but Kageyama, a volleyball player, was also quite famous among sports fans. Originally, you didn’t mind the attention, and it was quite exciting to realize how many people were fans of him. When he wasn’t around, you would talk about him endlessly, praising his coolness and charm.
Kageyama loved following you around, and holding your hand was his favorite thing to do. Kindaichi and Kunimi teased him a lot about how corny he was. Kageyama didn't think he was corny, but he asked you anyway. You laughed, then kissed his cheek. "Corny or not, I still like you."
You and Kageyama quickly became the kind of couple people admired, and it didn’t take long for others to start talking about you. Your friends often gushed over how cute you were together, though they sometimes got too curious about personal scenarios. Kageyama, meanwhile, wanted your first kiss to be special but didn’t know how to make it happen. When Oikawa overheard him worrying about it, he offered unhelpful advice, only to be immediately shut down by Iwaizumi, who told him to let things happen naturally instead.
Unfortunately, Kageyama took Oikawa's advice a bit too literally and decided it was the perfect moment to try it. The next day, he walked straight up to you without responding to your greeting. Before you could even finish saying “good morning,” he gently—but abruptly—covered your eyes with his hands. You froze immediately, confused and a little startled. “U-Um, Kageyama?” You asked, unsure of what was happening. He didn’t answer right away. You could feel him take a breath in front of you, as if gathering his nerves. Then, slowly, he leaned in closer.
For a moment, everything went still. When he finally moved, it was toward you. The distance between you closed, and in that instant, you realized what he was trying to do. Your thoughts stopped completely. You sat there in shock, heart fluttering as the realization sank in. Butterflies erupted in your stomach all at once, as you slowly registered his closeness and the fact that this was really happening.
Kageyama moves his hands away from your face, lowering them until they rest lightly on your shoulders. His touch is careful, almost like he’s still unsure if he’s doing everything right. He looks at you, clearly flustered. “I love you, Yn,” He says quietly. Your expression softens into a wide grin. Without hesitation, you lean in and kiss him again. When you pull back just slightly, you close the distance again, resting your forehead gently against his. “I love you too, Tobio,” You reply.
Everything seemed perfect until it was your third year.
You couldn’t quite explain when it started or why, but something about Kageyama had changed. By your second year, the shift was subtle enough to ignore at first—quieter pauses, shorter replies, a distance you couldn’t quite name. Back then, you told yourself you were overthinking it. But now it was harder to brush off.
When you asked if he was okay, he barely acknowledged it, shrugging you off like it didn’t matter. Conversations that used to come naturally now felt strained, like you were the only one trying to keep them going. It wasn’t just that he seemed distant. It was the way he avoided your eyes, the way he responded as if you were interrupting something more important. Little things, but they added up, until being around him made you feel less like someone he cared about, and more like someone he wished would just leave him alone.
“Tobio, why don’t you come eat with me?” You ask, trying to keep your tone light despite the tension you can feel building. Kageyama’s gaze sharpens into a glare. “I have something else to do.” “Like what?” You press, unable to hide your concern. That’s when his patience snaps. He pushes up from his chair, cutting the exchange short. “None of your business.”
He shoves past you as he walks away, leaving you standing there without another word from him.
Kageyama wasn’t really in control of what he was feeling anymore. Most of the time, it was just anger. It made everything and everyone feel like a threat, even the people he cared about most, even you. Whatever was going on at home only made it worse. He carried it with him everywhere, but never talked about it. So he started distancing himself from you. Not gradually, just suddenly. It wasn’t a healthy way to cope, but in his mind, it was simpler. If people stopped pushing him, if things stayed under his control, then maybe everything would stop feeling like it was falling apart.
He convinced himself that this was the only way things could work. And so, over the course of the year, he became colder with you. Short answers, avoidance, frustration that didn’t always make sense. He treated you unfairly, even when you didn’t deserve it. But you didn’t walk away. You could see it wasn’t just random cruelty—something was eating at him, something he was refusing to say out loud. And instead of giving up, you held on to that certainty. Because whatever it was, you weren’t going to leave it concealed. Not when it was slowly tearing him apart.
There was a distance between you now—one that felt wider with each passing day. It wasn’t just physical. It was in the way he spoke, the way he looked past you, as if he’d forgotten the warmth that once came so easily between you. Still, you kept trying. You asked if he wanted to hang out, hoping—every time—that he might say yes. But he never did. The rejections came so often they began to blur together, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to stop asking.
So instead, you watched from a distance. You stood quietly at his practices, even after he told you not to come. You told yourself it was enough just to see him, even if he didn’t want you there. Because you loved him. Enough to endure the silence, the distance, the way he seemed to slip further away from you with every passing day. This wasn’t the Kageyama you fell in love with.
And deep down, there was a quiet, growing fear you couldn’t ignore—that one day, he’d lose himself entirely and let go of you for good. As if he hadn’t already started.
Many of your friends tried to get you to break up with him, but you wouldn't budge.
“He needs me,” You insist, but the words sound thinner the moment they leave your mouth. The looks you get aren’t just confused, they’re concerned. “Yn, you’re being ridiculous. He doesn’t care about you anymore.” You bite your lip, the sting grounding you for a second. “She’s right. Kageyama basically left you behind,” Someone else adds. “Maybe there’s someone else?” “Is Kageyama even the type to cheat?” “He’s an athlete—it wouldn’t be surprising.”
Their voices start to muffle. You don’t argue. Instead, you quietly stand and leave the room before anyone can stop you. 'They don’t understand,' You tell yourself, clinging to the thought as it might stabilize you. But even that feels flimsy.
Because the truth is you don’t understand either. You don’t know why Kageyama has been acting this way, why he’s pulled so far out of reach. The certainty you used to have about him is gone, replaced with guesses and excuses you keep repeating just to hold everything together.
'He needs me.' You say it again in your head, softer this time—but it doesn’t land the same.
You stop abruptly, as if your body has finally caught up with what your mind has been trying to ignore. Your knees give out beneath you, and you sink down onto the ground, the motion slow and unsteady. Your hands tremble as you pull out your phone. His contact is still there—still saved the same way it’s always been—but everything else has changed. No replies. No read receipts anymore. Just silence, sitting where his name used to feel comforting. It started with a single “okay,” then messages left on read, and now they don’t even open. Just delivered.
Your grip tightens around the phone until your fingers ache. Your vision blurs before you even realize you’re crying. The tears come quietly at first, slipping down before you can stop them. Your breath starts to hitch. You fold in on yourself without thinking, pulling your knees closer, hiding your face against them like that might ease the weight pressing through your chest.
Your shoulders shake as you try to steady your breathing, but it doesn’t settle. “Tobio…” Your voice comes out strained, barely above a whisper. You swallow hard, your forehead resting against your arms as another tear slips free. “Why won’t you talk to me…?”
It's gotten to the point where you asked him directly if he found someone else.
For the first time, Kageyama’s expression shifts—his anger loosens into something closer to confusion. “What are you saying?” He asks, his eyes widening slightly. You hesitate, a little caught off guard by how quickly he’s actually responding. Still, you push forward, trying to use this rare opening to finally say what’s been bothering you. “You don’t like hanging out with me anymore,” You say quietly, glancing down as your nerves creep in. Kageyama is the one who answers first, and his tone is flat. “I have practice.” That response irritates you more than you expect.
“I know, Tobio, but—” He cuts you off immediately. “If you know, then why are you interrogating me?”
You lift your head suddenly, frustration breaking through the grief. “Because it feels like you don’t love me anymore!” The words come out jagged, and you can’t stop the tears anymore. “You don’t even say it,” You choke out, voice cracking. “You don’t even act as if you care.” Kageyama stares at you, frozen. His expression is unreadable at first. The silence stretches until it feels almost unbearable.
When he finally speaks, it isn’t soft. “How awful of you to think only about yourself.” Your breath catches. “What did you say?” His jaw tightens, something sharp flashing in his eyes. “You’re a disease.” Your lips tremble. For a second, you look like you might collapse, but instead, something in you breaks outward. “If I’m a disease, then what are you?!” You shout, voice cracking with everything you’ve been holding back. He stiffens. The words keep spilling before you can stop them.
“I heard it’s ‘King Kageyama’ now!” You yell, tears streaming freely. “Is that what this is about?! That’s why you’re acting like this?!” For the first time, his glare falters, like you’ve hit something too close for him to immediately push away.
“Don’t even say that name.” You react immediately, frustration spilling over. “Why not? You called me a disease,” You reply. That makes him grit his teeth, anger flaring again as he struggles to keep himself in check. “You don’t even know what you’re saying,” He snaps. “You’re just trying to get under my skin! You want me to fight you!” You shake your head, trying to push through his reaction. “I want you to be honest with me!” Kageyama responds again, this time louder.
“I am being honest!” He shouts, and he grabs your wrist, driven by frustration more than anything else. “Tobio—!” “Drop it, Yn.” His voice turns cold right beside you. “If you think I’m cheating on you, then go find someone else. I’m tired of dealing with your codependency.”
Then he releases your wrist, turns away, and storms off—leaving you standing there as the emotions finally catch up and you sink to the floor in tears.
Kageyama didn't mean any of that, but it was his first instinct.
He'd never cheat on you, but it pissed him off that it's spreading around the school. If only he were normal and told you what happened. Why is he acting like this? He himself doesn't even know. He just wants everything to be how it used to be. Where you brought him joy and ease. When volleyball was fun.
Kageyama, finally, came to his senses and wanted to apologize to you. But as he got home, his sister rushed towards him with clear tears in her eyes. "Tobio!" She cries, and that's when he knew.
His grandfather had died.
You could tell that he had gotten worse. Instead of seeing him like you used to, you avoided him. You were scared that he would yell at you again. After that fiasco, you still couldn't bring yourself to break up with him. You thought about sending a text, and you've typed it in various ways, but it was so hard. This Kageyama isn't the old one, not anymore. You finally faced that fact, and yet, you still have hope he's still in there. Maybe you were crazy, but you thought of it as gut instinct.
When you passed by his classroom, he looked even more miserable. You wanted to embrace him, comfort his sorrows, but you didn't think he'd appreciate it. You remember he has practice today, so you decide to give him one last chance. You’ll ask him if he’s serious, and based on his reaction, you’ll decide whether to stay or leave. Your heart aches, but it's all you can do for him. 'He did this to himself.' You think as a tear slides down your face.
Kageyama wanted nothing more than to get his team in shape for the big game.
They were all lacking, and he needed them to be fixed. "Kageyama, let's take a break!" Kindaichi tells him, but Kageyama scoffs. "A break? Are you five?! We need to get ready!" Kindaichi only frowns, crossing his arms. "You're such a pain." He finally says. Kageyama's eyes widen. "What did you say?!" "You heard me!" Kindaichi states, and Kageyama ends up getting close to his face. Quickly, Kunimi got his arm between them. "Okay, this isn't getting us anywhere!" He says, and Kageyama glances at him.
"If you want us to practice, then give us a break!" Kunimi continues, and Kageyama backs away. "That's such a sorry excuse." "You're a sorry excuse!" Kindaichi replies. "We don't like what you're doing one bit!" Kageyama's brows furrow even deeper, if possible. "If you don't like it, then leave! All you guys do is complain! Maybe stop being so lazy?!" "We aren't lazy!" Kunimi argues, but Kageyama scoffs. "That's bold coming from you!"
Kunimi's eyes widen, and Kindaichi steps forward. "You have no right to say that!" Kageyama doesn't answer and goes and picks up the ball. "Whatever. I'm not wasting my time here like you guys are." The people in the room go still. Kageyama thinks it's finally over. He doesn't tolerate such weaklings in his team. It's not the ideal setup.
"Sorry for bothering you, King," Kindaichi mumbled, but Kageyama clearly heard it. "What was that?" He asks in a harsh voice. "You know, you're the king." Kindaichi clarifies. "You should know by now exactly what it means." "Shut up," Kageyama says, gripping the volleyball. "Why? It's true, and you know it." He presses, and it's working. "I told you not to call me that!" Kageyama states, but Kindaichi only shakes his head. "I can't because that's what everyone is saying. Word spreads fast, Kageyama." "I won't allow it!" "Like you can stop it!" Kindaichi balls his hands into fists. "You can't run away from it, Kageyama! That's who you are and will forever be!" "No!" "You just have to embrace the fact that you're always going to be known as the king of the court." "SHUT UP!"
He didn't mean for it to happen. It was so quick, almost like a flash.
Kageyama had thrown the volleyball, but where it landed wasn't where he wanted it to be. When he lifts his head up, his heart drops. What he was expecting was the ball bouncing off the wall, but instead, he sees your bloodied face. You had just arrived at the gym, but it was at the worst time. Kageyama didn't hear your footsteps or feel your presence next to him.
His mind starts to panic. The loud bang was coming from the impact on your face. You had covered your nose, and both Kindaichi and Kunimi quickly came to your aid. You sink into the floor from the pain and immense bleeding. "Yn, are you okay?!" He hears Kindaichi ask you. Kageyama shakily looks at the hand that caused it. He never wanted to hurt you. That was the last thing he thought to do, but thinking back, the damage was already done.
Kageyama looks back up again, and his heart sinks even more when he sees you crying. Suddenly, he's barely hearing anything surrounding him. It's all muffled and clouded out. Such fear developed inside him that he couldn't even reach you. 'It's too late.'
Instead, Kageyama ran, far away from confronting you and his problems.
You were crying cause of the pain, not because of Kageyama. You knew it wasn't his fault, but he didn't know. He assumed that after that, you had had enough of him. It makes sense considering how much he treated you. Kageyama never apologized and continued to distance himself further. When you wanted to talk to him about it, he went the other way. That's when you knew, even without any more words spoken between you guys, it was over.
You cried to your friends, but they weren't much help.
"You did this to yourself." They said. "Maybe if you had acted right, you wouldn't have gotten hurt." You were so angry, but not towards them, but at yourself. How could you have let this happen? You should've left him when you had the chance, and now look at you. You were in endless tears, yet you wondered if he was crying too. Did Kageyama ever love you? It felt like he did.
During your breakdown, you trashed your entire room. Tearing up pictures of him and you, gifts, letters, anything that left a trace of his existence. You grip your phone and slam it to the ground, shattering it into pieces. 'Tobio, how could you?!' In sobs, you collapse onto your knees, your hands touching the ground. "Tobio, what did I do?" You hiccup. "What did I do wrong?" You cry and cry. All you wanted was to know what caused his spiral; that was it. Were you not loving enough for him to trust you? Was being cold and dry the only way for you to back off? So many questions, but you were never going to get your answer.
Kageyama completely avoided you, focusing on volleyball more than anything.
Kindaichi and Kunimi told you that the breakup didn’t seem to affect him at all. That just made your mood even worse. In the end, your third year was nothing more than pain. And while you suffered, Kageyama achieved a win in his volleyball match.
He had completely shut himself out from you.
All because he couldn't say, "I'm dealing with something right now." It was so easy, but it wasn't even something that came to his mind. Kageyama did love you so much. He didn't want to burden you with his family problems because he thought they'd go away. However, they didn't. His grandpa got worse, and he panicked. He was so afraid that he didn't want everything in his life to slip from him. All he wanted was to play volleyball like when he was small. Where everything was perfect.
Kageyama would regret pushing you, but was too prideful to say it.
It was all his fault, and he ended up feeling so alone.
So, his brain thought of a solution. For protection, he would forget everything during that time. If he doesn't remember, then he can start fresh, a new person. Sure, he still ended up flawed, but if he can move forward, then maybe he can have fun again. Even if it meant forgetting you, or so he thought.
Because when he laid eyes on you in the hallway, his heart fluttered. Back then, he thought it was new, but really, his heart always remembered how much warmth you radiated to him.
I kind of hate/like this...
I tried my best to express how much grief changes a person aka KAGEYAMA. some things might not be accurate to the manga because I only know bits and pieces but I really wanted to dive into it.
and sometimes that change is noticeable to others (you) I really love kageyama and when hearing his backstory I was LITERALLY a train wreck like 😞
I hope I did a good job with his thought process??? idk but writing this made me sad cause I was like omg hes just like me fr...
IN A WAY.
@karma-gisa @cosmiicdust @abcdefghijklmzopqrstuvwxyz @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @xmagik @tnazips @zhochikennugget @makkir0ll @asp7n @hrkdlsjz @lucky-chars @azharyy @gigiiiiislife @ahnneyong @rouzuchan @bakarinnie @djmoyolehuani @rinheartshyunlix @weirdowithaphone @luvvmae @diorzs @stefnarda @whimsybloom @samvagejkflxhrt @fishrene @goldenchildee @empress-pug-pug @muskratlove @krak-jj @romyoia @yukii-1 @lovingvi @muyyie @asher-muffin @drvgsndior @tired-jaz @loveelylacey @yumiaur @vrxouei @fictionalmenarehot @zazathezaer @littlekohai7 @judithregulus @eccedentesiast-sapphic @luvvvamy @adrnmyknight @kageyamayukina @ilovemarvel12 @nscuit @tobiofy @adagio4strings @divinityghoul @erosxcupid @kunikame @mr-crawlings-wife @channelle @luvvvivi @lily-cheese-xoxo @midnights-with-him @annispamz @leemoonss @x3nafix @mirakingsley @tobiosgirlhehe
[59]
m.list next
Everyone in school could tell that you and Kageyama broke up.
Some approached you in class to ask about it. "Is it true?" A guy asks. "You and Kageyama are no more?" You look at him and his group in surprise. "I…" Their stares grow intense. Shame washing over you, you lower your head. "Yes, it's true." A couple of gasps echo in the room, quickly turning into whispers. "Whoa." The boy laughs. "Guess the King rumor is true." Instantly, your eyes widen.
“The ‘King’ rumor?” A girl asks. He nods. “Yeah—how Kageyama’s a dictator on the court. Seems it carries over to relationships.” Your chair scrapes loudly as you stand, making the group flinch. Even Yachi is startled. “You don’t know him,” You snap. “Don’t spread things you don’t understand.”
“Why are you defending him?” The girl asks. “He’s not your boyfriend anymore.” Your eye twitches, and in reflex, you turn to Yachi, but she looks away in fear. Your lip wobbles, and tears start to form in your eyes. “That’s sports boys for you,” Another girl says. “They only care about one thing.” “Hey! Not all guys are like that!” A boy says, defenselessly. “Uh-huh, okay. Balls are all you boys think about!” “Ew!!” The class laughs and completely forgets about your situation. Still, you wipe your face and rush out of the room in despair.
You should’ve been honest with him—but you were scared. They say the truth comes out eventually. Eyes squeezed shut to hold back tears, you’re not paying attention, and bump into someone. You stumble back and look up. Of course—it’s Tsukishima. You two barely talk; he’s always just…there, quietly present. He meets your gaze with his usual deadpan stare, but this time it’s colder than before.
“I-I’m sorry…” Tsukishima huffs, turning forward. “Yeah, okay.” You steady your breath. “Can you tell Kageyama I’m sorry?” He already knows the answer, but asks anyway. “Why don’t you do it?” Your gaze drops. “He doesn’t want to speak with me.” “Then I can’t.”
You look up quickly. “What? Why—” Because I don’t want to. How does passing your message change anything?” You inhale to steady yourself. “I just want to explain. If I could just—” “Yn.” His voice cuts through you—louder than you expected. Tsukishima turns back, clearly done. “The damage is done. Drop it.”
You couldn't even get a word out because he walked away.
You break down and cover your face—everything from today hits at once. You’d been hoping someone in that group might just let you talk to him, even for a moment. Instead, it all fell apart. Unable to hold it in, you rush to the bathroom and splash water on your face. It doesn’t help. If anything, you look worse. Sniffling, you step out and head back toward class, moving quietly through the halls. You don’t want to be there either—not with Yachi in the room too.
She meant it—she didn’t want to be friends anymore. At lunch, you try to talk to Yachi, but she won’t meet your eyes. “I-I’m sorry, Yn. I can’t. Not now…maybe never.” You force a small smile. “Oh, okay.” She hurries past you. You sit back down, head lowered, unable to eat.
Your mind keeps drifting back to Kageyama during lessons, and you end up staring into space. All you see is his face—how sad and angry he looked at you. He used to look at you with admiration. You always knew he could be gentle, which is why his yelling cut so deeply. It dragged up memories you’d rather not revisit.
You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to hold back tears. There’s no point dwelling on it—the past feels too close, pressing in from every side. Everywhere you turn, Kageyama and his friends are a reminder of it. Your body trembles as you exhale. You can feel Yachi’s pitying glance, and you don’t blame her. Wiping your eyes, you force yourself to look at your notebook. It’s blank—just like your heart.
Kageyama, on the outside, seems to be taking it well.
He’s much quieter, and his keen observation skills are lacking. He often loses himself in thought until someone catches his attention again. Kageyama can’t help but think about you. He had promised himself he wouldn’t, but it just happened. The night after the game, he had a dream about you. It was quite pleasant now that he remembers. It was another study date, and you were teaching him as usual. However, there was something different. You looked a lot younger than you do now. He wonders why that is.
He wakes with a pounding headache—no surprise after barely sleeping. The day feels normal at first, until he catches himself looking for you. Annoyance flickers; he told himself he’d let it go. He was the one who ended things, and he has to live with that.
Kageyama groans. “Another headache.” His hand presses to his forehead. Lately, the migraines have been getting worse—too frequent to ignore. It’s strange. Worse still, they started right after the breakup. Something doesn’t add up. Skipping school would make sense, but he can’t. Not today, not when the team is finally returning to practice after days of nothing. At least there’s that. Something to focus on.
“Kageyama!” Hinata pops up beside him. “What’s taking you so long?” “For what?” “Practice.” Kageyama stares. “Yeah.” Hinata’s confusion shows, irritating him. “What?” “Nothing—nothing!” Hinata flinches. Kageyama huffs and reaches for his bag. “Are you feeling okay?” Hinata asks carefully. “What do you mean?” “You don’t look great.” Kageyama frowns. “You shouldn’t be worried.” He swings his bag over his shoulder. “There’s nothing to worry about.” “If you say so…” Hinata mutters as they head out.
Obviously, his teammates are walking on eggshells around him.
Kageyama barely speaks, staying silent as he changes into his jersey. A sharp pain hits his head, and he winces, rubbing his forehead. ‘Why now?’ “Are you okay?” Sugawara asks, hand briefly on his shoulder. Kageyama steadies himself, opens his eyes, and nods. “Yeah.” He walks toward the opposite net as Sugawara watches, still concerned.
Kageyama keeps hoping the migraine will fade, but it lingers, stretching each moment. He’s clearly unwell—everyone can see it. “Kageyama, are you sure you’re okay?” Sugawara asks again. “I’m fine,” He snaps, too drained to argue, and moves to his position. Volleyball is supposed to be his escape—so why does it feel like this? His thoughts turn to you.
The memory blurs—your face never fully comes into focus, only a younger version of you he can almost recognize. Kageyama presses a hand to his head, forcing his breathing steady. A hand settles on his back. “Maybe you should take a break,” Tanaka says. Kageyama exhales and shakes his head.
His hands shake, but he stands proud, or so he thinks he is. "I'm okay."
They wonder why Coach hasn’t stopped him. Takeda keeps glancing at Ukai, urging him to step in, but Ukai shakes it off—it’s not time. Kageyama’s plays grow sloppy; his focus is gone. ‘It’s not going away.’ He freezes for a second, and you come to mind again—faint this time, like you’re slipping out of reach. Why are you disappearing…and why does that bother him at all?
Something isn't right. Kageyama wants this pain to go away, but why is it that whenever he thinks about you, it only grows? Is there something he's missing? And why is it always when you were younger? In middle school, he knew you'd been together at that time, but-
"Argh!" Kageyama places a hand on his forehead. 'It's getting worse.' He's starting to feel sick. His view starts to deteriorate as his mind goes dizzy. Sweat starts to pour down his body as he tries to regain his breathing. Something about middle school relates to the feeling he's experiencing right now. Another memory, but it's not the kind of memory like previously. Clearly, he sees the sadness on your face. It didn't look right on you. Kageyama wants to know what's wrong with you. The more he wonders, the darker his vision becomes.
Suddenly, for the first time ever, he remembers how you used to smile in the past. 'So warm.'
Kageyama ultimately collapses on the floor.
project edens garden got cancelled..dont even talk to me bruh
YES Im a Wolfgang fan. I stuck by him and forever will ✌️
I was mostly distraught about Ulysses that's all i'll say
the next few parts are written..maybe....
WE REALLY ARE REACHING THE END NAURR
kageyama the goat.......
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[58]
m.list next
Not everyone was expecting the bombshell of Kageyama's relationship status.
When Kageyama returned to the others, his teammates asked where Yn was, obviously curious. They were used to seeing Yn appear to support Kageyama at games. Kageyama's friends didn't expect him to actually admit the truth. When he said, "We broke up," those words shocked everyone present, including his coach and teacher. Many teammates wanted to ask more, but Kageyama clearly did not feel like answering.
His coach spoke first. Though he felt sorry for Kageyama, he said, “Don’t let this distract you.” He meant to comfort him, but it came out like a lecture, and Kageyama said nothing. Then Takeda stepped in, gently patting Kageyama’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Kageyama. Keep moving forward—don’t dwell on it.” Kageyama nodded, but still didn’t speak. As the team prepared for the next game, everyone noticed the shift in him. Kageyama started playing with more force than usual, his movements almost aggressive. Seeing this, Daichi walked over. “Kageyama, take a breather.” “But—” Daichi cut him off with a stern look. That was enough. Kageyama backed down, forcing himself to settle and refocus on setting the ball carefully.
Everyone assumed Kageyama was fine to play and relaxed a little. Karasuno took the first set, and things looked solid. But as the match went on, his energy started to fade. The absence of someone he expected to celebrate with seemed to weigh on him. In the second set, he played well—just not to his own standards. After several setter sets, he muttered quick apologies, calling them sloppy. To anyone else, they looked precise. But Kageyama knew the difference between what he meant to do and what actually happened—and that gap frustrated him.
Date Tech won the second match. Kageyama felt the loss settle on him immediately, but he forced himself to stay composed. Still, nothing was working—his timing, his sets, everything felt off, and the pounding headache only made it worse. “Kageyama,” Ukai called. He walked to the bench, already sensing what was coming. “Take a break,” Ukai said. Sugawara stepped in to replace him. Kageyama stayed off the court, forced to watch from the side.
Sitting there, he felt like a failure. He couldn’t believe a breakup had shaken him this much. He had loved you—and that made the hurt worse.
In the end, Karasuno lost, which only worsened Kageyama’s misery. He completely shut down and refused to act like a player.
As Karasuno prepared to leave, Kageyama stopped before boarding and fixed Hinata with a hard glare. “I’m going to sleep. Don’t make any noise.” Though he aimed it at Hinata, the whole team fell quiet. Once on the bus, Kageyama went straight to the back and slumped into a window seat. Hinata followed and sat beside him, leaving a careful gap between them. Kageyama turned his back and rested his head against the glass. Watching quietly, Hinata caught his reflection in the window—frustration and betrayal written across his face. The sight only made Hinata feel worse for him.
After leaving the bus, the teams head to the gym for a brief debriefing session followed by a meal. Kageyama stayed silent, but his behavior was noticeably harsher. As they walked, he shoved past a few teammates just to move ahead. When Nishinoya and Tanaka tried to talk to him, he rolled his eyes at them. He scowled at Tsukishima, then completely ignored Yamaguchi and Yachi when they spoke. It was clear Kageyama wasn’t listening to anyone—he just wanted to go home. When food was handed out, Kageyama refused his portion. Instead, he passed it to Hinata without a word.
“You sure?” Hinata asked, mouth full. Kageyama frowned. Without a word, Hinata took the food, dropping the subject. A while later, it was time to leave. Kageyama quickly gathered his bag. A hand touched his back, and he flinched. Sugawara stepped back at once. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Kageyama gave a small nod.
“I’m sorry about what happened,” Sugawara said, watching Kageyama shoulder his bag. “You two worked well together.” Kageyama huffed. Sugawara studied him, searching for a way in. Seeing Kageyama grow restless, he spoke quickly. “Whatever happened, you don’t have to blame yourself. It’s okay to feel disappointed.” Kageyama’s face tightened in mild annoyance. Sugawara’s expression fell, a little hurt—but not surprised. Kageyama had never handled feelings easily.
“Kageyama.” Sugawara set a hand on his shoulder, giving a small, reassuring squeeze. “It’ll be okay." Kageyama pulled away at once, stepping back to put distance between them. Sugawara stayed where he was, waiting. Across the room, the rest of the team went quiet, watching. Kageyama finally met Sugawara’s gaze, forcing his expression steady. “I appreciate it,” He said. “But I don’t want to talk about this again.” He gave a full bow, then turned and headed straight for the door.
Yamaguchi, feeling sympathetic, reaches out to grab Kageyama’s arm. However, Kageyama shoots him a glare, causing Yamaguchi to retract his hand. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Kageyama repeats, then leaves, unintentionally slamming the door harder than it should.
The first years look at each other. They all know Kageyama won't say it, but he's definitely going to be thinking about this breakup for a long time. "I don't understand," Yachi speaks up, holding her hands in worry. "Why couldn't Yn come clean?" Tsukishima shrugs, "Who knows. I guess it was too good to be true for Kageyama to feel something like true love." Hinata gasps, "Tsukishima! Why would you say that?!" "What?" Tsukishima sighs, "He's probably thinking it too, you know? Remember how he was when he first…or second time he saw them? He acted like a complete idiot."
Silence settled as he caught his breath. “He kept worrying about how he came across,” Tsukishima said. “ Yn reassured him and now look. All that overthinking for nothing but to get played.” “He wasn’t played…” Yamaguchi murmured. Tsukishima shrugged. “Then what do you call it?” Yamaguchi fell quiet. “It doesn’t matter,” Tsukishima went on. “They’re in the past. It’s not like he’s going to die over it.” Hinata crossed his arms, uncertain. “It kind of looks like he might.”
Yachi sighed and lowered her head. “I feel a little bad…” Yamaguchi and Hinata nodded, while Tsukishima stared out the window. “We should just leave it alone,” Yamaguchi said. “I think that’s what he wants anyway.” “He made it very clear,” Tsukishima muttered. The first years stayed there a moment longer in silence. There wasn’t much they could do. Even if they had the power to fix it—to turn back time and change things so Kageyama could be happy once more—it was ultimately his decision.
Daichi interrupts their bubble, sensing their saddened expressions. He lets out a small hum and acknowledges their long day. “No more practice for a while, you hear? I’m sure you already knew that if you listened to Coach,” He says. They nod in agreement, and Daichi smiles. “Good. So rest up and take some time for yourself.” He walks away, leaving the four of them standing.
“Do you guys want to walk together?” Hinata asked. Yachi smiled and nodded. “I’m okay with that.” “Yeah, same,” Yamaguchi agreed. All three turned to Tsukishima. He rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” “Aww, Tsukishima, you do love us!” Hinata teased. Yachi and Yamaguchi laughed. Tsukishima clicked his tongue. “Don’t make this worse than it already is.” “Whatever!” Hinata called, walking ahead as the others laughed behind him.
Once the first years walked out, it seemed the misery had been long forgotten.
the first years: 😝😋😊😋🙂
kageyama: 🪦
sigh............being a girl is such a pain..I DIDNT ASK TO BE BLEEDING RIGHT NEOW.
I haven't wrote for this smau in so long so when I was looking back at previous written chapters I was like "dang.....this is so different..."
I just be putting words together and hope for the best 😭
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