GLASSED RECORDS BAD PLANETS

buddy they don't even let me fuck the flag. we're not a roleplay account, but our favorite original character is coldsteel the hedgeheg

[officeofnavalintelligence]

oh they cancelled the halo show? oh season two was terrible? oh the fallout show got seventeen emmy nominations? oh the enclave is hiring rn?

[officeofnavalintelligence]

Jack and Rose might both have been able to fit on the door but would the door have had bouyancy to stay a float with both of them on it?

maybe they should've loaded everyone onto the iceberg with the escape boats using multiple trips. yes it would've been cold, but jim cameron said it would work.

[officeofnavalintelligence]

make sure to leave milk and cookies out for thel 'vadam on december 23 this year, its the day that deadbeat left key unsc assets back on the ark

[caffeineyum]

the underlying message here is “please put laxatives in the cookie, we’re ONI and we’re bitchy. But we can’t do it ourselves ((well maybe we could but we don’t want too)) so it’s your problem now,”

[officeofnavalintelligence]

no the underlying message here is "the arbiter is a bum, that door could have fit both jack and rose, and mjolnir armor and smart AI are expensive" but we won't contest that we're bitchy

[officeofnavalintelligence]

make sure to leave milk and cookies out for thel 'vadam on december 23 this year, its the day that deadbeat left key unsc assets back on the ark

[officeofnavalintelligence]

do you think black mesa is hiring

[officeofnavalintelligence]

Wow y’all must’ve been busy lately secretly being behind up the most recent political news. Is Larry the cat affiliated with y’all btw?

you know we had to do it to him (abe shinzo)

[officeofnavalintelligence]

Who would sing the romantic duet at the climax?

atriox and cutter

[officeofnavalintelligence]

we'd like to clarify an important question that has come up recently: we did not produce or write the halo show. we see you saying its our propaganda, and we just want to reaffirm that even we have standards for the propaganda we release. besides, if we had, it would've been a musical.

[officeofnavalintelligence]

no. they know what they signed up for and their families have been compensated.

[officeofnavalintelligence]

we'd like to clarify an important question that has come up recently: we did not produce or write the halo show. we see you saying its our propaganda, and we just want to reaffirm that even we have standards for the propaganda we release. besides, if we had, it would've been a musical.

[officeofnavalintelligence]

The Zariman 10-0 has teturned from The Void!

What is ONI's response? What will thry do to keep out Void Contamination?

the same way we respond to any problems in the origin system: mesa prime with a maxed out prime flow

[officeofnavalintelligence]

Thoughts on straycatj?

what

[officeofnavalintelligence]

I know why we don't know what happened to Cortana in Infinite? It's because Glassed Planets have Bad Records.

we've been out of the loop for a bit, do we still blame brian reed for things? or is that like 7 years too late? anyway they definitely should've let infinite cook for a few more months. add more to the story, more to the multiplayer, put us in the game, make us the good guys, etc

[officeofnavalintelligence]

wait what did I miss y u relevant again? Is it the pride thing?

every time microsoft shows more halo footage, we're granted 1 more week of relevance

[officeofnavalintelligence]

happy pride, we hear we’re relevant again

[euxiom]

so i see this: https://areax.tumblr.com/post/654030570196779008/yup-those-pinkertons-and-yes-they-changed

and

[officeofnavalintelligence]

happy pride, citizen

[officeofnavalintelligence]

Do you like turtles

do we like anything?

[officeofnavalintelligence]

happy pride, we hear we’re relevant again

[officeofnavalintelligence]

I don’t like data structures and neither do you since all your records are bad

vex planets bad datastructures