the real blog of a real man

hello i am brian eno, you may have heard of me as i am a famous man.  i possess great talent in addition to my    legendary wang

[officialbrianenoo]

come trick or treating at my door and I will give you a treat or two.....

[eno1995]

Woke at 4.30. Funny thing - in Ireland I rarely get an erection (though I was swimming nude the other morning, fully erect, and that was tremendous - almost non-sexual: like enjoying a muscle being flexed). It must be something to do with all that Catholicism in the air.

Brian Eno, 28 May 1995 (via eno1995)

[lake-erie]

it is with great relief that i erase “check to see if brian eno is 69 yet” from the household chore wheel

[howling--fantods]

@officialbrianenoo

[officialbrianenoo]

i’VE REACHED THE gOLDEN aGE AND THE TIME IS RIPE

[jtojto-deactivated20181123]

ENO PATTERN

[howling--fantods]

@officialbrianenoo

[officialbrianenoo]

for best results pin this to your toilet door so the brians can stare at you with disgust as you coax the brown monster from your downstairs chamber

[officialtheedge]

you awaken at 4:37 A.M. on a work day. you feel sweat on your skin, but you arent sweating. its cold but the window is closed. theres a breeze hitting your forehead and youre still sweating. what could that be? as you pull the covers off and stand up, you suddenly stop sweating. the breeze is also gone. you reach for your flashlight. its out of batteries. you reach for the light switch on the wall–there is no light switch. finally you find a lit candle under your mattress. why was there a lit candle under your mattress? who was using it? you havent used lit candles since 1986. you reach for the candle and use it to illuminate the room. there on your bed you see a puddle of water where your head was. you lick the puddle. it’s not sweat. as you lick the puddle, you feel the breeze again. you pull your head back and the breeze stops. you can only feel the breeze in the spot right above the puddle. as you look up, you see a creature with big eyes, breathing heavily while drooling on your face and gazing into your soul. you cant move. youre frozen. after the longest 14 seconds of your life, the creature rests its palms on your cheeks. “OwO” he says. “whats this?”

[officialtheedge]

the 2017 joshua tree tour is actually just a shitty vhs recording of a lovetown tour bootleg upscaled and projected onto a tapestry of torn projector screens and the audio is slightly off by half a second

[officialtheedge]

our “set list” could be larry doing a one-man reenactment of the mysterious ways video for three hours and you would still go

[othemightyi]

[officialtheedge]

beachsequence:

othemightyi:

Edge with a fan.

@officialtheedge

they said pop sucks. i said “suck this”

[officialbrianenoo]

tag your porn pls and thank you

[shoutwiththedevil]

[iinchicore]

[officialbrianenoo]

a christmas themed experience to treat

His bald head skin gleamed in the silvery moonlight. I bid him farewell until tomorrow, though I knew he would visit my dreams that night. The crisp air brushed his cheeks red. 

“Look, mistletoe,” he whispered, pulling a sprig from his trouser sac. I could barely contain my excitement. He pulled me back inside with swift arms. “Stay my dear. One more mince pie for the road.” We kissed with great passion and sound effects. 

Santa slid down the chimney that night to find a neat row of stockings lovingly arranged and two naked bodies sprawled on the coffee table. “Ho ho ho,” he said. 

[crunchingonicedcoffeesugar]

 2 years ago i reblogged some pictures of brian eno and someone sent me a message saying ‘why come you love bald man’

[crunchingonicedcoffeesugar]

why come you love bald man

[lake-erie]

why come you love bald man

[beachsequence-blog]

@officialbrianenoo

[officialbrianenoo]

those who refer to me as bald man will feel my moist embrace when they least suspect it.

[officialbrianenoo]

"The simple mathematical formula isn't hard to grasp" said I "Put your pants on Brian and cease to caress the chalkboard" said the professors

[sandsvendor100]

Fuck Ambiance

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

[howling--fantods]

@officialbrianenoo

[officialbrianenoo]

My disembodied head's expression says all that needs to be said

[officialbrianenoo]

Not the usual sensual treats I can hear you all wondering, but my body was forced by an urgent and unseen hand.. a dapper chap stood there beside my dear rochers,, nay not a peep from this texting fellow. But the pole in my pants perked and I made haste to make my purchase. Only managing to snatch a poor substitute as I dashed for the checkout, lindt lindor limited edition Barring the stirring snake from view

[bonos-grindcore-sideproject]

@officialbrianenoo

[officialbrianenoo]

he would usually call me Daddy brian eno but the formality of the occasion requires daddies to be fathers

[thebarsofhisplight]

Brian Eno, Jarvis Cocker & David Bowie

[howling--fantods]

@officialbrianenoo you sure look pleased ;)

[officialbrianenoo]

i sure felt pleased as well ;)

[metropolitanrecluse]

[howling--fantods]

@officialbrianenoo

[officialbrianenoo]

He lounges coquettishly across the chair, shadows of sorrow stirring deep in his innocent eyes. 

“Oh Brian,” you say. “What pains you so.”

He runs a hand through the bristly remnants of his hair. “The world is not how it should be, my dear, and sometimes I dwell on that fact too long.”