You Know How This Works.

I would like $200,000 in a knapsack and 4 parachutes.

[officialdbcooper]

I want to be your problematic fave.

[officialdbcooper]

are you loki the god of mischief from the marvel cinematic universe or are you loki the god of mischief from the marvel cinematic universe

It just doesn’t feel like you are giving me many options here

[punkitt-is-here]

db cooper fell on sasquatch and killed him and then had to take on his cryptid duties like The Santa Clause. thats why we never found him he was gifted sasquatch powers

[officialdbcooper]

It’s true.

[officialdbcooper]

Well my one piece of advice for any aspiring hijacker is that you should never cross the goddess Athena

[officialdbcooper]

Argh! It was Poseidon that Odysseus angered! Now the whole gimmick is ruined

[dbcoopertheories]

DB Cooper gave one parachute each to the four winds in exchange for safe and swift passage through the sky

[dbcoopertheories]

after landing without a working parachute and breaking half his bones, DB Cooper was on the edge of death. In exchange for $5800 the Colombia River granted him a second life as a signal crayfish

[dbcoopertheories]

EXCELLENT points. I personally believe:

DB Cooper kept his memories, but was very happy being a crayfish

Cooper died at the end of his natural crayfish lifespan

BUT, he bred with other crayfish first, so his legacy lives on

[dbcoopertheories]

Also. I am not much of an artist, but by god do I have a soggy ballpoint pen, a nearby scanner, and ten minutes before class. You want to see the db cooper crayfish? Your wish is my command ...

[thatmultifandomchick]

-Me when I’m a stewardess on a Boeing 727 flying from Portland to Seattle on November 24, 1971.

[dbcoopertheories]

what is a person? does a stable personhood exist? If the 'self' is biological, well, our cells constantly die and regenerate. Is it thoughts and emotions and experiences? Those change every moment! Especially in periods of intense thought and introspection.

The DB Cooper who parachuted out after a succesful hijack is very different to the 'self' who boarded. He would have close similarities, an undeniable relation to his former self--yes. But that is alongside completely new thoughts, emotions, experiences, cells.

So no! DB Cooper could not have survived the fall. He, as much as we can define a He, died millions of tiny deaths before he ever even left the plane...

[antsonacelery]

D.B. Cooper plays with a fidget toy during family counseling

[officialdbcooper]

All the smart hijackers were investing their money in index funds. Unfortunately I was frozen in a glacier on Mt Rainier & was unable to do so.

[fluffythevixen]

new db cooper theory: a large bird got him

[officialdbcooper]

I was actually floating around up there until Saint Helens exploded in the 80’s

[schofielded]

DB Cooper mystery solved: he survived and used the money to start the film website "IMDb" (I am DB)

[officialdbcooper]

This is honestly kind of deep when you think about it.

[officialdbcooper]

In the airport scrolling through tumblr and got recommended your blog. Is the world trying to tell me something?

To break character for a sec I was literally on a flight to Seattle when I got this ask

[officialdbcooper]

Tommy Wiseau found me wandering in the woods & told me that the simpsons had already been made.

[thelovebug1968]

Anything but working on ocs

[kreetn]

Solution to the mystery of his disappearance seems pretty obvious to me when the guy’s name was Dead Body Cooper. 😏

[officialdbcooper]

Not my name