亲爱的，求你不要走

[Dearest, please don't go] [aut viam inveniam aut faciam] Sel, they/them, 20, Chinese [link: buy me a coffee!] main (@ofinkandeyesbeheld) art (@ofinkandstrokesremarking) askbox: open messages: on feel free to pop into my inbox/message me about stuff or ask me to tag anything for whatever reason!uh im a nerd and a dork so talking about biology, neuroscience or whatever is really cool icon by me, please do not repost/steal/use in any way without my permission!

[inside-my-gay-mind]

[apsciencebylyn]

Reminder that fairy wasps can sometimes look like actual humanoid fairies when they hover

[littleguysdaily]

[phantomrose96]

Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy

State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.

........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.

There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.

And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.

And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.

Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.

Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.

Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"

The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.

The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.

[henswilsons]

OLIVER STARK  Into The Badlands → 1.03 “White Stork Spreads Wings”

[random-fandom-whump]

Whumptober Day 26: Alt Prompt #15 - Tears ↳ The Following S02E07

[whumpypepsigal]

NCIS Los Angeles s14e07: “You’re burning up.”

[feral-critter]

Yes geologists! Doing the important work 💖

[rainbowangel110]

The only correct response

[teathattast]

[unawakening-float07]

[clonidinecoochie]

[accidentalkilljoys]

[snippit-crickit]

this happened once

[ampervadasz]

[h-nry]

[angryschnauzer]

Its like one of those makeover shows and the home owners are just looking everywhere trying to take it all in.

[ofinkandgentlelove]

.

[andrewbelami]

That’s a cute foot fetish you got there, would you mind keeping it 25796323689432 feet away from me?

[pendejx-deactivated20200323]

25796323689432 feet you say?

[dadpat-tactual-deactivated20230]

This post turns 11 next month and it continues to be one of the funniest on this damn site

[dadpat-tactual-deactivated20230]

Happy 10 years to one of the OG funniest viral posts on this site

[reallyndacarter]

This reminds me of the time @teamlynda told me I was on “WikiFeet.”

[the-real-seebs]

Me, just yesterday: “I wonder if tumblr managed to drive Lynda Carter away yet.”

I guess not, but it’s not for lack of trying.

[fiollaigean]

wizards thinking of clerics as hacks cause we spent years of study learning the secrets of the universe they cheated and got a god to do their magic for them

clerics thinking of wizards as hacks cause we spent years serving and cultivating a deeply personal relationship with a god they copied down some cheat codes to make stuff blow up

[its-your-mind]

[eastgaysian]

explaining to my dog that i can't play fetch with her if she doesn't give me the ball but i'm a succession character trying to close a deal

[eastgaysian]

i see what's going on here. you've dropped the ball in front of me, you're wagging your tail. and i'm game. i'll pick up that ball and play fetch with you if that's what you want. i throw it, you catch it and bring it back, it's fun and everyone's happy, yeah? but uh, i guess my question is.... are you going to fuck me? like, if i pick up this ball and throw it, you're not going to, uh, come back with it in your mouth and not give it to me. you wouldn't do that, right? because then we can't play fetch. then nobody's happy. and we don't want that, right? yeah? you understand me. i like you, man. we're on the same wavelength

[eastgaysian]

you're not trying to tank the deal, are you? because i'm only gonna take so much of this big-dog growling shit. you're 12 pounds. i'm a grown man. who do you think wins? i'll walk, and good luck getting someone else to play ball.

[hanfugallery]

chinese hanfu by 抱走柒柒

[eggwraith]

opens box that reads "i wanna draw again". inside lies a note. the note says, "mental illness and difficult circumstances have taken years of interest, accessibility, and skill away from me. i want to forgive myself for that. i want to heal my relationship to my hobbies. i want to feel connected to something that once made me feel good, but the cyclic discouragement is difficult to overcome." i turn over the note. on the back it reads "wannta drawe sexy bodies awooga"

[eggwraith]

seems like this one really resonated with the artists who dont do art fandom