Edward took no time to calm down. Once he was in his car, he started driving, driving away from the school and away from the girl. His siblings tried to ask him questions but he refused to answer any of them, staring intently at the road as he drove them home. He had to leave, he had to get away for at least a little bit. It was the only way heād be able to calm down. If he was far away from Bella, far away from the temptation of her blood, he didnāt have to worry about slipping up, didnāt have to worry about losing control.
Esmeās not gonna be happy, Alice thought, and he caught a glimpse of Esme sitting despondent in the Cullenās living room. He shook his head, focusing in on Emmettās thoughts instead. He hated thinking about disappointing hisĀ āparents,ā even if they wereāt actual the people who raised him. He had a sentimental connection to both of them, and thinking about them sad was always too much for Edward to handle.Ā
After the five of them got home, Edward immediately went to Carlisle and explained the situation, explained exactly what was happening and why he needed to get away from a while. Carlisle understood, said that he would be sure to explain what was going on to Esme, and handed Edward the keys to his car. Itās faster, Carlisle explained, and Edward smiled gratefully. Carlisle understood that Edward wanted to leave as soon as possible, and he was appreciative of that.Ā
As Edward sped off towards Alaska, he was alone with his thoughts for the first time that whole day. There was no one else on the road, no prying minds or people trying to figure him out. The loneliness was something he had grown accustomed to; everyone in his family had someone else except for him. And now, this human girlā¦
He pressed down on the gas pedal harder, welcoming the loud sound of the engine as a relief from his own thoughts. He wouldnāt become that monster that was trying to take control of his brain, one of the Denalis would talk some sense into him and it would all be okay. It had to be. He refused to hurt this girl, refused to end her short existence prematurely.
Or were her days up already? Was he just delaying the inevitable?Ā
He pushed down harder on the gas.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Bella didnāt sleep well that night, her mind racing through every that had happened during school. She couldnāt get Edward out of her head, couldnāt get the sight of his eyes burning into hers with a hatred that she could not understand. But as much as she wanted to get to the bottom of it, to find out just what about her angered Edward, she was dreading the morning, knowing that she would have to face another day in biology with his glare. All because she was too chicken to actually stand up to him.
Ā Ā Ā Ā She woke up too early that morning, already dressed for school before the sun was even out. She tried to do some chores, something to distract her from the anxiety that she would face the moment she pulled up to the school. Nothing helped, she had rearranged her bookshelf twice by the time she needed to head out the door and none of it had calmed her racing mind.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā The rest of the day was a blur, making meaningless small talk with all of her new friends, trying to understand what they were saying but it was all going in one ear and out the other. They were planning some big beach trip to La Push, but Bella was hesitant. āBeaches were supposed to be dry and hot.ā She had thought at some point during the conversation during lunch. But any plans that were made washed out of her mind the second the doors opened and the Cullen family walked in. She waited, waited for the bronze haired boy to walk past, glaring daggers into her like he had in class but he never showed. Not once during lunch. Maybe he was sick? It had to be a coincidence, this couldnāt be just about her, could it?
Ā Ā Ā Ā Bella made it to biology with a bit more confidence, coming to the realization that Edward was in fact out for the day, and she could at least make it through the rest of the day without panic. No one would be staring in their direction as they took turns glaring in each otherās direction.
Ā Ā Ā Ā The rest of the week passed like that; terrible nights of sleep while she dreaded running into Edward at school again, looking over her shoulder all through lunch to see when he would show, and being almost disappointed and yet relieved at the same time that she could make it through biology without incident. By Sunday night, Bella was able to sleep comfortably, perhaps he had transferred schools? Or just rearranged his schedule so he didnāt have to ever cross paths with her. Either way, she didnāt have to dread the end of the day.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā And yet, she couldnāt shake the feeling of disappointment each day that she walked into biology and he wasnāt there. Her stomach would drop even further into the ground for a moment as she looked at her empty table. There was no explaining it, he hated her. Why should she care if he wasnāt there? Why should she even care if he hated her or not?Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Monday rolled around, and Bella woke up, more excited than most people should be for a Monday morning. The rain had let up, there was just a heavy cover of clouds and she had decided that she would shove Edward Cullen out of her mind. He didnāt want to be around her, so why should she even give him the energy to think about him. School didnāt seem so hard anymore, she feel into a routine with her new friends, despite the snow that now had started to fall, she tried to not let it dampen her mood too much. She ducked out of the snowball fights that broke out in the parking lot, managing to avoid being hit with anything. Snow was not for her.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Lunch went by with more chatter that she tried not to get too involved with, Mike and Eric planning a big snowball fight in the parking lot after school. Sheād just have to hide out in the locker room after gym until that passed. Her eyes stayed on her plate, having given up the habit of checking the Cullenās table, never finding anything good when she looked. She would either look and see Edward missing and the disappointment would return, or he would be sitting there and the panic rose in her stomach. No, she would keep her eyes down, focus on her own table as best she could and walk to biology with Mike like normal. Who cared if Edward Cullen was back or not? She certainly didnāt.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Mike seemed to be a popular target for snowballs, so Bella had plans to take another route around to avoid their friends, but to her luck, the rain had started once more. The snow was melting and all those behind her started to groan, complaining that their epic game after school was canceled now.Ā āIāll see you in class, Mike.ā Bella called over her shoulder as he turned to regroup with Eric and Tyler. Pulling her hood over her head, Bella made the short walk to their biology class alone. But as she turned the corner to walk through the doorway, she stopped dead in her tracks.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā He was back, sitting in his usual seat at their table, and Bella felt her cheeks flush. She needed to move, she couldnāt just stand in the threshold and stare. Dropping her gaze, she moved to their table, shrugging her jacket off and placing her books between them, as if to build a barricade between them. She wouldnāt acknowledge him, she didnāt want to see the anger that radiated off of him last time they sat through this hour together.Ā
