4ND S3NS3

gasp

i cant believe the life alerters are dancing instead of saving my dying soul now what am i supposed to do if i fall tonight

what if i cant get up and they are busy doing a little jig or the cupid shuffle what do i do then

DONT WORRY D4V3! 1LL S4V3 YOU >:]

1LL R1S3 YOU UP 4G41N 4ND W3 C4N COMM3NC3 W1TH MOV1NG OUR BOD13S 1N SYNCHRON1Z4T1ON TO TH3 GYR4T1NG B34TS BLOW1NG TH1S PL4C3 UP

its cool man bro never actually took me places like that either he was too busy sewing porn puppets and setting up various booby traps and elaborate devices in order to make me a stronger man not to mention all the random and unforeseen strife sessions like in the strider house aint a walk in the park either we should band together as fellow neglected bros and go get ice cream to forget about the troubles we had to face as children growing up in dysfunctional homes

Y3S, SO 1V3 H34RD

4ND 4LSO 3XP3R13NC3D WH3N 1 SM3LL3D YOUR F3M4L3 COUNT3RP4RT GROW UP ON TH3 M3D1UM-S1Z3D SCR33N >:]

BUT TH4T 1S WH3R3 W3 D1FF3R

MY LUSUS W4S 4CTU4LLY V3RY 1NS1GHTFUL ONC3 W3 ST4RT3D COMMUN1C4T1NG

1N F4CT, H3 W4S TH3 ON3 WHO T4UGHT M3 3V3RYTH1NG 1 KNOW 4BOUT COP1NG W1TH MY BL1NDN3SS

NOT ONLY TH4T

BUT 4LSO M3T4PHOR1C4LLY OP3N1NG MY 3Y3S TO 4 WHOL3 N3W WORLD OF POSS1B1L1T13S 4ND P3RSP3CT1V3, 3V3N 4S H3 W4S T34CH1NG M3 TO L1V3 W1THOUT TH3M! H4H4H4H4

W3 C4N ST1LL G3T 1C3 CR34M THOUGH

TH4T W4S N3V3R OUT OF TH3 QU3ST1ON

they told me they worked fast but i didnt realize they could buy a veggie platter that quickly

tell them they really need to consider joining the pizza delivery career

1 C4NT S33M TO C4TCH TH31R 4TT3NT1ON OV3R TH31R M4N1C J1V1NG ON TH3 D4NC3 FLOOR

W3 SHOULDNT BOTH3R TH3 L1F3 4L3RT3RS, D4V3

TH3Y 4R3 R34LLY 1NTO TH31R OWN TH1NG R1GHT NOW

do you hear my echoing sobs of laughter from over there

because i hear them in my stomach

pain

theres so much pain

im dying and crying and laughing at the same time

1V3 C4LL3D L1F3 4L3RT 4ND 1NV1T3D TH3M TO OUR P4RTY!

TH3Y BROUGHT 4 V3GG13 PL4TT3R >8D

shhhhh

SHHH

im a comedic genius in hiding you cant tell anyone or i will be exposed for the lying twit that i am and i cant have that happen im too young to go to the fungeon aka the fun dungeon

imagining a large pile of me is just what the doctor ordered thank you for that

im pretty sure we were talking about cool kid and bodyguards and dragons but isnt that your every day conversation sort of thing so whatever

#S33MS YOUR S4NT4 F1GUR3 H4S GOOD 1NT3NT

OH SH1T

SORRY D4V3

1 W1LL TRY TO K33P MY BO4STFUL 4TT1TUD3 4BOUT YOUR COM1C4L SPL3NDOR TO 4 M1N1MUM

3V3N 4S YOU PR3S3NT M3 W1TH PL4Y ON WORDS TH4T 1M GO1NG TO TRY TO NOT L4UGH 4BOUT

TRY1NG....

TRY1NG.....................PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.............PFFFFFFBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

1 C4NT DO 1T, 1TS JUST SO H4RD >:[

YOUR3 TOO CL3V3R FOR M3

CONS1D3R YOURS3LF PROMOT3D TO TH3 TOP OF TH3 P1L3

TH3 B1G, M4NLY P1L3 OF M4NY OTH3R D4V3S

4LL WR1TH1NG 4ROUND 34CH OTH3RS L1MBS 4ND GR4BB1NG QU3ST1ON4BL3 P4RTS 1N TH3 FR4Y OF BOD13S

>:]

> :]

>:]

dont worry man im going to revel in it all night long this monumental greeting of enthusiasm and joy makes me feel like a kid at a candy shop daddy decided to take me to get ice cream after class and everythings fucking fantastic in the world thats how it feels this moment in time im making note of it i can believe you when you say this new found relationship is not going to disappoint especially if it keeps this up its almost like drinking a freshly opened bottle of aj but not quite as good since aj sets that bar unrealistically high either way you get my point and understand my unspoken gratitude so whats up

#SNORT....#SNOOOOOOOOOOORT #PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFH4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!!!!!!!!!#1M SO FUCK1NG W1TH YOU #GOTCH4 D4V3 >8D

WORD TO YOUR M4L3 HUM4N LUSUS

M1N3 N3V3R TOOK M3 TO TH3 C4NDY M4RK3TS >:'C

TH3N 4G41N M1N3 W4S 4 G14NT M4G1C4L 1NF4NT1L3 DR4GON TH4T L1V3D 1NS1D3 4N 3GG FOR 4 M4JOR1TY OF H1S L1F3

W3 D1DNT H4V3 TH3 PR1V1L3G3S, D4V3

1D 4SK TH4T YOU N3V3R 4G41N D3L1B3R4T3LY R3M1ND M3 OF MY V3RY H4RD L1F3 UP TO TH1S PO1NT

*SNORT*

and the competing films including

the start of vantashood

how to stride your strider

and now featuring what to expect when youre a captor

will all be left without a single winning in the lottery that is movie business because the revenge of pyrope will blow the mind of the viewers that they will literally die in the theater and not be able to go see the other movies

#DO TH3Y CH1LDR3N 34T TH3M >:?#TH4TS SUCH 4 W4ST3 OF BUGS

G3T 1T???

*M1ND* BLOW1NG????

L34V3 1T TO STR1D3R TO BR1NG TH3 COM3D1C 1NG3N1USN3SS TO TH3 POSTRORS3 PYROP3 P4RTY

4NYW4Y, WH4TS UP DUD3? >8] 1 C4NT R34LLY R3M3MB3R WH4T W3 W3R3 T4LK1NG 4BOUT L4ST BUT YOUR3 P4RT OF TH3 B3TT3R H4LF OF MY 3V3RGROW1NG D4V3 P1L3

NOT TO M3NT1ON TH4T 1 4PPR3C14T3 TH3 W4RM W3LCOM3S

no shit really since when have your chromosomes decided to switch it up and do some fancy footwork into male territory either way give or take a few words and youre still making a better impression than half the people on this site making little old me feel like the special star i always knew i was destined to be

R3V3L 1N 1T, D4V3

1T B31NG D3F1N3D 4S BOTH TH3 R4R3 4ND MOM3NTOUS OCC4S1ON OF M3 M3T4PHOR1C4LLY SPR1NG1NG OUT OF MY S34T TO 3NSUR3 YOU TH4T YOUR T1M3 FOLLOW1NG M3 W1LL NOT B3 TH4T OF D1S4PPO1NT, 4ND OF TH3 G3ND3R-SW4P M1NDFUCK1NG OF WH1CH COM1NG 1N CONT4CT W1TH 4NYON3 FROM MY UN1V3RS3 4S P4R4LL3L3D BY YOURS W1LL UNDOUBT3DLY 3NT41L

1V3 4LR34DY G4TH3R3D 4 N1C3 L1TTL3 P1L3 OF D4V3S FROM OTH3R T1M3L1N3S TOO, SO TH1S 1SNT 3V3N MY F1RST T1M3 3X4GG3R4T1NG HOW 3XC1T3D 1 4M TO M33T YOU

CONS1D3R TH1S TO B3 TH3 "YOUR3 W3LCOM3" TO TH3 TH4NKS YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO L4Y ON M3 >:]

i will be the harbinger of joy

a santa of pamphlets describing the return of our friendly neighborhood superhero tilde

the children will scream out in happiness because this is great

#BLOGG1NG N3GL3CT1ON #BLOGG1NG 4BUS3 #LOL!

H3LL Y34H!!!

R1NG OUT TH3 SOUNDS OF TH3 S4NT4 TO 4L3RT 3V3RYBODY OF MY R34PP34R4NC3 1N 4SSK1CK3RS 2: PYROP3S R3V3NG3!

MY R3V3NG3 H4SNT R34LLY B33N PLOTT3D Y3T BUT YOULL S33 SOON

YOULL 4444444LL S33333333333333333333333333333333

(3XC3PT M3)

(1 W1LL NOT B3 S331NG MUCH OF 4NYTH1NG)

#4LSO WH4TS S4NT4 #>:?

S33MS 1V3 B33N N3GL3CT1NG MY SOC14L N3TWORK1NG L1F3STYL3

leave it up to tz to give me the enthusiastic greeting a man like me deserves