baby.

we've done this all before. we were angels once- don't you remember? this winter sky, how can anyone sleep? there was never such a night before. natasha maximovna. flirtation & threat elimination. second year.

[ofnatashas]

julixneaton​

He was too scared to reach out to his closest friends - scared of their reaction to his entry. Natasha is someone who has always been by his side, through thick and thin, but his heart does drop when he sees her waiting at his door. But then she hugs him, and he feels a huge relief that she’s not mad at him. He hugs her back and only pulls away when she does. He nods quietly. “Yeah… Um, I think my room’s empty now.” His roommates aren’t usually around at this time. “Shall we go inside? I’ll tell you all you want to know.” He lets out a sigh, the exhaustion evident on his features. He’s not looking forward to retelling this, but Natasha, as someone who’s important to him, deserves to know. With that, he opens his door, letting her in first and following her inside, closing the door behind him and moving to take a seat on his bed, looking at Natasha quietly. He moves to rub his face, waiting for a moment before he talks. “Thank you for wanting to hear me out. What would you like to know?”

it was in moments like this that natasha’s nurturing side came out, and when she walked in to the room and sat beside him, she wanted him to know that no matter what he said, she would understand. she holds his hand to stop his fidgeting, looking at him still with a soft expression. not wanting him to think that she was upset with him in any way. it was obvious by his body language and expression that he’d done it. now all she needed was the why. “why? that’s...i think my only question.”

[ofnatashas]

beafitz​

bea was very good at ruminating on things that made her miserable, but that wasn’t a skill she was particularly fond of. when she wanted a break from her own thoughts, one of the first places she would turn was into the pages of a book. she was reading atonement (at least their problems were bigger than hers) when she looked up to see natasha. “no, not at all,” she replied with a small smile, happy to see a friend but not yet in a state of mind where a smile could reach her eyes.

“good...” she immediately began gathering her things again. “then let’s go walk in the gardens. it’s way nicer out there than it is in here. i’m not sure what they do to make this the stuffiest room in the school, but god, did they succeed.”

[ofnatashas]

casiraghis​

the first thought that entered nico’s mind after reading natasha’s entry is: aidan black is dead? which might’ve brought a sliver of solace after reading what they’d posted about anya. but he walked past the boy on his way over here, so the only other ex that comes to mind is the one from new york. “ crazy would be an understatement, ” he says, tone on the sharper side, before leaning in to greet her with a kiss to both cheeks. he didn’t bring a bag. they weren’t going to study. “ would you like to talk? ”

she should have anticipated this. him wanting to talk about it. she should have planned for it. but the moment he kisses her cheek, anything she might have planned would have disappeared anyway. she doesn’t comment on his question, because she doesn’t know what to say. she knows if she were to talk about it now, she would tell him everything. and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that. “is anya alright? have you spoken with her?”

[ofnatashas]

kassamigos​

         WHEN KASS HAD READ THE NEWS ABOUT NATASHA’S BREAKUP ON THE GOSSIP BLOG, she had made the mistake of doing nothing about it. now, after the burn book leaks, she shows up at her doorstep with a tub of ice cream in her hand, and two spoons.   “ you still like cookie dough, right ? ”   she asks with a shy smile, green eyes watching closely to try to read the temperature of the room.    @ofnatashas​

she wasn’t surprised when kass was the first person who showed up at her door. truth be told, she didn’t know what to do at this point. it was still fresh, still new, and she was about ready to scream. the thought of lying hadn’t come to her mind yet. “i do.” she smiled a bit, moving over to let kass in to her room, and, as soon as the door was shut, she turned to her friend. “do you believe it?”

[ofnatashas]

@casiraghis​

natasha was prepared to deny anything written in the book about her, though she knew that nico would ask. and she knew that nico knew who she was dating when she was in new york. the power he had wasn’t a power that could be ignored, especially if he’d made an appointment to go and see her. she knew he would have questions, and while cecilia may know the truth, she wasn’t sure if she wanted nico to know. they had made plans that day to do some studying together, and when she opened the door to greet him, she was cautious. trying to read his expression before she invited him in. “hi. crazy day, right?”

[ofnatashas]

@beafitz​​

her friendship with bea had never developed much after their summer together, but still, there was a feeling of protectiveness that lived in her heart for her. and it appeared that, were they true, the things written about her could have opened up wounds that had yet to fully heal. and so when she saw her in the library, sitting by herself, she went to sit with her. “are you busy?”

[ofnatashas]

@julixneaton​

natasha wasn’t bothered about what was revealed. there was no proof it happened anymore, since cecilia erased any evidence that it were true months before this ordeal. what did worry her, was what she read about her friends. and she knew better than to take anything the gossip blog said at face value, especially considering those closest to her. julian’s, especially, did not make sense to her. not at all. from the second she’d met him she saw him as the kindest, sweetest man she’d ever met, and that would be true even if the book said otherwise. still, she needed to hear his story so she could defend him were the situation ever to arise. she stood beside his dorm room door when he was out, and waited for him. when she heard the familiar footsteps she’d come to know in the previous months, she looked up from her phone. “julian...hey.” it didn’t take even a second before she went over to him to wrap her arms around him. holding him as close as she possibly could. she pulled away to look into his eyes. “we should talk, yes?”

[ofnatashas]

fxithrush​

Her eyes lingered a bit on the other as she pulled back .. a bit prematurely for Faith’s liking. It all pretty much explained itself when she saw her face, bright red and shortly accompanied by a quiet stutter. “It really is your first time,” the female commented casually, wanting to lighten the air a bit as she eventually let her hand drop as well. “You’re welcome.”

natasha took a moment to compose herself, and it was in that moment that she realized maybe this wasn’t for her. the thought of being anything more than a quick kiss with a woman just didn’t do it for her. no matter how hot they may be. still, she laughed at her word, and nodded. “my first and only, i think. if you can’t make me want to be with a woman, i’m sure nobody can.” faith is literally the hottest person she knows. 

[ofnatashas]

kassamigos​

        KASS GRINS AS NATASHA TAKES A SECOND BITE.   “ yeah, i think we did too, ”   she glances around, but her eyes immediately go to claire. she’s the only one she’s really worried about today, not that it’s different than the past few weeks.   “ how are you feeling ? ”   she says, tearing her eyes away from her girlfriend.   “ you look incredible. ”

nat’s eyes follow kass’s, holding back a scowl when she sees who she’s looking at. she calms herself down, looking back up at her best friend when she speaks again. it didn’t help her and claire had just finished chewing each other out a bit. “how’s claire doing? don’t tell her i asked.”

[ofnatashas]

casiraghis​

“ with me, ” he repeats, not lifting his gaze from the chopping board. it’s clear he hadn’t expected her answer, mostly due to the way it was worded. it felt like they’d always danced around the subject, or delivered the same sentiment under the guise of friendship, and he could still interpret it the same way if he tried hard enough. but he didn’t want to. it felt like a few things had to be addressed. “ natasha, ” he says, finally looking back up at her, the name light on his tongue. “ one day, i’m going to ask you, if you’d like to spend the rest of your life with me. but, before i do, i need to be in a position where i can fully commit to you. because i can’t afford to make another mistake when it comes to you. and, i know, right now, i won’t be able to make you a priority. ”

those words surely hadn’t been what she’d expected to hear. her heart soaring and picking up in rhythm. she wondered if she was dreaming, getting slightly dizzy at the thought of nico getting down on one knee and proposing to her. she had pictured it so many times before, they’d talked around it even more, but she’d never thought that he would make his intentions so clear to her. she stops leaning back on the counter to take a step closer to him, taking his hand in hers, and kissing his knuckle before looking back up into his eyes. “i’m not a patient person,” she starts. “but i’ll wait as long as i need to. if it means i get to end up with you.”

[ofnatashas]

fxithrush​

To her, it was a fairly positive sign to see her speechless. She wouldn’t let the cockiness get the best of her though, not when she was focusing on something. As soon as she got the green light, however, Faith leaned in to press her lips against the female’s softly. She had probably never kissed anyone THIS carefully but she also didn’t want to intimidate Natasha, not unless she’d get a sign of reciprocation. Kind of difficult to hold back this much when her lips felt so gentle on hers.

this was certainly unlike anything she’d experienced before, and she knew whatever butterflies she felt came from the nerves she had experiencing something new. she pulled away when she got too overwhelmed, hiding her face for a moment, her cheeks flushed bright red. “that was...nice.” she didn’t know what else to say. or how to act, or what to do. 

[ofnatashas]

ofclaires​

– “RIGHT, LIKE YOU’VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING YOU’RE NOT PROUD OF,” claire shakes her head, positive that even miss perfect has skeletons in her closet. she walks around too high and mighty not to. “ bummer. here i was, thinking i was SPECIAL. but if that’s how you feel about the whole school, maybe you’d be better off somewhere else. ” 

“oh, it wasn’t about the video,” though that hit an entirely different chord for her, considering her closeness with leo. “just who you are. in general. video or not.” she laughed. “i’m not here for friends, i’m here to study. and anyway, if i left, you’d have no one to hate. and then where would all that bitterness go?”

[ofnatashas]

fxithrush​

“It’s worth an attempt,” she agreed, almost unable to wipe the smugness of her face as she scooched closer towards the other female. Faith seriously had been wondering why nothing happened between her and Nat yet, especially because she felt like they did share a few moments every now and then. Her hand brushed against hers before her fingers wandered up her arm gently, followed by her pushing a strand of her dark hair behind her ear while keeping her eyes on hers. “ When’s the last time I told you how pretty you are ? ” She commented quietly and while it seemed like it was part of the little game right now, she was being dead honest. Her other hand moved towards her cheek, letting it linger there. “ Can I kiss you ? ”

natasha was unsure about whether the butterflies in her stomach came from faith, or from the fact that this was something entirely new for her. for the first time in what felt like her entire life, natasha had no words. all she could do was nod, unsure of how it would feel, or what would even happen after. it couldn’t hurt to try, right?

[ofnatashas]

kassamigos​

      “ OF COURSE, ”   she laughs, putting a fish on a plate and handing it to her.   “ but it’s like straight cake, so i’m sure you will. ”

she takes a bite, taking a second to really consider it, and then she accepts it. nodding. “you’re right, it was good.” she replies, and takes another bite. looking around at everyone looking happy to be out. it was like the sullen feeling of gallagher had thawed with the winter. “everything feels so...clear. i think we all needed this.”

[ofnatashas]

ofclaires​

– “DON’T I?” CLAIRE ASKS, “ ‘cause i feel like you’re always giving me weird looks and never saying what’s actually on your mind. but uh, congrats on your bravery then, i guess, ” claire adds, some mockery in her tone. but considering she’s here on account of gallagher’s bullshit ‘community service’ punishment, then…she really can’t afford to take another swing. 

“that’s not fear,” she rolls her eyes. “by that logic i’d be afraid of the whole school. mostly, it’s disgust. and annoyance.” and pettiness, but she won’t mention that. 

[ofnatashas]

casiraghis​

every now and again, a thought creeps into his mind, like airborne poison, and he wonders if he could’ve done everything differently. it’s almost paralysing, as if he’s glued to a cinema chair, staring up at a screen as the ending credits roll after playing a montage of a life he could’ve lived. where moments like these didn’t have to feel so far and few between. but life isn’t like the movies, and not everyone has a choice. but he can choose to make this count, make it a memory they can look back on. “ what kind of person would you have liked to be matched with? ” it’s his turn to look away, cutting some peppers (?) or something. i don’t know what they’re cooking.

the question was heavy, and the moment nico looked away, natasha looked up at him. a lifetime of unsaid words could be mentioned at this point, though still, she was afraid. the reminder of the days where he wanted nothing to do with her still playing over and over in her mind, terrified of him leaving her again. wanting to be perfect for him, so he doesn’t go. she knows that’s not good, she knows kass would call her out if she told her she was thinking this way, but it was her truth. she didn’t want nico to leave her. still, she speaks. though she knows nico needs bluntness, and she doesn’t know if this will be blunt enough. “i would have been quite happy to be paired with you.” she did not look away from him as she spoke, no matter if he was looking down. “i would have been disappointed had i gotten anyone else. so there was no point.”  

[ofnatashas]

fxithrush​

“Maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet,” she pointed out, lips curling up into a small smile as a thought lingered in her head for a moment. “ Can .. I try to make you nervous ? ” It was a weird request but she liked to think Natasha and her were close enough and she’d like to respect her boundaries nonetheless. “No pressure though.”

natasha felt a flush come to her cheeks at the suggestion. she wasn’t nervous, nope. she just wasn’t used to this kind of...suggestion. it would be a lie, though, to say she hadn’t been thinking about it since last year. “you can certainly try,” she grinned, turning onto her side to face her. she couldn’t wait to tell kass !