ofridem

Documenting my life to help me feel it

[ofridem-blog]

الحمدالله على نعمة الأصدقاء

Because without opening up to them, we may go down and barely come back. 

[ofridem-blog]

بحثت عن نفسي في حياة غيري, فضيعوني زيادة :P

Saref

[ofridem-blog]

Fear of speaking out

My first ever post in Tumblr. I encouraged myself to speak out my life moments and experiences, as I found out the only reason for me not to speak out, was Fear.

Fear, and just that.

Fear of being alienated, ending up alone. Fear of being imprisoned due restrictions of freedom of speech in my area of the world. Fear of being criticized heavily. Fear of being pointed at. Fear of being an anti-confirmist, in a community where anything by a confirmist is viewed as a threat.

These fears forced me to hate everything this is about my Arabic culture. Not only I was afraid of being judged, but, to my mind, much of the culture I was exposed to didn’t satisfy me. I was afraid to say so as that would easily lead to alienation and abandonment. At least thats how I looked at it as a kid.

As an adult, I’m recovering from a Personality Disorder marked with perfectionism, conscientiousness, and lack of flexibility. Took awhile, but I strongly feel I’m getting there.

Now that is beginning to change. I strum the keys of my laptop, and heading soon for my next post. Hope you enjoy my ride.