Agent Clayton

❝I joined the CIA hoping to make the world a better place. What I did was end up enforcing how bad the world already was. Independant Ryan Clayton RP blog from Beyond: Two Souls tracking: ofsolitude

[ofsolitude]

ooc. ...man.. this blog is nostalgic. Even if I don't RP here anymore, it's a shame my only RP partner deactivated...

[ofsolitude]

here to continue rooting for you becuase you write so nicely and there's this sense of.... devotion? something like a chilling warmth if that makes sense. also i've grown to love ryan more as a character thanks to you.

outofsolitude.

OH, ohhhh.

I didn’t get notified of this message, but thank you so, so much. The fact that someone sees devotion in my writing, what you have described as a “chilling warmth”, makes a lot of that doubt of how I played him fade away as quickly as it came. I have a thing for complex characters. I don’t try to make them anything more than they are, and it means so much to me that my own writing made you see a character in another light. I haven’t been writing lately, but I’d really like to come back to this. And when I do, maybe I’ll come back feeling a lot less bad about how I write.

[ofsolitude]

outofsolitude.

...hi.

[xlightofthenightsky-deactivated]

that was probably one of the most difficult decisions that i’ve made.

i’ve been all teary eyed since the moment i made that post till now.

[ofsolitude]

- - -- out of character. 

outofsolitude. )) Heyheyheyhey. You're a wonderful person, who has a whole ton of potential even outside of roleplaying Castiel. There are times where it is best to leave an account when you don't feel comfortable playing the character anymore, because sometimes it's best to do things for your own sake alone. The people who care about you and your blog will understand. You have a whole life ahead of you, and in due time, if you ever wish to come back, no one will condemn you for it. I respect your decision, and if you really don't wish to play him anymore, you shouldn't have to. I got to roleplay with you for a short awhile, and regardless of how short the time was, I will always remember it. This isn't goodbye, either. You can feel free to move at your own pace.

Live long and prosper, my fellow writer.

[ofsolitude]

     [ He mingles in structure with charcoal, a shade of ebony fear composes his motives. His doubts fabricate an illusion of animosity, of antipathy— to delve further into his chassis, would offer a glimpse of empathy, palettes of dark and light, separate in nature that battle for his composure, mingle to form his ambiguity. Vigor defines him, composes his lament, vivid in nature to his own. ]         [ He is Maroon. ]

[ofsolitude]

- - -- out of character.

outofsolitude. ) You guys are all so utterly kind and patient, regardless of how long I'm taking to settle. So much so, that I may be able to get back into the writing groove soon. Thank you. Keep being incredible, you're really helping me more than you think.

[ofsolitude]

You're a wonderful writer. And I'd love to see you on my dashboard much more often. Really, everything you write is absolute poetry. You'll find your balance soon, and it will be even more beautiful than prior. Never forget that talent that you possess. If you ever need anything, my inbox is always open.

outofsolitude. You’re a wonderful human being.

I don’t even know what to say. I read this a few times over before replying, because this is such a pick-me-up, and I needed it so much. Considering I thought my writing style was my weakest point, it’s so great to know someone is actually looking forward to me being on their dash. If that’s the case, it actually inspires me to keep writing when I felt like no one was impressed by it.

Thank you so much.

Keep being an incredible writer.

[ofsolitude]

outofsolitude. Honestly, I probably won't be on as much. It's getting harder for me to write because of my lack of self confidence, and with such, my lack of having a solid writing style. I'd like to write less complex, but the reason people /follow/ me is because of my writing style. I'd feel like I'm disappointing them if I just drop my style now and start from scratch. This blog will not(?) be dropped.

Regardless, I'm trying to find new muses that stay. But, you'll see my writing style completely different there, as I'm trying to rebuild it from the ground up, because I'm starting to mimic other people's style rather than having my own.

[datmew-deactivated20140825]

                        Ｐｒａｃｔｉｓｅ ｙｏｕｒ ｂｅｓｔ

                                    ＦＡＫＥ ＳＭＩＬＥ

                 Ａｎｄ ｓｈｒｕｇ ｏｆｆ ａｌｌ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ

                                          ＢＲＯＫＥＮ

                                          Ｄｒｅａｍｓ 

[ofsolitude]

{ meme } "Do you love me?"

"Do you love me?"

Lapses in clarity drown away ease, contorting nature from easy tuition to disquiet. It breaks away at his judgment, until all that remained is ineptness, the firmness of his structure ultimately rendered discomposed. Fingers curl with uneven composure, as if to match the unbalanced atmosphere. Fragments of his turbulence were met with silence, the aura of it blending with vex and nervousness.

It offers no insight.No resolution.No repose.

Numerous reactions materialize, though they all abridge to one resolution. A breath of lucidity, a stretch of equanimity with fingers once again. Words that dishearten odds for reciprocation threaten to betray him, so he secretes it away with his unease.

"I, uh— I don’t—" — know how to answer that.

Equilibrium taints the tone of his lament, and silence grows less encompassing in lieu of a pensive voice of solemnity. Was it a dodge of the topic, or the absence of an answer? The ghost of a frown was obscured by natural austere features in musing, and the straight line of his chassis distorts to a sulk.

[ofsolitude]

{ meme } "Don’t you dare come near me!"

                { Don’t you dare come near me! }

     it pulls a string inside him.

—If you want to flail your arms and say I’m not playing fair— go ahead, but remember to put the blame on who’s actually at fault next time.

Nothing more but a lengthy breath in response to indignation, an extinguish to a flame of irritation that influence his very essence to speak. A perch of fingers against a desk with a ghost of a frown, suffocation in dissonance.

“Do you always have that mocking tone when you greet someone?”

[towersx-deactivated20131129]

bUT YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT? ONE OF THOSE RP PARTNERS THAT I CAN HAVE A THOUSAND THREADS AND SHIPS WITH. AND I COULD GO TO THEM WITH PLOTS/AU’S AND EVEN THOUGH WE’D ALREADY HAVE THREADS GOING ON, WE’D GO AHEAD AND START MORE. JUST ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO I COULD TAG IN RANDOM STARTERS, AND LOVE DOWN AND TALK TO OOC ALL THE TIME AND U GH. AND WE’D HAVE OTP’S & BROTP’S AND IT WE COULD GIVE EACH OTHER A MILLI FEELS. WOW THAT’D BE FUCKING GREAT TBH

[ofsolitude]

outofsolitude. *flomps* I don't want to reply to drafts. :|

[gilbertprincess-blog]

[nirvikalpa-deactivated20130416]

“I closed my mouth and spoke to you in a hundred silent ways.”

Rumi (via soshallshebreak)

[ofsolitude]

outofsolitude. *passes out on keyboard.*

[ofsolitude]

outofsolitude. Drafts are coming along. I should finish most of them tonight, as I'm planning to release them all together. My muse has been really uncooperative lately.