so here’s what happened:
over the past two months i’ve been struggling with a lot. a lot that i didn’t even know about, a lot that i did and wanted to push away. unfortunately, the last week has pushed me over board and i’ve been extremely depressed.
i struggled with identity: i didn’t know who i was, what i wanted to be. i didn’t know if what i wanted was what i really wanted. it caused me to break down yesterday and i’m just now getting over the damage.
i’m lonely: i feel like i have no one. right now, i’m sitting in an empty house and it just really makes me think like - if i was gone right now, no one would even know. i haven’t had those thoughts in years.
last week, a good friend of mine killed herself. she would come to me and tell me she had some things to talk about that were on her mind, and now i know –– and it’s been fucking tearing me up.
i don’t really have anyone to talk to and i’ve been distancing myself away and i really want to rp but i feel like no one will with me and i’ll just get discouraged and i can’t have any more of that. i already feel like a fucking idiot and i just want to leave. i really wish i was doing what i wanted, but what i want isn’t available to me.
i guess this is just me seeing if anyone REALLY cares. i’m so scared, guys. i hate this so much.















