archived.

radiant beauty & stark, hideous ugliness, gladness & sorrow, greatness & tragedy & brutal, savage cruelty.

[oftwentyeight]

                     FIRST / LAST / ALWAYS .

[oftwentyeight]

                     FIRST / LAST / ALWAYS .

[oftwentyeight]

vote here 

[lifeinpoetry]

maybe this is my hand’s inheritance / to hold / my grief

—  sam sax, from “kaddish,” bury it

[sierrasarchive-deactivated20200]

Is that a Flash Gordon ray gun, or are you just happy to see me?

[oftwentyeight]

notes about my portrayal: 

born 1928, this isn’t a fact that is wildly known or reflected on many records.

she was four years old when she was surrendered to ivan petrovich at the height of the holodomor by her dying mother. 

natasha has vague memories of them but given she was subject to occasional implanted memories she can never be certain how true they are 

though born natalia, her adopted surname ( romanova ) started as something of a bribe for ivan to get the opportunity to study under the taras. it stuck with her through her training and took on a life of its own as her moniker later would as well. 

her only enhancements include her youthful features / slow aging process / extended lifespan. a boosted immune system, she is able to heal from disease and injury ( slightly ) more quickly. her attributes in agility / strength / speed come from years of training. 

was trained by james barnes, then known as the winter soldier / they were partnered together in missions where she eventually developed feelings for him. they were found out, punished, etc. 

she was exiled once as a result of pregnancy where she eventually was offered refuge within the ranks of soldiers of the red army 

another effect of the widow serum, her daughter was stillborn - she is unable to carry a pregnancy to term 

her survival among them and the lore which sprung up eventually led to her being found by ivan / brought back in under the control of department x 

did actually spend about five years training with the bolshoi ballet company, while married to alexei shostakov. she lived a perfectly innocuous life, unaware that this was another test to re-established what was believed to be her failing loyalty to the state 

she defected before the fall of the ussr at first freelancing before formerly aligning herself with shield / the us government 

note: her allegiance has always been tentative and she has never taken us citizenship 

natasha is in the process of reclaiming the heritage that she was stripped of ( ethnically jewish / ukrainian ) and has such taken up residence in little ukraine as well as begun observing judaism. her sense of self is a relatively ( to her age ) new concept, she’s taking her time with it. 

she’s still labelled as the russian avenger, it really annoys her 

she’s something of a public figure as known among the avengers, there are still major aspects of natasha that are not public knowledge 

the data which had been dumped in the fall of shield was heavily redacted or modified previously, so implications of her dealings were either edited or omitted entirely. she can, then, operate in some anonymity and her former allegiances aren’t always widely known  

she prefers work in espionage but will play nice when she’s asked nicely by her friends to join in battle 

though not entirely in tact, she is aware of her missing memories as a result of leo novokov’s tampering. not exactly tangible, she still knows enough ( and isn’t exactly happy about it ) 

back to freelancing, natasha is once again hesitant of joining much of anything - her focus remains on human trafficking and will team up with anyone who is willing to put a stop to the major perpetrators of it ( even if the goal is to then dismantle her temporary alliance )

if asked, she will show you a slideshow of her cat with accompanying music 

[oftwentyeight]

amazing what not bleaching eyebrows will do for someone, etc 

[actiasteeth]

[martianborn-deactivated20190129]

“I am faithful to you, darling.”

“I have my body and you have yours.”

“Believe it if you can.”

“Some people don’t understand anything.”

“No one wants to know what’s in his head.”

“It should be enough. To make something beautiful should be enough. It isn’t. It should be.”

“Let’s kill something.”

“What do you do with a man like that?”

“Why take more than we need? Because we can.”

“You’d break your heart to make it bigger, so why not crack your skull when the mind swells.”

“Will you defend yourself? From me, I mean.”

“I prefer to blame others, it’s easier.”

“It’s a matter of willpower.”

“What is a ghost? Something dead that seems to be alive. Something dead that doesn’t know it’s dead.”

“You can try, but we will not remain unscathed.”

“Why live a life? Well, why are you asking?”

“When you have nothing to say, set something on fire.”

“I wanted to explain myself to myself in an understandable way.”

“I gave shape to my fears and made excuses.”

“Something’s not right about what I’m doing but I’m still doing it—living in the worst parts, ruining myself.”

“The enormity of my desire disgusts me.”

“Want something to chase you? Run.”

“Never finish a war without starting another.”

“If you were walking away, keep walking.”

“Why do anything at all? Not how, because hows are easy—series or sequence, one foot after the other—but existentially why bother, what does it solve?”

“What is alive and what isn’t and what should we do about it?”

“The fear: that nothing survives. The greater fear: that something does.”

“You will die in your sleep and leave everything unfinished.”

“I owe myself nothing.”

“I like dead things … They cannot hurt me.”

“There’s not enough room for us to be ourselves.”

“History is painted by the winners.”

“Trust me, I have things to say.”

“Accidents never happen when the room is empty.”

“People like to think war means something.”

“What can you learn from your opponent? More than you think.”

“Love might be the wrong word.”

“Let’s admit, without apology, what we do to each other.”

“We know who our enemies are. We know.”

“There are many loves but only one war.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“This is not what we meant to be.”

“Tell me a story.”

“Rely on one thing too long and when it disappears and you have nothing—well, that’s just bad planning.”

“In the wrong light anyone can look like a darkness.”

“It isn’t fair, the depth of my looking, the threat of my looking.”

“He is inside his body and I am inside my body and it matters less and less.”

“How much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before it’s some kind of murder?”

“Difficult, to be confronted with the fact of yourself.”

“Feels like I’ve always been here.”

“People don’t learn anything unless they are afraid of being left behind.”

“Being unreasonable is exciting.”

“You have to understand it as it is.”

“This is also part of the story: how the story changes. This is something I forgot to tell you.”

“I think that you might like it here.”

“I tell you these things because I love you.”

“It’s nothing like I thought it would be and closer to what I meant.”

“None of it is real, darling.”

“I will not cross you and you must move on. There is nothing else.”

“There is no way to get to the future from here.”

“I’ll live alone or in between.”

“Everyone needs a place. It shouldn’t be inside of someone else.”

“Your body told me in a dream it’s never been afraid of anything.”

“To hide somewhere is not surrender, it is trickery.”

“Take it or leave it, and for the most part you take it.”

“Shame comes from vanity.”

“Shame means you’re guilty, like the rest of us, but you think you’re better than we are. Maybe you are.”

“There is no new me, there is no old me, there’s just me, the same me, the whole time.”

“You want to solve something? Get out of your own way.”

“I hope it’s love. I’m trying really hard to make it love.”

“I clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary.”

“I’d rather quit. I’d rather be sad. It’s too much work.”

“What happens when I no longer want to meet you?”

“Nothing lasts forever: we know this.”

“You want it to mean something.”

“We could pull it apart, spend our whole lives pulling it apart and have no time left to do anything smart with the pieces.”

“The sooner you embrace it, the sooner it will leave you.”

“You are what you cover up.”

“I want to give you more but not everything. You don’t need everything.”

“Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.”

“It’s not that late.”

“Is it safe?”

“Are you dead as well?”

“I stayed as long as I could.”

“What does all this love amount to?”

[whatelsecanwedonow]

The Americans 🠢 one gifset per episode: ⮡   S3E09 ☭ Do Mail Robots Dream of Electric Sheep?

[oftwentyeight]

they’re beautiful and i love them 

[nimarchive]

THE BIG SLEEP by RAYMOND CHANDLER ┊SENTENCE MEME feel free to change pronouns/whathaveyou

❝ Tall, aren’t you? Handsome too, and I bet you know it. ❞ 

❝ Get on with you. You heard me. ❞ 

❝ You didn’t say anything. You’re just a big tease. ❞ 

❝ You’re cute. I’m cute too. ❞ 

❝ It’s too hot in here for a man with blood in his veins. ❞ 

❝ You may smoke, sir. I like the smell of tobacco. ❞ 

❝ A nice state of affairs when a man has to indulge his vices by proxy. ❞ 

❝ Tall, aren’t you? Handsome too, and I bet you know it. ❞ 

❝ I test very high on insubordination. ❞ 

❝ It was a ridiculous marriage of course, and it probably didn’t last a month, as a marriage. ❞ 

❝ Then she tried to sit in my lap. ❞ 

❝ Tall, aren’t you? Handsome too, and I bet you know it. ❞ 

❝ Do I have to be polite or can I just be natural? ❞

❝ Neither of them has any more moral sense than a cat. ❞ 

❝ Are you attempting to tell me my duties? ❞ 

❝ You’re not much of a gusher are you? ❞ 

❝ I don’t see what there is to be cagey about, and I don’t like your manners. ❞ 

❝ I didn’t ask to see you. You sent for me. ❞ 

❝ I don’t mind you ritzing me or drinking your lunch out of a scotch bottle. ❞ 

❝ I don’t mind your showing me your legs. They’re very swell legs and it’s a pleasure to make their acquaintance. ❞ 

❝ I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings. ❞ 

❝ But don’t waste your time trying to cross-examine me. ❞ 

❝ People don’t talk like that to me. ❞ 

❝ My God, you are a big dark handsome brute! ❞ 

❝ I ought to throw a Buick at you. ❞ 

❝ I loathe masterful men, I simply loathe them. ❞ 

❝ Just what is it you’re afraid of? ❞ 

❝ Get out! Damn you, get out! ❞ 

❝ I see. You interest me. Rather vaguely. ❞ 

❝ As a matter of fact I’m not here. You’re just seeing things. ❞ 

❝ Tut tut. Come into my boudoir. ❞ 

❝ So you like roulette. You would. ❞ 

❝ I like you. You believe in miracles. ❞ 

❝ She has a beautiful little body, hasn’t she? You ought to see mine. ❞ 

❝ You’re as cold-blooded a beast as I ever met. ❞ 

❝ Oh, go to hell. ❞ 

❝ You know such lovely people. ❞ 

❝ Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains. ❞ 

❝ I don’t know hell’s first whisper about you. ❞ 

❝ You might be a life taker for all I know. ❞ 

❝ I’ve been shaking two nickels together for a month, trying to get them to mate. ❞ 

❝ You think you’re so smart and you’re so goddamned dumb. ❞ 

❝ I’m too tired to talk, too tired to eat, too tired to think. ❞ 

❝ Remember me? I met you about a hundred years ago – or was it yesterday? ❞ 

❝ You hinted you had something for me. What is it? ❞ 

❝ You and I ought to get along. ❞ 

❝ I wish to Christ I didn’t know half the stuff that’s brought to me. ❞ 

❝ Knowing other people’s business is the worst investment a man can make. ❞ 

❝ Are you my bodyguard now? ❞ 

❝ You should see him sober. I should see him sober. Somebody should see him sober.  I mean, just for the record. ❞ 

❝ I’ve even thought of marrying him. ❞ 

❝ I love a nice walk in the fog. You meet such interesting people. ❞ 

❝ I could get as drunk as two sailors and love it. ❞ 

❝ My heart’s in my mouth doing this. ❞ 

❝ You have wicked eyes. ❞ 

❝ He hasn’t many illusions, but I suppose he still has his pride. ❞ 

❝ We’re his blood. That’s the hell of it. ❞ 

❝ I don’t want him to die despising his own blood. ❞ 

❝ It was always wild blood, but it wasn’t always rotten blood. ❞ 

❝ So you shoot people. You’re a killer. ❞ 

❝ Thanks, lady. You’re no English muffin yourself. ❞ 

❝ Let’s get out of this rotten little town. ❞ 

❝ Hold me close, you beast. ❞ 

❝ Kissing is nice, but your father didn’t hire me to sleep with you. ❞ 

❝ You son of a bitch. ❞ 

❝ Don’t think I’m an icicle. I’m not blind or without senses. I have warm blood. ❞ 

❝ You’re easy to take – too damned easy. ❞ 

❝ If you say that again, I’ll scream. ❞ 

❝ Men have been shot for little things like that. ❞ 

❝ Men have been shot for practically nothing. ❞ 

❝ Get it through your lovely head. I work at it. I don’t play at it. ❞ 

❝ I think the whole thing was just some kind of an act. If I wanted to flatter myself, I’d say it was at least partly for my benefit. ❞ 

❝ Do I have to tell you I loathe your guts, Mister Detective? ❞ 

❝ You have a lovely way with women. ❞ 

❝ I liked kissing you. ❞ 

❝ You kept your head beautifully. That’s so flattering. ❞ 

❝ Should I congratulate you, or my father? ❞ 

❝ Take me away from here, if you will be so kind. I’m quite sure I’d like to go home. ❞ 

❝ You won’t be a sister to me? ❞ 

❝ If I had a razor, I’d cut your throat – just to see what ran out of it. ❞ 

❝ Cute, aren’t I? ❞ 

❝ I bet you can’t even guess how I got in. ❞ 

❝ You came through the keyhole, just like Peter Pan. ❞ 

❝ You’re cute, aren’t you? ❞ 

❝ I’m all undressed. ❞ 

❝ By God, it was right at the back of my mind. I was groping for it. I almost had it, when you spoke. ❞

❝ I always wear my rubbers in bed myself, in case I wake up with a bad conscience and have to sneak away from it. ❞ 

❝ That’s nice, but I’ve already seen it all. Remember? I’m the guy that keeps finding you without any clothes on. ❞ 

❝ Listen, you don’t really care anything about me. You’re just showing me how naughty you can be. ❞

❝ You’ve been following me around for a couple of days. Like a fellow trying to pick up a girl and lacking the last inch of nerve. ❞ 

❝ I’m psychic. Shake your business up and pour it. I haven’t got all day. ❞ 

❝ She’s too big for you. She’ll roll on you and smother you. ❞

❝ I wouldn’t even argue with you. I wouldn’t waste the oxygen. ❞ 

❝ You didn’t ever get socked in the kisser, did you? ❞ 

❝ Did you know that worms are of both sexes and any worm can love any other worm? ❞ 

❝ Then I’m afraid you’re in a bad spot. And I hate killing. ❞ 

❝ I was afraid you’d come back. ❞ 

❝ We had a date. I told you it was all arranged. ❞ 

❝ This is the last time. The next fast one you pull I’ll throw you to the lions, no matter whose heart it breaks. ❞ 

❝ Stand there, you son of a bitch. ❞ 

❝ So you’re just a brute after all. An utter callous brute. ❞ 

❝ You tire me. God, how you tire me! ❞ 

❝ Can I go on being a son of a bitch, or do I have to become a gentleman like that lush passed out in his car the other night? ❞ 

[oftwentyeight]

that compass being referenced again 

[oftwentyeight]

seeing mcu!natasha in tokoyo: oh they sent scarjo out to look for new roles to steal, i see 

[hanukcat]

Houdini was quickly removed from the windowsill, to which he returned each night.

[holdingontoyoufordearlife]

Morgan, you’re such a fucking freak. I love you.

Audrey/Morgan | The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)

[tyrells]

Mila being too adorable on the Graham Norton show

[oftwentyeight]

things to keep in mind about my natasha:

she’s ukrainian / jewish ( further illustrating the total annihilation of sense of self / heritage under the s*viet regime ) 

her age is not widely known 

this blog is very much mixed canon bc i can truly trust no bitch