of wavelengths @ofwavelengths - Tumblr Blog

while i watch you unfold i just want to bend so you don’t have to but like the trees that grow sideways and give each other space i need not to be stunted. i am all strange scraggly branches trying to find light or root and if you block me i will find a way around.

– mjm

everything i do and am interested in is a way for my subconcious, and for my body to pursue a visceral kind of freedom shed the trappings of this world say fuck it i don’t care return to nature return to art return to love and intimacy and passion fuck the rules i hate it here everything about this life is fake

and i can’t fake it. – mjm

anxiety is being on the bus full of empty seats and wondering if you look like an asshole for leaving your purse on the seat beside you.

– mjm

in a sky full of ghosts and the hallowed grounds in the shade of your all-consuming shadow and your blackened fingerprints all over my skin deep down to my skeleton and on

every phase

of my life.

– mjm

i haven't slept in almost 24 hours no sleep on the flight to reyjavik but a sweet flight attendant gave me free wine and i saw northern lights and the sun rise outside the window and the clouds that look like mountains that look like snow.

in the morning there were 12 grim reapers standing in a circle under the dim streetlights and my mom asked me why i always wanted to be alone and i said because then i am free and she said just be free around people. i just got back from a dream with you we were in your house and there was a sense uncertainty you asked me if we were drinking tonight i didn't know, but i said yes then you disappeared with the music and told me to follow but i got lost

all the halls were pitch black and i felt confused and disoriented trying to follow where you went everything was dark in a maze of halls and i finally found you in the only light for miles and you poured us shots and asked what i’d like to listen to i think the thing that i'm always listening for in the music is that somehow all this suffering is worth it and there's even some beauty in it. – mjm

i wonder if the plenty dog howl means we’re all coming up to the final hour and when the crustaceans will unearth themselves from deep in the ground. eloi and the morlocks. i will keep drinking my poison until i can’t speak or write a word and the world is turned to dust and ash and there are no songs left or boys to hold or not hold my hand. braid my hair. tell me . you have loved . me all this time . the rain falls backawrd into the sky and i am shifting into differnt planes. changing shapes. my skin is vibrational. and you get down on your hands and knees and kiss my feet. whisper that song to me . louder now, and in the language that i understand. you could only ever speak it to me. offer youself to me and i will forgive you your sins. you are free. you are free. you can disappear. – mjm

i had a dream you were dragging your veins through the forest, collecting dirt then in secret, you cut my ankles and wrists to pull mine out so they'd drag too but i rushed to the hospital with a bag of all my electronics to make sure i stayed entertained and my veins just mended themselves. – mjm

semi dream

sitting at table in house

front door starts molding from the inside

man starts speaking in a very low baritone voice in another language: latin

end times.

– mjm

i do not know what else the point of life is other than quiet moments of self reflection in nature and remembering you’re part of it all. a small part but certainly

magnificent.

////

i do not know what else the point of life is other than unhinged nights under the stars out in the boat with your hooligan friends. just simply living without worrying about

tomorrow. – mjm

in the shadow of mountains and your cobweb beds and the broken picture frames glued together from when you and your lover were together but now there’s nothing between you but bits of dried glue. – mjm

and you’re afraid they’ll find out about you that you’re a sick fuck and an asshole. average boring and old.

and he said i can’t wait for this election to be over then turned on the tv for the next update.

– mjm

in the quiet of the morning with the crackle of the wood stove and the ticking of the clock and the warmth of a wolf dog at my feet i am missing you. i miss your huge silly smile, all teeth and childlike wonder. and the way you just understand me even when you don’t. and at least i still have some humour about it. and so i sip my coffee and baileys and reflect on the weekend gone by and all the many weekends gone by that i have missed you and wonder if you’ll ever come back. you are my favourite.

– mjm

strip me of the

c r u s h i n g

w e i g

h

t

of expectation.

– mjm

i wonder a lot about what makes a person who they are and am i just nostalgic and sentimental or am i rooted while the rest of the world blows in the gale force wind i had a dream last night that the wind was so wild it blew everything i had away i could barely hold on then my friends went out shopping in their car like it was nothing maybe that means something maybe i need more of a shield maybe i'm not as rooted as i once thought. – mjm

you and your book of mirrors and the way you see yourself backward and your smile upside down i've got both sides never know who you're gonna meet. – mjm

it took me over 30 years to realize that i / m a k e / things significant & they aren't inherently so. life gets easier when you realize people don't feel things as deeply as you and they definitely don't connect the dots like you so all you can do is d e t a c h and make nothing mean anything. – mjm

today i'm tired but more tired in my heart: from trying to prove myself over and over to people who never deserved it and i really don't care if you think i'm hot shit i'm just me i'm just a fuckin shell that holds a soul that just wants to be fuckin left alone to exist freely and prove themselves to absolutely fuckin no one. – mjm

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