Allie let out a breath as Gideon entered her loft and she closed the door before she moved to sit on the couch, her countenance as normal as she could make it in the moment. She wanted to put on the face she often wore for the world, the placidity that could fool even the best of them. But after the night before, Alessandra knew that she couldnât do such a thing, not entirely. No matter what she felt, or thought, the only thing that kept reverberating in her head was the memory of what had happened the night before. The memory that she had slept with someone who was not her husband, that she would never sleep with her husband again.
She also had to live with the realization that she didnât regret it. But Allie did not want to share that just yet, not when she already felt more vulnerable and exposed to the man in her home than she had felt with anyone before. It was not a feeling that Allie liked, was not one she relished, and she took a deep breath in hopes of keeping that feeling to a minimum. She had bared quite enough of herself to Gideon Prewett and Alessandra was not sure that she was ready to bare her soul.
She waited for Gideon to speak, his words washing over her. A raised eyebrow at his comment about being in the neighborhood made way for amusement, making her lips twitch at the corners as he explained that he had needed to see her. âThank you for lunch,â she murmured softly as she gestured to the sofa and the coffee table. âI havenât put a dining table in and likely wonât until Lucius puts in my kitchen.â Her lips twitched again as she turned back toward him, letting out a breath. âI only got up just a couple of hours ago.â It was a late waking for her; Allie had always been more of a morning person, had not liked to sleep the entire day away and now that she was feeling more like herself, some of her older habits had returned.
âI appreciate your concern,â she said, not unkindly as Gideon mentioned that he wanted to see if she was okay. Her voice was lighter than she felt, though Allie had always been able to speak in a way that belied her true feelings. Truth be told, she was confused as to why Gideon was there in the first place. Yes, theyâd slept together. But she hadnât gotten any indication that he had wanted a repeat, or that he thought it was more than it was.
âI have handled just about everything life has thrown at me.â And that was true. Sheâd handled her engagement to Thorfinn, had handled a betrothal with ease even though she could have held out for something more, had been a good wife to him, had carried his name with grace. She had also handled his death with more dignity than sheâd thought possible, though she assumed there were those who gossiped about her living in Luciusâ home, just as theyâd gossiped as heâd been by her side through the funeral. She sucked in a breath. âI think I can handle a one night stand just fine when compared to everything else.â
Maybe she should have asked Lucius how these things went.
The smile was brittle and she took another breath. âYouâve nothing to feel bad for. Iâm fine and Iâll continue to be fine. It doesnât need to change anything.â
Gideon sat where she indicated knowing it was in his favor to listen to a woman like Alessandra. He knew plenty of girls like her. Pureblood, beautiful, scary. They carried handbags worth more than most peopleâs rent but could kill you with a stare. Alessandra was unlike most of them because she had a brain better than ten of her comrades combined. She was smart and probably better with a wand than he could ever dream of being. It was in his favor to be polite and do as she asked.Â
Watching as she rattled on about how she had a hold on everything Gideon started to believe her less and less. If she was so well handled then why did she feel the need to tell him? It seemed more like she was convincing herself than him, but Gideon still did not say a word. As much as Allie wanted to pretend, Gideon knew there was more going on in that mind than she let on. If she wanted to talk she would talk but if she felt the need to keep it to herself, he wouldnât push. It had been their deal all along and Gideon was not about to change the terms because of last night.
âA one night stand? You wound me, Allieâ Gideon teased, finally speaking, âAnd here I thought you actually enjoyed my companyâ. It was a joke though it brought Gideon some relief. If a one night stand was what she wanted, he was more content being just that. He didnât expect anything out of it, but it was good that she had defined last night before he had to ask. It was good to know that they could be clear about the situation.
Shrugging his broad shoulders, Gideon shook his head. âI donât feel bad about last nightâ he told her, his tone taking a hint of seriousness, âI enjoyed last night. What we did was enjoyable. You seemed to enjoy last night, or at least it sounded that wayâ he couldnât help but throw in that comment before leaning forward to pull the food he had brought her out of the bag. âIâm not here because I feel like the fact we had sex needs to change everything. It doesnât. Sex is sex, we were fine before it and thereâs no reason to not be fine now. Iâm here because youâre my friend and as much of a handle as you have on everything, I still worryâ