Can We Take Your Order?

☕Six mods that run this blog!☕ Mod Noah, Mod Vicky, Mod Sailor S, Mod Chef, Mod Finale, and Mod Meme. We like to help people vent and be clear of their negative thoughts and emotions. Message us for anything!  We accept gay robots We are currently still updating, so please send us a message if you find any bugs or issues.

[etherealauralite]

Take it little by little if you have to

Recovery doesn’t have to be a big declaration of scary changes. It can start with going to sleep an hour earlier than usual because you feel fatigued all the time. It can start with telling your best friend that you aren’t okay. It start with simply acknowledging to yourself that you aren’t okay. It can’t start with reading articles about mental health, attempting to understand what you are feeling. It can start with slowly letting go of people who hurt you, instead of just completely cutting them off out of the blue. It can start with a breathing exercise you found online. It can start with anything that gives you the motivation to do good things for yourself. You matter. You are allowed to help yourself, no matter how big or small the steps may be.

[minijournals]

lessons from this summer.

slow. down. your constant rushing and need to get everything done as quickly as possible is impacting your health. i know you want to achieve your dream life, and i know the dedication is there. but there is absolutely no reason to approach everything with an overwhelming sense of urgency. you will get to the things you need to get to. 

prioritize your health. mental, physical, and spiritual. when your health is in check, you’re able to recharge and put your newfound energy into creating the things you want to create. the outcome somehow ends up being so much better, anyway.

little things count. though grand gestures have a place of their own, there is something to be said about the smaller, more subtle acts. donating the change in your wallet in the nearest tip jar. taking your 10 item to-do list and only checking off the 3 most important items by the end of the day, leaving the rest for the next day. reading a short passage before bed - 15 minutes of a fictional book, or non-fiction, an interesting article, or the bible.

you are stronger than you think. lift those heavier set of weights at the gym. say “no” more often. continue training your brain to rest at various times of the day. your strength may not be loud and ‘out there’, but it is there.

[phoebe-does]

Life is a juggling act. A juggling act between taking time for yourself, your school work or your job, taking time for your dreams or your family, taking time for your friends or your pets. Each of these things is a part of the 168 hours that make up a week. You have time. You will be okay. It’s okay to accidentally let a ball drop sometimes, that’s why there are more than one performers in a show, to help if something goes wrong. You might feel overwhelmed right now but get out a notebook or maybe your planner and line up a page for 7 days for this 168 hours. Divide the time you’re asleep or at school/work then see how much time you have left each day and how much time you have left for the week. It might surprise you how much time you truly have. These remaining hours you should then divide the time left between your other responsibilities like ‘general adulting’ where you do stuff around the house or pay bills etc.etc. or ‘dream time’ where you dedicate your time to work towards your dreams. Don’t forget about the people around you. It’s always best to have backup performers. You wouldn’t want to be left without a support system incase you drop a ball.

[doinbetter]

how to win at college

this also applies to high school in a lot of ways, esp in organization and involvement

I read this book by cal newport called “how to win at college” in prep for my freshman year & u should definitely read it yourself because there are lots of important points i don’t cover in this post, but if you don’t want to, this is my summary of what I think were the most important points he made. 

STUDY HARD, BUT YOUR GRADES DON’T MEAN AS MUCH AS WHAT YOU LEARN OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM. he prioritizes getting vital experiences such as

- joining a club and eventually taking responsibility in it and becoming a leader

- apply for scholarships every year (he said 10 a year) 

- volunteer, but not for your resume. do it to learn and become a better person. 

- get involved in research, and get involved in your major department (like go to the events and lectures, even if they aren’t mandatory)

- write outside of class regularly because writing is super important (example- submit to your school newspaper) 

STAY ORGANIZED AND ON TOP OF YOUR SHIT

- he really really REALLY emphasizes not procrastinating and studying / starting papers well in advance of deadlines. his rules are to 

- - >start long term projects immediately after they are assigned and continue to work on them by following a reasonable schedule (he says to finish early, revise, then finish again), 

- - > take 3 days to write shorter papers (aka you have abt 2 weeks to work on them and they range from 2-15ish pages) (aka make preparations pre writing, then write a rough draft on the first day, revise and focus your writing on the second day (make sure your arguments are very clear!), and polish your paper on the third day), and

- - >take 2 weeks to study for an exam. study in shorter blocks during the first week, like maybe an hour or so each day. over the weekend, add more hours. the few days before the test, study in 2-3 hour chunks to really cement the already familiar information. 

- get a filing cabinet for your papers instead of just piling them on your desk and having to search for them later. 

- have a HIGH QUALITY notebook and a folder for each class (or whatever stationery keeps you organized) and keep all your folders/notebooks/binders neat and organized. 

- empty your inbox and organize your emails 

- schedule your free time- aka have specific times that you choose to relax and spend with friends rather than unintentionally relaxing during work time, or worrying about work during relaxation time. 

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

- you NEED sleep, you NEED healthy food, and you NEED exercise. you really shouldn’t put anything ahead of these things. 

- NEVER pull an all nighter. if you’re studying ahead of time, this should be easy. all nighters aren’t glamorous, they’re unproductive, really stressful, and unhealthy

- keep in touch with old friends, and remember to call your mom

- make sure to spend time with new friends and take care of them. be there for your friends. 

- keep your room neat and make your bed!! 

like i said, there is a lot of important stuff that I didn’t cover so i recommend reading the book how to win at college by cal newport, and take what you need to from it. good luck!!!

[comfort--cafe]

Any type of learning or education can be extremely stressful, knowing your limits and what is healthy is important in reaching those high grades. 

[comfort--cafe]

Recently there has been a lot of suicide around me and it's really hard to know that these people are gone. I may not have been close to them but i knew that they existed. It makes me sad and I keep crying

I’m sorry to hear that you’re enduring this. As you would know, suicidedoesn’t just directly affect the individual, but the people who cared, loved,and knew them. It can be mind-numbing and difficult to cope with, it’s also ashared pain experienced by a group of people who are mourning the loss of the sameloved one.

So, find people who you can trust to talk about your feelings, find asupport group who understands what you’re experiencing and are willing to discusstheir own emotions. Family, close friends, siblings, or online support groupsare all willing to support you. These people can help you feel understood and provideadvice and tips to help you overcome this. No one deserves to suffer alone;these people will need your support as much as you need theirs. It’s better toget your feelings out, rather then bottling them up.

Additionally, don’t rush yourself. Take as much time as you need to heal,people recover over different periods of time. Don’t expect yourself to be okaywithin a few weeks’ time. Allow yourself time to heal and constantly reinforceand support yourself during this time.

Take time off from your usual schedule and give yourself some time to justfeel and cry, crying is an important role in healing. 

These links are online support groups who can help you talk and discuss whathas happened in your life and how it has affected you.

https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/topics/suicide-bereavement

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/helpful-contacts-and-websites/suicide-bereavement-and-p

https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/resource/common-experiences-suicide-bereavement/ ostvention-resources

We hope that you start feeling better soon, please take care of yourselfand those around you.

Mod Chef

[comfort--cafe]

Looking for New Comfort Café Mods!

Hi everyone!

As mentioned in a previous update, we are currently looking for New Comfort Café Mods! 

The position is available to any age, gender, sex, belief, religion, race, ect.

What we are looking for is people who can provide quality advice, provide references when needed, know how to respond to a situation with compassionate sensitivity, and conduct themselves in a friendly yet formal manner.

We don’t believe that such details (such as age) are a limitation or representation to an individuals capability to provide help to others. This position is great to anyone who is seeking to help out others and want to be in an active and supportive community.

Applications are open until we find someone who is capable of meeting such requirements. 

So please feel free to apply! 

Application Link: https://goo.gl/forms/M51XqZNmPEwUm5FO2

If you are the lucky individual who gets chosen, we will shortly contact you as soon as possible through the given information. We can’t wait to work with some new wonderful people to help keep the activity and community alive on the Comfort Café!

And thank you as always for being so kind and patience with us, we are really nothing without you guys. So thank you for being everything that you are. You guys are the best! 

From the Comfort Café Mods

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

It’s ok to do things that make you happy. It’s ok to learn a new language despite your parents saying it’s useless. It’s ok to play games if that gives u something to look forward to. it’s ok to do things to relax and calm down even if it’s not “productive”. it’s not a waste of time to doodle flowers or make cookies for yourself or make pretty patterns with washi tape. You don’t need to be productive all the time, sometimes it’s nice to take time to close your eyes and listen to music or look up at the clouds passing by. Your life is yours and it’s not any less worthy if you spend more time doing what makes you happy. Destroy the idea that life has no time for simple pleasures and happy things.

[comfort--cafe]

Doing things that make you happy isn’t selfish. As long as it isn’t hurting anyone, and it’s a positive force in your life. Then it’s okay to indulge in happiness. No one should be shunned for caring for their own mental health.

You deserve to be happy. 

[drumshoww]

HEY. hold up!

stop grinding/clenching your teeth.

drop your shoulders and relax them.

if youre hunched over, find somewhere with back support.

take a few deep breaths.

drink some water.

be kind to yourself.

okay. carry on.

[comfort--cafe]

(2/2) in real life, not just digital but our parents get in our way. we are trying to deal with it but im going crazy at the thought that people would find out and scold us and keep us even farther apart since we live far away from each other. i cant imagine a life without him and his comforting love and he cant live without me being his sense of happiness. now its literally driving me nuts that we cant see each other or be a little open bc we fear that there are people who will judge us. help ?

 hi there. so ive been told that im not allowed tohave a boyfriend by my parents repeatedly bc they dont want me to but i fell inlove with my best friend and have been dating him for two months now. hesreally the only person in my life that has actually helped with my anxiety andparanoia and i in turn am the only person who can help him with his own demons.we have to keep our relationship a secret (only few people know) and i reallyreally want to spend more time with him. In real life, not just digital but ourparents get in our way. we are trying to deal with it but im going crazy at thethought that people would find out and scold us and keep us even farther apartsince we live far away from each other. i cant imagine a life without him andhis comforting love and he cant live without me being his sense of happiness.now its literally driving me nuts that we cant see each other or be a littleopen bc we fear that there are people who will judge us. help ?

_______________________________________________________________________

Salutations!

Ask yourself (or them directly), why are my parents so reluctantfor me to date, is it our of fear of what might happen, the unknown possibilitythat my partner is abusive, or the age difference and fear of being takenadvantage of. Once you can understand why your parents are like this, then youcan start resolving the issue. Ultimately, this isn’t an issue between you areyour boyfriend. But rather a miscommunication between you and your parents.Communication is a key factor in building trust, this applies to relationship (asyou would know) but also for family.

Would it help if you parents met your partner? Would it help ifyou gave your parents some information on your partner? What can you do tobuild their trust in you? Parents are naturally reluctant to allow theirchildren to explore their romantic feelings (which in my belief is extremelybad for the long run), however instead of just trying to push it back. Catertowards them and find a way to make them feel secure in your decisions,allowing them to acknowledge that your capable of being in a healthy relationshipand that your partner isn’t a fictional monster they accumulated in theirheads. So, start this process by understanding their concerns and catering oradjusting their perception on your, your capabilities, and the possible relationship.Simply, ask them why. Don’t get angry from their response but continue askingwhy and seek a mutual understanding of each other fear and situation.

When you say you’re afraid of people who will judge you, what doyou mean by that. That statement is understandable if your relationship was underneaththe LGBT community, however this shouldn’t affect your love or expression oflove for each other. You cannot deny who you love, people should be able tolove freely. People may judge you, but in the end it’s your life. You need tolive it to the fullest to your content.

Thank you for ordering at thecomfort-café!

Come visit us again anytime!

Mod Chef                                                           

[snackwizard]

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

[comfort--cafe]

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, don’t keep it to yourself.

Tell someone, people want you here on this earth, someone does love you. Even if it seems like no one does.

Take a moment to reconsider, talk about what your feeling to a close friend or a trusted family member. Talk to someone, even if it’s your pet.

This isn’t the end, it seems like this is all you have right now. But you have so much more potential and opportunities to explore. But right now, you need to overcome whatever is hurting you now.

Please call one of these numbers before making your final decision.

Depression Hotline:[phone] Suicide Hotline:[phone] LifeLine:1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project:1-866-488-7386 Sexuality Support:1-800-246-7743 Eating Disorders Hotline:[phone] Rape and Sexual Assault:1-800-656-4673 Grief Support:1-650-321-5272 Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000 Exhale:After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253 Child Abuse:1-800-422-4453

Mod Chef

[comfort--cafe]

Hi, I had problem with this feeling of helplessness and emptiness before and for some time I felt like it was getting better, but now I just feel really empty and doesn't know what am I supposed to do. I always act like I am happy so nobody asks me, if I could maybe have an inner destruction going... I don't even know how to describe this.... Do you have any advice ? Yesterday I literally cried.

Salutations!

Crying isn’t a bad thing, in fact it’s very important. Sometimesyou just need to cry, the pressure is building, you don’t know what to do, andall you really want to do is give up and sleep. Crying can help recognise and alleviatethese symptoms, it gives the mind a chance to restart and recollect everything.

But by the sounds of it, you’re bottling up a lot of feelings andemotions that need to be expressed. Either to someone you trust or through adifferent medium (e.g. drawing, painting, exercise, breaking ice, journal). Humanscan’t always be happy all the time, otherwise everything feels redundant andempty. The reason why we can recognise something being positive is because wehave a negative experience that shows us that it wasn’t fun or enjoyable. Youneed both to strengthen the other. You always acting happy doesn’t help thesituation because you’re not expressing yourself accurately to what you reallyfeel like. This doesn’t mean you have to feel everyone but tell someone you’reclose with and someone you can trust. Having someone there to just feel withyou can help tame the feelings of emptiness and helplessness. But pick theright person.

Holding these feelings in haven’t done anything good so far, andyou know this feeling doesn’t feel good. So, something must be done differentlyto promote change. What needs to be done differently is dependent on what worksfor you. But it’s about finding what it is and working it into your regularlife. Either venting to a friend or venting through another medium. 

Thank you for ordering at thecomfort-café!

Come visit us again anytime!

Mod Chef

[comfort--cafe]

i have a friend and i think he’s talking to someone he likes and they like him back ??? thats cool and whatever but i just feel bad because i’ve never dated anyone, had a proper crush on anyone and no one has ever crushed on me. i feel like thats the norm and im the odd one out and i worry something is wrong w me ;-; even my friends who have never dated have had people who liked them but not me. im only 15 but im scared it’ll always be this way ;-; please help

Salutations!

The average male lives around 68 years and 4 months while the averagefemale lives for 72 years and 8 months, you’re only 15. There are 365 days inone year, that means you have 8,760 hours in one year.

Now numbers don’t always translate correctly, and right now itseems like everything you are experiencing right now is all you got. Which istrue, you can’t know what you’ll experience in the future. But you still have alarge portion of your life that’s still unlived. That isn’t your fault, it’shuman nature to be short sighted, we can’t be excited about the future if wedon’t know what it holds. We can only understand what we are experiencing now,and what we’re feeling now. So, when you say you’re scared that it’ll always belike this. It may be like this for now, but into the future we don’t know. So,we can be hopeful that the future will hold more and that things will change.  

Returning to the topic of relationships and romance, you may nothave a crush on anyone yet because you don’t see anyone being a suitablepartner in your eyes. I’m assuming your in high-school, so the number ofstudents in your cohort is a tiny tiny representation of the amount of peopleyou will meet outside of school. Don’t expect yourself to have a crush onsomeone if you’re surrounded by people who aren’t like you. Everyone isdifferent, so don’t expect the same occurrences to happen to you that you’veseen from others. What’s important is that you’re comfortable with yourself andyou can be secure and confident in your decisions in life. By working onyourself, others will see that. That is a very positive force within your lifeand others will naturally gravitate people towards you.

However, you could also be asexual or demi-grey. I suggest lookinginto this website to learn more about this.

https://www.asexuality.org/en/

So, it’s probably difficult to not focus on it right now, but tryto achieve other things to improve yourself. It may seem like forever, but it needs,and you need time to grow and develop. Things won’t always be the same for ever,that’s the nature of life.

Thank you for ordering at thecomfort-café!

Come visit us again anytime!

Mod Chef                                                           

[jellie-bells]

My therapist told me something meaningful yesterday, she said “It’s important to remember that when you’re depressed you have to nurse yourself and be extra gentle towards yourself. Just like an athlete wouldn’t break an ankle then force themselves to run that ankle. They rest as it heals and do not think “I am a failed athelete” they think, “right now something isn’t working so i’ll take care of myself until it does.“ 

Just like a broken bone, depression can change the way your daily life plays out, and pushing yourself too hard and getting frustrated when you don’t feel better is just like trying to run on that broken ankle and getting frustrated when it doesn’t heal.

[comfort--cafe]

Return from the long extended wait...

Hi Guys!

So just a quick update, hopefully questions will start being answered as semester break has given us the opportunity to focus on the comfort--café and you’re questions.

Additionally, two more events that we’ve been planning are going to most likely launched during these up-coming months.

1) A discord server for the Comfort Café! Met people, chat to us, and greet other people.

2) Comfort Café Mod Application, we will soon be looking for more mods to help us this blog. As you know, some of the mods have been extremely busy with university and other work. So, we hope that by getting more mods, we can at least improve our current situation.

So keep an eye out for these things!

Mod Chef

[comfort--cafe]

I really liked Deo for a while, and was hoping they would improve once they left tumblr. However, I have learned they have kept the same toxic behavior from here and now carry it to places like their Discord. It just saddens me that someone of such talent is driving so many people away with their awful behavior. I even stopped reading Pilot because I just couldn't read it while knowing the person behind it. (Sorry for this rant, you don't have to answer it. Just wanted to type is all...)

Salutations!

Well, hopefully their behaviour improves over time. People aren’tborn with an instruction manual how to control their emotions and how to live their life. Everyoneis bound to make mistakes within their life, if they apologise and try to improvefrom their mistake. Then even if their behaviour is awful, at least their tryingto improve. Which is a sign that they want to be better, which is something toconsider. 

Thank you for ordering at thecomfort-café!

Come visit us again anytime!

Mod Chef                                                           

[comfort--cafe]

Thank you for being there for me when I really needed it mods! I really hope your days continue to be positive. You have done a lot for me and others, so I hope we can do the same for you!

No problem Nony! A lot of use have struggled to keep up with the blog at the moment, but its good to know that we’re still helping people :D

Mod V

[lovelysuggestions]

i need to remember that recovery is not linear. there will be good days, there will be bad bad bad days, and there might even be some really bad days. but these bumps in the road do not mean you’re not getting better. they do not mean all the progress you made is gone. so please, if you are having a bad day remember this feeling wont last forever. i know it seems like it will, but if you can just hold on for a little bit longer, you’ll soon see again all you have been working for.