A Monument of My Own Sins

In which it started with Arbiter, and is currently with Bowuigi

[oh-hell-help-me]

ALRIGHT!

YOU KNOW THAT WONDERFUL PHENOMENON OF LUIGI IN A DRESS?!?!

DO YOU KNOW HOW UTTERLY ECSTATIC I HAVE BEEN TO WATCH IT UNFOLD IN ANY SITUATION WITH MANY ITERATIONS AND AAAAALL THE STYLES AND COLORS PEOPLE HAVE IMAGINED?!?!?!

LIKE-

I HAVE SEEN AND READ THIS GREEN BEAN WEARING WHITES, CREAMS, BROWNS, GREENS, PINK, PATTERNS, AND ACCESSORIES THAT HONESTLY ARE ADORABLE AND FITTING FOR THIS SWEETHEART!!!

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! HE DOES THIS FOR MANY SITUATIONS- LIKE GOING TO A BALL, DISPLAYING WENDYS HARD WORK AS AN ASPIRING DESIGNER, BEING A NURSE, FILLING IN AS AN ‘ACTRESS’, DOING A BAIT-AND-SWITCH WITH BOWSER AS PEACH, ON VACATION, AND EVEN WHILE GETTING MARRIED (and DEAR GOSH THE WEDDING DRESSES)!

AND EVEN IF BOWUIGI IS NOT YOU THING- THE REACTIONS FROM BOWSER ARE AN ABSOLUTE DELIGHT TO SEE WITH EVERY COMIC AND FIC I’VE SCOURED FOR JUST TO SEE THAT!

AND LUIGI?!? I LOVE SEEING HIM EITHER BEING VERY COMFORTABLE IN HIS OWN SKIN WHILE WEARING A DRESS OR BEING NERVOUS ABOUT BOWSER’S REACTION THEN GETTING SHOCKED AND PLEASANTLY SURPRISED AS THE KOOPA KING GOES BRAIN MUSH AT THE SIGHT OF HIM (AS IT SHOULD BE)!

I JUST- I love this- ALL of it!

[oh-hell-help-me]

Holy crabapples…

Will update later- heck the weather.

[oh-hell-help-me]

HUZZAHHHHH!!

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

FINALLY!

[oh-hell-help-me]

HELLLOOOO EVERYONE!!

HAVE YOU EVER JUST TAKEN ONE LOOK AT A FINISHED CHAPTER AND JUST YEET IT INTO THE RECYCLING BIN AND HAVE IT ZZZZT ITSELF OUT OF EXISTENCE?!??!

THATS WHAT I DID- ACCIDENTALLY!

NEVER NAME YOUR FICS SIMILAR ENOUGH TO MISTAKE ONE FOR THE OTHER!

NEVER!

AS A UPDATE FOR THE NEW BOWUIGI FIC I’M WORKING ON, I FIND IT IMPORTANT TO RELL YOU ALL SINCE MY WORK SCHEDULE IS CRASHING AROUND MY EARS!

UNTIL THEN, ENJOY THIS TEASER!

It sounds like contrived bullshit, but.. knowing the Mario Brothers’ reputation to be disgustingly honest? Greenie was serious- and probably correct.

“What’s in it for me?” Cause like hell is he working with a Mario Brother without a really good reason- like the end of the world!

The look on Greenie’s face tells him that the human expected as much.

[oh-hell-help-me]

GUESS WHAT??

I JUST WENT TO WATCH THE TMNT Mutant Mayhem MOVIE!!!

It’s not my usual topic, sure, BUT GOSH DIDDLY DANG IT IF I DIDN’T ENJOY IT!

LIKE- I absolutely LOVED the art direction going on: like, a lot of it reminds me of a colored sketch with how the lighting is visibly shown to be ‘pencil shaded’ (for lack of better word) or that ‘live footage’ -in the form of old movies- is used to show that window to human culture the turtle boys and their dad have!

That’s not to mention the narrative! It may be cheezy and cheeky in some areas, but that was the charm of it! Without cramming too many details (seriously, WATCH IT), I relished the cheesy goodness of found family, the crunchy crust of circumstantial conflict, and the saucy deets of watching the definition of teenage rebellion and regret is just *chef’s kiss*.

And, since I had gone with my Mom to watch it, I got the added bonus of hearing her cackle for the first time in months!

Overall?!?? I JUST- REALLY LOVED IT- ESPECIALLY AFTER WATCHING OPPENHEIMER!!

And….

That’s all, I guess..?

[oh-hell-help-me]

Flavors Of A Ship: Luigi Addition

ONCE AGAIN, I COME BACK TO POST ABOUT BOWUIGI (and other ships, as a treat)!

While I’m not as well versed in the world of Fandoms as ColeyDoesThings, I have been here long enough to have an inkling on how ships can be categorized.

This brings me to ships in the Super Mario fandom- specifically with Luigi!

I’m not sure about you, but the Green Bean seems to be a jack-of-all-trades in shipability thanks to the 7+ characters that I’ve seen him shipped with- and that is through my home feed on here!

And looking at AO3? I am given a fairly good idea of the current ship popularities that I intend to figure out as I stroll through the site.

For instance, Bowser, Daisy, and Peasley are currently the top three ships according to the existing tags- and in that exact order.

In a way, it also makes the most sense that the first two are prolific given the similar potential/established chemistry they have with Luigi! And Peasley? Who has elicited very gushy responses from the Green Bean in the few interactions they had in a single game?

I have little to wonder, really, to see these three as the Addictively Sweet Trio(TM).

On a more interesting note, King Boo runs fourth place in the fic count, and adds a spicy take of who is canonically Luigi’s mortal enemy.

Princess Peach is fifth place, and someone who I don’t usually picture with Luigi if only because I picture a more complex chemistry with Mario and her.

After her is the cavalcade of rare-pairs and cr*ck-pais that include Dimentio, Waluigi, Morty, and Donkey Kong. Depending on personal taste, I can see these ships easily dipping into the bitter, the salty, and the sour takes of what kind of relationship can come about with them just as much as the sweeter possibilities.

Regardless of who is your favorite ship, it stands to show that Luigi himself seems to be very compatible with many Types of characters, and I honestly have no idea how to process that. Like- jeeze- half of them are royalty and I bet someone will add more in due time…

Until I puzzle it out, this post will definitely be on the back burner for a continuation via reblog.

Until then, so ya all later!!

[oh-hell-help-me]

After my own recovery, all I could think about were the fics that addressed Luigi getting burned or experiencing heatstroke.

Most revolved around the Bros, as far as I read anyways, but there were a few that was Bowuigi-centric and had Bowser take care of Luigi after getting some sort of heat/fire related sickness!

It’s fascinating to see all the different takes on how that affects Luigi, and I’m honestly glad that I had it easy in some ways- not to mention the lasting stinging pain of a large burn (which I only experienced a fraction of with a hot skillet).

THE IMPORTANT THING is that, for most/all of the ones I read, it’s LUIGI getting nursed to health! While Bowser for sure has a resistance to lava- if his survival is anything to go off of- I feel that it could be bent a bit for a sick fic!

Like, we walking fleshbags don’t feel any sort of agony when placed in water, right? And Bowser presumably treats lava the same way, BUT-

Water eventually prunes and, if left in certain conditions, could lead to conditions like trench foot, skin sores (and fungal infections), and related moisture problems.

Why not do that with lava? Like, have Bowser try to impress Luigi with his skills, or make an emergency where

And when everything is said and done?

Have that extended submersion have CONSEQUENCES- let his skin become unbearably dry, maybe potentially flake off in an unhealthy way that can mess with his normal shedding process! Or focus on a specialized form of Heat Exhaustion- where Bowser is actually rendered sensitive to ANY source of heat!

Have Luigi, the doting husband he is, Fuß over Bowser and whip out every trick in the book to have his husband’s stubborn butt sit down and HEAL! Heck, let the Green Bean rope the kids into it for guilt tripping and help around the castle as their father recovers!

Let there be domesticity in Luigi spoon-feeding Bowser with temperate soup or helping him steady chilled smoothies as he keeps hydrated and cool!

Let the Lava-Based Sickfics rise!!!

[oh-hell-help-me]

SO! Mental health!

Has someone ever made a therapy fic for Bowuigi yet?

Like- I’ve seen this between Mario and Luigi in “Coming Down” by MrSpockify, but I don’t know any fics that have touched on my favorite Green Duo taking the time to build on their existing relationship while having a focus of also building on themselves for their own well being.

It may not need to be said for Bowser, but he canonically has Issues (TM), that definitely could screw over a relationship- never mind one that involves an anxious Green Bean! Aside from the more obvious traits of aggression, arrogance, and what-have-you, there are moments of loneliness tracing back to early childhood, hints of softness that he is quick to cover up with menace, etcetera….

With Luigi, his anxiousness and feelings of inadequacy would be a good starting point, but I feel like other issues of how he deals with those feelings would be a bigger hurdle than can be initially realized.

Heck, if there is a thing I would worry most, it would be how they both seem to internalize a lot of things- which can be unhealthy when that internalization affects any relationship.

Sure, I might not be a licensed therapist or psychologist, BUT the effect of these kind of issues can grow out of control down the line of a relationship- sometimes even fester and infect the people around them in a way that will Boil The Frog. If the frog in question is a relationship and not just the animal, scientific expression, or a music playlist.

Anyways, that’s… pretty much all I have, without really researching into it.

[oh-hell-help-me]

Welp

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I have no idea where this is going, and this is technically the shortest thing I've written so far, but know that this will be irregularly updated for the sake of recovery of backup files and health!

(Note: I had this on the backburner and realized that I might need to post it now before it gets forgotten should God try to strike me down again.)

[oh-hell-help-me]

A Not So Gentle Man

Ever since I read a quote explaining the difference between ‘harmless’ and ‘peaceful’, I wondered how that perception could be applied in Bowuigi.

Like, sure, Bowser has a snowflake's chance in heck of being mistaken for either, but Luigi?

I can imagine that affecting their relationship in many ways- especially when Luigi’s timid nature tends to give other characters the impression that he’s harmless/useless in ‘hero-ing’?

But we all know that is not the case! Far from it!

We KNOW Luigi is a gentle person! That he is a character who is more likely to try to kill with kindness than do a violence.

Knowing Bowser, who used to not even acknowledge Luigi as a threat, would have likely equated him under the same moniker as ‘harmless’ even though they have fought at least twice canonically.

In terms of their relationship, I feel like this would be a perfect opportunity to emphasize that difference if Bowser sees Luigi discard both labels- not to prove a point but by necessity!

Like, we see windows of it when he fought solo in the RPG series, captured Boos, and fought King Boo by himself. It wouldn’t be far-fetched for Bowser to see that too in a situation that calls for a bit of fisticuffs.

That’s where the plot can come in!

You can flavor this instance with political intrigue, an AU of the beat-‘em-up that is the Super Smash Bros series, a romantic subplot of displaying courting methods, or Luigi simply becoming a no-nonsense PTA parent!

(Bonus points if it’s to defend Bowser or the Koopalings!)

The main thing would be for Bowser to /witness/ this- not be told or shown through glimpses!

Can you imagine?! The utterly epic, besotted reactions? The stunned ‘Why does this make him hotter’s? The opportunities to boast and brag about his husband?

CAN YOU SEE THE POSSIBILITIES FOR COMEDY AND DRAMA?!?!

Ahem.

Overall, it’s a concept anyone can play with, and it’s something I feel would be a great part of the Relationship Journey for Bowser and Luigi, you know?

So…. IF ANYONE HAS MADE THIS SOMEWHERE PLEASE TELL ME (I am metaphorically dying for this sort of content)!

[woobifiedvillain]

Big fan of characters realizing they don't get to die. They have to live. And grow. And be a person. And deal with shit they thought they'd never have to. And be fucked up about it. I would like more of this. Enough dying for honor or as redemption. It ain't. You're just a corpse. There is no moral value in dirt time.

[oh-hell-help-me]

UPDATE!!!!!!!!

HELLO EVERYONE!

Sooooo……

Ever heard of a heat stroke?

Apparently, helping move heavy boxes in 102 degrees Fahrenheit (or 38 degrees Celsius) weather can take a toll on anyone- who knew?

I’m thankfully not dead, but it was my downfall in postponing posting since even looking at a screen too long had made me unimaginably nauseous as I watched letters squiggle and swim before my eyes.

(Never mind my traitorous, cramping fingers and inability to concentrate.)

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT I’M BACK!! And will make a few posts to make up for the days I missed!!

On a side note- *looks at messages and notifications*- holy heck I did not expect this.

AND SORRY FOR WORRYING YOU IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHERE I WAS!!!!

[oh-hell-help-me]

July 31: National Watermelon Day

Luigi had waited for this day- the moment he planted their seeds, he knew it was guaranteed that he and his family would be eating watermelon.

Up until the start of the month, he thought his chances of grabbing even a slice of the fruit was near zero with him and his brother being in another dimension (or universe… who knows?).

Which makes it an utterly amazing surprise to learn that this world did in fact have watermelon- even if it’s unusually sweet.

So, while he was extremely tempted on just buying the fruit when he wanted, he opted for seeds that will sprout replantable fruit.

The first few weeks had Luigi waiting with bated breath, unsure if the Royal Greenhouse was able to accommodate the seeds or if the seeds were viable at all.

And then he saw the first sprouts.

It was then that Luigi threw himself into the project, sometimes being joined by Roy, and carefully following the steps of watermelon cultivation.

If he was not in the Greenhouse, he was in the library researching fruiting plant care and preparation methods for when the fruit would ripen.

If he was in neither location, Luigi could often be found in the recesses of the castle making his own version of a vacuum sealer.

The only reason he comes out is to spend time with Bowser and the kids (and to avoid being dragged out). Without them, he likely wouldn’t have made it through the three months of tedious cultivation.

Then again, he wouldn’t be doing this at all if not for them.

…

Bowser was concerned for his husband- at first.

The pattern of overwork had been obvious, what with the decreased socialization and self care, but Roy’s involvement had stayed Bowser’s hand.

Then, he realized what Luigi was doing.

For some reason, the new addition of the Greenhouse has been receiving the most attention.

If if wasn’t for the fact that it was just a new plant, Bowser might have been jealous.

(…Okay, he might’ve been a little bit jealous.)

Still, the efforts his husband made to still spend time with him and their kids, in spite of this new addition, was enough to mollify Bowser’s fears.

And, in atypical fashion, he watches the weeks go by as the plants sprout into curly vines that somehow pop out a few pretty flowers.

He watches long after seeing the fliers wilt and be replaced a rapidly growing fruit, getting bigger and bigger into something that almost seemed famil-

Wait.

Really?

Really.

He- why- hmm.

From the near ending of the third month of growth, Bowser is able to corner Luigi in the library, scooping him up in a sneak-hug that rewarded him a high pitched yelp.

“Now, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Um…” Luigi, his cute clueless husband, stutters. “Reading?”

“I meant the watermelons.”

“Oh!” And Bowser nearly looses his train of thought at the nearly blinding beam of a smile that spread across Luigi’s face. “I’m growing some for us!”

“Obviously.” Not really, but Luigi didn’t need to know that. “But why?”

“Well,” Luigi lets himself settle in his arms, craning his head back to meet eyes. “I wanted to share them with our family on Watermelon Day.”

“Another human tradition?”

“Yeah!”

“And did you tell the kids that?”

“Do you think the watermelons would have made it if I did?”

“Roy probably could have reined them in.”

“Probably.”

“And what’s so special about them anyway?”

“Nothing really, just…”

Luigi breaks the eye contact, but the way he fiddled with Bowser’s claws showed a level of anxiety he hadn’t seen in a while.

“Before- before we came here, watermelon used to be one of the few things we could afford to celebrate with- a deal with a grocer, you know? It always tasted particularly sweet after a month of back to back plumbing jobs in the summer, and it always was something to look forward to.”

Bowser doesn’t twitch when Luigi snaps his head up.

“Not that I’m saying that I don’t have that here now! But- but it would be nice to share that tradition, and I…” Luigi looks like he wants to squirm. “I want to see you all enjoy that same bit of happiness.”

Well, who the hell would say that it wasn’t sweet? In fact, as the freaking Koopa King, he is in good authority to say that was the most sugary sweet sentiment he ever heard from his husband’s mouth.

A sentiment that always surprised Bowser, elated him in a way that made words hard to perfectly describe the urge of wanting to smother Luigi in affection.

“You sap.” And he kissed him instead, distantly noting that the fireworks of emotions that always came with it felt burning sweet this time.

Addictive, almost.

By the time they parted, their panting was the only thing breaking the silence of the Library. Until-

“I love you.” Bowser hears those magic words, and feels like he’s falling for Luigi all over again.

“I love you too.”

[littlebeanprotector]

This is probably the best thing I have ever created (and will ever create) 💚

[oh-hell-help-me]

July 30: Paperback Book Day

Bowser was aware that Iggy had a hard time NOT making explosions-

Or spills-

Or overall destruction of his surroundings when experimenting.

However, his track record with other interests and hobbies couldn’t be described in anything other than meticulous.

And that included reading.

If not for the Royal Library, which already held a notable amount of reference books, Bowser is sure that Iggy would have spent nearly all of his allowance on academical books and journals.

(He’s not sure if that would have been better or worse for the Royal Lab’s integrity.)

Regardless, it wasn’t a secret that Iggy liked paperbacks more than hardbacks, and his husband was the kind of person to latch onto that information.

Next thing he knew, he is acoosted by an ecstatic Iggy, who was rambling about the book he found wrapped on his work table and ‘was it you dad?’.

Apparently, it was a newly published academic journal that featured research from his idol- Professor Elvin Gadd.

Bowser felt a sense of ‘deja vu’ -or is it ‘presque vu’- at the mention of him. It was like an itch in the back end of his brain that he could barely scratch-

“The one that makes vacuums-?”

“It’s a Poltergust, dad! He’s a famous for Ghost Research, remember?”

“Oh, yeah!” He didn’t, but now that Iggy mentioned it- “The same one Luigi works for?”

It took a few seconds of silence for Bowser to recognize that Iggy had stopped talking, and a glance at his wide-eyed, gap-mouthed expression had inflicted a certain sense of trepidation.

“What.”

“What…?”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘WORKED WITH’?”

Bowser finds himself almost jumping from surprise, not expected Iggy of all his kids shouting.

“You know- when his brother got his a- butt captured by King Boo?”

“YOU MEAN HE’S BETA TESTED THE POLTERGUST 3000?!” And barely gives him time to answer before abruptly running out the door.

Oh boy.

…

The next time he hears about the journal development, it’s through a tuckered-looking Luigi who barely bothers to change into PJs before crawling under the covers of their bed and curling into his side.

Ironically, it was right when he was reading one of the few paperback journals he owns, reading glasses hanging on the tip of his nose.

“Are you… alright?”

“Mhhhn.”

Oh, he’s gone un-wordy. “Is it about Iggy?” Cause no way is it not with the way he ran out.

“Mn.”

“…Is it about science?”

“Hhhhn, mhhm.”

Just about, but not quite? Then- “Did he ask you about his idol?”

“Mn.”

Ah. “He interrogated you.”

“Hn.”

He reaches out to pet his hair, “Do you want to talk about it- in the morning, anyway?”

There was a little bit of silence as he continued petting his husbands hair, throwing in a few scritches that he’s been told to be pretty soothing.

The only reason that he knew Luigi was still awake was the insistent push against his claws for more.

“Mhn.”

“Alright.” He stops scratching, but the high pitiful whine from his husband incited him to continue. “The morning then.”

It only took a few minutes, but Luigi eventually dropped off to sleep- making his usual cute snores as he curled closer to his side.

With a nuzzle into the lump where he could make out his husband’s head, Bowser joins him.

After all, he couldn’t resist the draw of simply curling up with his love, even against the escalating plot of his favorite paperback.

[oh-hell-help-me]

July 29: National Lipstick Day

Luigi hadn’t dabbled much in makeup, but Wendy was adamant that he finds his ‘colors’.

Starting from his foray into dresses, his only experience with lipstick is the clear gloss he puts on with his more put-together outfits.

Upon learning this, however, Wendy put her foot down:

“You mean to tell me you don’t have any lipstick?!”

“Um-“ Luigi remembers tugging at his gloves nervously, unsure where exactly it became an interrogation. “I, never really brought any? And… it didn’t seem like a big deal…”

Junior, who was doodling nearby, joined Wendy on staring at him in shock. “But Mama! You would look even prettier!”

“Um…”

“Junior’s right!” His daughter is quick to grab his hand, tugging him to and out the door and -presumably- to her room. “A dress without makeup is like a suit with no tie! It’s required by fashion law!”

From there, it was a series of events that had led to Luigi putting on his favorite dress, getting the rest of the kids as a makeshift judge panel, and ‘posing’ for each color and shade imaginable.

His personal favorites where ‘Nude Beach’ and ‘Pretty in Pink’, colors that went well with his skin tone and apparently gave him a ‘naturalistic look’.

But, overall, Luigi didn’t think there would be any shades he would really like-

And then he tried ‘Written in Blood’ (what are these names).

It was a dark red, a few shades lighter than dried blood (which he knew because of kitchen related accidents), and had let his blue eyes ‘pop’.

Mostly, he liked how it made him look almost elegant- maybe even a bit alluring, for a lack of a better word.

Of course, the kids just thought of it as ‘pretty’, but he’ll take their unanimous agreement on the color being ‘his’.

And Luigi ended up with a new, if not small, collection of lipstick.

From then, he dipped into wearing lipstick every now and then, usually sticking to the natural colors for everyday use and wearing the dark red for special occasions.

(It also led to growing his collection through recommendations from Peach, Daisy, and Wendy, but it’s a story for another time.)

The first time he wore it in front of Bowser was during their fifth anniversary, eliciting a sputtering, wide-eyed reaction that had Luigi feeling particularly fluttery.

And when Bowser nervously asked if he could wear it more often?

Well, Luigi may have acquiesced for more than one reason, but the smoldering brimstone look from his husband was his biggest.

[oh-hell-help-me]

July 28: National Waterpark Day

Bowser wasn’t very fond of water.

Hell, between getting dunked in a pool or getting dropped into lava (again), he would always choose the latter.

However, even he is not immune to the call of waterparks.

Rarely had he ever actually went to one when he was Junior’s age, but having kids apparently meant that he would be going to one whether he liked it or not.

Thankfully, having a volcanic kingdom didn’t stop a nearby town from constructing several waterparks- some that are even specialized for Koopas.

So, with several consecutive days of begging, whining, and noise-induced headaches, Bowser relented in clearing out his and Luigi’s schedules and booked it towards the nearest, best-known waterpark called ‘Sliderdown’.

And it went just as expected.

Half of his kids (Larry, Lemmy, Roy, and Junior) went at the slides like they had a mission- bringing a chaotic whirl of activity that traveled the whole park.

The other half had found a particular slide the liked and stuck to it for hours.

And his husband? Well, aside from playing peacekeeper between the kids and attendants, Luigi was the one who was in charge of enforcing a lunch break.

Bowser sort of hung back from the slides, considering his size, but found himself eyeing the biggest slide- one of the ones that uses a raft large enough for six riders.

Maybe…

Before he even started to convince himself out of it, Luigi catches him staring and spends all of two seconds thinking before calmly demanding “Do it.”

“Do what?”

“Ride.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His husband snorts. “You do. And if you want, I can go with you.”

And Bowser doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but the soft, encouraging look in Luigi’s eyes make it easier to do so.

Next thing he knew, he had chosen a raft, been led up concrete stairs, waited patiently as the attendant directed them into position, and held his breath as the raft almost sticks to the precipice of the slide-

And then they were sliding- fast.

Bowser is barely able to register Luigi’s tight grip on his arm as the wind swept past them and the water sprayed at them from below- it felt like they were falling for the most part, and even the whirlpool-like section barely slowed them down before speeding up again-

And with a giant splash, it was over.

Their exit had briefly drawn attention of the public, but one look at the stunned faces of the Kingdom’s Royalty had them quickly look away.

“That. Was. AWESOME!”

“Dios mio…”

“WE GOTTA GO AGAIN!”

And they did, although Luigi has taken to sitting in his lap for the next few rides.

Not a bad way to end a summer day, honestly.