katherinejbishop:
“Maybe they should try vacationing on the surface of the sun or something,” she suggested bitterly, she’d evidently had enough of the male population at Broadripple for one week. Except for Coach Cobb perhaps but only because he paid less attention to Kat and Andrea being disruptive than Sister Michael did. “PBD,” she suggested, “Plant-based dick- BPBDE,” she almost had a conniption trying to say it but she got there, “Big plant based dick energy,” she clarified with a laugh. Anybody that heard the two girls chattering at one another would likely push them both into the well at once but Kat thought that they were hilarious and charming and extremely attractive and that every word they uttered was as worth saying as it was hearing.
She laughed and threw her head back without realizing that perhaps Drea’s grip was saving her life or at least the functionality of her spine in her increasingly precarious position. “I’m honestly like a saint because there is nothing but small dicks on this campus- except for you, obviously,” she insisted, “I’m Mother Teresa of hand jobs- I should get house points for my charity,” she joked, though she did sincerely think that she deserved more in return for how generous she was in words and gestures toward the boys of BA.
“Oh well yeah- obviously,” that was a good point, she thought. If she was indeed going to date a woman or at least give it her very best shot, Andrea Pearson should probably be at the top of her to-do list. “It’s just at the pool party she was all over me,” not true, “-like saying I was eth-” oh fuck, what was the word? “Ethreal- Ethereal,” nailed it, “Like, I don’t know, an angel or a Goddess or something,” Kat added that herself for a little bit of flare but though it was perfectly attuned with how Ella saw her. “-and we kissed a bit,” she added, arguably something she should have lead with but alas. “If we had children they would probably just look the same,” she noted, ignoring the fact that she and Ella would not be producing biological children together any time soon, “Like just blonde and pale and tall,” like the rest of Kat’s family, in fact. “-our children would be hot though,” she bumped shoulders with Drea affectionately, simultaneously ignoring the inherent danger of them both falling into the well because of it and the fact that she’d just referred to children as hot.
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andrea laughed easily as kat came up with her acronym for her monster dong, that was apparently now made out of mushed peas or whatever went into veggie burgers. “ oh yeah, my pbd is huge, ” drea confirmed, playing along with stupid smirk pulling up the corners of her lips. “ my bpbde? even bigger, if that’s possible. ” she added, having to say that one a little slower to make sure she said it right. it didn’t quite roll off the tongue the same way bde or even pbd did. either way she played along happily to what kat was saying, she’d much rather talk about stupid things and make jokes and be disgusting over talk about damian a second longer. as far as drea was concerned the fenwick senior was as good as dead, she wouldn’t waste another breath on him unless she absolutely had to or if kat wanted to talk shit about him.
she gave a snort as kat described her easiness as some sort of charity. to a degree she agreed. hand jobs were an act of charity and the guys both kat and herself had given them too should be far, far more grateful. but it certainly wasn’t a saintly act and even if broadripple wasn’t a catholic school it would never and shouldn’t ever award points for it. “ you know, you’re lucky. maximo is probably the only house captain that might agree with you on that. ” she mused, thinking kat was lucky to have max as a house captain for more than just that. melleray didn’t have a captain at the moment, but the options weren’t looking great. “ you could even earn a special award for earning so many house points. ” she teased, features splitting into a smile once more.
“ thank you, ” she said, flipping a lock of curly hair over her shoulder as kat said it was obvious that she’d be the top of the list if kat started going for women. but then it was back on to ella, and why kat had, for any second, considered her girlfriend material over her best friend. “ wow, ” drea said, not that she was shocked about ella and kat kissing at the pool party. that wasn’t even a little bit shocking truth be told. “ you were busy at that party, huh. how many charitable and saintly hand jobs did you give out that night? ” she teased, usually she’d go for a poke of kat’s stomach with such a joke but she wasn’t sure of the blonde’s stability if she did such a thing. “ cute though, you know, in an albino sort of way, ” she assured, being genuine about the cute thing and an asshole about the albino thing. but then she smiled when kat said their own children would be hot. because andrea totally agreed. if there was a way for her and kat to have children, they would totally be hot. “ duh, ” she agreed, before deciding she’d had enough of trying to hold her steady atop the well, taking her hands and pulling her down (as gently as possible) as she took a couple steps back. “ we should find one of those apps that like merges faces together, so we’d know just how hot our kids would be. ” she suggested, spinning so they were both facing the same direction and she could loop her arm through kat’s.
