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coral

x nature blog x

I am attempting to stuff all I feel for you into your body in fear that if it found its way into mine the sheer ache would devour me. I have seen those closest to me become shaky foundations under hurricanes of dysfunction masquerading as what was meant to be, torn apart by hand that felt soft as lust in moments that only knew the language of what feels right. I prayed to God I’d never find the man that made me forget even the softest lips were made for the sole purpose of hiding teeth. But the moment I saw you, all of the air rushed out of my lungs like refugees into the foreign land. It was as if everything inside of me was making room for sensations people die of and for in equal measure. I have begun to see your eyes in liquor stores, your lips every song I hear, your hands in the air that touches my skin without asking for anything in return. Maybe I’ve lost myself in your arms and there is only insanity on these shoulders instead of good sense, but I can’t deny that only demolished homes can claim possession of nature. I can’t deny I want all of you. I can’t deny that doing so may be a sacrifice instead of an exchange. I can only hope we can build together instead of tearing apart all we’ve constructed, but at the end of the day I am so tired of my mind spinning in your wake. Because I don’t want to just be friends. I want you to understand what it is like to kiss me and forget that men wage war. Is that too much to ask? Am I too much for you? Is this too much for you? I’m going crazy. All I can think in your presence is “I love you.” I don’t know if that’s even true, but all that I possess is aching to possess you.

ap