My Inspiration, My Hero: Ned Vizzini
This may be the hardest thing I have written in my life so far.
In August of 2011, I read those magical words that have changed my life. "It's hard to talk when you want to kill yourself." The opening line to "It's Kind of a Funny Story," by Ned Vizzini. Not long before I read those words, my brother came home with the movie from Redbox, and as soon as I finished watching it, I started it over from the beginning. The story truly resonated with me. And when I realized it was based off of a book, I knew I had to buy it. Luckily for me, my grandma had given me a $30 Barnes and Noble gift certificate for my 16th birthday. It was perfect, I'd take that money and buy the book, and Panic! at the Disco's new CD. Two things I was desperately anticipating having in my posession.
When my mom and I got to Barnes and Noble, we stayed for a few hours, drinking Starbucks and reading books and magazines, a ritual for the two of us. I was pretty far into the book by the time we got home. I finished the book within a couple of days, a pretty big feat for me at the time. I was going through a lot that I won't go into. Which made the book even more special. The story was fantastic, but I was very impressed with the writing style itself. It wasn't something you saw often, but it was something I was very familiar with. It reminded me of my own. Over the years, I've definitely penned quite a few stories. I've participated in National Novel Writing Month every November since 2005, and I've completed it a couple of times. This story was written like one of my own, except male.
As soon as I finished the book I reread it, just as I'd done with the movie. I finished it quicker this time. The back of the book has an advertisement for Ned Vizzini's book "Be More Chill," and I knew I had to get that too. Especially reading the description. "Jeremy is your average high school dork - until the day he swallows the 'squip,' a pill-sized supercomputer that transforms him from supergeek to the coolest guy in class." Sounded absolutely hilarious. I bought that soon after. It took me 2 days to read. I had to find out if Ned Vizzini wrote anything else and he did, "Teen Angst? Naaah...: A Quasi-Autobiography." I checked Barnes and Noble and they didn't have it in stores, but I did find it for $0.01 plus $3.99 shipping and handling on Amazon. I asked my mom to buy it, she did, and I read that one even quicker. I quickly found out that not only is Ned Vizzini's writing parallel to my past work, but his person seems familiar as well. For instance he speaks of a band he had when he was younger, Wormwhole, and yes that's how it was spelled. It was just him and his friend and they had two songs. Alternative alternative. Very awesome. I at the same age, had a band, The Rotten Bananas, with my step-sister. We were awesome. We have yet to make any music, but we definitely have 5 albums worth of song titles. And cover art for the second album.
After reading all three of his books I had to tell him how much he made an impact on my life. So I did, September 18, 2011, I sent him a message on Facebook. 3 days later he responded. It made my day. He was wonderfully nice to me. So of course, I added him on Facebook. Whenever I had felt bad from then until now, I just pick up one of his books and read it. I've always known books to be a powerful escape, but then you're just back to where you are when you put the book down. Not Vizzini's book, I always feel better. Like reading those specific combination of words puts everything into perspective. I feel reassured and I feel like I have a friend out there somewhere.
On Wednesday, January 22, 2014, I found out that Ned Vizzini had died. He died in December. The 19th to be exact. Needless to say I was absolutely devastated. I still am. The tears wouldn't stop, and I find myself crying every 1-2 hours. It hurts just writing this. I find myself Googling his name just to make sure what I read was correct. Even though I've read it plenty of times. So this week on Oh My God Books! is going to be Vizzini week. I will read all 4 of his books (solo books, I'm going to wait to read "House of Secrets," by Ned Vizzini and Chris Columbus), in order of when they were published starting tomorrow, January 26. It feels like an apporpriate way to celebrate his life, by supporting him, even in death.
I hope his rest is chill.
Ned Vizzini
April 4, 1981 - December 19, 2013
