youâre too boring for sae? never
req, sorry this took so damn long, law + history is destroying me n iâve been procrastinating like crazy đ
youâve seen countless pictures of other soccer players and their girlfriends together. the cute photos of their dates, the reels, the videos, all of it â their vacations in hot sandy countries, visits to bakeries that were famous for tooth achingly sweet treats and bubbly couple spa days.
their girlfriends too. models, actresses, influencers, all women of high regard that sparkled with confidence. glamorous was always the first word that came to mind when thinking about any of them.
compared to you, where organised dates between you and sae usually werenât carried out, calendar dates forgotten and going out with him sometimes felt like you were wasting his time â you couldnât help but be riddled with a lingering anxiety.
he would come home from practice tired and all you could do was sooth him with words. small praises that you thought would help put his mind at ease. your quality time felt empty, and you were insecure.
no dates, no outings, nothing.
you just felt like you couldnât compare. you were such a parallel to the usual âtypeâ of soccer players. why was he with you when he could have one of those top models who likes to travel? or one of those influencers who would benefit his career? someone who could give him more than soft sentences and sweet words?
with the lack of intimacy, you believed the romantic days of your relationship had began to diminish and naturally assumed he felt the same.
which was exactly why you had to end it.
the chill was unsettling as you waited for him to come home. your entire body was on edge and there was a thick lump in the back of your throat as the silence of the apartment was filled with the soft tick of the clock. it echoed almost eerily around the room and you glanced at it.
the hands read â23:19â and you knew he would be home soon.
seconds felt like hours as you thought about what you were about to do. was breaking it off really the best thing to do? the more you thought about it, the less convinced you were. he deserved someone with all the qualities you lacked, sure. but you loved him. wasnât that enough?
the lock clicked at last and you raced up, heart sinking as sae stepped in. âyouâre up?â he sighed while dropping his stuff, âi thought i told you to stop staying up for me.â
âyeah i know butâŠâ you cleared your throat, âi have something important to tell you and i thought itâd be best to say it as soon as possible.â
he was hardly listening, emptying out his bag âgo on.â
âi think we should break up.â
your sentence most definitely caught his attention, his rummaging hands came to a halt before he was looking over at you. âbreak up.â he repeated the words back, not as a question but more like a distasteful statement. âas in end it.â
âyes sae, end it.â the lump in your throat was back, heavier now as you spoke. âi know youâre busy but you try your best for me. you buy me gifts, spoil me crazy, shower me with money. thatâs the problem, what do i do for you?â
you fell silent and the ticking of the clock filled the room once more. âhave you seen kaiser and his girlfriend online? she organises their trips, she helps himââ
he was running a palm over his face, âand why are you believing what you see on social media?â
âthatâs not the point,â your voice dropped as you spoke, âjust, wouldnât you prefer someone who isnât⊠boring?â
you picked at your nails as you waited for his response. in truth, you didnât want to hear the answer. you were already full of so much uncertainty about breaking up, to hear him actually say the word yes would break your heart.
he didn't though, approaching you while he spoke, âthat's what this is about? youâre trying to breakup with me because youâre insecure.â
âand youâre consoling yourself by saying that i deserve better.â his voice was gentle, not condemning.
you had no argument. he was right, awfully horribly right. this âbreakupâ was just a justification for you to put yourself down and spare yourself the heartbreak if he ever left you for someone âenjoyableâ. a pathetic excuse to compare your relationship to others you didn't even know.
âdo you really think iâm dating you for fun?â he was standing in front of you now and you shook your head weakly. he had read you like a book, of course he had.
âiâm not with you for dates or gifts or whatever.â he was wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close, âiâm dating you because i love you.â
your chest tightened with affection and you wondered how the words had left his lips so effortlessly. you burrowed into his chest with slight embarrassment, âso you donât think i'm too boring for you?â your voice was barely a whisper.
âand you donât care if we donât go on fancy holidays?â
âand you wonât leave me for a pretty model?â
âobviously not, stop asking me stupid questions,â he rubbed softly into your back, âif you want to spend more time together, just ask. i appreciate anything you do for me.â
âthen... will you stay home with me tomorrow? we can sleep in and iâll make you breakfast.â
âif thatâs what you want.â he was pulling back and giving you a soft peck, âthen it sounds good.â
it looked like you had underestimated just how much sae really cared about you. the once impending tick of the clock sounded much lighter now after communicating your fears, each passing second now a moment for you to relish with sae instead of worry.
