indefinite hiatus ❤︎

[oikyawa]

𝑲𝑨𝑻 ★ she her haikyuu centric blog

   mlist rules taglist @kyarecs

© oikyawa, do not copy, repost, translate any of my work.

[oikyawa]

ragebaiting sae is the funniest thing in the world.

he doesn’t even realize you’re just messing with him.

‘sae,’ you’re sitting on the couch with him, your legs throw over his lap, you’re doomscrolling on social media and he’s rewatching some of his matches.

‘what.’ he doesn’t even so much as glance towards you, thinking you’re going to say some stupid shit anyways, which you totally are.

‘do you ever wish you were athletic?’ you ask him, face straight.

you see his expression twitch. ‘what do you mean.’ he says, voice stern. he can already feel the irritation bubbling inside him.

‘i said. do you wish-,’ ‘i know what you said.’ you’re trying not to laugh right now. he’s already getting fed up and it’s hilarious.

‘[name]. i play soccer for a fucking living. what do you mean ‘i wish i was athletic.’’ he turned towards you. his face showing no amusement at all.

‘i know, but—’ his attention was fully on you now, and oh boy was he pissed.

‘no buts. i get up at 6 am every single day to go practice, do a bunch of press interviews, go to the gym nearly every single day, and you’re asking me if i wish i was athletic? you’re also the one swooning over my muscles on the daily and asking for ‘bicep pics’ is this a stupid joke?’ his expression is dead serious. he’s not playing along, he’s genuinely pissed off.

you can’t hold in your laughter anymore, and burst out in a fit of laughter. your eyes watering from the intensity.

sae is so fucking confused why you’re laughing right now. is this another one of your stupid jokes?

‘sae! i didn’t— expect that- you’d, actually get this pissed!’ you half screamed through your fit of laughter. he runs a hand iver his face and sighs loudly.

he’s not even pissed anymore, just really disappointed in himself. his head is in his hands and elbows on his knees, really rethinking every life decision that got him to this point.

well it’s safe to say sae has been successfully ragebaited, and you’re definitely doing it again.

[oikyawa]

☆ put dis star in the inbox of ur favorite blogs 😋

this is so sweet! it means alot to me, thank you 🤍

[oikyawa]

atsumu who nearly misses his serves whenever you come in his line of view, his focus moving from the blue and yellow ball to you, your captivating smile and swooping hair completely enamoring him as you talk to his captain.

atsumu who loses all his cockiness when you’re around, all the arrogance and pride will be replaced with pure nervousness. he’ll stutter over all the syllables coming out of his mouth, even a small “hi” won’t come out properly.

atsumu who gets endlessly teased by his team about his crush on you, imitating how he short circuits when you’re in his vicinity. eliciting laughter from everyone but atsumu. although his comebacks lack the usual arrogance and fire.

atsumu who nearly exploded into a million tiny little pieces when you looked his way, giving him the most soft, angelic smile ever. even if only for a second, then moving your attention back to your english homework.

atsumu who actually exploded when you talked to him, turning around on your chair to ask him if he had the notes for science, which much to his demise he didn’t. but that doesn’t matter, you actually talked to him. you asked him a question that you could’ve asked anyone else, but you asked him.

atsumu who felt like he was on cloud nine when you called him by his first name, not just ‘miya-kun’ but his first name, not the one he shares with another person. but actually ‘atsumu’ in that sweet honey voice of yours.

atsumu who’ll probably never be normal around you, he’ll stay the nervous wreck he is, he won’t be able to function properly if you smile or talk to him, unless he ever confesses ofcourse.

a/n: i hate this but

tags: @akaashiit, @blythmourning, @bakugosgrenade, @bookworm-center, @levisotakugf, @wellitseugi, @badtzmai, @returntothefae, @noyamlv, @charukii, @amisuh, @z9mbo, @showhay, @wowbyselene, @heavybit3rr, @kotarosangel, @kpopmultistans, @girlwithanattitude, @eclipsedivan, @imgonnashartmyself, @listentothemelody00, @scarymygodurdivine, @qrxswan, @immortalblazethief,, @wave2cal, @tdntu0, @s1ckntw1st3d, @haniipie, @venusdreamr, @st3rdust7, @cwinxclub, @superswagboi05, @creamelon, @catgvrl, @shookykookie30, @tchmiya, @https-kasley, @katsukisser, @a2m-saranghae, @sunnysideupx5, @juhonarrt, @thickthighsthickthighs, @sw4g4lyf, @sh0dor1, @isimpforthemiyatwins, @seafoodboil10, @sunnyfieldsz, @sickenedhonesty, @livelaughlovetoru, @femeunhae, @3stela, @an-ominously-lit-bus-stop

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[oikyawa]

requested ۶ৎ | keiji akaashi doesn’t like how popular you are.

you’re really popular at fukurōdani academy.

everyone in the school knows your name, and probably what you look like too.

but akaashi doesn’t like it.

sure he’s happy that everyone likes you, or at least almost everyone.

but he doesn’t like that you’re always swarmed by people the second you’re not in any of your classes.

you could step one foot out of your classroom, and there’d already be ten students around you, offering to carry your bag and offering you water.

it’s not because they happen to be at your classroom fast enough, it’s because they ditch the last ten minutes of class to be at your beck and call first.

or you’re at lunch, munching on an apple with people surrounding you, watching really intently how you eat an apple, like they’ve never seen a girl eat an apple before.

he doesn’t get it.

he doesn’t get why people have to be around you all the time, even if it’s just breating the same air as you.

yes you’ve got the whole package, you’re pretty, smart, unbelievably funny, and you’re so nice. you would barely hurt a fly.

but he’s a little blind sided considering he’s your boyfriend of three years. of course you’re the prettiest girl to him, you always have been.

and he knows how lucky he is to have you, considering almost every student at school would kill to date you.

your locker is always filled with love letters, with undying confessions in them that are a little too extra.

‘keiji, catch everything that’s about to fall out of my locker.’ you tell akaashi, taking a breath before opening your locker in a swift move.

you’d been sick at home for the past two days, so the regular amount of letters you get, have tripled.

there are a lot, of envelopes. and akaashi manages to catch most of them with the trash bag he’s holding, no other bag would fit this many letters.

and along with too many letters, there’s also a handful of plushies. ones that you will be keeping, a facemask, and a small pot with medicine in it.

that’s definitely one of the most random items you’ve gotten.

‘this would’ve been useful two days ago,’ you mumble, fetching the things you actually need out of your locker.

‘there’s still a letter in there,’ akaashi says, his hand brushing past yours as he grabs the letter in the corner of your locker.

‘oh, thanks.’ he hands you the letter, and your breath hitches at the handwriting on the envelope.

it’s akaashi’s hand writing.

your name is written in cursive, perfectly centered and neat.

‘a letter?’ your gaze flicks between him and the letter, turning it around to see the stamp being your initials, along with tiny hearts.

‘open it when you’re alone, call me after.’ he smiles softly, tying the trash bag and slinging it over his shoulder, quickly going to the trash bin to throw it out.

the only letters you should read are his, not from some stupid guy who’s only trying to get in your pants.

akaashi would rather you never get any other letters than the ones he writes you, but that’s out of the question.

a/n: i scrambled this together in 20 minutes with christmas music playing, also the end is a little half assed i’m sorry 😢

tags: @akaashiit, @blythmourning, @bakugosgrenade, @bookworm-center, @levisotakugf, @wellitseugi, @badtzmai, @returntothefae, @noyamlv, @charukii, @amisuh, @z9mbo, @showhay, @wowbyselene, @heavybit3rr, @kotarosangel, @kpopmultistans, @girlwithanattitude, @eclipsedivan, @imgonnashartmyself, @listentothemelody00, @dearestelsie, @scarymygodurdivine, @an1ki3gai, @kagstobioisthelightofmylife, @qrxswan, @wave2cal, @tdntu0, @n0vawrit3s, @s1ckntw1st3d, @imagoodwriter, @jinshigooner, @haniipie, @skz143nstuff, @venusdreamr, @st3rdust7, @cwinxclub, @superswagboi05, @creamelon, @xyyyulat, @shookykookie30, @misasprout, @https-kasley, @jojo23allegra, @katsukisser, @etiolie, @miismelater, @sunnysideupx5, @thickthighsthickthighs, @sickenedhonesty

fill in this form, to be added to my taglist

[oikyawa]

thx 4 everything you do :]

thank YOU for sending in this lovely message 🤍

[oikyawa]

poah

poah

[oikyawa]

Hey! I've been seeing hate comments for ur break/goodbye and honestly you don't deserve that at all. It's completely okay to take a break for whatever reason!! Alot of people on here can be so miserable so it's really sad to see people blaming YOU for picking yourself 😭😭 get a grip (not u) 💗💗💗

hi! i really don’t understand the hate comments for me taking a break, it’s the most normal thing in the world 😭

[oikyawa]

holy shit normally I go anon but like the audacity of that anon was deadass crazy wtf?? Kat hope you’ll rest well/ I’ll miss you, take a hiatus as long as you need, I’ll be in your walls supporting you 😍😝✌️

exactly! i don’t know where they got the audacity from, i wish they’d just scroll and move on

thank u so much! i miss all of u so much :)

[oikyawa]

hi loves 🤍

i’ve come to the decision that i’ll be going on an indefinite hiatus.

i’ve been thinking a bit this past hour, and have decided that this is the best option.

i don’t have the motivation for writing anymore, i’ve realized that i have different priorities, which don’t include being on tumblr all this time.

i started writing because i was bored one day, and it was the best thing i could’ve done for myself, i’ve gained so much from being on here. from many new friends, followers, and new experiences.

and to anyone deciding if they should post that fic they have in their drafts, i highly encourage you to do so. it’s a whole world opening for you, and i’d like you to have the same wonderful experience i have on here, thanks to all of you.

it sounds like i’m making an end to this, and i hope that this hiatus won’t end in that, but we don’t know what the future holds for us.

i’m so eternally grateful for these past 6 months, all the love, compliments, interactions, have made me so, so happy. i’m glad i shared this chapter of my life with you guys, words can’t express how grateful i am to have gained this many followers and people who like my work, you all have my endless love and gratitude.

i’ve also deleted any of my drafts, and requests. to give myself a clean slate for whenever i do come back.

with that being said, this is my goodbye for now. it pains my heart to have to send this letter to you all, but it was inevitable to happen one day.

i love every single one of you dearly, and you all have a special place in my heart. i’ll never forget the experience i got to have on here.

incase you’d like to chat, my discord is @oikyawa, tiktok and instagram are @toorubae

[oikyawa]

thank you to the people who actually read this post properly, and didn't send in hate like some others did.

so if you read properly, this is not a comeback, it is an announcement that i will be gone for a longer time, so people know where i am.

[oikyawa]

since some people apparently can't read, i am not coming back to tumblr, i announced that i'd be gone for longer.

if you read the post, you'd know it was a goodbye of sorts.

so to you people who think i'm ''coming back'' i'm not, so properly read before you send in something hateful.

[oikyawa]

hi loves 🤍

i’ve come to the decision that i’ll be going on an indefinite hiatus.

i’ve been thinking a bit this past hour, and have decided that this is the best option.

i don’t have the motivation for writing anymore, i’ve realized that i have different priorities, which don’t include being on tumblr all this time.

i started writing because i was bored one day, and it was the best thing i could’ve done for myself, i’ve gained so much from being on here. from many new friends, followers, and new experiences.

and to anyone deciding if they should post that fic they have in their drafts, i highly encourage you to do so. it’s a whole world opening for you, and i’d like you to have the same wonderful experience i have on here, thanks to all of you.

it sounds like i’m making an end to this, and i hope that this hiatus won’t end in that, but we don’t know what the future holds for us.

i’m so eternally grateful for these past 6 months, all the love, compliments, interactions, have made me so, so happy. i’m glad i shared this chapter of my life with you guys, words can’t express how grateful i am to have gained this many followers and people who like my work, you all have my endless love and gratitude.

i’ve also deleted any of my drafts, and requests. to give myself a clean slate for whenever i do come back.

with that being said, this is my goodbye for now. it pains my heart to have to send this letter to you all, but it was inevitable to happen one day.

i love every single one of you dearly, and you all have a special place in my heart. i’ll never forget the experience i got to have on here.

incase you’d like to chat, my discord is @oikyawa, tiktok and instagram are @toorubae

[oikyawa]

hi!! i wanted to let everyone know that i’ll be deleting tumblr for a few days, since i keep opening it for no reason, and i’m tired of constantly doing that.

maybe this’ll even help me in the long run, who knows, but that’s all i wanted to say.

i might go on the web a few times to see my notifications and whatnot, but i won’t be as chronically online as in the past.

i love and will miss you all so much 🤍🫂

[oikyawa]

oikawa who was sold when you first said hello to him.

he completely folded right there and then, stopping in the middle of his jog to stare at your figure, already walking away to wherever you were going.

he usually doesn’t do this, spare a second at a random girl muttering a hello to him on the street, out of pure politeness.

but you. you’re different.

he was head over heels with the first hello, your body language stood out to him, it wasn’t overconfident, fake, but natural, calm. and he liked it.

you looked him in the eye for a brief second, and he looked at you in that same second. and unbeknownst to you, and him. he was actually staring.

you, just a girl trying to get home after being out too late for your liking, and him, just a guy taking a jog after tossing and turning in his bed for too long.

neither of you knew that this simple human exchange would change both of your lives for the better, all because of a simple hello.

yeah, oikawa was sold with the first hello.

a/n: inspired by “hallo” from antoon, i’ve been listening to him alot lately

taglist 1/2: @akaashiit, @blythmourning, @bakugosgrenade, @bookworm-center, @levisotakugf, @wellitseugi, @badtzmai, @returntothefae, @noyamlv, @charukii, @amisuh, @z9mbo, @showhay, @wowbyselene, @heavybit3rr, @kotarosangel, @kpopmultistans, @girlwithanattitude, @eclipsedivan, @imgonnashartmyself, @listentothemelody00, @scarymygodurdivine, @sw4g4lyf, @sh0dor1, @isimpforthemiyatwins, @seafoodboil10, @sunnyfieldsz, @an1ki3gai, @kagstobioisthelightofmylife, @qrxswan, @s1ckntw1st3d, @haniipie, @venusdreamr, @cwinxclub, @superswagboi05, @creamelon, @shookykookie30, @misasprout, @https-kasley, @jojo23allegra, @katsukisser, @a2m-saranghae, @b455guitar, @sunnysideupx5, @thebrokeperson101, @thickthighsthickthighs, @sickenedhonesty, @livelaughlovetoru, @sunabeloved, @femeunhae, @an-ominously-lit-bus-stop, @holacsh, @toootallynotaem, @tobiboberry, @ryylives, @riykya

[oikyawa]

taglist 2/2: @an-ominously-lit-bus-stop, @holacsh, @toootallynotaem, @tobiboberry, @ryylives, @riykya, @lovedlorned, @f2lix, @karnevil, @huhyeni

[oikyawa]

oikawa who was sold when you first said hello to him.

he completely folded right there and then, stopping in the middle of his jog to stare at your figure, already walking away to wherever you were going.

he usually doesn’t do this, spare a second at a random girl muttering a hello to him on the street, out of pure politeness.

but you. you’re different.

he was head over heels with the first hello, your body language stood out to him, it wasn’t overconfident, fake, but natural, calm. and he liked it.

you looked him in the eye for a brief second, and he looked at you in that same second. and unbeknownst to you, and him. he was actually staring.

you, just a girl trying to get home after being out too late for your liking, and him, just a guy taking a jog after tossing and turning in his bed for too long.

neither of you knew that this simple human exchange would change both of your lives for the better, all because of a simple hello.

yeah, oikawa was sold with the first hello.

a/n: inspired by “hallo” from antoon, i’ve been listening to him alot lately

taglist 1/2: @akaashiit, @blythmourning, @bakugosgrenade, @bookworm-center, @levisotakugf, @wellitseugi, @badtzmai, @returntothefae, @noyamlv, @charukii, @amisuh, @z9mbo, @showhay, @wowbyselene, @heavybit3rr, @kotarosangel, @kpopmultistans, @girlwithanattitude, @eclipsedivan, @imgonnashartmyself, @listentothemelody00, @scarymygodurdivine, @sw4g4lyf, @sh0dor1, @isimpforthemiyatwins, @seafoodboil10, @sunnyfieldsz, @an1ki3gai, @kagstobioisthelightofmylife, @qrxswan, @s1ckntw1st3d, @haniipie, @venusdreamr, @cwinxclub, @superswagboi05, @creamelon, @shookykookie30, @misasprout, @https-kasley, @jojo23allegra, @katsukisser, @a2m-saranghae, @b455guitar, @sunnysideupx5, @thebrokeperson101, @thickthighsthickthighs, @sickenedhonesty, @livelaughlovetoru, @sunabeloved, @femeunhae, @an-ominously-lit-bus-stop, @holacsh, @toootallynotaem, @tobiboberry, @ryylives, @riykya

[oikyawa]

happy six month anniversary to this blog 🤍

i can’t believe it’s already been six months since i’ve made this blog, and it was the best decision i could’ve ever made.

i’ve went through quite the amount of fandoms on here, starting with bungo stray dogs, and continuing on with haikyuu. and some little snippets of other fandoms.

i am so eternally grateful for all of you, and i cherish every single one of you with all my heart, i love every single one of you dearly.

thank you for these great times together, and to many more 🤍

[oikyawa]

SHE BECAME A VICTIM TO MY BUSY SCHEDULE

eita semi x reader

SYNOPSIS eita’s busy schedule becomes too much for you.

eita semi. the solo singer and guitarist, the man with a growing fanbase over japan, and the man you love.

it’s his biggest dream come true, being a musician with people who adore his music.

late nights spent writing and scrapping lyrics for songs, spending hours in the music room at the academy, creating all kinds of demos he wouldn’t release to the outside world.

and you’ve been with him through everything.

the late nights that consisted of him balling up tons of papers with lyrics that just weren’t right, listening to him play his guitar in the music room after school, and being the only one he’d let hear those demos.

for all those moments, and tons more, you were there.

since you were sixteen years old, upto now, at twenty two years old.

you’ve been at semi’s side for six years, and you didn’t think you’d ever leave him. but time can do awful things to a relationship.

you loved to stay up late with him, hearing him talk about the ideas he’s had for new music, comforting him after not getting signed with a record label, him singing you back to sleep after a nightmare. all those happy memories.

but memories are just memories, they don’t change how you feel in the present.

you know it’s selfish, but sometimes you wish he didn’t choose this path, even if it’s all he’s ever wanted.

it changed him in a way.

he’s still the same eita semi you fell in love with at sixteen, when he protected you from a volleyball flying right at your face.

he’s still the same eita semi who let you practice new makeup styles on his face at a sleepover, not caring how long it took you to perfect the look.

and he’s still the same eita semi who’ll write songs about you any chance he can get, whether he’s bored or stuck with lyrics, his thoughts are always revolving around you.

but he doesn’t feel the same, it’s something you can’t exactly pinpoint.

he’s been getting home later and later every night, but he still wraps his arms around you with that same familiar warmth, that made you forget about it.

he’s been home less and less in general, spending most of the time he has at the studio or at a gig.

you used to love coming along with him, since he loves to have you by his side constantly, distracting him from the anxiety of playing on a new stage with a new song, and being able to take breaks and stare at your pretty face to relax him.

but you don’t really come along anymore, and he’ll tell you that ‘it’s fine.’ and disappear for the next couple hours, often bleeding into the late hours of the night.

it feels like you’re living complete seperate lives, where the other doesn’t appear as much as before.

he’s living his life filled with music sheets and guitar strings, while you live yours in an apartment that feels too empty, with no dirty mugs on the counter.

you miss the life you had before he got more well known.

you miss being freshly twenty years old and having just moved into your first apartment with your boyfriend. no clue what living together with someone that isn’t your mom is like.

you miss the nights where he wasn’t playing different gigs everytime, when he was solely playing his music for you.

you don’t think you’ll ever get those nights with him again, with the years to come his fame will only grow, and you’ll be sinking into the background as time passes.

you’re happy for him, you truly are. but this isn’t a life you can live.

it’ll get too lonely for you. even if you know he’d drop anything to be by your side at a heartbeat, you’d feel like a burden.

he’s told you numerous times that you’re never a burden to him, but sometimes it really feels that way.

you don’t want to come off as needy or selfish, wanting him by your side when you’re only the tiniest bit upset, feels too much to ask for.

so you don’t.

you don’t ask for him to stop by when you feel like you’re about to break, you don’t tell him how miserable you may feel that day, you keep it all to yourself. thinking that’s the best way to do it.

he already has enough on his schedule as is, you don’t want to pile yourself on there and watch it break.

and if you had to admit, you’re not really happy in the relationship anymore.

it’s not him personally, it’s the situation that’s the problem.

maybe if he were working a nine to five job, then maybe it would work out.

but that’s not reality, as much as you hope it is, it isn’t.

he’s a man with a busy schedule, and you find yourself victim to it.

you feel like it’s best to end things with him, if you do it any later, it’ll hurt even more. not like it won’t feel like your heart would be ripped out already.

you shoot him a text at four in the afternoon, saying ‘we need to talk, please come home.’

this morning before he left, he’d told you that he could be home earlier today, you only had to send him a text if you wanted him home earlier.

and so you used that opportunity.

he texted you three times, but you ignored them. simply basking in your anxiety waiting for him to be back.

and he came back ten times faster than you expected, throwing the door shut behind him with a loud thud.

he appears from the hallway in a completely disheveled state.

hair messy and a few stray hairs sticking to his forehead, zip up jacket half off his shoulder, chest heaving like he ran a whole marathon before coming home, and eyes having the lightest sheen over them.

‘baby? what’s wrong? are you okay?’ he rushes over to the couch in the flash of a second, the couch dipping as he sits down beside you, hands awkwardly hovering around you.

‘i’m fine, eita. we need to talk.’ the seriousness in your tone makes him gulp, resting a hand on yours. which you don’t pull away from.

he looks at your eyes, trying to find a small sparkle that’ll tell him it’s a prank, that you’re messing with him.

but he doesn’t.

he only meets a cold look in your eyes, one that he’s very unfamiliar with.

‘babe—’ ‘i think we should break up.’

there it is. the words he never wanted to hear you say, ever.

your gaze flicks to him, and oh, it’s heavy to look at.

his entire face dropped, eyes filled with tears and threatening to spill over his lashline.

you feel his hand that’s on yours tremble violently, now along with his entire body, that’s also starting to shake.

‘baby, no— please no.’ he pleads, tears now actively pouring out of his eyes, sobbing helplessly as if it’ll change your mind.

god, you feel terrible now, for doing this to him.

it almost makes you forget everything that led up to his moment.

part of you wants to wrap your arms around him and never let go, telling him that it was just a ‘nightmare’, and that you’ll be there when he wakes up.

but you fight that part of yourself, it’s reality, it’s as real as anything can get.

he leans foward, the warmth of his palm leaving your hand hits you like a wave of ice cold water, that may be the last time you’ll feel his warmth.

he now cries into his palms, not on your shoulder or chest like all the times before.

‘baby— why? what did i do?’ the nickname, the one that used to make you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, stings too much now, along with his broken tone tugging on your heart strings.

‘i can’t do it anymore.’ you want to add a ‘sorry’ at the end, even if you feel so incredibly sorry about it, it’ll feel too much like something that can be fixed.

‘what? why? what did i do? please, baby. tell me.’ he’s turns his body towards you now, his hands shaking to hold yours.

‘it’s not you, eita. i just- i don’t fit into your schedule anymore.’ your voice cracked, the realization of what you’re doing suddenly really kicking in.

‘baby no— please no, i can fix this- lets try, please?’ he cradles your hands in his, bowing his head down again so it rests on both your hands.

you feel his tears falling on your skin, and it burns.

‘eita, i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry— but i can’t anymore. you’re the best thing in my life, i swear to god you are. and i love you so much, but i really can’t keep going like this. i’m miserable everyday, you’re barely home, sometimes it doesn’t even feel like you’re my partner anymore.’

you love him, you really do. but you can’t stay, all you’ve been feeling these past weeks is pure and utter misery, and you can’t live on like that. you just can’t.

and he knows, he knows how much you love him, and how much he loves you. but he also hears how true your words are.

he’s barely been home, he’s barely seen your face the past couple weeks.

he knows that the situation is making you miserable, he feels it too.

but he doesn’t want to accept that fact that it’s over.

as selfish as it might sound, he’s not going to shatter his dream just like that.

it’s unfixable. you’re too stubborn to change your mind, he knows that. and that’s one of the many things he loves about you.

but right now it’s the one thing he hates about you.

he loves you, so much it makes his chest hurt.

his love for you is endless, he doesn’t think that there’s anything that can make him stop loving you.

he fell inlove with you at sixteen for a reason, and he’d never go back in time to change that.

he loved you then, he loves you now, and he’ll never stop loving you. even if you don’t love him anymore.

you’re his muse, the light of his life, the reason he gets up every morning.

you’re the reason he pursued his dream of becoming a musician, and he never would’ve done it without your support.

and it’s his dream that shattered the beautiful relationship that you had.

‘i’m sorry baby, i’m sorry that i was too fucking selfish all this time, i abandoned you, you! i’ll never forgive myself, but please baby, can’t we fix this? i love you too much to let you go.’

he’s begging, on his knees now. begging you to just please, please stay with him.

you’ve been through the hell called high school together, you’ve bickered too many times to count, you’ve been through the struggle of moving in together.

you’ve been through so many hardships together, so why isn’t this one you can’t overcome?

you were supposed to grow old together, get married, maybe even have a kid or two, live in more houses with one another.

you were supposed to live together till your last breaths.

and now all the things you were supposed to do together, got shattered in an instant.

he can’t imagine being with anyone else other than you.

‘i don’t want to do this either, i really don’t. but i seriously can’t live like this anymore. and i’d feel even worse if you gave up your dream for me, i’m so sorry.’ you can’t fight the tears that threaten to spill over anymore, letting them fall freely over your cheeks.

he carefully stands up, not making an attempt to wipe the stream of tears that are still falling from his eyes.

he walks back to the hallway where he originally came from, and just punches the thin wall as hard as he can.

he drops to his knees and breaks down all over again.

it’s over.

everything you two had, is over.

in a year from now, you’ll both be estranged, living two completely different lives. but without eachother in them. and he can’t bear the thought.

and the ring he bought, the one he’d planned to propose to you with, today. will forever stay buried under snapped guitar strings and his old jersey from highschool.

but in the end, you are his biggest dream. and he should’ve made you feel that way.

a/n: i planned to be nice and make it a happy ending, but tumblr removed part of my next so i got mad and made you guys all suffer with me 😗 the ring mention was the biggest blow i could give, extra pain we love it right.

and if you need to blame someone, blame justin bieber for making this song, i also recommend listening to it!

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