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"Ningas Cogon"

So today, I am going to start writing here.. AGAIN.. it has been a while since my last post and I mean.. a really long while. The reason being is nothing interesting is going on in my life. Literally and figuratively. So am gonna start life updates here so If ever anything happens, at least people would know, I somehow existed :p

I remember somebody telling me to adapt with my work schedule and sleeping habits should change too. Kasi we work the night shift so para hindi ka puyat pag dating ng monday, Continue mo lang yung tulog mo sa araw even on weekends..Tas ayun nag lalaro kami ng Clash of Clans ng madaling araw hehe sya lang den yung gising... Kasi style nya yun eh inadapt ko lang.. He asked me also when I was still a trainee kung anong career path ang gusto kong itake...Syempre bilang sya yung halos first contact ko sa BPO industry, kako gusto ko ren mag trainer (inggitera ako eh)... naalala ko sa pantry kami nagttraining kasi walang available na training room...Tas dati, every batch meron isang person na either magrereply sa email inappropriately or would mess up something... Ako yun sa batch namin kasi yung mga una kong mga kasama sa interview, sa ibang account napunta, so wala akong ka close masyado sa mga talagang ka account ko.. so when I found a way (other than email) to communicate with them, bnlast ko sa email nila na "huy mag meebo tayo" ayun nakasama pala sa email yung isa sa mga manegerial level na person sa thread... pag pasok ko ng training room after ng break tanong nya "guys do you know anyone by the last name of ganito..." Sabi namin "wala po" tas... ayun na sabi na ni sir may nag email kasi ng ganito ganyan... Ay dzai nag patola at tila yelong tumagaktak yung pawis ko sa sobrang kaba dahil alam kong ako yung may sala...akala ko katapusan ko na.. binulong ko pa sa katabi ko na "shuta ako yun" umamin naman ako sa kasalanan ko ayun ang ginawa ni ser pinakilala ako dun sa taong nakareceive ng email...habang nag nanlalamig ako, napaaga ang baba ko sa prod ng very very light... Nung na achieve ko yung goal ko.. isa ren sya sa mga taong ang sarap pakinggan ng Congratulations ..pero every now and then pag na fefeel ko na nahihirapan ako at low... isa sya sa mga "inner voice" ko... lalu nung nalipat ako ng ibang LOB, kasi kahit naman anong role ang itake ko nakaalalay sya... Nung may problema ako sa excel... eh wala na yung dating QA na nagtrain den sakin.. tas may gusto akong makita sa excel sya ren isa sa mga nalapitan ko na kahit nagchichika chika na lang kasi out na, na gambala ko pa ren sya at take note dinebug nya yung excel..shuta apaka galing talaga... sya ren talaga yung manager na kahit nasa kabilang ibayo or may call naaabala mo at walang bahid ng panghuhusga kang tutulungan... Bago itong pandemic...na tengga ako ng matagal.. tas bigla akong naging parang head ng bahay namin kasi lumipat kami ng bahay.. kasabay ng pagkawala ko ng trabaho at puros sideline lang ang nagkaron ako.. kailangan kong may kunsultahin about sa isang desisyon ko sa buhay.. eh usually andun ang mga lola para pagtanungan.. eh wala ren na tegi na ren sila, sa kanya ako lumapit...nagpayo as usual..isang message ko lang...maya maya naguusap na kami... Sir boss Salamat sa lahat ng naitulong mo sa akin.. salamat sa suportang binigay mo saamin sa tiwala.. lalung lalo na sa pag hele sakin sa loob ng training room nung bago pa lng ako 😅😅( lalim kasi ng boses) at sa very distinct na pag kaka describe mo sa personality ko na ikaw lang ang nakapansin.. Apaka laking bagay ng manggaling saiyo na "kaya mo yan" or "ikaw pa ba?". Wala nagka labo labo na ako sa gusto kong sabihin pero alam kong gets mo ko... pasensya na madaling araw actually sinikatan na ako ng araw kaka compose ng thoughts ko.. basta ser... mahal ka namin..

It’s been a while...

it just dawned on me.... who I am now is because of what you have wanted me to become. You taught me to be patient. You taught me to choose my fights, You are indeed a very selfless woman, you said, we never came out from you but you have loved us MORE than anyone could, You're not just my gramd mom, you're also my listening ear, the best of the best. Nothing was ever about you, it's always been for all of us. YAYI... I miss coming home to you, I miss hearing your laugh, I miss scaring you whenever I feel like it, I miss you saying "hay salamat" everytime I finish a chore or bring you something. I miss giving out my crazy ideas to you and you supporting them even though I know you know I can't finish them. I MISS YOU... LIKE A LOT... Thank you for hugging me for the last time and I am sorry I was not able to fulfill my promise that I will drive you to church every Sunday this is because I am still trying to perfect my driving. Yay everytime I say your name in my head, I still feel you, I still cry everytime I go to your room. I feel like I've lost a big chunk in me. I miss confiding to you. You're the only person who I trust to be me and tell you all my insights and thoughts without thinking twice if I would open up or not. Yayi knows me more than anyone in this world. I miss coloring your hair, I miss how you miss to eat burger. I miss you... Now that you are physically not with us anymore, I know that you are watching over us. And that you are our prayer warrior. You built us to be strong. I know you're happy up there. I Love you nikki...