Jules of Nature
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
wallacepolsom
trying on a metaphor
roma★
shark vs the universe
@theartofmadeline
hello vonnie
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Stranger Things
will byers stan first human second
Cosimo Galluzzi
titsay
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
if i look back, i am lost
Kaledo Art
Misplaced Lens Cap
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Portugal
seen from Netherlands
seen from Colombia
seen from Iraq
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Netherlands
seen from Iraq
seen from United States
@ohnotthisagain
So, me and my girl were in a meet. And she has a knack for *slaying* mosquitos and strong hatred towards them. This conversation went down. (Between my girl and the mosquito)
Girl: There's a mosquito hovering above my head
Girl(to mosquito): Come here, come to mommy. Come here.
*clapping noises*
Girl(to me): Yes, KILLED IT.
*proceeds to grin aggressively*
So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.
Stay with me.
We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.
I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.
It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.
(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)
Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.
My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.
When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.
We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.
Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.
The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.
I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.
Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”
Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.
But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.
This is a great plot for a show. Someone please do the honours.
The other day my girl caught me dirty talking to an empty coke tin.
I had the hardest time explaining to her that only the wet waste bin was available.
#ilikedexplainingit
He thought, he hath game.
He thought... He hath game.
But alas! He knoweth not he is lame
He asks the girl " What is thy name?"
He asks the girl... " What is thy name?"
She says " Get out of my face you fucking dame".
Amen
Amen
Amen
#notinspiredfromreallifeevents
The whole world's an orgy.
Take a minute.
This is probably the truest thing you've read today.
Ever wondered???
There are a good number of music composers in the world who have worked pretty hard and passionatetly, just to be snoozed by lazy ass people who had no intentions of waking up in the first place.
