I’ve started talking, and now I can’t stop, and for that I am sorry. But it’s 4am and I am full of life, and how can I impart on the world the wonder that I feel? I am lying in my bed with my phone in my hand, and my one desire is to show people how incredible everything is, and not just saying it - oh Lord, please help me with this, because I feel it so strongly, to my bones and the core of my existence. A passion, a hope, an overwhelming sense of content, not even that can explain how strongly, how grateful I feel.
But when I was five, my father took me to an observatory, and I remember feeling bewildered and awestruck with so many questions and concepts. What if the stars are just atoms in a larger being? Or our atoms are smaller planets? It’s relative, isn’t it - how do we know?
I had a desire to learn and to question, and I remember the astrologist was gobsmacked, because here was a child so small asking such large questions, and my father was surprised, because I was unable to clean my room or follow instructions, but here I was boggling professors.
And I think that is something in all of us, we want to learn and see and acknowledge what it means to be alive, and how lucky we are… as John Green once wrote “The universe wants to be noticed,” but even more, I think that we want to notice it. We want a chance to stop and marvel at creation, and see how good everything is - how good we are. And maybe that is what it means to be a human, and maybe we are not so lost?
Lord, I’m not pushing this enough, and you know how strongly I feel, but how do I show that as the universe and stars are made, so am I? Regardless of what people believe to be the beginning or how we got here, everyone is here now, and what a glorious moment! Almost eight billion people breathing and inhaling at the same moment in time, existing all together, living out their lives. And all those times people’s lives overlap, even if just in the background of a train car, or a glimpse of a car a few streets around, all the unknown associations - why, you could cover the earth many times over with all the overlaps from Venn diagrams you could draw!
Existence is intricate, and to be a part of it! Even if I were to do nothing at all in my life, it would be enough, because even the act of breathing is a monumental one. And potential! What if I was to use even some of it, help one person, do one thing? Why, that would make me great, in the truest, most sincere form of the word!
But we each do so many things in a life, a week, a day, and we achieve so much in only a moment. Don’t you see? Just by being in this point in time, we have each already achieved greatness.
And yet, none of this realisation would stop any evil in the world at all, and although it is wonderful to know, it seems pointless - what is knowledge without action? But imagine if every person was to gain insight and act from it, what a revolution!
We revolve around hate and negativity, and it is so, so, unnecessary, when put into perspective. Stop. Think. Do you feel lucky? To breathe and to think, as your heart continues to beat, do you feel lucky?
And death, what an avoided and seemingly macabre topic. But if life and birth is a wonder, isn’t death one too? Who knows what comes after, if one ends in heaven or hell or ceases existing, or if the brief moment before passing is all there is? The point remains that it is a wonder to be alive and living in this moment, and to exist another second would be a miracle again.
I am so grateful for everything, oh Lord, and I only wish that everyone else has a chance to experience this feeling, because it is like a hunger. A hunger for life and a feeling of love and care, the appreciation that I am a miracle, that therefore I deserve to be here as long as I keep existing, satisfaction.
I have too much to say, and I will never quite be done, but Lord please! I sometimes think, and strive to believe, that if even one person is changed by this realisation, it has been enough, but that would be a miracle too, regardless of the odds! What a wonder it is to be alive!
The first one wasn’t worded quite right, and dear Lord, I feel passionate about this… and quote font makes it seem so important, which it IS… please, dear friend, take from this if you can, and learn, and enjoy existence, for it is so fragile and important. (via goldhue)
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