It's a wild ride, y'know?

worm worm worm worm worm worm worm

[nem23]

[phantomrose96]

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

[loki-zen]

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

[cucurb]

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[evilsoup]

this is just truthslop.you believe it because it happens to conform to reality

[fridayagaingarfiebaby]

Friday Again Garfie Baby

[snakeater-deactivated20260130]

is that a nothing in your pants or are you just normal to see me

[elksewer]

[onecells]

YOU🫵'RE 🫵 NE->XT.!! moTHERFUCKER!!!!

GET LOVED!!!!!!!!!!

[targetedknowledge]

[muffinlance]

Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats

[do-you-have-a-flag]

[gaybichon]

i think i found my new favorite artist on twitter

(source)

[gaybichon]

👆 me

[fairycosmos]

[bumblebeebats]

This was genuinely what it was like growing up in New Agey circles btw, my mum's friends would come round like "So I went out to the woods this weekend and fasted and meditated and I had a vision of the Sacred Stag and all my guardian angels and I asked them how to find love and they said that I need to focus on my own healing first and stop repeating cycles of the past" and then the very next week it'd be like "So I'm back with James again" girl..... the Sacred Stag could not have been more clear....

[junk-thunder]

hamwarmer 40k

[junk-thunder]

[sanguine-squid]

where is any higher quality version of this image

[satellites-halo]

can't find anything other than this which has maybe 5 extra pixels

[sergal]

[solitairie]

now dance fucker dance man he never had a chance

[magicalnursekomugi]

[itsbasil]

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[diamondeyes-deluxe]

I work with kids and sometimes we have to do safety lessons with them about like, not telling strangers on the internet your home address or something. And sometimes the kids wont understand why, so you have to impart upon them that, well, some adults want to hurt children. And thats kind of difficult to do, because you have to beat around the bush, both because you dont want to scare them (while still making them understand how serious it is) and because you might lose your job if you explain it too straight forward.

Luckily, for some reason, the villain of one of the most popular franchises with children for the last 10 years happens to be a serial child murderer. So when a kid asks why they shouldnt trust strangers, instead of hand wringing and humhawing my answer out, I can just say "we dont always know when a strange adult has good intentions with children, or when they are William Afton."

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny