i'm only human with my cross to bear.

xavier knox. 34. into classics. loves cars, live music, and good whiskey. homoflexible. i used to think i'm indecisive, but now i'm not too sure.

[yournewsmanjesse]

Omg I’m so sad :(

[ohxavierknox-blog]

:(

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

“Tryin’ to play footsie with me?” Laine grinned, uncrossing his own legs to kick one shoe off, pressing the soft sock to the side of Xavier’s calf. He didn’t move away, instead leaving his foot there and taking a piece of bread from the center of their table. “Tofu,” he repeated, “I never figured you for the vegetarian kind. What else is beautiful?”

The actor chuckled softly before almost choking on air when he felt Laine press his foot against his leg. If Laine had a superpower, Xavier figured it was turning him on with zero fucking effort. A soft blush appeared on his face. “I mean, I’m not strictly,” he explained. “But the tofu here is actually really fucking good,” the actor added. “You,” he replied with a smile.

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

Laine had been on many - many - planes in his lifetime, so he was hard to impress in that area. Still, he was plenty impressed that Xavier had not only asked him out on a date, but was even offering to fly him to the place for the date. So he had dressed to the nines for the occasion, wearing a well pressed button down under a preppy sweater, with a dark pair of slacks and a bowtie. His hair was straightened and waxed into place. He had really gone all out.

Once they were there, Laine settled happily in his seat, folding his legs at the ankle under their table. “Wagyu beef,” the dancer had already decided. “But lobster sounds good too. This is beautiful, Xav. Thanks.”

Xavier’s foot brushed lightly against the dancer’s leg before he pulled back, a coy smile on his face as he looked at him. “Sounds good. I’m getting... fried tofu and charred carrots,” he replied with a light hum. “You know what else is beautiful?”

[ohxavierknox-blog]

Xavier was very grateful for the support Laine had given him throughout the hard times he’d experienced lately, and, not just that, but he supposed it was time that they went on a date. Their relationship had never been that, they had gone out together, but it was never a date—it always felt like friends who hooked up, if that. But their relationship, he supposed, had evolved; and perhaps it was Laine’s fight with Ryan that made Xavier see that. The actor liked him, there was no doubt about that, he was a good time, a good listener, and a long list of other qualities he’d take too long to list.

This felt like a shift, a new turn in their relationship and what it had been, so naturally, it made Xavier nervous. He decided to make reservations—which normally have to be made months in advance, unless you’re an A-lister—in his favorite restaurant, which just so happened to be in New York. He booked a private flight, because fuck his carbon footprint just this once, and they flew over to Manhattan. Sitting across from Laine once they had arrived to the restaurant, the actor chuckles nervously. He’s used to seeing the dancer in a different setting, they’re casual, spontaneous, unconstrained, so being out on an actual real fucking date is a little bizarre. “The lobster here is great. So’s the oysters, if you’re into that. But you can get whatever you want.” Smooth, Xav. Of course he can get whatever he wants.

@xlainebx

[dcmienmcwilliams]

ohxavierknox‌:

When Xavier got the call from Harrison that Jon was fucking awake, he could barely believe it. He had been waiting for that moment for what felt like an eternity, but now that it was actually happening, it felt so surreal it took him a moment to actually comprehend it. He rushed back to the hospital, practically pushing past people as he felt his heart racing. He walked up to the room, took a deep breath, and went in. Seeing Jon awake, it brought an emotion to him that he could not put into words, he just knew he’d never felt anything like it. He rushed over to the bed and fell to his knees, feeling his eyes fill with tears, and he put his arms over him just barely, carefully. “You scared the shit out of me,” he cried.

jon didn’t know what to expect from xavier’s visit, but one thing he knew was he wasn’t expecting xavier to drop down on his knees and sob over him. jon hadn’t realized really what all happened and what an effect it took on everyone that really mattered to him. jon slowly put one of his hands on top of xavier’s that was resting on his and said, “sorry.” because really, that’s all he could say. he wasn’t sure what happened – other than he was hit by a car and the events before that which caused the accident was an absolute blur. “c’mon stop cryin’, i ain’t dead or dyin’.” jon said – though he hadn’t realized just how close to death he actually had been. he was black and blue all over, if not from the damn accident from the surgeries and bruised organs underneath the skin. 

[ohxavierknox-blog]

Xavier chuckled softly when Jon told him that he wasn't dead or dying and, God, if that wasn't the best fucking thing he'd heard all year. Jon was alive—he would be alright. "They're happy tears. I'm just fucking relieved," he said. Not to mention, he had been bottling up his emotions the whole time, so they all came pouring down just now. "I mean, you're fine. All your bleeding's internal—that's where the blood is supposed to be," he joked. "How are you feeling, Jon?"

[ohxavierknox-blog]

jonknox‌:

@ohxavierknox

jon had been awake a little over two days now – but he hadn’t felt like visitors, he asked harrison to keep quiet until he could manage to wrap his brain around what actually happened and what the future now held for him. jon had been diagnosed with a light form of amnesia, he could remember everyone that he knew in his life, but memories, it was something he couldn’t quite piece together yet. he remembered he had harrison, but couldn’t quite comprehend how the pair ended up in a hospital, he remembered xavier – but couldn’t remember the last conversation the two of them had together. he couldn’t remember xavier telling him that he was being an ass because of he and harrison’s argument – another thing he didn’t remember. but he knew that he’d been out for a week, he had been told that xavier had been there. now that he was awake and had been doped up rather nicely jon asked harrison to send xavier a text to come sit with him in his room whilst harrison went home and got himself some fresh clothes – and jon a few things, like a fucking toothbrush and warmer clothes. he was laid in bed, his tv on but very low on the investigation discovery channel, nothing screamed ‘welcome back to reality’ like a crime show station. he had his eyes shut for the time being as the medication was weigh heavy on them, but he wanted to see xavier, to talk to him, to let the man know that he was okay. but he just had to wait for him to arrive.

When Xavier got the call from Harrison that Jon was fucking awake, he could barely believe it. He had been waiting for that moment for what felt like an eternity, but now that it was actually happening, it felt so surreal it took him a moment to actually comprehend it. He rushed back to the hospital, practically pushing past people as he felt his heart racing. He walked up to the room, took a deep breath, and went in. Seeing Jon awake, it brought an emotion to him that he could not put into words, he just knew he’d never felt anything like it. He rushed over to the bed and fell to his knees, feeling his eyes fill with tears, and he put his arms over him just barely, carefully. “You scared the shit out of me,” he cried.

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

“Yes,” Laine said without needing to think about it. “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” he snorted, genuinely surprised by the idle threat. “Any change in him?” He asked once he followed Xavier inside, looking over at Jon to take inventory of him and his condition. “Or the same?”

“Kinky little shit,” he teased, holding his hand, lacing their fingers as his free hand opened the room door again and they walked in. “Practically the same. The swelling has gone down a little, and you know, everything that’s bruised or broken still is,” he sighed. He hated thinking about how much pain Jon was going to be in when he woke up. 

[ohxavierknox-blog]

ffsryano‌:

“I mean, I’m no Jagger or anything but if you needed a good snuggle, I am only a call or text away.” Ryan pointed out – though with past events, he wasn’t trying to push his luck. He really just wanted Xavier to be okay, and to at least be put a bit at ease through all this trauma that he was dealing with now. Once Xavier got into the passenger side and sat down, Ryan had to laugh at his comment and said, “Well, I drove your car pretty fast so just maybe.” He teased before shutting the door of his 2016 blue Fusion. After Ryan got inside and got the car going, he pulled himself out of the parking lot and got onto the road. “I hope you’ve brought an appetite, because I plan on ordering nearly half the menu for myself and I can’t look like a fat ass on my own.” 

“That is true. Fuckin’ Jagger never even texts me back,” the actor joked. “Maybe when I can go home, if the offer still stands. God knows I’m gonna be in bed for a full month when that happens,” he said with a soft chuckle. He knew there were no guarantees, but he was choosing to remain positive. Jon would be okay. That was the only outcome Xavier would focus on right now. “Well, yeah, but it wasn’t your car. Easier to drive recklessly that way,” the actor joked. When the car stopped, Xavier sighed, his hand going over to Ryan’s knee and giving it a light squeeze. “Thanks for everything,” he said, letting his hand linger before pulling back. “I’ll eat whatever if it means I get to watch you eat. You know how hot that is to me,” he teased.

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

Laine sighed his relief when Xavier came close and kissed him. It was so like them to wrap up their friendship - whatever it it was - and their feuding with nothing more than a kiss. It didn’t need talked about to death, it didn’t need more attention than it had already gone. The dancer knew Xav was struggling and he didn’t need more bullshit to add onto his load.

“No, you are.”

“I never said I wasn’t,” he replied with a small, playful smile. His hands rested on the back of Laine’s neck, softly letting his fingers go into his hair. “Do you wanna come in?” he asked. It wasn’t a pleasant invitation, of course, but it was one to be in each other’s company and that was enough for Xav. “Only if you’re gonna be good, though. I don’t wanna have to put you over my lap later,” he joked. 

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xavier’s kinks breakdown

(test is here)

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

He wasn’t really mad at Xavier - not really. He didn’t especially blame him for the fight or for feeling the way he did. He’d probably have been a little on edge in the same situation, so he sucked up his pride and came back to the hospital. He stepped out of the elevator and onto Jon’s floor, then knocked quietly at his door, a bag of better fitting clothes under his arm.

Xavier had gotten really upset with Laine, not just for bringing up Ryan, but for doing so when things were so shitty for Xavier, knowing the whole feud thing had been pretty rough on his relationships as it was. He didn’t want to fight anymore though, it just wasn’t who he was. He heard the knock on the door, got up from the loveseat and went to get it, but instead of letting Laine in, he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him, greeting the younger male with a passionate kiss. “You’re an idiot, you know that right?” he teased.

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

Laine: i didn’t know you spoke Spanish

Laine: smarty pants

Laine: be there in ten

xavier: i don’t baby, that’s italian

xavier: i’ll be waitin

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

Laine: idk you didn’t act like you wanted me anywhere near you

Laine: so

Laine: you could ask me…

xavier: come over so i can kiss you

xavier: per favore

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

Laine: he started shit with me online. That’s about it.

Laine: well.

xavier: alright

xavier: well

xavier: are you gonna come over so i can kiss you or not?

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

Laine: originally maybe, but the issue/s we have now is entirely between us

Laine: I know you are. I’m sorry for that too

xavier: well idk what the fuck you two did, so idk what to tell you

xavier: i know.

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

Laine: only when he pops off about me behind the anonymity of the internet

Laine: I understand that. I dropped everything to come help you out, the first second I knew

Laine: yeah well. I was answering

xavier: well the issue he had with you was my fault so i’m sorry about that

xavier: i know that. i appreciate that. i’m just saying how i feel has nothing to do with you. i’m going through a hard time.

xavier: ok

[ohxavierknox-blog]

xlainebx‌:

Laine: because he thinks he has something to be jealous of, apparently

Laine: and I haven’t done anything to help?

Laine: I didn’t say that.

xavier: and do you have an issue with ryan?

xavier: i didn’t say that. i’m saying it isn’t about you. i really need you to understand that.

xavier: i was asking.