delicious seaweed @oishikim - Tumblr Blog

I’ve been thinking about you lately.

The Weak One’s Are The Deprived One’s

I am contemplating on how should I start with this. I wanted to write it here to ease the painful feeling maybe, or the feeling of being so weak. Ang pakiramdam na para kang pinagbagsakan ng lahat. Ang pakiramdam na para kang basahan na maaaring tanggalin o ilipat sa iyong kinalalagyan at kukunin na lamang kung kinakailangan. Sa Departamento ng Pilipinas na kung saan ko inialay ang propesyon ko at nangakong hindi titigil at babalik balikan ko hanggat kaya ko dahil alam kong marami ang umaasa sa mga katulad ko, patawad. Inang Bayan, hindi ko na kaya. Hindi ko na kayang magbulag-bulagan sa sistemang ginagawa nila na kung saan ang mga nasa taas at may kapangyarihan lamang ang lubos na nasa kaginhawaan. Ang mga tulad ko na lumaban ng patas at nagsimula sa mababa ang tumatamasa ng mga dumi nilang tinatapon na dapat pa raw naming ipagpasalamat. Hindi ko maintindihan ang ganitong sistema. Ipinagpupuyos ito ng aking damdamin. Gusto kong umiyak, sumigaw, at isumbat lahat pero para saan? Para kanino? Para bang ako ay nakikipag-usap lamang sa bato. Walang nagnanais na malagay sa ganitong sitwasyon. “Paumanhin, hindi kita naipaglaban” iyan ang iyong turan. Gusto kong tumawa ng mapakla. Naipaglaban mo ang iyong kasamahan. Sino nga ba naman ako para ipaglaban mo? Isa akong mahinang humahamak na mabago ang sistemang inyong sinimulan. Wala akong karapatan.

Sa ganito ko na lamang ilalabas ang hinanakit na paulit-ulit na umuukit sa aking isip at damdamin. Sana man lang sa ganitong paraan ay maibsan ang damdaming nagpipilit sumidhi ng masasamang pangitain.

Mga Gusto Kong Gawin sa Future

It was June 25, 2010. Magv-Values Class kami. It was our last subject.

More than 11 years na pala ang sulatan naming yan ng kaibigan ko noong highschool. It was a simple convo hoping na wala kaming values class para maagang umuwi but turn out to be a wishful/prayer thinking in the future. Bakit kami nagsusulatan eh pwede naman kaming mag-usap. It was our way of keeping memories together, we have tons of letters to each other kahit magkaklase naman kami at magkasama maghapon. XD.

So back to the letter/convo haha. We have those kinda impossible things that we want to achieve in the future like buying the whole PHR Publication, the Stallion Riding Club(which in reality do not exist), have a stallion member to be our boyfriend hahaha. Super unattainable, unrealistic HAHAHAHAHA. Some are attainable naman like makita si Kim Hyun Joong sa personal haha Makita lang naman eh XD. My friend wants to have a guy who would make her realize that true love exist as she was a man hater before. And she found that guy at present. I wanted to buy a pizza and pocketbook when I have a work without worrying anything, I was able to buy not only that. Looking back, yun lang pala ang gusto ko. Pizza and pocketbook. But here I am now. I have lots and lots of books na yung iba hindi ko pa natatapos basahin because I keep on buying new one. Pizza? With just one tap on my phone, I could have it delivered in my place.

My friend and I were so innocent during that time that money and my crush who doesn’t like me, were the only things na pinoproblema namin pero were so out of joy every day. Pure bliss and happiness. We’d wake up at 6 am go to school at 7:30 then go home at 5 pm, and we still have the energy na tumambay sa park o kaya magpuntang computer shop. But now, going to work was a struggle, the bliss and joy were hard to find. If only we could back on time, na PHR pocketbook lang na hiram masaya na. Simpleng cancelled classes, akala mo nanalo na sa lotto. Tinapik lang sa balikat ni crush akala mo destiny na. Many do not realize it, especially the young right now, that their time was one of the most memorable, and a lot of people including I would go back during those times. I wish and pray that they would use this time to make out the most in that chapter of this journey called life.

#RandomThoughts #PreciousHeartsRomances Highschool

i cried so hard to the fullest today. yung iyak na humihikbi at halos hindi ka na makahinga. yung gusto mo na lang ngumawa ng ngumawa, ito yung feels na yun. sana lang, matapos na ang mga araw na ito. gusto ko ng lumaya sa eskwelahang ito.

Namumuno

ikaw. oo ikaw na namumuno sa kanilang lahat.

ikaw na may pinakamataas na posisyon sa institusyong itong aking kinabibilangan at ng labing dalawa ko pang kasama at ang iyong labing anim na mahigit na nasasakupan.

ikaw na ipinakita mo nung una na kasama ka namin, na nasa panig ka namin.

ikaw na ngtanggol sa amin ng mga pambabatikos noong una.

ikaw na tinanggap kami ng lubos sa una naming pagtapak sa iyong intsitusyong pinamumunuan.

ikaw na inakala kong nagbago na dahil sa mga nagaganap.

ikaw na inakala kong nagbago ay hindi pala.

ikaw n ipinakita mo na ang iyong totoong kulay.

na ganyan ka pala talga kung kayat noong una pa lamang ay ayaw na nila sa iyo.

ikaw na sana naging kakakmpi namin sa huli dahil yun ang inakala namin ay hindi pala.

gusto mong ilabas lahat ng sama, ng kinikimkim ng puso ko, o hindi lang siguro ako.

sana maisip mo na kami ay mga nagsasanay at ang pagkakamali ay talagang nananlaytay sa amin. ito ang una namin. kami man ay nabigla ngunit taos puso naming stinanggap ang sitwasyon dahil para rin naman ito saamin. sana lang, inintindi mo kai. gaya ng pag intindi ko sayo, namin sa yo.

hindi ka magtatagal sa indutriyang ito kung hindi dahil sa mga tao sa paligid mo, hindi ng dahil sa angking kagalingan mo.

nahihirapan akong gawin ito. kasi pakiramdam ko lumalayo ang loob naming dalawa sa isa’t isa. hindi ko na alam kung pinagkakatiwalaan pa ba niya ako o hindi na. hindi ko na rin alam kung ano ang totoo sa hindi. naguguluhan ako sa bagay na dpat ay ginagawa kp. ang lakas ng impluwensya na bakit pati kaming mga PT nadadamay sa mga bagay na dapat ay hindi naman. nagkaroon na rin ng faction ang mga PT dahil sa kanila. nagkaroon ng kanya kanyang grupo. hindi ko man gusto ang nangyayari, maari mang ipagkaila nila ito, pero yun ang naoobserbahan ko. wla na ang dating magkakasama kaming kumakain sa tanghalian at magtatawanan. wala na ang mga panahon na kami ang magkakampi at pagtsitsismisan namin ang mga tao doon. na gusto na naming umalis, na konti na lang makakalaya na kami sa masalimuot na lugar na iyon na puno ng hidwaan, kompetensya at kung ano ano pang na siya sanang humuhubog sa mga sibol na papatubo pa lamang. wala na. parang nagkaroon pa lalo ng inggitan, hindi na lang sa kanilang nakakataas, kundi pati na rin sa amin. na para bang nagpapayabangan na kami sa kung ano ang naibibigay ng mga humahawak sa kanila at kung ano ang naibibigay rin nila. sana naman, sana lang. maisip nila na hindi dapat kami idinadamay sa mga kanila.

Feelings Coming Back

it’d been five years utmost. mahal pa rin ba kita o minamahal na lang kita dahil sa komsepto ng pagmamahal? ni hindi jo alam kung naalala mo pa ako. ni hindi ko magawang ilike ang picture o ifollow ka sa kadahilanang baka malaman mo na may nararamdaman pa rin ako sayo. nattaakot akong malaman mo ang nararadaman ko pero gusto ko rin na malaman mo ang nararamdaman ko. diba ang gulo?

siguro takot na lang ako na magsabi ng nararamadaman ko kasi baka hindi matugunan.

ang hirap maging babae. yung iba siguro kayang kayang sabihin ang nararamdaman nila sa isanga lalaki. pero iba ako. napaka-! takot akong sumugal sa pag ibig.

Ang mahigit pitong taong pag-ibig na inalagaan ay mababalewala na lamang ba?

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3Rf5qDuq7M)

#stopbullying #Speak up.

Phone Call

Everybody in the room were having a conversation thru phone with their suitor and boyfriend. I suddenly felt envy, not because i want to have a suitor or boyfriend but because i miss having that someone who used to call you. That someone who would always greet you in the morning and say take care or its too late, don’t go out. But i don’t want to bring back the old times. Maybe the situation and the feeling but with another person. Hope to meet you soon, future someone.

Missing You

To the boy whom i had a crush when i was high school

To the guy whom i felt love for the first time

To the man whom i want to spend the rest of my life,

Happy birthday.

Hanggang dito ko na lang maisusulat ang nararamdaman ko sayo na hindi ko man lamang naitapahayag at sadayang itinago ko ng ilang taon dahil alam kong may mahal kang iba.

Hindi ko man maiparating ang nararamdaman ko sayo. Hindi man kita mabati kahit pasimple sa facebook at twitter, nandito ka pa rin sa puso ko. Umaasang sa pagdating ng panahon, kung hindi man ikaw ang makakatuluyan ko, sana may pumalit sayo. Sa puwang ng puso kong inilaan ko ng ilang taon para sayo. Sana muli maramdaman ko ang kilig at pag ibig sa lalaking susuklian din ang pag ibig na iaalay ko.

Thinking

I was stalking Nicomaine when i stumble on his blog about her best friend. I couldn’t help myself but to relate every writings she said about the two them. The bond they had which is beyond friends for they were like sisters already. Those walang katapusang kwentuhan and thinking the two of them won’t fed up with each others drama. Because once upon a time we were like that. Our extra calls in our unli na nauubos lang sa tsismisan natin with each other instead of calling our classmates about the changes in our schedules. Our exclusive date because we have tsismis about our lovelife that we don’t want to share with our other friends. You, hanging out at my place.

Until I notice something about you. Maybe you also notice something about me too. My maldita attitude was at foremost at that time. As they say, beastmode and you were also. We had a clash.

I don’t know if i was the one who put the barrier or you in our relationship. Because as soon as i want to diminish that barrier and look at you like nothing happened and joke around, you pulled that barrier down. My supposed to be joke and usual beso to you ay naurod. XD

Thinking those past weeks that we weren’t communicating with each other seemed to be a great help also because you were able to find someone whom you can lean (something i could not give) for your heart to move on. As for I, I was able to appreciate more of those people around me whom i thought i wouldn’t have the chance to be close with.

I guess something really unexpected would come up in your life once in a while.Na iyong mga bagay na inaakala mo ay magtatagal at hindi na magbabago ay lumilipas at napapalitan. Its just how you handle it.

I Will Amaze Them By Studying.

0907151135

I don’t want to compete with you. Not because I can’t but because that is something i don’t usually do, you know competing with others. I compete with myself more than anybody.

staypozitive

If I offered you $20, would you take it?

How about if I crumpled it up?

Stepped on it?

You would probably take it even though it was crumpled and stepped on. Do you know why?

Because it is still $20, and its worth has not changed.

The same goes for you; if you have a bad day, or if something bad happens to you, you are not worthless.

If someone crumples you up or steps on you, your worth does not change. You are still just as valuable as you were before.

Source (StayPositive.me)

Marc 30, 2015

i am clearly dumbfounded right now. i was hoping for a three or higher than that. but if i will get the chance to get a three, i’d be forever blessed. Please, help me. Parang nakikisampalataya ang mga kanta sa kuwaresma sa nararamdaman ko ngayon. i don’t want to see it, but i have to face the truth. Lord, i’m praying for a miracle to happen, help me. i wanna cry right now even tho i haven’t seen it. lakasan mo loob mo kim! hwaiting

March 21, 2015

last night, someone old that he won’t be graduating. that he was extended for another semester. i don’ know what to say for a graduating student who did everything and won’t be graduating just for one subject. his OJT will be wasted. i was saddened by that. i don’t know what to say. i don’t know how to console him. little did i know, he was laughing inside for he only tricked me. HE TRICKED ME!! HE MADE ME A STUPID FOOL. binigyan ko pa mandin ng chocolates. when he said he was joking, i stopped and didn’t speak for a while. innenternalize ko pa taang sinabi niya.

just the same night, i was watching an old anime and i cross with this episode. so perfect for the situation.

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