“ HE WAS SUFFOCATED BY ROSES THAT NO ONE ELSE SAW —— ONLY THEIR SHADOWS SHOWED ON HIS LIPS AND AROUND HIS EYES . ”
› › › INDIE . SELECTIVE . MUMU . 18+ .

if i look back, i am lost
almost home

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Janaina Medeiros
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Keni

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@oizysd
“ HE WAS SUFFOCATED BY ROSES THAT NO ONE ELSE SAW —— ONLY THEIR SHADOWS SHOWED ON HIS LIPS AND AROUND HIS EYES . ”
› › › INDIE . SELECTIVE . MUMU . 18+ .
#𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒅 : independent & selective multimuse in orbit !
Mike Owens, from “In My Cell”
Text ID: And of course, my guilt / always in the periphery of my vision,
theidiotden·:
*//FILENAME: SIWON_STARTER_FOR_ @oizysd·
*// when was the last time he was out like this? siwon didn’t know. there often weren’t many hours left in the day when all of his work was done and when he did have time it was usually spent coming up with new ideas for the idiot den. in short: siwon was always working. he was not so fixated on his schedule, unlike daehwi, that he wouldn’t cancel any events he had planned if he was needed by a friend ––– he’s just that impulsive and that eager to entertain ( and please ). so when one of his childhood best friends called and near demanded ( or so he’d say ) that he come out to mini golf with him and a group of others, siwon simply could not say no. and he didn’t regret it. thus far, he was having an amazing time. they had pregamed before coming to the course; the inebriated state of each individual only added to the buzz in the air around him. too distracted to notice, he collided with a body. “ i’m sorry, i wasn’t paying attention. please excuse- ROM? ”
CONSISTENT WITH OTHER TRAITS OF HIS, his better ones, rom has always been able to keep a healthy balance between work and friends —— thrives off of others’ company too much to know any different, even during his busier periods. midterms may be approaching, but they’re not yet pressing, so he fits the night out with friends into his schedule with little issues. he’s had a bit to drink, enough to find himself particularly touchy with one friend in specific. arm wrapped around the smaller boy’s waist as they converse with a few others, his attention shifts when familiar voice is heard from behind him. at first, he’s barely alarmed, but as he turns towards siwon, own friend now leaning on his shoulder, he begins to register the depth of what he’s gotten himself into. half - lidded eyes grow wider, smile doing the same. “ siwon, hey, ” shifts his weight from one leg to the other, hoping his friend will get the message and move off of him, but he just moves closer, as though marking his territory. “ are your boys here? ” the latter half is him trying to keep the focus away from himself ... emphasis on trying. “ this isn’t a late night shoot, is it? ”
tckkis·:
hana may as well have lived at the hospital at this point, as the nurse brought her in and sat her on one of the beds, she made an amusing comment about how the female needed to be wrapped in bubble wrap. while the soldier was in a lot of pain due to the injuries sustained on her legs, she couldn’t help but chuckle at the small joke. the doctors and nurses were always so good with her trying to make light out of the situation and trying to get her to laugh. especially if she had just come out of a serious battle & she was struggling badly with her ptsd. they were always there to try and pick her up.
shooting a playful glare at the nurse who inspected her wounds, she ran a hand through her hair as she winced. ‘ trust me, it’s not like i wanna be here… although seeing you most weeks makes me smile! ’ she had almost gotten on a first name basis with the majority of the staff. yet she was a little surprised when she noticed a man wander in whom she had never seen before. yet when her usual nurse turned around and explained that he would be bandaging her up this time, hana offered a sheepish smile and bowed her head in greeting. ‘ you’re gonna see me a lot… ’
@oizysd /♥
PASSIONS PROVE DIFFICULT TO NEGLECT, but his own circumstances have given it their best attempt —— still, haruki is a stubborn boy, for better or for worse. there are easier career paths to take, far less dangerous to consider now that he’s forever affiliated with, tied to something so forbidding, but he’s remained true to his desires despite it all. volunteer position was acquired by chance, old friend recommending him for the position half because of the nature of their friendship, and half out of pity. given what he does, what he hasn’t done pertaining to his studies and career goals is pressing ... time is ticking, his greatest adversary. second trait worth mentioning : haruki is considerably introverted, oftentimes mistaken for simply having a hardened demeanor. pitch black hair and stoic expression don’t help his case, both of which sharply contrast the pale color of his uniform. upon entering and bowing, he smiles a small smile, beginning to remove the packaging from the equipment that he was told to utilize. fingers miss the tabs to open the box more than once, nervous and distracted by the girl’s words. he chuckles, finding that her demeanor is helping him to ease into the situation far better than he has with previous patients. “ i figured, ” he responds, soon realizing it could come off as short, he continues —— “ but i appreciate the practice ... ” laughs again, pitiful attempt at a joke. finally gets the package open, “ how often is a lot? ”
THE SACRIFICE, 1986 Andrei Tarkovsky
LUCAS
2021 WAYV SEASONS GREETINGSS
80sluv·:
he wouldn’t say HE’S STARTLED , but it sure catches haneul off guard just a little bit. his opposite’s comment should’ve been one he could’ve expected , given their interactions so far , but that’s the case ; the male doesn’t. is this person really about to enjoy all his dumb brain has to say on things he doesn’t understand ? ALRIGHT THEN … ‘’ i —— i guess we don’t , no. ’’ rom. it seems more than appropriate for the stranger. haneul is not sure what it means to not worry about being strangers anymore , because they still are. perhaps there’s the wish to move past it. must be it … ‘’ honestly ? ’’ the painting in front of them is given a brief glance , before it’s already dismissed , haneul not even giving it the energy to tear it apart with his words. ‘’ i was bored. i know absolutely nobody here , but i happened to stumble across a flyer earlier today and it was a good excuse to skip out on some business dinner. told them i had a date and all , couldn’t reschedule it. ’’ the homme slightly turns his head to look at rom , hand reaching and very , VERY lightly grabs his elbow , tugging him along to the next painting. ‘’ you guessed it ; they fell for it. so now i’m here. i know , i know —— i could’ve stayed home. i hate doing that though , and what if i get caught in the lie ? so … ta - da. i’m here. thoughts on this painting ? ’’
SELECTIVE COGNIZANCE MAKES HIM MORE AWARE of some details than others —— he takes notice of haneul’s quick dismissal of the piece before them, stolen glances put to good use. ( not perceived nor taken note of : his own effect on the other, whatever that may entail, to even the slightest degree. ) eyes scan the assemblage of shapes prettily framed before them, admiring —— but haneul has most of his attention, lips turned up in a small smile as he explains his reasoning for attending. business dinner ... something to ask about later. small explanation reveals much already, but he keeps his thoughts to himself and focuses on the present. as he’s ushered towards the next painting, he takes mental note of this one’s artist. ( for someone else much later, a different kind of conversation altogether. ) as haneul’s explanation comes to an end, rom nods, somewhere between satisfaction and approval. “ ah, got it. ” a beat, thinking. “ business etiquette can be tricky ... coming here was definitely your best bet. i just hope you’re not regretting it now that you’ve entered the world of, let’s see ... ” glances towards the piece, attentive —— geometric, object in the piece barely recognizable, but he manages to make out the faint details of a motherboard. mind begins working immediately, “ cubism...” word spoken slowly, distractedly, better surveying it for confirmation. collects his thoughts, head tilted to the side, “ remember, i warned you about my dullness ... but i enjoy it a lot. the message is interesting ... pretentious, i guess, but what better place to be so, you know? ” looks towards haneul expectedly, “ what about you? ”
theidiotden·:
*//FILENAME: ARIN_STARTER_FOR_ @oizysd·
*// “ so. ” the word is direct and pointed but riddled with the essence of nonchalance. arin didn’t care to be here, only needed to be for his grade. instead of focusing on his partner ( kj or something––– he’ll remember later ), he gazes into the back of a spoon that was on the table. the ac was a little too windy during the car ride to this cafe and he needed to make sure it didn’t mess up the work of his professional daily hairstylist. “ tell me what i need to know. ” he pauses, finally looking up. “ only the cliff notes, okay? i have a contract signing party for an underwear ad i’m shooting to go to in an hour. ”
BAD LUCK’S FAVORITE HOST, the sole comforting prospect of this all ( the fact that he has full control over every last piece of this project ) is overshadowed by the fact that he has to inform the other of all said components —— much easier said than done. eyes previously trained on his laptop screen glance up slowly, deadpan expression unchanging as arin speaks. accustomed to similar characters, he navigates this as best as he can: flatly, lacking the polite, genial front that both of them seem to be strangers to. he blinks, sunken eyes looking the boy over. “ the report is 15 pages long. ” voice is level as he goes on, “ then there’s the 20 slide presentation. ” gaze returns to his screen as he types away. “ i’ll give you a moment to reschedule while i open the doc. ”
ncctars·:
° 🦋 ﹡ * ¸ 𝐒𝐂 was 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑 by @oizysd· : 𝟎𝟏 / 𝟎𝟐 .
“ i know we haven’t spoke in a while and i’m probably the last person you’re expecting to see and hear from but , i honestly don’t know where else to go ” eyes are already pleading as he looks at his old friend . “ i’ve been kicked out of my apartment and i was wondering if you can let me stay even just for tonight ? ”
STRING OF VICES BIND TOGETHER THE GOLDEN BOY —— this is the embodiment of that fact, stomach dropping at the sight of the person before him. yet, after a few blinks of surprise, he tries to remain composed. eyes trained on the boy, he nods. “ uh ...” gulps, torn, yet when he speaks, voice is soft as butter. “ of course. you didn’t think i’d be evil enough to leave you out here, did you? ” he says with a chuckle, easing into the situation. door opens further to allow the other in. “ what got you kicked out this late at night? i don’t have to be concerned about letting you into my home, do i? ” he’s joking, smiling through playful words, but dread ove the situation at hand hasn’t worn off.
yuta - from home recording
ncctars·:
° 🦋 ﹡ * ¸ 𝐒𝐂 was 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑 by @oizysd·· : 𝟎𝟐 / 𝟎𝟐 .
“ so sorry , i’m late babe . traffic was horrible ” she says as she joins the stranger who seems to be ditched by their date . it’s not that she feels sorry for them but , she figured maybe she can get some free dinner . “ just go with it , yeah ? whoever ditched you is an ass ” she whispers .
AS HE’S NEARING ON ACCEPTING his sunken fate, he notices a girl begin to approach, but doesn’t realize he’s her target until she’s right before him, uttering unwarranted apologies. confusion colors his features for a few moments, but after her hushed explanation, he gets it, and go with it he does —— as best as he can. clears his throat, sitting up straighter, “ oh, no, don’t worry about it. i figured you got caught up with ... work ... ? ” he half states, half asks, requesting assistance. then, quietly, he adds, “ thank you. i was so embarrassed, everyone was staring at me with their big judgey eyes and —— ” stops, realizing its best not to scare her away. accidental ramble avoided, he awkwardly asks, “ um, want dinner? ”
naivty·:
𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐋𝐄 to produce the correct answer was the fuel that continues to feed her flare - up . the confusion , the composure ― in heavy contrasts to the way she seethes with irritation , only makes it WORSE , knowing she’s always been too quick to anger [ but logic came as an afterthought , no matter the situation ] , ❝ … you are so ― ❞ even when she finally catches her breath to speak , the right words are lost between exasperation and feeling that somehow this was a personal insult to her ,
❝ can you be serious , zihao ? ❞ a hand raises to rub at temples when the onset of a headache begins now that adrenaline is slowly subsiding and she was left with the fumes of her own irritation , ❝ you cannot just do whatever the hell you want anymore . people are paying attention to you now . ❞
RECOGNITION TUMBLES FORTH LAZILY —— everything plainly laid out now, it’s all but expected. eyebrows raised and lips parted just slightly upon realizing what it is that ren has come to scold him about, next instinct is arguably worse for them both. ( .... but all he knows ; prose can barely encompass how unfit he is for the role they willingly handed him. ) enter next performance : defensive zihao, arms crossed over bare chest, rebutting, “ what?? so now i can’t hang out with girls? ” says it like it’s an inhumane expectation, unthinkable. “ dude, they don’t know who they are, they could be like, my coworkers or sisters or something !! ” reminder of photo in question : blurry shot of him at a club with a girl in a tube top. “ no one’s going to think i’m actually fucking any of these chicks... ” he trails off, huffing. “ like, everyone knows you’d shred my dick into dust or whatever if i did. we’re good, come on ... ” head tilted to the side, weak attempt to coax ren down from her anger ... and retain his human rights.
johnny💅🏻🌻🙂 // jcc ep.26