âYour feelings for me are not romantic.â
Nodoka no niwa vol.1-5Â
by Akiyama Kaori
âŠaka âMay-December Romance: The Mangaâ. Iâve been reading this in the past weeks. I was drawn to it by the art style (such cute covers!) and it turned out to be one of those manga which are perfectly lovely and I enjoy them a lot, but they still leave me a bit frustrated because Iâm not sure if I like where they appear to be going or not⊠if theyâre even going that way.Â
Our heroine is Motoko aka Schwarz-san - nicknamed so because she always wears dark, drab clothes and appears aloof and gloomy - is a 23 year old student of German literature at a certain K University. She falls in love with her professor, the 64 year old Sakaki Ikuo. However, when she accidentally confesses her feelings to him his reply is that what she feels for him is not romantic.* To complicate matters, the first real friend she makes, Juri, turns out to be in love with Sakakiâs assistant Tanaka, who turns out to be in love with Motoko. And if that wasnât already enough, Sakakiâs ex-wife also shows upâŠ
Despite her âblack witchâ image Motoko is actually a very âpureâ, innocent girl who, although appearing aloof, is actually just very awkward and inexperienced with life in general. Having spent much of her time growing up trying to be mature, serious and reliable, she doesnât have much experience with socializing and expressing herself. For her, this mangaâs story is not simply a romance but a journey to self-realization through love: developing social skills, having experiences sheâs never had before, having to handle entirely new feelings and situations, finding the will and courage in herself to open up - basically a repressed and awkward person slowly blossoming into her ârealâ self. This part of the story is really lovely, and very relatable (to me at least), and itâs one of the things I really like about this manga. Itâs not preachy and it doesnât use other people as examples to follow. It says, find the strength and courage in yourself, for your own sake, to be able to be the person you want to be instead of staying in the comfort of non-change and watching as life goes by with a whoosh.
As for the romance, though⊠I still donât quite know how I feel about it!Â
Obviously the main thing here is the feelings between Motoko and the professor. At this point they appear to be mutual, and I donât know, Iâm not entirely sold on the relationship. Itâs not the fact that he could be her grandfather (if I cared about age gaps I wouldnât be reading this) or the teacher/student situation, more like⊠On Sakakiâs part the story seems to be framing his reluctance as him feeling his age too keenly, feeling it unbecoming of a man of his age to have a romance with a woman as young as Motoko. For him this seems to be the story of a man resigned to growing older and eventually wasting away getting to feel alive again, being rejuvenated by a gentle romance. (As opposed to moving to Germany with his ex-wife and live out their old age together as an old couple.)
AndâŠyeah, thatâs fine and all, but I canât help feeling that, at least so far, the story doesnât seem to be addressing the fact that a person is just not at the same stage of their life at 64 than a person of 23. Someone of Sakakiâs age is inevitably going to have different priorities and different needs than someone of Motokoâs age. And sure, their personalities complement each other in ways that facilitate a romantic relationship, but thereâs this one snaggle that makes it not sit well with me. Like, sheâs at the start of her life, while he, rejuvenated by romance or not, is inching towards the end. Itâs something to be thought about and dealt with. Who knows, though, maybe the manga will touch on this.
As for the other players of the love quadrangle(?) I actually really like Tanaka (and to be honest Iâm rooting for him, as unlikely as it is that Motoko will develop feelings for him). I like his relationship with Sakaki and the mutual affection they have for each other, and I like how terribly human he is, using Juri to get over Motoko. Juri herself is less of a presence, but I like her very human actions and impulses - like Tanaka sheâs not a great person, but sheâs not a monster either. The ex-wife, Midori, I donât like much but sheâs intriguing. Sheâs presented as Motokoâs true rival, an accomplished, talented person, a force that could sway Sakaki in another direction. Clearly sheâs meant to be Motokoâs foil, and she does a good job acting like it.
Anyway, Iâve been rambling about this for too long⊠In the end, this is a very nice manga with some lovely themes, and really good art. But I donât know what I hope for the romance (other than the impossible, Motoko somehow getting together with Tanaka :D). Actually, I still canât quite read where that plotline is going. I guess Iâll just have to read to find out, and hope that wherever it goes it will be worth it in the end. I do recommend reading it!
*The story goes through great lengths to examine various aspects of love/affection - romantic love, familial love, friendship, affection between teacher and student, etc., only for Motoko to realize each time that no, her feelings for the prof are not like that, coming to the eventual conclusion that her feelings for him are, indeed, romantic.Â
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