Tyler furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as Connor began to speak. He wasn’t quite sure what the whole problem was, since the two of them had say down and talked everything out. Tyler hadn’t even gone ahead and made the account without talking to Connor first and making sure he was 100% alright with it. Sure, they initially agreed on no nudity. But as time went on and Tyler had gotten more comfortable posing for pictures by flaunting his ass, his began to re-think the no nudity decision. After all, his nudes had gotten leaked on the internet and were still being spread around across the internet. With a simple Google search, anyone could find them. So really, what was the harm in giving the people what they wanted when they had already seen it all anyway? Of course, he knew Connor wasn’t comfortable with it, and the last thing he ever wanted to do was put his boyfriend in that position. Even if the thought was still looming in the back of his mind. “I just don’t understand, I guess. I thought all the photo shoots that we set up together, were some intimate bonding time for us. Maybe more so in the beginning than lately,” Tyler shook his head, trying to gather all of the thoughts that were swirling around like a tornado inside his mind. What was even happening here? Had he really been too consumed with his success on OnlyFans, that he had missed all the signs of their crumbling relationship? “I don’t know what you want me to do. Do you want me to quit? Or try something else? I mean, I guess I’m just trying to absorb everything, since I had no idea you were feeling this way. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
Tyler could feel the knot in his stomach grow at the mention of their future together. He knew that Connor was the type of person that wanted to get married. He wanted a picture-perfect future with a beautiful house, kids, and a white picket fence. Sure, it was all great in theory, but Tyler didn’t know if it was something he would be able to give him. After all, he had already proposed to the first love of his life, Seana. They met when they were 11 and were sweethearts on and off all of middle school and high school. When he made his big break with Teen Wolf, she was right there by his side. he thought he had found his soulmate that he was going to spend the rest of his life with, which was why he proposed. Everything in his life was perfect. That was, until his fiance left him only about a month before the passing of his mother. Suddenly, that picture-perfect life that he had imagined with her, had disappeared before his very eyes. Suddenly, he was alone and falling into the darkest hole he had ever sunk into. He had managed to claw himself out after months of self medicating to numb the pain. He eventually moved on with is life and even managed to find happiness once again with Connor. But this situation was still so new to him. It had only been a short time since he put a label on his sexuality. He wasn’t quite sure he was ready to dive right into the next step of marriage and a family. Especially when the last time he attempted to go down that path, it didn’t end well. Tyler could feel the beats of silence passing between them. His mind was flashing back towards his past, feeling the sense of doom begin to set in once again. “I–I don’t know if I’m ready for all of that just yet,” he shakily admitted.
Reality had hit Connor like a brick wall in that very moment. All this time he had spent with Tyler thinking and hoping that one day, it would lead to something more. Regardless of whatever oncoming argument was about to hit, he didn’t believe that he was unreasonable in wanting to take their relationship further. After he had pushed his last boyfriend away from him because he wanted too much too quickly, he knew to slow things down and enjoy the relationship and letting it flow naturally. It had been well over two years since the two of them had gotten together and they had gotten pretty serious - they bought a home together, decorated it together, and adopted some cats together. They had been living and existing as their own little quiet and happy family this whole time, and while Connor had noticed that Tyler was extremely busy with work and his phone, it still hurt to hear it come from his boyfriends mouth that he wasn’t ready to move forward with their relationship. He didn’t know what to say in response. All he could do was stare at the wall in front of him and think of where he had fucked it up this time. Once again, he had driven another great man away from him by wanting too much. Sure, he was feeling neglected and very much hurt that his boyfriend hasn’t wanted anything to do with him in what seemed like forever, but there was a little bit of hope in him that still existed that he thought maybe they could just talk and work this out.
“Okay,” was all that he could finally reply back after a few moments of silence. There was so much he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure it would make much of a difference anymore. He should’ve spoken up about his thoughts and concerns earlier before this turned into a bigger issue and before they would each be in these awkward and uncomfortable positions. “Why didn’t I say anything sooner? Why should I have to tell my boyfriend to pay attention to me and actually give a shit about me?” Connor replied, his voice raising at the end of his question as his frustration grew now. “How is it that I could just sit here and accept this half-assed version of love that you’ve been giving me for months now and how have you just been okay with it?” He shook his head and stood up from where he was on the bed and now began to pace the room. “I’m wasting my time. If you don’t want to have a future with me, then I’m wasting my time and you’re wasting mine. If you never want to settle down and get serious with anyone, then that’s your time and that’s what you want to do, but I’m sorry, it doesn’t follow what I want for myself. Or what I wanted for us.” He stopped in his place and crossed his arms over his chest, tears welling at his lower lash line. “Maybe us being together isn’t the best idea right now.”
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