āWhatcha reading?ā Nami asked him.
She sidled up to Sanji who was hunched over a book in the galley, tips of his ears red and in deep concentration. At her question he jumped in surprise, clearly unaware anyone had come into the galley let alone crept up next to him, and he slammed the book shut, sliding it out of view.
āYes hello,ā Sanji squeaked.
Nami blinked back surprise and then erupted into a gleeful expression, complete amusement radiating from her every pore. She had the āthis is going to be a great money schemeā look on her face and Sanjiās eyes bugged in fear and embarrassment, his face reddening with the realization heād been caught.
āOh wow,ā she smirked. āHand it over.ā
She extended her hand for the book that Sanji was, at present, hugging against his chest like a child about to be abducted or perhaps some sort of expensive heirloom about to be stolen.
āNamiā¦ā he pleaded.
āI know you canāt afford what itās going to cost you to deny me,ā she dropped the words like the weapons they were.
He contemplated the merits of assuming a crushing debt burden and then sighed, he wouldnāt deny her anyway. He sheepishly pulled the book from his side and slowly, hesitantly began to move it incrementally closer to her. Nami rolled her eyes and snatched the book from his hands, turning it over so she could see what it was.
It was a rather thick black book with a gaudy cover on the front made to look like it was peering through to a scene of a couple. The couple stood on a dock with a blue sky, seagulls flying in the back, the sparkling ocean and flowers growing around the dock. They were both men wearing beanies and otherwise dressed sharp as one knelt before the other, hands interlocked as they peered into each others eyes.
āBlue skies and wayward heartsā¦ā Nami read the title aloud.
Sanji cringed and immediately tried to go into damage control.
āIt⦠I found it⦠only one⦠I didnāt⦠you knowā¦ā the words tumbled out in a garble of nonsense approximating excuses. She ignored him completely as she stared at the book like a curious never before seen item.
āSanji-kun, what the hell are you reading? You read⦠romance?ā
āThis certainly looks like a romance book,ā Nami said flatly.
āWell I meanā¦ā he hedged, poorly.
āAnd itās gay romance?ā She eyed him suspiciously.
āIt was the only oneā¦ā
āYou were that desperate for a book you picked up aā¦ā she flipped to the end of the book and looked at the last page number, ā800 page queer romance?ā
Sanji croaked something incoherent and tried to shrug off his clearly weird justification.
āOh my god youāre soā¦ā she stared at him like she both had no idea what the hell was wrong with him and also like every thought sheād ever had against him now made perfect sense. He hated it.
She flipped the book back open to the page heād been on, where heād been able to leave his bookmark despite his panic, and began to read to herself.
āThis is filthyā what the fuck,ā she said in a scandalized tone.
Sanji lit a cigarette and avoided her eye contact as he buried his head in his free hand.
āSanji⦠oh my god.ā
āItās not⦠that⦠badā¦ā he sighed.
āJonesy slid his mouth to the front of Smithās pants, sucking through the fabric on the bulge thatā¦ā
āNamiā¦ā Sanji whined.
She threw the book on the table at him, it sliding over between his arms. Stealing the seat next to Sanji, she got in close and coaxed his eyes to hers.
āYou know thereās nothing wrong with it. Why are you so embarrassed?ā
āIām not!ā The words came out too quick, too defensive and she laughed.
āSo, who is it? Usopp?ā
āWhaā what do you mean?ā
āWhich one of the crew has you fantasizing about getting sucked through your pants?ā
Sanji choked on his cigarette smoke and thumped his heart with his fist.
āWhy would it be Usopp! You know I only have eyes for ladiesā¦ā
āLuffy! What! I donāt even think heās into anyone and thatās fine heās a good guy but heās gross.ā
Nami laughed and sat quietly contemplating for a moment. Sanji could watch the thoughts work their way through her mind as she had them and hated to see her face light up and her piercing gaze settle deviously on Sanji once more.
āI donāt know what you mean,ā he feigned ignorance.
āIt makes so much senseā oh my god how could I have not noticed before!ā
āWhat are you talking about?ā Sanjiās voice was getting higher and his fear was growing.
āAll the constant bickering⦠the in your face practically fucking each other, the nicknames, theā¦ā
āDonāt say it. As if Iād ever fall for such a gorilla-brained, algae infestedā¦ā
āHe doth protest too much,ā Nami replied with a flippancy only overshadowed by the smirk on her face.
āYou⦠you⦠you donāt know what youāre talking about,ā Sanji whined.
āOh, but I do. Donāt I? Donāt worry, I wonāt tell.ā She waved her hand and got up to leave, casting one last glance toward him.
Sanji didnāt mean to break down, he didnāt mean to get caught in the first place. But now that his secret had been discovered, it was like all the insecurities and fear that had dammed it behind the walls of his heart collapsed and let the emotion spill out of him in one gushing catastrophe.
āOh Sanji,ā Nami sighed. She sat down next to him once more and brought her hand to her back.
āThe thing I hate most about it is, in the end thereās always something, theyāre always so happy and in love, theyāre always so supportive and⦠I donāt know why I canāt have that,ā he choked the words out through sobs, an embarrassing predicament to be so pathetic in front of Nami of all people.
āYou know, I bet he would be the kind of boyfriend in your little books. But heās dumb as a rock and would never get it unless you said something.ā
Sanji couldnāt even laugh at her attempt to make him feel better. He was just consumed with painful yearning that only seemed to grow with each passing day.
āI just want to know what itās like to be loved⦠to⦠have someone I trust so fully that I have no choice but to relax when theyāre around. I⦠want to be wanted.ā
Nami hugged him in close to her, his head resting on her chest as she rubbed his back and comforted him. Even as he revealed himself like this, a rare moment of vulnerability, he knew she was gonna kick his ass.
āYou fucking loser,ā she punched him and kicked him out of the chair. āYou seriously got a nosebleed from me hugging you! I hate you!ā
āWhat kind of weirdo gay boy are you, goddamn.ā
āIām sorry Nami-swan.ā
āUgh. Gross ass. Whatever, Iāll help you anyway. Freak.ā She got up and grabbed a napkin to wipe the blood off her chest while Sanji sat mulling over everything that had happened, had been confessed just now.
āI will play matchmaker for you if only so you can stop being such a hopeless pervert,ā she snapped. She threw the dirty napkin at Sanji and grabbed a tangerine as she made her way to the door.
āThanks Nami,ā Sanji said. He wasnāt sure what to say exactly, but thank you seemed fairly appropriate. He resisted the thought that this napkin had been on Namiās boobs as he wiped his nosebleed with it.
āShut up. And Iād get a cover for that if you donāt want to get caught by someone less understanding than myself.ā
āGood idea, my endlessly intelligent, sweet, ever brilliantā¦ā
āUgh,ā she slammed the door the galley behind her. Sanji laughed to himself for a moment before getting up and tucking the book in its hiding place. A weird kind of anxiety settled in his gut. Whatever the future was liable to hold, he both couldnāt wait and was terrified to see.