to all my adoring fans and supporters,
i’m not even totally sure what i’m going to say here, just that i’m going to ignore capitalization and grammar, let my most transparent thoughts flow & share them with you, okay? okay.
i’ve been an active, working artist for several years now, experiencing things that many creatives will never know simply due to the low ratio of success in entertainment. the opportunities i’ve been given, the connections i’ve made, the places i’ve traveled to - they’re all blessings that i’ve dreamed of since i was a little girl. but throughout my journey, i have also felt more disappointment, insecurity & desperation than i can bare at times. i don’t think anyone can ever really grasp the emotional & psychological sacrifices i have made to achieve my goals & positively contribute to this culture; while i don’t want any kind of pity party, i do think that it’s important for you guys to know what i’ve really been going through.
i’ve never told you about the string of individuals who have wasted my time & discouraged my confidence by simply lacking expertise, passion, or focus. i’ve never told you about how my former manager convinced me to move-in with him for “practical reasons”, then developed inappropriate feelings for me, sabotaged my relationships and manipulated every aspect of my life. i never told you when my agent disappeared into thin air with no explanation while my booking requests went unanswered for months. i’ve never told you about the indie label head who obtained the rights to my last EP, then breached our contract and did absolutely nothing to promote or market it. i’ve never told you about the major label executive who was supposed to swoop in & alleviate some obstacles, but usually never answered the phone. i’ve never told you about many of your favorite rappers & producers wanting to connect with me until they realize that i’m not interested in flirting, dating or sex. i’ve just never fucking told you.
in short, every single person i have ever entrusted with my career has let me down. i’m not here to throw shade or expose anyone either; some days i actually blame myself for their failures, because i believed in them more than i should have.
so this year, in response to all the broken promises & false starts i’ve endured, i took my reality into my own hands & literally started over. i cut ties with all the people who were stringing me along, dissolved my corporation and began to re-invent my brand to be more reflective of my identity. i had to escape the toxic living situation that i was coerced into and temporarily go into survival mode, bouncing from several different homes until i could be stable again. for the past 13 months, i have been my own manager, booking agent, publicist, stylist & more.
i’ve also been living in a paradox of sorts - you see, both my live show & my pen game enables me to EAT. it’s my only job and nothing else. i am grateful to be able to maintain by lending my talents to features, showcases & appearances on a regular basis. but when all the guest verses & sets are over, i’m left feeling like i only had time to invest in everyone’s creative pursuits but my own. i have things to say, music to make & heights to reach, but staying afloat requires me to put that on the back burner while i provide for myself. in all honesty, i know many artists can relate, and that plight is something that many unsigned artists go through; my case is a bit more established than say “quitting my day job” though, as i haven’t held a regular 9-5 since my first mixtape dropped.
more than anything, i just want my people to know that i am nowhere near falling off or giving up, and that i’ve finally gotten to a place where i can be creative again. not knowing where your next meal is coming from can truly change your priorities, and i dealt with that while bitter people from the past deliberately tried to make life difficult for me. i even wrestled with having a presence on social media, because if you’re not active on the internet you must be dead, yet people will criticize you for posting things unrelated to the music they’re waiting for (selfies, vacations, functions with friends, etc) - attempting to get your shit together after having it stagnated by incompetent, lazy & vindictive people is difficult, but i’ve tried to do so with grace, poise & conviction.
because of grave mistakes in the past, i’ve been taking my time to build trust with new individuals, cultivate a new sound, and explore new situations that are on the table. i’m bouncing back in a healthy, gradual way, and i’d like for that to be respected rather than shaded. i can say with 100% assurance that i am finally free of the dead weight that was delaying my potential for so long.
so is nitty scott still out here? absolutely. but that’s not a question i feel a true fan would even need to ask - i am a person, not an idealized object, and i had to allow my experience to take me wherever it needed to in order to evolve. if there’s one thing i think i deserve, it’s to be trusted that i will deliver.
i’m currently giving life to two beautiful new projects, lots of visual content and a revamped live show. i simply ask that you stay tuned, and watch me continue to transform my darkest chapters into honest, inspiring art. i thank you all for your ear and life-changing love.
reporting from greener pastures,
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
izzy806
snowghoul
jacobvanloon
areudirty
tangentwithtanner
yousharknotpass
