Roxanne - 4k words, Jake insists that everyone should participate in a new drinking game, bets are made, and things almost immediately descend into chaos
Heat Above - 4k words, the guys get up to some hijinks and hair trouble on the set of their Heat Above music video
It’s Been - 3.8k words, Jake picks a pointless fight with Josh and it takes them one week to finally let it go (oddly enough, based on the Barenaked Ladies song, One Week)
Argh - 3.5k words, Jake, Josh, and Sam are all little kids, indulging in a fun and dramatic game of imaginary pirates
Sunshine - 2k words, 12 year old Jake meets his famous Gibson SG guitar for the first time
It’s Giving - 4k words, my interpretation of what happened backstage before the guys took the stage in Tucson, slaying the house down with their stage makeup
Stage Fright (pt. 1) - 2.7k words, the guys have to work through some nerves before playing new music at the Sacramento DIG show
Stage Fright (pt. 2) - 3.5k words, the aftermath of the last show of the DIG tour, some angst, and a stressful trip to In N’ Out
They Say It’s Your Birthday - 4.4k words, Danny and Sam take the twins to a karaoke bar to celebrate their 27th birthday
Welcome to My Crib - 2.8k words, Greta Van Fleet gives a home tour for Architectural Digest
Thirst Tweets - 2k words, Greta Van Fleet react to Thirst Tweets for Buzzfeed
New York Runaway - 800 words, the GVF group chat is popping off when Sam disappears to New York without any explanation
Sam Kiszka Sees God While Eating Spicy Wings - 7.9k words, Sam goes on Hot Ones and frankly kinda terrifies Sean Evans
GVF Masterclass Group Chat - 1.2k words, a look at the group chat between Oliver Reed, Cal A Bungah, Chip Bunker, and Dr. JMK
Booze Run - 3k words, the GVF guys come up with a game to make their booze run a bit more entertaining
The Greta Van Fleetles - 3.2k words, GVF go on America’s Got Talent, impersonating one of the most popular bands of all time
Addressing Your Questions and Concerns Pt. 2 - 7.6k words, Literally what the title says lol
Clowning Around - 4.1k words, Oliver Reed is alive, he’s just stuck in a witness protection program because he accidentally stumbled across a ninja clown crime ring
Rising With the Demons Above - 5.2k words, Greta Van Fleet witness a demonic possession and, of course, end up making things like 20x worse
Ready for the Garden - 1.8k words, Jake reflects on his success, and how Greta Van Fleet finally played Madison Square Garden
Turkey Day - 4.3k words, Jake decides he wants to host Thanksgiving this year, and Josh is immediately skeptical that he's up to no good
Prime Suspects - 8k words, The GVF guys find themselves caught in a heap of trouble. The problem is, they can't quite work out what they did.
Growth - 2.4k words, Danny will go to great lengths to ensure that he can grow facial hair
Nardwuar Vs. Greta Van Fleet - 2k words, The members of Greta Van Fleet agree to do an interview with the Human Napkin himself, Nardwuar, and find themselves ridiculously unprepared for his interview style.
Hexed - 27k words, Jake physically can’t stop singing and dancing and it seems that there must be some dark magic involved. Will the guys be able to get Jake back to normal before their show?
Summer of 69 - 39k words, Greta Van Fleet somehow manage to travel back in time to the Woodstock Art and Music festival
The Frozen Light - 48k words, In the quiet town of Frankenmuth, a string of missing persons cases opens a wider question about who is to blame, drawing a deep divide between the town and its hidden supernatural residents.
Battle of the Bands - 29k words, A young Greta Van Fleet find hope in a local battle of the bands competition to finally catch their big break.
Episode 1 - 5k words, Josh struggles with writer’s block, Jake is certain he’s being haunted, and Sam and Danny are engaged in an intense prank war
Episode 2 - 6.7k words, The members of Greta Van Fleet deal with loss: Josh loses his beloved notebook (which Sam attempts to find) and Jake and Danny get hopelessly lost in the woods
Episode 3 - 5.9k words, After an incident involving Jake's amp, he's determined to win the cash to buy a replacement. Meanwhile, Josh and Danny choreograph a dance for a music video and Sam's clumsiness makes him see red.
Episode 4 - 5.8k words, It's media day for the GVF guys! What could go wrong? (everything) Danny struggles to hold back the truth, Jake takes advice from a higher up, and Sam and Josh can't stop saying the wrong thing.
The One Where They Play Monopoly - 1.5k words, On a slow day, GVF decides to play a friendly game of Monopoly that winds up being anything but that
Greta Van Fleet Go To A Haunted House - 4.7k words, GVF make their way to a haunted house for shits and giggles.
Dream Seller??? Hello what (I thought they were singing Dream Sara during my first listen)
Must I Go Bound made me cry wtf but also what happened to the extended "I don't want to love another" part???? They must have taken it out so I didn't start choking on my own snot
The bells chiming at the end of Skyway Drifter was a LOT. I get it guys, you were lost out at sea together in a previous life!!!
Mikey Sorbello rocks
I could see Thursday Night Football or something using some of their songs for their opening titles (a smidge derogatory) but you know sometimes you need a little yeehaw clap stomp hype music
LOVE that they kept the little "woo!" at the end of Heels of the Hunt
Gotta go back to Skyway Drifter, they were going absolutely ham in the studio adding random ass noises to that track like okay divas
Jake and Chris put both butt cheeks into this and you can fight me if you want
Dream Seller??? Hello what (I thought they were singing Dream Sara during my first listen)
Must I Go Bound made me cry wtf but also what happened to the extended "I don't want to love another" part???? They must have taken it out so I didn't start choking on my own snot
The bells chiming at the end of Skyway Drifter was a LOT. I get it guys, you were lost out at sea together in a previous life!!!
Mikey Sorbello rocks
I could see Thursday Night Football or something using some of their songs for their opening titles (a smidge derogatory) but you know sometimes you need a little yeehaw clap stomp hype music
LOVE that they kept the little "woo!" at the end of Heels of the Hunt
Gotta go back to Skyway Drifter, they were going absolutely ham in the studio adding random ass noises to that track like okay divas
Jake and Chris put both butt cheeks into this and you can fight me if you want
Anyone want a ticket to see Mirador in Portland on 10/6?
In a state of panic I impulsively bought a ticket to a show that's frankly unreasonably far away from me. Whoever wants it, it's all yours - free of charge!! I really just want this ticket to go to use so someone can have a super fun night!
Feel free to share out in case you know someone who might be interested - I promise this isn't a scam!! I'm just a silly person who needs her credit card taken away!
And if anyone's going to the SF show, see ya there 🏴☠️
HEY MIRADOR WHAT DO YOU MEAN TO BE REVEALED FOR OCT 4 HUH???? THE ONE SHOW THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY BE CLOSE TO ME LIKE ARE YOU JOKING DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS GONNA EXPLODE RAHHHHHHH
Synopsis: Greta Van Fleet attend a midnight screening of Rocky Horror and discover something extraordinary. Could this possibly be the best night of their lives?
Warnings: language
Chapter 1
“I can’t believe you two have never done this before,” Josh couldn’t help but muse to himself as he, Jake, Sam, and Danny walked from their parked car to the small indie theater sitting in the outskirts of Nashville.
“We really let them down, I think,” Jake agreed, looking at Sam and Danny with pity.
Sam and Danny looked back at the twins, who were both wearing costumes that they couldn’t wrap their heads around. Sam had asked Josh earlier if he was really sure he was legally allowed to be walking around in public wearing nothing but a golden speedo and a white robe. Josh had retorted that he looked good, so it wasn’t a crime. Jake, while covered up significantly more, was wearing all leather, which made him squeak with every step. They had tried to get Sam and Danny into corsets but, not knowing what they were getting themselves into, Sam and Danny had made their stance firm that they were going to remain in their street clothes, thank you very much.
“I’m just glad we’re getting out tonight,” Danny admitted. “I feel like you’ve all collectively been going through it.”
Their group chat had been flooded with negativity over the past few weeks, to the point where Danny was starting to wonder if they needed to go on a retreat to another haunted cabin to clear their minds. Hearing about Jake’s sapped creativity, Josh’s chronic perfectionism, and Sam’s overwhelming lack of direction made him worried. This was what happened when they took a break from the studio and touring: they tended to get trapped in their heads to a concerning level. It had been Josh’s suggestion that they meet up for a movie night, and Danny couldn’t be more relieved that everyone accepted the invite. It was time for a little escapism.
They made it to the front doors of the theater, and Josh looked around at his friends in glee. “Get ready for the best night of your lives,” he told them, wiggling his eyebrows.
“We played at Madison Square Garden,” Danny murmured under his breath. “That’s gonna be pretty hard to beat.”
Josh tore open the front door and flung himself inside, prepared to be greeted by a hoard of other cult classic film fanatics. What he was met with, instead, was a dead lobby with only a single high school employee standing behind the cash register next to the borderline empty popcorn machine. Jake joined Josh’s side and frowned at the scene.
“Maybe we got the date wrong?” he murmured to Josh. All that Josh could give in return was a half-assed shrug.
“You guys here for Rocky Horror?” the teenager asked them, looking up from his phone.
“We were told it was gonna be the best night of our lives,” Sam replied, unable to stop himself from mocking his older brother. The teenager gave a small smile, but it was obvious that he felt bad for the four men.
“The troupe all caught food poisoning. I’d be more than happy to get my manager to still play the movie for you though, considering you made the trek out and all,” he offered. Everyone looked around at each other. A part of the magic was having the actors in front of the screen, bringing the movie to life. The other fun part was having a packed theater full of superfans.
“Are we the only ones here?” Jake had to ask. The teenager nodded, his lips pursed with an apologetic look. Jake was ready to throw up his hands and call it a night. It would probably take him the rest of the evening to peel his body out of the leather clothes anyway.
“I think we should still do it,” Danny chimed in. “I mean, I’ve heard so much about this movie, I really do want to see it.”
“You’re still gonna be considered virgins at the next screening we go to,” Josh looked between Sam and Danny. “This won’t count.”
Sam and Danny shrugged. They really didn’t know what Josh was going on about with virgins and stuff, so they could care less.
And so, with their tickets scanned and their arms loaded with rice, toast, and newspapers, they made their way into the empty theater. “We have to be in the front row, that’s where the action is,” Josh chirped, rushing towards the screen.
“My neck is gonna hurt,” Sam whined. He went in the opposite direction and planted himself in the center seat of the back row, throwing his hoodie up over his head and placing on some dark sunglasses. Danny looked back at his friend, sighed, and joined Jake, who was sitting in a more respectable place in the center of the theater.
“What should I anticipate?” he leaned into Jake’s side. Jake’s clothes let out a tiny squeak.
“Josh is about to become the most insufferable version of himself.” Jake paused and seemed to be pondering something. “I probably will be too. Sorry in advance.”
Out of habit, Danny clutched onto the arms of his seat to brace himself. Especially in an empty theater, there was no knowing how out of hand things were going to get. Sam seemed to be two steps ahead of Danny in reaching this conclusion, because he was sinking farther and farther back into his seat, trying to disappear.
The projector flicked on, which was met by applause from Jake and Josh. After the Fox logo briefly flashed onscreen, a pair of vivid red lips appeared. Josh immediately let out a primal scream and tore his robe off, baring his exposed chest to the screen. Jake joined his brother, standing in the aisle, and jumped up and down in antici[...]pation.
As the mouth sang the opening, Jake and Josh bellowed along at the top of their lungs.
“Michael Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still, but he told us where we stand…”
Danny shoved his fingers into his ears and felt the dread wash over him that he should have just stayed home and watched golf.
“Sing along, you know this one!” Jake said down to Danny, smacking at his arm with the back of his hand. Danny shook his head with a frown.
“I literally don’t.”
Jake left Danny’s side, to Danny’s relief, and joined Josh so they could continue to holler at the top of their lungs and flail up and down the aisle. Danny thought it couldn’t get any worse until the two started conspiring.
“We should do the performance!” Josh shouted to Jake, holding his hands and looking at him with a wide grin. Jake was so gobsmacked at the suggestion, all he could do was eagerly nod, his eyes wide.
“I call dibs on Janet!” Josh announced to the theater. “Which makes Jake Brad.”
“I wanna be Meatloaf too,” Jake added, motioning down to his leather garb. “It would be a crime to let this costume go to waste.”
“You can be the background characters!” Josh pointed at Danny, nearly smacking him in the face, and then Sam, who had fully planked to the floor in the background, hoping he could go unnoticed for the rest of the evening.
“Come out, Sammy!” Jake barked. “You gotta shake your ass!”
“I don’t wanna,” Sam’s soft whines wafted down from the back row. Danny managed to hustle around Jake and Josh so he didn’t get in the way of their continued dancing, and jogged up the stairs to join his friend. Whether it was to coax him down or hide alongside him, Danny wasn’t entirely sure yet.
“You doing okay?” he softly asked the curled up ball on the floor. All he got in return was a grunt. “If I got popcorn, would that help?” Sam’s low grunts came to a halt.
“Can you get it with extra butter?” he unfurled himself and bat his eyelashes up at Danny.
“You got it, bud.” Danny retreated back down the stairs and booked it to the concessions stand. Whatever it took to get Sam as backup for whatever chaos Jake and Josh were about to unleash. It was looking more and more like an all hands on deck type of situation. It had been a while since he had last seen the twins look that energized, and he was terrified.
“Everything okay?” the high schooler looked at Danny with concern.
Danny was quick to reassure him. “Oh yeah, just wanted to get some popcorn.”
“We, er, really don’t have that much left,” the high schooler trailed off as he peered into the machine. Danny took a peek as well and noted that there were definitely more kernels than actual popped corn. He mulled it over, and then finally shrugged.
“Got an ICEE machine?”
“Yup.”
“That’ll do.”
A few minutes later, Danny returned back into the theater and was almost immediately taken out by a flying bouquet. “Gah!” Danny hollered out, spilling part of the blue ICEE down the front of his white shirt. “Darn,” he grumbled down at the growing stain.
“You gotta throw the bouquet to me, Betty!” Josh called from the front of the theater. “Quick, before the scene changes!”
Danny knew that it was best to play along and ask questions later, so he made sure to pelt Josh in the face with the bouquet. Unphased by this, Josh held it up for everyone to see.
“I’ve got it, I’ve got it,” he mouthed along with Susan Sarandon’s character, Janet, who was plastered on the screen.
As Danny trudged back up the theater stairs, still bummed out from his destroyed shirt, Jake and Josh broke out into an enthusiastic lip sync to “Dammit Janet.”
“Here’s your drink,” Danny stated with a monotonous tone. Sam looked up at him in confusion.
“I didn’t order a drink?” he whispered.
“Just, take it,” Danny sighed, placing the blue ICEE in Sam’s hands. While he looked uncertain at first, it didn’t take long for Sam to start happily slurping down on it, without a single care in the world. Danny gazed back at the front of the theater, where Jake was now on one knee, proposing to a surprised Josh with one of his hoop earrings that he had hastily unfastened from his ear.
“Oh, J-A-N-E-T, I love you so,” Jake sang along with the film, forgetting that he was supposed to be lip syncing.
“Wanna hide with me?” Sam looked at Danny in between sips of his drink. Danny couldn’t help but shoot Sam a small smile when he saw that his tongue and lips were already starting to turn blue.
“Kind of,” Danny admitted. “But I also really want to watch what’s gonna happen.”
At this point, Josh was singing along to the track at the top of his lungs in a falsetto wail, running circles around Jake, who was struggling to catch up with him. Danny was frankly dumbfounded by the entire experience. He had always associated sex and scandal with Rocky Horror, but what was playing in front of him felt more like the opening to some goofy romcom.
Things started to make more sense to Danny when the scene shifted to Janet and Brad getting stranded with a flat tire, and approaching a spooky castle to use their phone. Josh was upping the ante at this point in his performance, juggling between Janet and Riff Raff. It was hard to watch him force all of his lines out before he had to shift characters, and Danny found himself dragging Sam down to them.
“No, no,” Sam choked out in shock. “I need to stay incognito.”
“No one else is here,” Danny tried to comfort his distressed friend. “It’ll be okay, just let loose.”
“If they try to make me sing, I’m leaving,” Sam warned Danny.
“That’s only fair.”
Danny led Sam to Jake and Josh and gave a small wave in front of their faces.
“Sam and I want to join you,” he spoke quickly when there was a break in the dialogue.
“It’s about time!” Josh snapped out of character. Jake nodded enthusiastically.
“You can be Brad,” Josh instructed Danny.
“Which means I’m Janet, right?” Sam’s face contorted into a scowl.
“You’ve got the legs for it, sugar,” Jake joked in a creepy voice, leaning into Sam’s side. Danny held onto Sam’s coat sleeve to keep him from booking it out of the theater.
“It’s astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes its toll…” Josh began to sing along with Riff Raff, opening up his arms to his friends, encouraging their participation.
“What’s happening? I don’t know what’s happening,” Sam whispered to Danny.
“Nice improv, you’re really keeping in character!” Jake congratulated him. Sam looked beyond lost.
“But listen closely…” Josh continued.
“Not for very much longer…” Jake joined in the song.
“I’ve got to keep control!” Josh hollered. Danny and Sam gaped at Josh, who was now wiggling around like he had a thousand bees shoved in his golden speedo. As he roared along to the soundtrack, Jake pushed Danny and Sam forward, which caused them to both call out in surprise, barely catching themselves before they tumbled to the floor.
“What was that for?” Sam barked back at his older brother in shock. Jake shrugged back at him.
“LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!” boomed around the theater.
“This is the dance number!” Josh hurried to Sam and Danny’s side to enlighten them. “They tell you all the steps in the song, you just have to follow along!”
Sam opened his mouth to release yet another complaint, but was stopped in his tracks when Jake, Josh, and Danny took a jump to the left, taking him with them.
“Oh Christ!” he yelped out, flailing around.
Danny was having an admittedly better time than Sam. It didn’t take him long to catch onto the dance moves, taking a step to the right, putting his hands on his hips, bringing his knees in tight, and then doing the pelvic thrust. Before long he found that he was singing along with the film, and had broken away from his friends to give himself more space to dance around.
Perhaps the sight of Danny having the time of his life was enticing. By the second chorus, Sam had started to come around. His movements were exaggerated, and his previously furrowed brow was long gone. Sam Kiszka was deeply enjoying himself at Rocky Horror. So much so that he started to lose control. Danny chuckled at his friend’s clumsiness as he started to teeter over while he was doing the pelvic thrust. That laugh came to an immediate stop when, instead of toppling into the screen, Sam went straight through it. Danny’s eyes bulged and he shook his head, trying to make sure he had just seen what he thought he saw. He couldn’t believe it, but it seemed true.
Sam had disappeared.
Still uncertain, Danny crept to the screen and pulled it away from the wall, looking behind it. No Sam. He gazed back up at the rest of the theater, scanning around for his friend, just in case he was playing a prank and hiding. But Danny wasn’t seeing him anywhere.
Beside him, Jake and Josh were still dancing, entirely oblivious to what had just happened. While Danny was typically a more strategic and thoughtful problem solver, the panic that filled his body from head to toe was overboding.
“Sam’s gone!” he shrieked. That did the trick, getting Jake and Josh to stop their dancing. They scanned around the theater, like Danny had done just seconds earlier. Jake scratched his head.
“Like, to the bathroom?” Josh tried to put the pieces together. He was troubled by how horrified Danny looked, but couldn’t conjure up any explanation that seemed fitting.
“Through the screen!” Danny managed to sputter out. Jake and Josh shared an uncertain glance. Apparently today was the day that Danny officially went off the deep end. Jake was on the verge of recommending they take Danny home so he could sleep it off when his eyebrows shot into his hairline. Above their heads on the large screen where the Rocky Horror characters were still dancing was Sam, dressed in a matching suit to the cast, looking around in confusion.
“How in the hell…?” Jake trailed off, unable to form a coherent thought.
Josh had evidently spotted Sam as well, because he was already running towards the screen at full speed. “We have to help him!” Josh called out, before disappearing. Danny and Jake both gawked at the empty place where Josh had just been. Then, slowly, their eyes tracked up to the screen. Josh was now standing next to Sam, wearing a similar suit, flamboyant sunglasses, and a tiny hat. Seeing that Josh had successfully crossed over, Danny gave it no thought. Without a word, he hurried behind his friend, eager to get to Sam and comfort him.
This left Jake standing alone in the theater, squeaking uncomfortably in his leather. He mulled over his situation. It would be best if he stayed in the theater to get help if they needed it, right? But he was really jealous of his friends. He had always dreamed of being in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. It wasn’t fair that they all got to experience it, and he didn’t.
That thought was enough to get Jake to jump through the screen, into the blinding light.
